A/N Sorry this took so long; I try to publish one chapter a week. If it's any consolation, I've been working on a chapter fic for my new favorite anime obsession: Hunter x Hunter. I'll keep publishing this story but after that, I'll be writing for Hunter x Hunter for a while. Sorry for all you YYH fans, but I promise this HxH fic will be good, and if you haven't checked out the anime or manga, I'd advise it. It's Togashi at his best (at least for the first four story arcs).
Yusuke cast one final concerned look in Kurama's direction before leaving with Hokushin. Kurama made a good show of waving cheerily to him as he departed, but still Yusuke could not deny the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach or the dark shadow lingering behind that smiling face. He couldn't bear the thought that this might be the last time he ever saw the strong and steadfast Kurama. He was always at his side, through the worst of battles, even when all of his other friends had abandoned him. He had seen the fighter survive impossible odds. Ever since he had met Kurama and even long before, he had been a survivor. He had had the presence of mind to seal his dying soul within the body of an unborn baby in order to survive a mortal wound before Yusuke even breathed his first breath. Since then, he had endured sacrificing his life for his mother, being stabbed in the chest on several different occasions, ice knives headed for his throat, the beating of a lifetime, age reversal, being surrounded by exploding bombs, defeating the invincible, and a death match with the world's most powerful human. Had he survived it all just to lose his life now?
As he walked away from Gandera, he felt as if he were walking away from one of his most important friendships. Turning his back on the city was like turning his back on a friend. There was a darkness about the dull, metal buildings of the city. It was cold and unfeeling like its king. If Yomi had any mercy, it would come as a shock to Yusuke. One did not get to be the king of Demon World by sparing the lives of those who crossed him. He was uneasy, but evidently Hokushin didn't seem to notice.
"That was reckless, sir," he stated, oblivious to Yusuke's distress. Yusuke spared him a sidelong glance, not really listening to the scolding. He had long ago learned to tune out the sounds of a lecture.
"I cannot believe you would waltz into the enemy's stronghold and propose such a haphazard scheme with no one to enforce your will!" he continued to rail.
"Look, you saw what happened; they backed me up! Plus Mukuro agreed. Everything turned out fine, so stop complaining," Yusuke huffed, finally fed up with his rant.
"There was no way for you to know that he would agree, nor for you to know that your former comrades would aid you…" Hokushin continued, unfazed. Yusuke rolled his eyes.
"Look, Hokushin, this is just the way I roll," Yusuke admitted flippantly, waving away his chiding. "I don't think, but everything always ends up okay in the end…"
Yusuke shrugged, looking to all the world as if the weight if his decision did not rest heavily upon his shoulders.
"Sir, do really think that this will work out as planned?" Hokushin inquired dubiously, eyeing his young king.
"Oh, come on, this won't go as planned, cuz I didn't plan anything…" Yusuke laughed, a lopsided grin on his boyish face.
Hokushin stopped in his tracks, gaping at his companion. He opened and closed his mouth several times.
"Problem, Fish Face?" Yusuke questioned cheekily. They were outside of the city walls now. A large plain stood before them, nothing but green grass as far as the eye could see. With a pang, Yusuke realized that this reminded him terribly of Kurama. From what he saw, there was no vegetation within Gandera. Yusuke wondered if that was done purposefully…
Hohushin finally regained his composure after many more minutes of foolish balking. "You…you mean to tell me that you…just thought a tournament would…?"
Unable to finish his sentence, Yusuke stepped in to help him, "Look, the ruler of Demon World should be the strongest guy out there. Soldiers dying shouldn't decide who wins. This way no one has to give their life for some stupid cause they might not believe in."
Hokushin continued to blink balefully at his now former king. "You would willingly surrender all of your power for the slim chance that you will win this tournament?"
Yusuke snorted derisively at this, "Please, I don't intend to win and become king."
