When Kurt woke up the next morning, Sunday morning, he felt weird again. Something wasn't right. There was something between his legs and -
Kurt sat up, running one hand over his now-flat chest, while the other cupped his very external genitalia. Heart beating loudly in excitement, Kurt scrambled out of bed to look at himself in the mirror, crying out in joy when he saw the masculine cast of his features, returned from wherever they'd gone. His hair was a little too long, but that was easily fixed.
Without even a knock, someone barged into Kurt's room, asking, "Are you okay, Kurt?" It was Finn, with Puck right behind him, trying to see around the taller guy. Stopping short, Finn asked, "What?"
"I'm a boy again!" Kurt cried with a grin, feeling comfortable in his skin for the first time in a little over a week. "I'm back!"
"Alright!" Finn smiled, giving Kurt a high-five while Kurt's dad came in to investigate the commotion they were making.
"Wha-how'd this happen, buddy?" Burt asked, stepping forward and putting both hands on Kurt's shoulders as if to get a good long look at him.
"I don't kn-" Kurt tried to say, but he was cut off by Puck loudly clearing his throat. Was Puck implying he had something to do with putting Kurt back to normal? Did he have something to do with it? In any case, Kurt wasn't going to tell his father that he'd had sex with Noah Puckerman in the bathroom while everyone else was asleep. Giving Puck a hard glare before turning a smile toward his dad, Kurt shrugged and insisted, "I have no idea. I just woke up normal."
"That's great, son," Burt beamed, pulling Kurt into a tight hug. "I was trying to get used to you as a girl, but this - this is you. My boy!"
Kurt had to struggle away from the happy tears that threatened to fall, especially when Carole came in and hugged him, too. Finn patted Kurt on the shoulder before leaving to get dressed, and Puck stayed behind, nodding to Kurt's parents as they passed him on their way from the room.
When they were alone, Puck said, "You're welcome," in a very careful tone, like he was trying not to come off as angry.
"If this is your doing," Kurt replied, gesturing to his body, "then thank you. Seriously." Taking a chance, Kurt took one of Puck's hands and squeezed it in gratitude. "Because of you, I can go back to Dalton and back to Blaine. I get my whole life back!"
Puck opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then he just pulled his hand away and shook his head, saying, "Yeah. Have fun with that," as he left the room. A few minutes later, the front door opened and closed and Kurt wondered if he'd said something wrong.
It wasn't like what they had done together meant anything, was it? It was just comfort. Distraction. A way for Puck to get off. Then why did Kurt have the sinking feeling that the night before, when Puck said he would stick by his girlfriend, even if she became a boy, he wasn't speaking abstractly?
Trying to put the enigma of Puck out of his mind, Kurt got himself ready for the day. He had a last-minute haircut to arrange, a boyfriend to surprise, and a week's worth of Dalton homework to catch up on.
Blaine wouldn't pick up his phone, so right after getting a haircut (at the cheap salon in the mall, ugh) Kurt drove over to Blaine's house. There were a few cars in the driveway, so Kurt was reasonably sure that someone was home. Parking his car on the street, Kurt couldn't keep himself from practically jogging to the door, pressing the door bell excitedly.
As luck would have it, Blaine answered the door, his face going slack with surprise when he saw Kurt. "Ta da!" he announced softly, with a grin and a flourish. "I'm back to normal!"
"What did you-?" Blaine started to ask, stepping a little closer and peering under Kurt's chin at the Adam's apple there. "How did you do this?"
"I don't know," Kurt insisted, even if it was a slight bending of the truth. "But I woke up this way. Isn't it great?"
"Yeah," Blaine said carefully, though his smile grew bigger and bigger by the second. "Yeah, it's-" Blaine pulled Kurt into a tight hug, his voice thick as he said, "I thought I'd lost you, Kurt. I thought this you was gone forever." Kurt heard the tears in Blaine's voice and it made his eyes burn with tears as well.
"I'll never say goodbye to you," Kurt promised, feeling like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
It took a few weeks of trips to the movies and the mall and out for coffee for Kurt and Blaine to get used to each other again. It took holding hands forever and sweet kisses and gradual make out sessions, but eventually Kurt and his boyfriend had sex for a second time. It was nice and romantic, if a little hurried because they were in the backseat of Kurt's car, and Kurt's heart swelled with love for the boy beside him. It felt almost overwhelming in the best way possible and he knew he was back where he was supposed to be.
Kurt dropped Blaine off at his house before heading home himself, disappointed that they couldn't spend the night together, like they had before.
