SPOMONO
Lovino was home alone. His fratello was out with that ass hat potato bastard, and Spain had gone out doing whatever the fuck Spain did when he went out, humping moose or something I don't know. He smirked to himself as the truth dawned on him; he was free to do whatever pleased his funny little mind. The brunette stood and stalked sexily towards the kitchen, wayward curl bouncing gently as he padded across the cold floor. The sun glanced across the cutlery drawer invitingly, seeming to call Lovi's name.
"Lovi~ Loviiii~ ~" He didn't notice that he was advancing towards it until he found himself directly in front of its smooth white surface. Gently, lovingly, he ran his finger across the shiny black handle, a strangely delicate action for a person such as himself. Slowly, almost hesitantly, the nation began to slide the drawer open, smiling in response to the musical sound of it rolling across its whatever you callits.
His lover was inside of there, waiting for him with a patience Lovino knew he would never find in any living creature. As the cold metal utensils were revealed with a painstaking slowness, the glittering sunlight glanced across his favorite piece of silverware, making it shimmer in a taunting, erotic way. The brunette moaned at the very sight of his beloved spoon, reaching deep inside of the crowded storage unit and groping around inside to gingerly lift the utensil from its quiet resting place, his touch feather-light as though it were a delicate flower blowing in the wind. He sighed, bringing it to his soft, pink lips and beginning to plant kisses, like delicate seedlings, along its silvery contours. His tongue darted out and in swiftly, briefly tasting his lover's metallic surface. The savory flavor ignited something more inside the nation, and he finally lost it. He needed more.
The hot-tempered nation skillfully unbuttoned his pants as he continued to caress the spoon with his pink tongue, and vigorously tore them down with a fiery passion, his underwear following soon after. His left hand wandered up under his own shirt, while his right one wandered down, still holding the spoon. He gasped slightly as the object brushed against his exposed member, almost simultaneous with his hand brushing over his supple nipple. A soft moan escaped his trembling lips, his eyes screwed shut and his face tilted to the heavens. He daintily held the spoon by the scoop end, slowly, teasingly tracing his length up and down with the handle, coating it with sticky pre-cum. When it was sufficiently wetted to his taste, he carefully shifted position, mentally preparing himself for the oncoming assault to his entrance. Overwhelmed with lust, he hardly noticed the pain as the awkwardly shaped, shining wet object was forced in the first inch or so. His whole body writhed with need, as he resisted the nearly overwhelming urge to begin wildly pumping his own throbbing rod of passion. Wriggling the spoon awkwardly, he slowly forced it deeper, gasping with each breath at the intense sensation flowing throughout his lithe body.
"Fuuuck" he moaned to himself, slowly speeding up as he adjusted the the feeling. He found it impossible to stay still as he frantically searched for that one, special spot, and- Oh! Oh god! Spoon, meet prostrate. Prostrate, meet spoon. I trust that you will get along swimmingly.
"" Lovino cried out, glad that no one good hear him. His thrusts became more even now that he had found his special spot, but also much swifter and more frantic. Eventually, he came with yet another high volume moan, ejaculating his essence in an extremely messy fashion.
"CHIGIII" he screamed. His mouth hung open, feeling dry, as he panted and waited out the aftershocks of his enormous orgasm. Slowly, he extruded his lover from his throbbing butt hole, and set about cleaning up after himself.
"It doesn't count as masturbation" He muttered to himself, running a dry towel along the length of his shiny-clean utensil "I love my spoon more than any woman, ever" And he put the spoon right on top, hoping that maybe Spain would grab it, and he could watch him use it; watch his experienced lips dance across his lover's surface and try super hard not to get a boner. Lol super hard.
"Until next time, mi amore" he whispered, and closed the drawer.