Hokushin's eyes widened at this, "But, sir, your birthright…"
Yusuke rolled his eyes and leveled a glare at his follower, replying exasperatedly, "Just because the old man croaked and left me in charge doesn't mean I'm the best man for the job. Look at me; I can't even manage myself let alone an entire world." Besides, this isn't even my world, he added in his head.
"I do not approve. We did not go to all of the trouble of training you, only to have you give up what you are rightfully entitled to…" he fussed scathingly.
"I'm entitled to jack squat. Just cuz Raizen, who happened to be a king, got fresh with a human an extremely long time ago, and I rolled down the shute, doesn't mean I deserve to be royalty or nothin'," Yusuke disagreed obstinately.
"This is a huge gamble. One we can't afford to lose. Someone much worse than that soulless tyrant Mukuro or that despicable bureaucrat Yomi, could take charge," insisted the distraught monk.
"Unless some ultra strong demons have been hiding in a hole somewhere for the last several thousand years, they would have kicked some asses and become kings already. Relax, one of the two of them will be king, I'm sure. The devil you know and all that…" he insisted peevishly.
Hokushin looked mutinous, but he did not make any further comments. Yusuke spared a glance back before the city was out of sight. I hope you're alright, Kurama…
Kurama watched Yusuke leave with a heavy heart. He knew he had done the right thing, yet it had hurt him to betray Yomi's trust…yet again. He hadn't felt this way the first time. He had done what needed to be done, then. Yomi was merely a tool, something to use in order to gain power. His farmer station as second in command to his band of thieves was just his standing in their ranks as the second strongest fighter to himself. It had nothing to do with his thieving prowess; Yomi was too hopelessly hotheaded to ever be stealthy. The trust between them was purely one sided. Yomi trusted Kurama to keep them all safe, and Kurama trusted Yomi to put them all in danger. It hadn't fazed Kurama one bit to order his assassination. He was cold then, he cared for nothing and no one above himself. Now, he was different. What he had done to Yomi in the past troubled him now, and he had just added another load to the burden currently weighing him down.
They truly were opposites in every conceivable way. Where Kurama was quiet and pensive, Yomi was loud and ignorant. Where Kurama was calm and collected, Yomi was brash and scattered. Kurama schemed, and like a loose cannon, Yomi's destroyed even the most carefully laid plans. At least that was how it was. Yomi had adopted Kurama's demeanor in his absence. Where the younger Yomi would have slew him where he stood for such an act of treason, the new Yomi let him stew in his guilt. Waiting…waiting for the opportune moment to enact his slow and tortuous retribution. Kurama had been spared once; it was a fool's hope to wish to be spared once more.
It was truly remarkable how much two people can change in the span of a thousand years, for better or for worse. While Yomi had steadily became more and more like the old Kurama, to the point that he now resembled a pale shadow of the heartless demon Kurama once was, Kurama, too, had evolved. He had learned different lessons than Yomi, lessons on compassion and honor. He had learned what was important to fight for, while Yomi had only learned how to fight. It seemed like even in this, Kurama was five steps ahead of the younger demon. Perhaps, he, too, would learn what Kurama did, if given time. Perhaps, that is why he had come to Yomi. The threat in his family was something he could have dealt with, so why did he stay? Did he have hope for the misguided demon, is that why he stays still?
He hadn't hesitated to come to Yusuke's aid, but he had not anticipated the amount of regret he would feel upon doing so. He had been relieved when his six fighters had agreed to take Yusuke's side, but he had also been a little worried, for he had realized that his loyalty to Yusuke and his loyalty to Yomi were not mutually exclusive. If Yusuke had had a mind to attack Yomi, he would not have hesitated to stop him, either. It was only to protect the other that he would betray either of them.
