Talk Show with Bartimaeus
Chapter 7: Minds Works Weirdishly...
Disclaimers: I don't own The Bartimaeus Trilogy...no duh
Barty: Wow.
Me: What?
Barty: These people must be really stupid to think you own any of this crap!
Me: I know...But I have to disclaim or I'll get sued.
Barty: Well that definitely would NOT be a good thing!
Me: Nope...This is why I disclaim that I DON'T OWN ANYTHIIIIIIIING!!!
"We're back...Again!" announced Bartimaeus.
"Yay..." said the audience sarcastically.
"HEY! Only I, the great Bartimaeus of Uruk, Serpent of the Silver Plumes, etc., etc, can use sarcasm to insult people! Foolish mortals..."
"Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?" said Kitty accusingly.
"I woke up on the floor!" cried Nathaniel.
"..." went the audience/guests.
"Ahem...As I was saying before you so RUDELY INTERRUPTED ME! We are back!" said the djinni currently hosting the show.
"Right...so...does anyone in the audience have any suggestions for what we should do on the show right now?"
The audience immediately perked up as this was the first time they had interacted at all.
Bartimaeus pulled a huge black top hat from somewhere in the sound booth (remember? He's in there now!!).
"OK! We shall play a little something I like to call: Pick A Random Slip Of Paper Out Of The Hat And Do Whatever It Says!!" Barty exclaimed.
Suddenly one slip of paper for every audience member fell from the ceiling. And pencils. Recently sharpened pencils.
Screams of pain filled the studio.
Quite a few slips of paper fell to the floor with no owner to catch them...How sad...
"Hmmm...I probably should have used crayons," muttered the djinni host away from the microphone so he couldn't be heard.
"So...What's the hat and stuff for again?" asked Nathaniel.
"Bartimaeus will pick a slip of paper from the hat to show what we will do next on the show!" explained Kitty excitedly.
"But what's gonna be on the slips of paper?"
"The choices of games made by the audience," she waved her hand in their direction.
"Thank you Kitty! You've been a great help!" exclaimed Bartimaeus. "Now if only you could teach him how to properly summon a djinni..." he added to himself.
Unfortunately, he forgot he was speaking into a microphone.
"Hey! I heard that!" cried Nathaniel.
On second thought...Maybe you shouldn't, thought Bartimaeus.
"HEY! DEMON PERSON!! EVERYONE'S DONE WRITING!" some random person screamed.
Obviously, they didn't know about Bartimaeus's sensitivity towards the classification of "demon".
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" yelled Bartimaeus, making fire randomly pop up behind him.
"Um..." the person seemed to be catching on slightly. "A good person...? Hehe..." he ran out of the studio as fast as his little human legs could carry him.
Bartimaeus was still fuming as he took the hat from the young woman sitting right below the sound booth. She bowed deeply as she walked away.
"Just like the old days," muttered the djinni as he stuffed his hand in the small sea of paper in the hat.
He shuffled the slips around dramatically for, like, 15 minutes.
Practically everyone was sleeping by the time Barty screamed out, "WHAT COMES TO MIND!!" (AN: that's what I'm calling it. It's that games where someone's like "what's the first word that comes to mind when I say: pickle" and the other person says the first word that comes to their mind..."CHEESE!")
Everyone taking a short catnap awoke with a start. Including Nat.
"I SURRENDER!" he screamed with his hands held high.
Crickets: chirp
"Okaaaaaaay...Are we done screaming out random pointless things Nathaniel...John?" said Bartimaeus.
Nat just glared. He just said my birth name...AGAIN! He thought, I hope no one noticed...It's very embarrassing...
"Alright. Everyone know how to play this game?" Barty asked.
Nods all around from the guests.
"What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say...uh...HOPKINS!!"
The guests will be answering in this order (so memorize it! I'm not repeating it):
Kitty
Devereaux
Jane
Pinn
Whitwell
Nathaniel
Bob the hobo
Bartimaeus
"Ropes!"
"Orchestra!"
"Commoner!"
"Chess!"
"Imp!"
"MEEE!!"
(twitch) (AN: yes...that was the reply of Bob the hobo...)
"Faquarl...So...that was interesting..."
The crowd cheered. Wow. I guess there's a first for everything.
"What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say...um...CHILDREN!"
"Couch!"
"Watch!"
"Cheese!"
"Pillow!"
"Lollipop!"
"Demon!"
(twitch)
"A-thanielcough"
The crowd laughed at Barty's little Nathaniel joke much to the djinni contentment.
"Muahahahahaha...ahem...What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say...STARS!!"
"Sphere!"
"Magic!"
"Fire!"
"Silver!"
"Ice!"
"27!"
(twitch)
"Chickens!!"
Everyone stared...It was weird for Bartimaeus to not make sense...
"What?...Um...What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say...MESOPOTAMIA!!"
"POTATO!"
"POTAHTO!"
"TOMATO!"
"TOMAHTO!"
"Mess-of-who?"
"Babylonia, Assyria, and Sumer!"
Crickets: chirp
Buzzer sounds!
Bartimaeus tore his eyes away from the dramatically poised hobo who thought he was smart to say, "Whoa! Minds work...Weirdishly!!! We'll be back after the break!!"
Yay! Chapter 7!! Sorry it took so long to update! Review!! It will make me happy! D
Bartimaeus: REVIEEEEW!!
Nathaniel: Yes...what he said!!