It was Monday again. Bullfrog dropped me off at school. I limp hastily away from the car. I still wasn't used to being chauffeured around everywhere. I miss not being crippled. I miss Morty. I miss Clare. Things have changed so much.
"Have a good day, son!" Bullfrog hollered. I waved my hand without turning around. I was on a mission. It was a simple task, if I couldn't be with Clare, then I would throw myself at her mercy. I need to know what I did wrong. I need to apologize, although for what, I wasn't sure. I thought we were so perfect together. I still can't wrap my head around what she's thinking being with that Jake guy. He looks like a redneck. She could do so much better. Although, I shouldn't talk. She could do better than me too. Just then, someone stepped in front of me, well, more like bounced in front of me.
"Gooooood morning Eli!" Imogen was way too peppy in the mornings.
"Hey Imogen." I said distracted. "Listen, I can't talk right now, I have somewhere to be." I scooted her out of the way with my cane. Perks of being crippled. I smiled in my head.
She moved out of the way and frowned. "But I thought we were gonna run some lines today?" Her voice trailed off as I limped passed her and arrived at my locker. I open it and begin grabbing my books for my first class of the day, English. I pause for a moment to admire the cleanliness of my locker. I owe it all to Clare. I look up to grab my English book, and a gold watch falls down. The watch Clare saved from her parents' nasty divorce and gave to me. I bend down to pick it up off the ground. I stare at it in my hands. "I want you to have it. I need to get rid of some stuff too." She smiled and handed it back to me. I smiled at the watch thinking of the memories it gave me. A hand nudged me on the shoulder.
"Dude? The bell just rang. We're gonna be late for class." Adam said cautiously. He knew who's watch it was.
I didn't acknowledge him as I pulled the strap of the watch over my wrist, and turned around to head to class. He looked at me curiously, but didn't say another word. We entered English class and I instantly saw Clare. Since the breakup, she's been sitting on the opposite side of the room. She was turned around talking to Jake who was behind her. I felt sick. Me and Adam found our seats, but the seat behind me that Clare used to calling hers was empty. I'm empty too.
Class seemed to linger on. What seemed to be thirty minutes was only three. I notice every shift in her seat. Every note passed to Jake. Every nibble of her pencil. Unbearable. The bell finally rings. I couldn't get up fast enough. I huffed and stood up hastily. Everyone in the classroom was still in their seats and staring at me but Clare's gaze was the only one I felt. Adam clear his throat behind me. I grabbed my cane and limped quickly past Clare who was still sitting in her desk. She was still watching me. Her stare burned my skin. I limped out of the room, and heard footsteps behind me.
"Adam. I really don't feel like talking right now, so you can stop following me." I growled.
"Um... okay? But I'm not Adam." It was Clare. I stopped quickly and turned around.
I leaned on my cane. "Oh. Hi Clare." I tried my best to keep my voice as casual as possible.
She looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "Hi. Um. How are you? How's your leg?"
I looked down at my cast. "Never better. I get to rock this awesome cane now." I move my hand to show off the skull attached on the top.
She attempted to smile. "That's... great Eli. Listen, I've been hearing some things about your play, and the Clara character-"
I interrupted her. "Let me guess, Imogen talked to you?"
"Yeah." She said puzzled. "How did you know?"
"Well, Imogen is a little erratic. Don't worry about her, she hasn't even read the end of the play yet."
She sighed of what looked like relief. "Okay. Good." She genuinely smiled now. I love her smile.
I smiled too. I looked down at my hand leaning on the cane, and realized I was still wearing Clare's watch. Sudden panic overwhelmed me. Should I hide it? Should I give it back? I don't know If I could give it back without creating a scene. I could try. My hoarding has be under control since Clare, but this could be the start again. I could hear myself breathing heavier and faster.
"Eli?" She sounded concerned and placed her hand on mine. "What's wrong?"
I didn't answer right away. I was too involved with my thoughts. Julia's right. I need closure. I have to give the watch back. It doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to Clare. So she can give it to Jake. I squeezed my eyes shut. I don't want Jake to have it. I know him. He just wants her innocence. I open my eyes and see her hand is still on mine. I meet her gaze.
"Clare. I think you should have this." I breath heavy as I take the watch off my wrist. "It doesn't belong to me anymore." I place it in her hand.
She looks down at the watch in her hand and stares at it for a long time. Does it give her the same happy memories as it gave me? I hope so. I watch her stare at it. Her face is unreadable.
She finally speaks. "Thank you Eli. I really appreciate you giving this back to me." I looked down. She's actually taking it back? I feel so small and insignificant that she could just squish me if she wanted to. "But, I can't take this from you." She holds out the watch in her hand waiting for me to take it.
I look up. "Clare. We're not together anymore. You should have it." I don't reach for the watch. I stare past her. I can't get myself to look her in the eyes again.
We stood in the hallway for what seemed like eternity. She didn't say anything. I couldn't think of anything else to say except tell her how beautiful she looks. No point. She already knows I love her.
Finally, Clare huffs, and marches straight to my locker. What is she doing? I follow her limping. She looks down and grabs the lock on the door.
"Clare! What are you doing?" I said urgently.
"I'm giving this watch to you whether you like it or not!" She said stubbornly. Even through all the things we've been through, good, and especially the bad, she still wants me to keep the watch? I felt flattered.
"Clare. Clare! Okay, okay! I'll take it back." I leaned on the locker next to mine and looked at her amused.
She paused and looked up at me and smiled slightly. "You will?"
"Yes Clare. For you, I will." It was the utter truth.
She hands me the watch still smiling. "Okay. Good."
Is this closure? It doesn't feel like it. Last night, Julia and I decided that closure was best for the play. For me. How can I get closure when it still feels like old times?
I take the watch from Clare and put it around my wrist. "You happy?"
"Very." She said still smiling. What does that even mean? Happy that I took the watch, or is she just genuinely happy with life? With Jake? I need to find out.
Okay! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Here's chapter 4! I wrote A LOT lately. So the sooner I get some reviews the sooner I'll update :D