Had he come to care for Yomi? No…he wouldn't put it that way. This new Yomi unsettled him. It was like looking into a warped mirror, the way he saw himself reflected onto this changed demon. He acted like his youko side did. Coldly calculating, heartless and amoral, yet ambitious and cruel. But his past self reminded him of Yusuke. Brash and bold, hothead, battle hungry and never thinking before acting. Would Kurama have done the same to Yusuke if it had been he who was his lieutenant all those centuries ago? But that didn't matter, Kurama had changed. Yomi, too, had changed…changed into a man resembling the old Kurama. If Kurama could change for the better, so, too, could Yomi. But he feared there was far too much bad blood between the two of them for him to guide Yomi down that path.
He had well and truly perpetrated evil in his long time in Demon World. He had been more than a thief; he had been a murderer and a traitor. He had killed all those who stood in his way, regardless of gender, species, or age. He slew enemy and ally alike in his quest for wealth and power. He had tried to turn his life around since meeting Yusuke, attempting to make amends for the sins of his past. He fought for Spirit World and protected the humans that had so long ago been nothing but cannon fodder to him, but even that wasn't enough. If offering his life to the one person he had wronged most could atone for what he had done…then he would gladly forfeit it.
Lost in thought as he was he didn't realize his name was being called.
"KURAMA!" Touya practically yelled, waving his hand in front of Kurama's face in an effort to get his attention. Kurama blinked several times at the shorter man and shook his head slightly to clear it.
"Forgive me, Touya. You were saying?" Kurama said politely, his full attention on the ice demon before him.
Touya's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I said if we wish to have an audience with Yomi we should do so now. It is unwise to keep him waiting."
Kurama sighed deeply at this, taking a deep breath and steeling himself. This would be the hard part. "I'm afraid that I will be going in to see him alone..."
As he had suspected, his revelation was met with riotous disapproval. Chu slurred an amalgamation of indistinguishable curse words, and Rinku whined petulantly. Suzuki said something about the outcome of this definitely not being beautiful, and Shishiwakamaru only stared blankly at him. Jin fell gracelessly to the ground, wind no longer supporting him, and Touya leveled a frigid glare his way.
"Kurama…" Touya began chillingly, his voice a dangerously low growl.
Kurama waved away his complaint with an errant hand. "Yomi wishes to see me and me alone. Even if you accompanied me, you would be stopped at the door by the palace guard."
"This is foolishness…" Suzuki started this time, looking uncharacteristically serious.
"Cop on!" Jin shouted (A/N Irish slang for you must be joking).
Kurama only smiled slightly at this, their concern warming his heart despite himself. He continued lightly, as if he were speaking of the weather instead of his impending doom, "If he was to kill me, he would make a public spectacle of it…he would show his people what happens to those who embarrass him. You have nothing to worry about…" The unspoken "yet" hung heavy in the air between them. "Please, gather your belongings while I speak to the king…"
All six fighters made to protest, but Kurama held up a hand to halt the flow protestations. "Listen, prepare yourselves for departure and meet me by the gates in an hour," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Touya looked mutinous but motioned for the others to follow him to their chambers, regardless. In truth, telling them to pack was a very transparent excuse with which to dismiss them. None of them had actually packed anything save for Chu's alcohol, and Suzuki's wardrobe. Touya resolved to slip away unnoticed and follow Kurama. He was not fooled for a moment; Kurama never planned to walk out of this city alive.
"Your noble friend appears to have a latent death wish," Mukuro observed. She and Hiei rested atop a tall skyscraper in the center of the city. From their perch, the two of them had witnessed the exchange between the group and Yusuke as well as the internal dispute between Kurama and his fighters.
"He was always a fool, a more intelligent fool than most, but a fool nonetheless," Hiei commented dryly, staring at the retreating red head as if that by staring alone he could will some sense into that thick head.
"I'm curious about this strange demon. He is the closest thing you have to a best friend, after all. Wouldn't you like to see him?" Mukuro asked lightly, looking at her once second in command.
"Do what you like. I'm not stopping you," he muttered indifferently, looking away from Mukuro's bandaged face. She could only smile inwardly at her ornery companion, knowing full well he wanted nothing more than to give his friend a piece of his mind.