Kurt wasn't so disappointed when he woke up changed. Again. "Fuck," he whispered to himself, brushing one of his cheeks as he stared at his mirror in the early morning light.
It had happened again. Kurt had switched genders again, just when he thought he was back to normal and could put all this behind him. "Katrina" had moved back to Bangladesh or wherever she was supposed to be from. This couldn't be happening again.
But maybe there was a way to fix it. All Kurt would have to do was sleep with Puck again, right? It was simple, if only he could convince Puck to do it. The past few weeks, the boy had been pretty distant and Kurt just stopped thinking about him, because every time it felt uncomfortable.
However, Kurt was desperate to change back before anyone saw him, before anyone knew that Kurt's gender was still in a state of flux, and that it had something to do with sex.
Leaving a note on the kitchen counter that said he was jogging at the park and then going to Mercedes' to spend at least a few hours helping her with her solos for Nationals, Kurt slipped out of the house. He texted Mercedes as he got in his car, long hair carefully hidden under a fabulous hat, and promised her anything she wanted to cover for him.
Then, he drove over to Puck's. Kurt had been to the Puckerman household only to pick up or drop off Finn, but he knew which room was Puck's and he was glad to see the window open. There was a trellis under his window, and the crushed ivy and scuff-marks on the white paint told Kurt that Noah must have used it as a ladder on more than one occasion - probably when sneaking out to go get drunk or sex up a desperate cheerleader. Well now Kurt was the desperate girl and he wasn't waiting for Puck to come to him.
Looking around to make sure no one was watching this early on a Sunday, Kurt began climbing the trellis, thanking Gaga that his girl-self seemed to have a reasonable amount of upper body strength, even if he had to use his legs to do most of the climbing. At the top of the trellis, Kurt refused to look down, climbing through Puck's window as quietly as possible, since Puck was still asleep.
The boy looked ... surprisingly innocent when he was asleep - no knowing smirk, no angry scowl, no toothy smile. Just, Noah, plain and simple. It made it easier for Kurt to strip off his clothes and climb into bed next to the boy, praying he wouldn't be rejected.
Carefully, he kissed Puck's shoulder, breathing in the heady scent of his skin and shuddering at the memories it contained. He still didn't wake up, so Kurt let his hand play over Puck's side, stroking the skin until he made his way down to the boy's hip. Maybe if he woke up hard, he'd be more willing to go through with the plan...
Except, as Kurt reached for Puck and brushed him through the boxers he was wearing, Kurt could feel that he was already hard. Morning wood, he guessed, stroking lightly so Puck snuffled and then moaned a little in his sleep. Kurt inched a little closer and kissed Puck on the lips as he stroked slightly harder.
"Mmm?" Puck murmured against Kurt's lips, opening his eyes sleepily. "Oh, s'you. Like these dreams."
"You do?" Kurt whispered, taking his chances and kissing the boy again. He tasted a little stale, but strongly like Puck and it made Kurt breathe harshly through his nose as he felt his inner thighs get wet. Trying to emulate whatever dream-version of "Kat" that Puck had cooked up, he asked, "How do you want me?"
"Don' care, baby," Puck replied, his eyes shut and his arms wrapped around Kurt, pulling him close so Puck's cock was digging into his lower belly. "Just stick around this time, Kurt," Puck continued, burying his face in Kurt's hair.
Then he took a sharp breath and pulled back, clear eyed and conscious. "I'm not dreaming, am I?"
Kurt wanted to lie, wanted to tell Puck he was dreaming and to just get on with it, but he couldn't. Not with Puck looking at him like all he wanted, please, was the truth. Kurt shook his head.
With a disappointed little noise, Puck released his arms from around Kurt and sat up, forcing Kurt to back off as well. Kurt grew anxious as Puck just kept looking at him with a frown, like he was trying to figure Kurt out.
Lamely, Kurt grew embarrassed under Puck's gaze and blushed, covering his chest with his arms and mumbling, "I'm sorry. I just thought maybe..."
"Maybe what?" Puck asked and Kurt wished his voice wasn't so monotone. "Maybe I'd sleep with you again? Give you back your cock or whatever? And then what?"
Feeling like a complete asshole, Kurt murmured, "And then nothing."
"Exactly, dude," Puck sighed. "If you want a guy to fuck your dick back where it belongs, find someone else. I ain't doin' it again."
"Oh," Kurt replied dumbly, feeling his cheeks heat up even further as he reached for his shirt on the floor.
