A/N: About time this got here! Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed! Let's get going!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Akatsuki.
On the third day of the Akatsuki's "imprisonment", as Hidan put it, in my apartment, I got a phone call. Not just any phone call – no, this was the one phone call that would save me from the massive stress of dealing with ten criminals on my own. It was only seven words long, but those seven words were all I needed to hear.
"Hey, it's Amanda! I'm at the airport!"
By the time I had reached the phone, she had hung up, but it didn't really matter. I had all the information I needed, and I planned to use it immediately.
I hurried to the door, grabbing my purse off the table as I went. "Konan!" The blue-haired woman looked up from the magazine she was reading as I walked past. "Since you already are anyway, I probably don't need to tell you that you and Leader are in charge while I'm gone."
"Gone?" Tobi leapt at me, seemingly out of nowhere, to grab my shoulders, putting his face (well, his mask, actually) uncomfortably close to mine. "Where are you going? Can I come? How long will it take?"
I shoved him away, continuing my journey to the door. "To the airport, no, and about an hour. Now would you just let me-"
"Airport? What the f*ck is that?" Hidan demanded, sticking his head out of the kitchen, where he seemed to be making a sandwich out of the entire contents of the refrigerator (possibly including the fridge itself).
I rolled my eyes in exasperation – partly at him, partly at myself for forgetting that these people had never heard of half the things I used every day. "It's a place where people go to go somewhere far away," I answered. "And if you'll excuse me, I need to go there, NOW!"
I finally managed to escape, although it was close – I could already hear Kisame starting to ask why it would be so urgent. I sighed with relief, checking my purse to ensure that I had everything I might need. Of course, if I didn't, there was no way I was going back in there, but old precautions die hard.
I made my way to the complex's parking lot, sliding into my car. Normally, I wouldn't have to do this, but Amanda had somehow forgotten to refill her car's gas tank, leaving me to drive her to the airport, and now back. Not that I wasn't glad for any excuse to get out of the apartment these days...
I relaxed a bit, the low growl of the revving engine reminding me that I was, finally, away from the Akatsuki and their insanity.
The trip took about twenty minutes each way – plenty of time to calm down without my "guests" around to screw up my life. Of course, I was sure they were doing that exact thing back home – probably hunting down my most important possessions so as to be more efficient in their gradual destruction of my happiness. But you know what? At least they weren't here.
And with that, I was very lucky that none of them popped up from under the backseat or something.
Anyway, the state of almost-relaxation I managed during the trip (remember, kids, completely relaxing while driving is not safe) came to a stop when I reached the airport – also known as the "Loud-and-Crowded" capital of the city.
Luckily, it didn't take long to find Amanda by the exit – partly because she was kind of hard to miss. After all, a blonde-haired young woman, practically leaping up and down and waving her arms in the air, would be difficult not to notice. Especially when she was yelling my name. Loudly.
The moment I was within arm's length, she wrapped her arms around my neck – even reaching my shoulders would require her to bend down, considering the four-inch height difference between us.
"Oh my God, Christie, I can't believe you're here! I mean, when I called, I wasn't sure that you would come, 'cuz- Wait, how are you here? I thought they were holding you hostage or something and oh crap, I shouldn't have even called, what if they had... I don't know, it seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but anyway I-"
"AMANDA!" I finally broke through, having been trying for that whole word-spurt to get a word in edgewise. "As you can see, I'm fine. It's okay, and before you ask, no, I did not have to sneak out." Not really, anyway.
"Really?" Amanda blinked in surprise, finally releasing my neck from her vice-like grip. "So... you're okay then? Wow." After taking a moment to let this new development sink in, she abruptly reached down and picked up her duffel bag, smiling cheerily. "Well, let's go then!"
I shook my head and followed her as she started toward the garage. She doesn't even know where I parked.
"So, I was wondering..." she began. "What kind of psycho criminals let their landlady-slash-hostage go off on her own, with her car and purse, to an airport, no less?"
"I... I don't know." My brow furrowed slightly. "Come to think of it, it's pretty weird. I guess they just..." I fell silent, only able to think of one option other than "they're a bunch of brainless morons". It won't matter if I try to run.
"Uh... hey, Christie? You were saying?"
I flinched slightly, realizing that I had been spacing out for the past several seconds – and that, if I didn't watch it, I would end up lost in this maze of a garage soon. Grr.
"I... nothing." I shook my head. "They're probably just idiots. Actually, scratch that, they are idiots." Yes. That was my theory, and I was sticking to it.
"Hmm... yes, that would make sense." Amanda nodded sagely before allowing her expression to return to its usual state of smothering cheerfulness. "Hey, what are the idiots in question like, anyway?"
I grimaced, my grip on the strap of my purse tightening slightly. "Do NOT get me started."
