Chapter 10: "Man Pride"
"Fuckin say it Murph! Jus say it an I'll let ya go!" I promised as he struggled awkwardly, since I was sitting on top of him, and had his arms pinned against his back.
"Fuck off! Never!" He declared, struggling harder, his pride now hanging in the balance. Connor was howling with delight at the thought of what he knew was coming.
"I can do this all day, ya know. Yer gonna have ta say it at some point." I faked a yawn, as he finally stopped flailing, overcome by defeat. He mumbled something into the floor and I knew what it was.
"Wha? Sorry Murph, I can't here ya….can ya hear him Connor?" I taunted him.
"Not one word, m'dear. Ya really will have ta speak louder, my dear brudder." Connor said, overcome with elation.
"I said….Aideen's better than me at scrappin'…"He started, his ego obviously hurt.
"Aaaannnndd" I prodded.
"An I got beat up by a fuckin' girl!" He said miserably as I rolled off him.
Since we were younger, I'd always make the boys say it when I won a fight, which wasn't very often since they were stronger than me. A girl's gotta have her fun, right?
"Now was tha so hard, Macho Murph" Connor tormented as he handed his brother the bottle of half full whiskey.
"Ya both can suck me cock! I woulda won if she hadn't lunged at me like a fuckin feral child!" He said, passing me the bottle. "But tha was good Aidey, maybe next time I won't let ya win." He winked at me as I snorted.
"Alright Murph, whaever ya need ta believe ta keep yer "man pride" tagether." I responded.
"Me man pride's got nothin ta do with it. We can always have a rematch if ya think ya can take me again." He suggested, his eyes glinting with boyish glee.
"Or" I said, picking up the cell and flipping it open. "I could call yer Ma an tell her tha yer pickin on poor ol' Deenie." I threatened as Murphy's face morphed to total fear.
"Well, I think we've solved that one then, haven't we?" Connor said smugly from the couch.
"How ya feelin?" Murphy turned his attention to Connor, a worried expression slinking into his eyes. I knew he still felt guilty. It wasn't the first, or the last time we would take a bullet for each other, almost die for each other, and no amount of drinking, or killing would take that guilt away from us. It was always etched into the back of our minds, but the pain slowly lessened with time.
"A bit better, I suppose. Though, it still hurts like a mutherfucker." He said, trying not to sound weak.
"Pussy." I heard Murphy say under his breath and I felt the smile tug on the edge of my lips. Yeah, my boys were back alright. Resilient little bastards, they were.
"We oughta clean 'em again. Last thing we need is a trip ta tha fuckin' hospital." I said, shuddering at the thought.
"Wha's with ya an fuckin hospitals, Aidey?" Murph asked interestedly. Hospitals always scared me half to death. The smell of sickness and death and misery just hung in the air, sticking to my clothes. And the people were what really got me. Wearing scant gowns, moaning and shuffling around like fucking zombies, some of them just lying in a bed, the feeling of death just hovering around them. I'd always avoided the waiting room if I could. I couldn't take watching the families of some poor soul, tucked into some corner, crying and anxious and praying that it was a false alarm. It just wasn't something I could ever handle.
"They jus fuckin skeeve me. They smell like death, an ya always smell like it fer hours after ya leave." I said, horrified.
"Yer a right fuckin strange one, Deenie." Connor said in amazement as I started grabbing the medical supplies. Connor sat forward as I unwound the bandages that covered most of his chest and stomach. The bruising had worsened and he looked he was rotting from the inside out or something with the way the pattern spread across his body, swirling colors of deep purple, green and yellow like a kaleidoscope. He grimaced, gritting his teeth as I poured rubbing alcohol into the wounds.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, women! Yer as ruthless as Ma!" He gasped as Murphy handed him the bottle.I watched Murphy's eyes study the gaping wounds on Connor, the guilt steadily seeping into his eyes. I knew I couldn't do anything; Murph would handle this same as he'd always done. He'd lock it all in his mind and sort it out when he was alone. There was no amount of poking and prodding me or even Connor could do to get it out of him. He either talked about it, or he didn't. I sat back, letting the wounds soak and cleanse as I sipped heartily from the bottle, embracing the burn once again.
"Yer probably gunna be outta commission fer awhile there, Con." Murphy stated as Connor fidgeted, already restless.
"Ya think? I think I'm as healthy as a fuckin ox!" he kidded.
"Yeah, an ox with a broken fuckin leg maybe. Ya look worse than Roc after a fuckin bar fight." I laughed. Rocco, good Lord rest his soul, was not a very good fighter. This was inconvenient for him, because he had a big mouth and more often than not, we'd be the ones to have to back it up. I'd lost count of the number of times he'd gotten his ass kicked for opening his big Italian mouth after one too many drinks, but fuck if I didn't miss the shit outta that loud, mouthy bastard.
"I can jus see him now, drunk as fuck in heaven, tryin ta seal tha deal with some sexy angel." Murphy mused, a faint smile across his face.
"Knowin' him, he's probably braggin 'bout something he had nothin ta do with, like they don't already know tha shit in heaven." Connor added. I poured us proper shots, to honor Roc's memory. I started reciting the prayer I'd learned by heart when my parents had died.
Death is nothing at does not count.I have only slipped away into the next remains as it old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, we were to each other, that we are me by the old familiar of me in the easy way which you always no sorrow in your as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed , smile, think of me, pray for my name be ever the household word that it always it be spoken without effortLife means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever is unbroken should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,just around the is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is brief moment and all will be as it was we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.
"Amen." The boys mumbled as we all silently took our shots.