I awoke the next morning with a massive headache. It felt like a hangover. My head was pounding, and, for the first time, my heart was, too. I pressed my hand to my chest and felt it beat healthy and strong. I smiled for what felt like the first time in years. I found some pain killers and took two. My headache was muted, but it would be awhile before it finally faded away.

I knew why it had come.

I had given Jacob my heart yesterday, but I was too far gone to realize it. I needed to see him, even if it meant encountering his wolf form.

I needed to finish what I had started.

I needed to kiss him.

And I needed to do it today.

I got ready for school like any other day, and attended even though my thoughts were far away wandering across the reservation. Thinking so hard about Jake, I was, that I almost wrote his name on top of one of my papers. I quickly refocused and tried, with a futile effort, to block him from my mind. But no matter what I did, he kept wandering back in.

Last period, I watched the clock like a hawk watching a field mouse. The second hand seemed to crawl, and it would take years for the minute hand to move one more notch. My legs were twitchy, and I could barely keep my seat.

I needed to get out.

When the bell rang at long last, rather than racing out of there like I was so fully prepared to do, it seemed rather difficult to even stand. After painfully waiting nearly an entire day for this, now I seemed to dread it. All my fears and doubts came rushing back.

What should I do? What should I say? He doesn't know that I still miss Zack and see and hear him even when I'm awake. He'll need to know everything.

Later that night, while I was quietly scratching away at my homework after scrounging up a meal for one, I heard someone knock at the door. I intended to leave at eight o'clock for Jake, so whoever it was would need to make it quick.

I headed downstairs and opened the door.

"Jake!"

"Bella!"

"I was just about to come over and see you!"

"I wanted to save you the trouble."

"Yeah, right, like you actually knew what I was going to do."

He looked at me feigning shame. I pushed him playfully away and, without asking, he walked inside and made himself comfortable on the couch. I simply followed, my heart racing, but my mind and body moving slowly with careful calculations. I had to do this perfectly.

"Jake," I started, "about last night..."

"I know, I know. I shouldn't've pushed it. I'm sorry. We still friends?"

I was amazed at how perceptive he was. "Of course," I replied. But I want to be so much more than that, I finished in my head.

He didn't catch that thought. I was both grateful and disappointed at the same time.

"So what brings you to these parts?" I asked.

"You."

"Well, I kinda figured that part out. I mean-"

"I couldn't stop thinking about you last night. Bella, I love you, but I don't think we can be friends anymore."

"What do you mean?" I'd already learned all I needed to know about wolves and vampires, what was keeping us apart now?

"I just don't feel the same about you as I used to. It's almost like- like I'm grown up, and you're grown up. I don't feel like a friend, or a brother to you. I feel- I don't know- more."

I swallowed a snigger at his effort to talk about his feelings, but despite his struggle, the meaning was clear: He was falling in love with me.

I liked it this way.

I wanted to reach over and hug him, but how? How do I do it without seeming like I just wanna feel him up? Then, I knew.

"Jake?"

"What? What is it?" The extraordinarily handsome wolf in front of me was nervous. How cute.

"Can we, at least, have one last hug...as friends?"

I could see his struggle. Swallow his romantic feelings for a few seconds? It almost seemed impossible. I began to brace for another wave of disappointment. I broke eye contact and began to form an apology in my head, one that would make it all better, but before I could open my mouth, Jake wrapped me up in one of his fabulous bear hugs.

I would've hugged him back, if it weren't for, "Can't- breathe-"

"Sorry, Bells," he said as he released me.

I inhaled deeply, my lungs desperate for the air that had been crushed out of me.

I looked back into his eyes and saw that he was sorry for more than one thing. That wasn't fair. I had so much more to be sorry for.

I finally began to talk, "Listen, Jake. There's some things you gotta know about me before we do this. I mean, I'm not your ordinary, everyday kind of girl."

"I know."

"I'm still getting over Zachary."

"I know."

I went on to tell him what I was going through, why I had been so listless for months, my hallucinations, everything. I watched his expression change as I began to pour myself out to him. First it was curious, then it was worried, and, as I came to a close, it appeared accepting. I had predicted this, and was prepared for the confusing battle inside me; part of me never wanted to get over Zack, the other part desperately wanted to allow Jacob to enter my life.

Confused about what I wanted, I began to cry.

Jake looked worried again, and wrapped me up in another bear hug, but not as tight this time. He turned his head ever so slowly, and proceeded to kiss me on the forehead.

Not yet ready to give myself completely away, I turned to give him a kiss on the cheek.

I felt like a child, avoiding his lips like they would be the end of my world.

Jake pulled away, and held my face in his hands and looked into my eyes with such intensity, I feared that I would burst into flames.

I closed my eyes, my resolve approaching faster than I wanted it to.

"I can't give you what you want. It would be so hard for me to just forget him," I finally said.

"I'm not asking you to completely give him up. What makes you think I would expect you to get over something like that?"

My eyes opened, "Then what are you asking?"

"I just want you to open your heart up to let me in, too," Jake's intensity lowered, revealing just how deep his love went for me.

I couldn't delay this any longer for my end had finally met me.

Jacob must've somehow heard the conclusion that my heart had reached because there was no further thought. He'd moved swiftly and began kissing me the same way that Zachary would never be able to ever again. It broke my heart, how similar they both were and I tried to push him away, but something inside me was saying, No, don't ruin this.

As soon as that thought finished, it gave way to all the feelings I'd kept pent up. Suddenly the hands that so desperately needed some time to think, wanted to pull him closer his lips glued to mine, my brain disconnected from my body, and I was finally kissing him back. Against all reason, my lips were moving with his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before – because he wasn't Zack, he was Jacob. My hands rested on his powerful pecs, but instead of pushing him away, they were simply exploring, discovering what to look forward to if this progressed any further.

He was everywhere, yet some tiny piece of my brain retained its sanity and screamed questions at me.

Why wasn't I stopping this? I still missed Zachary as if he'd died yesterday. Worse than that, why couldn't I find in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me tighter than Zack had ever held me, and yet it was not tight enough for me?

The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd already moved on.

All this time I thought my heart had wanted Zack back more than anything and I never knew that it had already moved on. I needed Jacob now and this kiss only enforced that fact.