During Charms, a first year Ravenclaw came in the classroom and said Dumbledore wanted to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They left, and stopped in front of the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. Harry, who had been in the office several times that year, knew the password was "acid pops." He said it, and the gargoyle moved aside revealing stairs that lead up to a door. Harry knocked and Dumbledore said, "Come in." So Ron, Hermione, and Harry entered and sat in three chairs at Dumbledore's desk across from him.
"As you may have guessed, the reason you are here is your cease and desist demand from the Daily Prophet," said Dumbledore. "I also received a copy of this document along with a letter telling me I need to control my students better. I wrote back saying that I was fully aware of you writing this newspaper, there was nothing illegal about it apart from the name, and I am a strong supporter of the Daily Non-Prophet. Because they print whatever the Ministry tells them to--I'm sure my opinion will count for something--as they don't regard me as a nutcase anymore. Even though I wrote to them, I think it would be appropriate for you three, as the owners, to write to them also. In the mean time, I think it's necessary to, as they say, 'cease and desist.'"
"I was planning to write to them today, and we've been trying to notify people working for us that we won't be printing new copies until further notice," said Hermione.
"Good, and be sure to sign the letter from all of you, even if you're the only one who writes it. Actually, that probably would be the best idea," said Dumbledore looking at Ron, "You don't want the letter to sound peevish."
As they headed to their next class, History of Magic, Ron constantly muttered, "peevish" under his breath until Hermione slapped him across the face out of annoyance.
For once, Hermione didn't write down every word that came out of Professor Binn's mouth. She did write, but none of it was even related to what the professor was saying.
"Hey, Hermione," whispered Harry. "Why aren't you taking notes for me and Ron to copy off today?"
"Yesterday I asked what we would be learning about today, found some books on it after I was done researching law, and took notes in advance so I could start the letters to our readers and the Daily Prophet. Also, it wouldn't kill you and Ron to take notes for once."
"AHHHH! THE QUILL IS BURNING MY HAND!" said Ron.
So that day everybody's mind was far away from Binn's lecture, instead of everyone's mind minus one, as Hermione wrote:
Dear Daily Prophet newspaper,
We at the Daily Non-Prophet recently received a cease and desist demand from you. We have stopped sending out our paper, as you asked.
In your letter, you accused the Daily Non-Prophet of violating copyright law. We thought that meant copying your articles, not your name, and there was nothing illegal about it. If you can find a law that states the parodying names of names is illegal, we will be glad to change the name of our newspaper. (We don't doubt this is untrue, we just can't find a law that states that.) Furthermore, you say we violate unfair competition law. First of all, there is no such thing that we know of, and we won't believe there is until you provide proof. (Once again, no books at the Hogwarts library mention it.) Even if this law does exist, it doesn't apply to us. We have nowhere near enough readers to even be considered competition by the Daily Prophet. If you think making a parody is illegal because it slightly brings down your profit, I think you need to go back to Hogwarts and learn about freedom of speech.
Write back soon, and please provide an explanation to these illegal actions you accuse us of.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter
Owners
The Daily Non-Prophet
When she finished, she shoved it in Harry's face who was playing tic-tac-toe on a piece of parchment with Ron. He and Ron read the letter, muttered their approval, and went back to playing tic-tac-toe. Hermione, on the other hand, proceeded to write a letter to the Daily Non-Prophet readers.
Dear Daily Non-Prophet readers,
Due to a cease and desist demand we received yesterday from the Daily Prophet, we are unable to print more papers until further notice. The Daily Prophet accuses us of things we don't know are illegal such as copying their name (this very well could be), and unfairly competing with them by writing a parody that decreases their profit slightly. We are almost certain there's nothing illegal about that, but we don't want to cause more trouble with England's most popular newspaper, so we are going to suspend the Daily Non-Prophet until we figure this out.
If you have any questions you can write to Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, or Hermione Granger at the Daily Non-Prophet. If you have a question for Peeves, you can sent it to him at Peeves at the Daily Non-Prophet; rest assured he will hate reading it. Individual responses are not available at this time, unfortunately. It would also be very much appreciated if you wrote to Arschloch Bumser at the Daily Prophet, and told him how you feel about is actions regarding our newspaper.
Thanks to all of our few readers,
Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter
Owners
The Daily Non-Prophet
Hermione again thrust it at Harry and Ron. Ron was painfully reminded that he wouldn't be able to write Ask Peeves for a while. He also remembered that the Daily Prophet hadn't mentioned anything illegal about Ask Peeves.