WARNING: It's usually my policy to not post any chapters of a story until the entire thing is completed. However, I've been working on this on and off for several years now and I've only finished two chapters thus far. So instead of waiting and letting this languish on my hard drive where no one can see it for who knows how much longer, I've decided to break my rule and post what I have. Maybe I'll update quickly, maybe I won't. It's entirely possible that I may never even finish the tale, but whatever happens I hope you all enjoy what I do have.
Now I return you to your regularly scheduled author's notes.
AN: All right... This is going to be my first real attempt at writing a multichapter fic that's not a collection of loosely related oneshots. It's based on a killer idea kindly donated to me eons ago by musicfreak16. ("What if Lloyd found out about what really happens to the Chosen at the end of the Journey of Regeneration much earlier and had more time to bug Colette about it?") So thanks, I hope you like how it turned out!
Oh, and I want everyone to know right from the start: This is going to be an AU, and it's going to be an AU very soon. Dig it!
Tomorrow... They were going to the Tower of Salvation tomorrow. Colette could hardly believe the journey was almost over. She was standing at the top of Hima, the top of the world, staring out over the land she would save, and she only had one night to enjoy it. One last night before...
"The final step in regenerating the world is that Colette will ascend to heaven and become a vessel for Martel." Raine explained, quiet and respectful as if she was speaking about a person already long dead.
"A vessel?" They still didn't understand.
"When that happens, Martel's spirit will take over Colette's body and the Colette we know will...Cease to be." The party went silent. Raine bowed her head as Lloyd, Genis, and Sheena- The ones who hadn't known what was coming- Realized the seriousness of the situation.
How was she supposed to feel about this? Colette never wanted Lloyd to know. His fantasy of her becoming an angel, flying up to heaven, and watching over him and everyone else alongside the Goddess; that was the kind of legacy she wanted to leave her friends with. Not death. Still, letting them wait to find out until the very end... That would have hurt them even more. Lloyd and the others, they deserved to know the truth, no matter how painful it was.
"W-What are you saying, Professor? What are you talking like there's no other option? In order to regenerate the world, Colette has to die. Are you really okay with that?" Lloyd shook as he yelled at Raine. Colette had never seen him so sad and angry before, not even when they learned how Exspheres were made.
"Of course I'm not okay with it!" A pained look flashed across Raine's face. "Lloyd, do you really think I would be so heartless?" Lloyd seemed to deflate.
"No, but... We have to chose between Colette and the world? That's no choice at all! There's got to be another way, some way we could save everyone without sacrificing Colette."
Lloyd... That was just like him. Colette sat down on the edge of the mountain and let her legs dangle over the side. Oh how things change. Weeks ago she wouldn't have dreamed of coming so close to the brink for fear of tripping, but now there was nothing to worry about thanks to her wings. Weeks ago she had been more than willing to fulfill her duty, but now, for the first time ever, she had questions, all thanks to Lloyd.
The Regeneration, saving the world, was that really all there was for her? Was sixteen years well-lived enough? Sixteen years of peace with a loving family, one last incredible journey across the world surrounded by friends... Maybe it was. A pampered life of luxury, that's what she had always lived in Iselia as the Chosen. Always told of the suffering of the people of Sylvarant but wanting for nothing herself. So what if she was never allowed outside the village before the journey? So what if she'd never been able to go with Genis and Lloyd when they played tag in the woods or went swimming? That didn't mean she missed out on a childhood. And what did it matter if she never got to fall in love, get married, and raise a family? There would be no chance for that, even if she didn't sacrifice herself at the Tower. She was still a part of the Lineage of Mana, if she survived her marriage would be arranged for her by the Church of Martel.
The journey was the best option, the only option, just like the church elders had always told her. But... Lloyd's idea, his third possibility that no one had to be sacrificed echoed in her mind. Maybe there really was another way to carry out the Regeneration, but the Church of Martel stopped looking for it after using Chosens for so long. If they could find that other way, then maybe she could have those things that she had always dismissed as being "not for her." Freedom to come and go as she pleased, a first love, a family, maybe even a yard full of dogs. A life of her own beyond what the church expected from her. It would be wonderful! If only they could find that mysterious way to save everyone; but the elders always said... No.