"I mean, don't get me wrong, Kurt," Puck continued, pulling Kurt back up to look at him. "I fucking dream about this every night. That doesn't mean I have to put up with your shit just to get laid."
Kurt wasn't sure how to respond. Who had ever heard of Noah Puckerman turning down sex? A guilty weight sank in the pit of Kurt's stomach and he had to look up at the ceiling so he wouldn't start crying. He was stuck as a girl again and he could only blame himself.
Sniffling, Kurt nodded and continued getting dressed, pulling on his underwear and pants. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't think. I'll just go somewhere and die now."
Standing up, Puck grabbed Kurt by the shoulders and hissed, "Don't even joke about that, dude. Look, it's easy. Just dump the prep-school kid and be with me. I swear, Puckzilla will make you so glad you're alive."
Kurt couldn't help but laugh a little at Puck's ego, but he still felt sick over what he had done to Puck without realizing. "I'll ... um, I'll think about it," Kurt promised, stepping into his shoes and brushing his hair away from his face.
He was about to climb out the window when Puck pulled him back and murmured, "Think about this," right before pressing his lips harshly against Kurt's, swallowing him up in a kiss full of desperation and maybe hope.
Heart beating in overtime and hands shaky, queasy stomach forgotten, Kurt pulled back from the kiss, looking up at Puck's face. He saw it then, what he hadn't seen before, the emotion written all over Puck's cynical face. Puck loved him. Loved him as a girl, anyway.
"Will you still look at me like this when I'm a boy?" he asked, not stopping himself from touching the side of Puck's face as he nodded. The sincerity there made Kurt's eyes tear up again and he did the only thing he could think of. He ran.
Kurt ran as far as Blaine's house, parking at the end of the drive and picking up his phone. He stared at it for a long time, thinking. He couldn't be with Blaine the way he wanted. Not when he kept turning into this. At the same time, how could he let the boy go?
If it meant getting his real body back, how could he not?
Hands heavy and eyes tearing up again, Kurt sent a text letting Blaine know he was outside and to come meet him.
Why can't you come in? Blaine texted almost ten minutes later, when Kurt was about to start the engine again and drive who-knows-where.
You'll see, Kurt replied, hating the way his hands shook and his throat felt swollen and achy.
Just a few minutes later, Blaine sat in the seat next to Kurt's and said softly, "There you are."
"I'm not who you want," Kurt sighed, turning away from his boyfriend and crossing his arms under his breasts.
"Kurt," Blaine tried again, laying a hand on Kurt's elbow. "I'm sorry this keeps happening. What can I do to help?"
"Nothing," Kurt replied truthfully. "I can't be who you need, Blaine."
"Hey, you changed back before," Blaine pointed out, grabbing Kurt's hand. "You'll change back again. Maybe it's just a time thing, Kurt. It took about a week before. We just have to wait it out until-"
"It's not," Kurt admitted, pulling his hand away from Blaine's. "It's not an issue of time, Blaine. I know what changed me back before."
Scrunching up his brow in confusion, Blaine asked, "What? You didn't just wake up better?"
Kurt blushed and admitted, "I slept with someone else. The next morning I was male again."
Blaine froze for a few seconds before sitting back in his seat. "Who?"
"Does it matter?" Kurt asked, fiddling with the keychain hanging from the ignition. "You and I are obviously not meant to be."
Frowning, Blaine asked, "All this time? Why didn't you tell me before? Why did you make me think...?" He huffed, like he was trying not to get angry and failing horribly.
"I just wanted things to go back to the way they were," Kurt admitted. "It was silly and selfish, I admit."
"Yeah, it was," Blaine snapped, rubbing his face with his hand. "I loved you, Kurt and you-"
"We were broken up, weren't we?" Kurt replied, needing Blaine to just get out of the car and walk away before things got any worse.
"When?" Blaine asked. "When did we ever break up?"
Kurt's mouth dropped in horror. He'd been so sure that when Blaine said he couldn't be with Kurt, that it meant they were no longer together. "You thought it was just a fight?" he mused out loud.
This sick sort of realization spread across Blaine's face as his jaw clenched in anger, "That was less than a day... You know what?" he said, his words clipped brutally as he opened the car door. "You're right. We're not meant to be. Have a nice life, Kurt."
Kurt found the worst thing about Blaine walking away from the car wasn't the sobs that overwhelmed him or the pain of losing a boyfriend, or even the guilt over what he had done. It was the absolute certainty that he was losing one of his best friends, maybe the best friend he'd ever had, and there was no one to blame but himself. Not even his stupid, fucking condition.