Chapter 7: A Past's Protection

I didn't bring the papers with me. The ink was faded already and I didn't want to ruin them further.

The ride to the historical society is not as quiet as the drive we took out earlier. "So, you said our families have been 'connected for years.' How?"

"You don't know your family's past." It was a statement and not a question.

"No. Grandma and Grandpa didn't say much. Grandpa always said I'd find out when the time was right and when I was supposed to. My dad died when I was four. I know he was sick, but I don't remember him being sick. He'd always have a smile. Mom took us back to 'her' east coast as soon as she could after he was gone. Colorado Springs never held much meaning to her. Not like it did Dad."

His eyes never left the road I was steering us along. "And what does it mean to you?"

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

"No."

I watched the trees and other pieces of scenery that I have just come to appreciate pass. I don't know what he's looking for. "I honestly don't know yet. It was my dad's home. .. His- my family's home. When we stepped out of the car back there… I felt at home. I wanted- I wanted- I wanted to stay and never leave. There was a feeling of relief and safety at that desk. I just… not right now, maybe, but I belong here. I can't explain it." Tommy continued to sit there. "Are you going to answer MY question now? It's your turn," I remind him as I poke his arm.

"Very well," he says and pokes me back. "My grandfather survived the Washita massacre. Your grandfather took him to safety and freedom. My grandmother was at Palmer Creek when the 'revolt' happened. She, and her parents, made it North because of your grandmother. It… That is the start."

"That-"

"-is the past. It is a part of us, but it is the past. It shapes us, but we choose our own paths from the point when it becomes the present."

We fall into a heavy silence. It isn't tense, but the air is filled with something unexplainable.

DQMW DQMW DQMW

I was led into this room 20 minutes ago. Tommy said he'd wait outside for me. I sit here and stare at the book. I've read it before. I have a copy in my bag. I keep it in an air tight case, but it goes everywhere with me. I like to know it's safe.

I ease the cover of the book open. It is exactly like mine. Why is this so important? I carefully turn the pages. When I reach the back of the book I see the same writing from the papers in the desk. I read the additional content and am unsure of what to do with the new… the new insight.

I sit here longer and I can't make a decision. I reach into my bag and pull out the letter from Grandpa. Maybe it can help. Inside, the yellowing paper once again has the feminine writing that I'm becoming quite fond of. Grandpa only wrote out the envelope.

My dear, dear granddaughter,

I am so sorry that I'll never get to meet you. I'm not sure how long it will take for you to breath in your first breath. My son's child or his child's child… My heart tells me that it will take some time before you arrive.

I want to explain to you- to tell you… You are worth the world and I know that you will accomplish great things. Things that you want and some that you didn't know you wanted. Most of my life was spent behind what was expected of me and what I was told I wanted. Never in a million years did I expect I'd have my beloved Gazette or a book published.

Be brave, my strong little girl. Hold strong to your convictions and stay steadfast. Combine that with kindness and you will become everything both you and I could ever hope for.

My first book taught me a lesson and I will always remember it. My second book… The completed form was never heard by anyone but your grandpfather. After Palmer Creek, O'Conner came to town. The book was turned into flames, but your grandfather was safe. His life- his life was far more important than any number of papers…

I began writing the book again. Cloud Dancing, your grandpa, helped me with the things I couldn't remember. He- Cloud Dancing- I lost him before completing the final copy. I made a promise to him when I was writing the book the first time: It would NOT be published without his approvable. He would have given it, but I love him too much to break any promise.

I want the best of everything for you. I want you to remember 3 things:

1. Be happy and comfortable in who you are.

2. Treat everyone with compassion and respect.

3. Do what is right and protect those you care for and love.

Your grandfather and I are so very proud of you. Always and forever know that.

Love,

Your grandmother,

Dorothy Jennings

I leave the room after coming to a conclusion as to what needs done. Tommy is waiting for me just outside the door. "Well? Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I answer honestly. "The book looks exactly like mine did." I grip my satchel close to me. We look at each other and Tommy nods his head in understanding. "I was thinking I'd stay at… at home instead of the hotel tonight. Will you take me?"

He opens the car door for me. "Of course."

Tommy's opening his door when I ask, "Are there any other Colorado Spring traditions I should experience?"

He grins over the hood of the car at me. "You should try the Sweethearts Dance."