She flitted down to the cold, hard ground of Gandera, Hiei by her side, and directly into the path of the red haired spirit fox. He looked startled to see them at first, then quickly smoothed his features into polite surprise. He inclined his head in difference to Mukuro and smiled wanly to Hiei.
"Quite the gambit Mr. Urameshi had in store, wouldn't you agree, Kurama?" Mukuro asked in her eerie falsetto.
"I must admit that I am surprised you accepted, Lord Mukuro, and I am grateful, as well. Had you not been here to wage war, Yomi's military force would have had ample opportunity to destroy us all. For you must have realized that the only reason he accepted was that he would have to expend his army in the attempt to crush this little coup, only to turn around with weakened forces and be defeated by your army at his doorstep," Kurama offered, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes as if Yomi's destruction still held some fleeting fancy of his.
"I find this to be far more fulfilling than open war…more exciting. I also think this Urameshi has guts to offer such a bold challenge," Mukuro explained. Over the years, Mukuro had felt her fire, her anger, her passion slowly wane. This was exacerbated by Hiei's arrival and the peace he brought with him. Her zest for battle was all but gone, but she felt this tournament was a way to get it back. This child could prove quite the contender. Compared to the cold and emotionless Yomi, Yusuke had a life about him…he had a fire, as well. He reminded her so of the late Raizen. It would be just like him to pull this kind of stunt. She had always respected the demon, and she could see that respect transferring to his descended.
"I think the only thin he'll be seeing is his guts before this is over…" Hiei countered derisively. Kurama couldn't help a small chuckle. Hiei was as he remembered him, sarcastic and biting.
"I'd be very surprised if Yomi doesn't kill you for this. He's lost everything…" Mukuro intoned emotionlessly, suddenly turning the conversation from light musings to heavy assumptions.
"That makes two of us…" Kurama replied, speaking the truth aloud for the first time. He allowed himself to look at Hiei as he said this, regret in his jade eyes. But Hiei seemed to see his regret and draw great anger from it. He puffed himself up and finally let loose the torrent of rage and resentment that he had been shielding since he had heard Kurama intended to stay.
"So, you really are more of a fool than I ever thought you were…" Hiei began, his words acid meant to corrode. Kurama blinked at him, taken aback by his sudden vehemence. "You have no reason to face him now. Risking your life to defy him is just like you! You're forever walking to your death, head held high… If you didn't have an apparent death wish, you wouldn't fool around when you fight, and you'd just cut your opponent to pieces. I think you really are tempting fate into giving your opponent the opportunity to end you. Why else would someone so smart be so dense?" He railed, hitting his stride and gaining furious momentum with every word he spoke. He had been burring these thoughts for years. He knew Kurama better than anyone, and he could not hide anything from him, try as he might. The first time he saw Kurama fight he noticed his hesitation, his reluctance to engage. He strategized, letting his opponents get too close, letting too much harm befall him. He always managed a miraculous victory, but he always snatched it from the very jaws of defeat, clutching to life loosely yet embracing death with open arms. He sought out his own demise. It was as if he were waiting his whole life for the one that would finally end it.
"And if I did seek death would that make me so different from you?" Hiei started at this. "I sensed your energy signal vanish even from this far away…"
Hiei stared insolently at the demon before him. Where Kurama had moments ago been hesitant and abashed, he now stood proud and defiant, even cross.
"You have something to live for, fool," Hiei snapped every bit as arrogant and audacious as Kurama.
"And you don't?" he stormed, where they were long forgotten in the heat of their shouting match. Mukuro's presence, even, was either forgotten or ignored. They stood staring daggers at one another, riling at each other, in the middle of a hostile demon lord's territory. "You have a sister who loves you though you refuse to identify yourself to her and friends who would gladly give their lives for your safety and happiness!"
"I'd rather they lived for my safety and happiness!" Hiei countered, crimson glower boring into the resentful verdant glare.