No. She knew what she had to do. Tomorrow at the Tower of Salvation she would go up to the altar and do what was best, for Sylvarant and for her. She would-
Colette looked up, away from the nighttime vista spread out before her. She had heard something, footsteps. The heavy crunch of someone trekking uphill over grit and gravel-covered bedrock floated through the quiet night air. Colette knew, thanks to her heightened senses, that whoever it was walking around down there was only about halfway up the path from the inn; so she waited, listening as the steps grew louder and other sounds became audible. A steady heartbeat and unlabored breathing, even after hiking halfway up the mountain, that person was in good shape and close by. Probably just a few steps away from the summit. Colette took a deep breath. It was probably just Lloyd or Kratos coming to check on her, not another assassin.
"Colette, there you are! I've been looking all over for you." Lloyd hurried over, jogging the last few yards and glancing around the empty mountaintop before taking a seat on the edge next to her. "Hey, where are the dragons?"
Colette smiled and took his hand. She had been expecting a last-minute plea from him, and she would likely hear it soon, but for the moment it seemed like Lloyd's curiosity had gotten the better of him. (Not that she could blame him. She wondered the same thing when she first reached the summit and spent a few minutes watching the dragons sleep at the rental shop.)
"'T-H-E-Y'R-E I-N T-H-E-I-R S-T-A-B-L-E F-O-R T-H-E N-I-G-H-T.' Really?" Lloyd looked a little shocked when Colette nodded. "I didn't know dragons had stables. They're like big, scaly horses!" Colette grinned and started tracing in his hand again. "'Y-E-A-H! D-I-D Y-O-U K-N-O-W T-H-E-Y S-H-O-O-T F-I-R-E F-R-O-M T-H-E-I-R N-O-S-E-S W-H-E-N T-H-E-Y S-N-O-R-E?' No way, that's really cool!" Lloyd paused. "Do you think they might accidentally burn the stable down by snoring?"
Colette shrugged and they fell into a comfortable silence, both turning back to look out over the countryside, and at the Tower of Salvation, looming off in the distance. It was still the same tower and symbol of hope they had been questing for, but in the dark it seemed different. Ominous. As if the night and fleeting time had infused it with every doubt they collected over the entire journey. It was daunting, it was forbidding, and, Colette sighed at the thought, it was going to remind Lloyd of why he came up to talk to her in the first place. Gazing at the Tower, he was quiet for a moment longer, then...
"Colette... Are you sure this is what you want?"
Always asking the easy questions, aren't you Lloyd? But it was all right. She had been asking herself the same question, after all, and she had an answer. Nodding and taking Lloyd's hand once again, she wrote out her answer.
"'Y-E-S, I'-M S-U-R-E. I'-V-E B-E-E-N T-H-I-N-K-I-N-G A-B-O-U-T I-T A L-O-T A-N-D I K-N-O-W W-H-A-T I'-M G-O-I-N-G T-O D-O, S-O D-O-N'-T W-O-R-R-Y, L-L-O-Y-D.' Don't worry? My friend might kill herself tomorrow, I can't help but be worried!" Lloyd shifted his hands from being held to holding Colette's. "We don't have to go tomorrow. Please Colette, just take a few more days to think about it. You don't have to throw your life away!"
As he said the words, the strangest look flashed across Colette's face. Lloyd didn't know what to think. It wasn't like she had stuck her tongue out or made a funny face, but that look was not a 'Colette' expression. It looked more like that face Genis would make when describing a particularly intricate prank. He watched her carefully as she twisted her hand out of his grasp and started writing.
"'D-O Y-O-U T-R-U-S-T M-E, L-L-O-Y-D?' Yeah, of course." He looked up to see a small, confident grin on her face. "'T-H-E-N D-O-N'-T W-O-R-R-Y.'"
AN: Poor Colette... Contrary to popular belief, the Chosen is actually capable of forming complex thoughts. It just so happens she's capable of being painfully ditzy too... Anyway, please try to remember that Colette's not entirely blond. She can think and form opinions just like the rest of us.