Of course, Amanda did not have enough sense to leave the issue alone, and so, for what felt like about fifteen minutes (but was probably more like five; Amanda's attention span is not that great), I was mercilessly pummeled with all sorts of questions about my (now our) captors.
"How many are there? Have any of them been extra annoying? Are any of them nice-ish? How stupid are they, exactly?"
Finally, I gave up trying to ignore Amanda and informed her that she would find out soon enough, if she would just BE QUIET AND LET ME DRIVE. After that, although we didn't exactly spend the rest of the drive in silence, the conversation was at least less infuriating, focusing a bit more on Amanda's trip and how weird her family is (apparently it's hereditary).
The moment I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, Amanda started to unbuckle her seatbelt. By the time I was out of the car, she was halfway up the stairs to our apartment. Damn, that girl's fast.
"Hey, wait up a second!" I ran up the stairs, stopping her just as she started to take out her key. She gave me a questioning glance, and I explained. "These guys... they don't know you, and I don't know how they'd react if you... yeah."
"Huh... alright, sure." Amanda shrugged and stood back, shifting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
I pulled out my own key and slid it into the lock, bracing myself as I pushed the door open and tentatively called, "Hey, guys, I'm- oof!"
"Oof" was not originally what I'd meant to say, but it's hard to focus on eloquence when a man
six inches taller and about sixty pounds heavier than me is in the process of crashing into me at high speeds.
"Christie-san! You're back!" You guessed it – Tobi.
"Yes, Tobi. I'm back. Now would you please get off!" I wriggled out of his grip, pushing him away. I tried in vain to regain my composure, a difficult task, especially with Amanda laughing her butt off a few feet away.
"Very terrifying criminal you've got there, Chris," she snickered.
"Shut up," I muttered, dusting my sleeves off and trying to somehow force down the redness that I was sure was visible on my face.
Noticing Tobi's confused expression (well, confused-looking posture, anyway. Expressions are hard to recognize on him, with the mask and all), I sighed and turned to Amanda. "Amanda, this is Tobi. Tobi, this is my roommate, Amanda."
"Nice to meet you, Amanda-san!" Tobi announced cheerily, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously.
Amanda stifled another giggle. "Nice to meet you, too, Tobi," she replied, grinning.
Tobi bounced ahead, apparently eager to introduce Amanda to the rest of the group. She lagged behind slightly to talk to me.
"So... are they all like that?" she whispered to me.
I shook my head. "Far from it," I informed her. "Most of them are kind of jerks."
She grinned and glanced ahead at Tobi. "Christie, I think we've talked about your standards for what counts as 'kind of a jerk.'"
"And what's wrong with having standards?"
"Nothing, it's just that yours are a bit too-" Suddenly she froze, staring ahead.
I looked around in confusion, before figuring out where she was focused. I eventually identified the source as being the couch, where Deidara and Hidan were in the middle of a heated debate about... I don't know, something about scythes versus clay, or something nonsensical like that. Itachi stood by calmly, apparently more focused on the book he was reading than on his arguing affiliates.
I turned to Amanda, trying to figure out what had caused her... interesting response to the guys. Maybe she had recognized them from a news report about an asylum escape? That seemed like the most likely option, actually.
My thought process was rudely shattered when Amanda pulled me aside, staring at me intensely with wide, blue eyes. I was just about to ask what this was all about when she told me, sounding more serious than I had heard her in quite a while.
"Christie," she said, "When you told me there were a bunch of criminals in our apartment, why didn't you tell me that some of them were hot?"
What the hell? For a moment, I could only stare at her, gaping like a fish (or some equally confused-looking animal). Finally, I gained my speaking abilities back.
"You.. I... they're what?" Okay, so I sort of got them back.
"What, you mean, you haven't noticed?" Amanda demanded, glancing excitedly back at the guys on the couch. "Really, Christie?"
"No, I haven't noticed!" For a moment, my mind shot back to that first night – the way I couldn't take my eyes off Itachi once I saw him, Kisame and Hidan standing around shirtlessly in the living room, even Deidara with his bright blue eyes and long, golden hair. Shut up, mind.
"B-Besides," I stuttered, hoping the shadows in the corner of the room would hide the redness rising in my cheeks (second time in one day, yippee). "That wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind when they showed up."
Amanda sighed, pulling away. "I guess not," she replied.
"Besides," I added, "that's just three of them. You haven't seen Sharkboy and Zombieman yet."
My roommate laughed, walking toward the couch, and waving for me to follow. "Can't wait," she said. "Anyway, I think it's your job to introduce me now."
A/N: About time Amanda showed up. Heh heh, Christie is in denial... Oh, by the way, there is a new illustration link in my profile; it's kind of old now, but I'm working on a newer one soon.
As usual, please read and review!