"As do I," Kurama rejoined. He remembered well the pain he had felt upon feeling Hiei's energy flicker and peter out. It was as if all the breath had been stolen from his body, and the world was crashing in upon him. Hiei had always been there. Whether it was for crime or for heroics, he was there. Even when Kurama had betrayed him and gotten him arrested, he had been forgiven. From that moment on they had been side by side, fighting the good fight. He had assumed that once this was over, if he could gain the favorable outcome he had been plotting for two years, that things would go back to the way they once were. He had thought that they all would survive. Maybe he had thought them all immortal, conquerors of death. He and Yusuke had defied it so often now; it felt as if they all were beyond its icy clutches. He had been proved wrong. In those awful moments, he had truly believed that death had indeed come for revenge, but soon he felt Hiei's energy slowly pulse and flicker back into existence. It was as if the beating of his heart had been restarted in time with Hiei's own. He had wondered what could have possibly happened, but that mattered even less than why it had happened. He felt with every fiber of his being the overwhelmingly powerful emotions of relief and acceptance from Hiei by some psychic bond they shared. Hiei wasn't the only one that could welcome death. At least Kurama's death would have a purpose.
"You are impossible!" Hiei yelled, Kurama could tell that even his third eye was glaring at him. "You tell me to live when you yourself have given up!" He was beyond furious at the self-sacrificing demon standing before him, as if his own life meant so little to him.
"You don't understand. I have blood on my hands that will never wash off. I can only ever add more to it. Cleansing the blood of the innocent with the blood of the wicked is in itself more defiling. I have done things…things that the guilt of which no amount of atonement can erase. No amount of good I could ever do will make up for the lives I've stolen or destroyed…" Kurama insisted hopelessly, eyes downcast, glare dissolving into an expression of utmost grief.
"There is no one who does not carry scars on his heart." Hiei said this which such solemn earnest that it gave Kurama pause, anger fleeing from his features. "So… so, you think you'll find redemption in death…?" Hiei asked quietly with a trace of pity, his whisper barely audible.
"It is the only way…"
"There is no honor in this, no redemption. You will rot in your grave, and all the good you could do if you had lived will never be done. The only thing your death will bring with it is pain. Pain to all the people who have come to care for the person you have become, and pain to all the ones you have yet to help. Redemption is for the living, it is the path not the destination. You cannot make amends if you are dead. You see the world through jade-colored eyes, Kurama." Kurama blinked in confusion at Hiei's play on words. "You're jaded, not so much to the world around you but to yourself. You are blind to the good you have done, instead focusing on the evil which you perceive to outweigh the other. You need only divorce yourself from the past that is no longer relevant to who you are now. You once believed that there could be nobility in turning one's life around, honor in reforming one's ways. You said that to me a long time ago, and now I'm saying it to you. You brought me back from the edge, but I fear I cannot do the same for you, because you will never allow it. You can only ever save yourself. As it were, you enjoy wallowing in your guilt and self-hatred…you torture yourself far more than any outside force ever could…" Hiei's heartfelt speech ended in bitter tones of lament. As if he wished he could pull Kurama from the depth of depression that threatened to consume him. Mukuro did this for him, but he feared only Yomi's forgiveness could do the same for Kurama. "But you will do as you must, as you always have, heedless of warnings or advice from those who care for you." He finished bitterly, shaking his head. Kurama was charismatic and he felt unbelievable remorse for what he'd done. Surely Yomi, though blind, could see this. He could only hope that the world found just a bit more mercy for him, yet again.
Kurama looked simultaneously touched and staggered by what he had just heard. He opened his mouth for what Hiei was certain would be a goodbye. "Hiei—"
"No, fox, you will survive this, if there's one thing I've learned about you over the years, it's that you always survive insurmountable odds," he interrupted and with that, he vanished. Kurama did not notice Mukuro leaving as floored as he was by Hiei's stern but fervid words. He was left alone in the cold city, contemplating whether or not he had indeed made the right decision after all.