Sugar High

I, the Dashing yet Debonair Dexter, really had no idea if Lumen Ann Pierce would show up at the coffee shop. Don't get me wrong, I knew that she would want to be there but I was hoping that she overslept. She had a nice although critically reviewed meal, a long hot shower, clean clothes, cold AC, and a nice soft bed… I didn't think it to be an unreasonable desire for the poor thing to have some well deserved beauty sleep. But right before I rounded the corner I heard her voice and I let out a deep sigh and tried to adjust the muscles in my face from bitter disappointment into something resembling a smile and strode around the corner.

"Hi there grumpy Gus… Someone's not a morning person!" Lumen faked a pout at me as a slid into the booth.

I had never in a million years expected this drastic of a change in her. She was vibrant, smiling, and friendly. She had curled her hair somehow, was wearing makeup, and was extremely out going and precocious. I saw she had a newspaper and had done the crossword and Sudoku puzzle already. The only evidence of the woman I saw from last night was the visible cuts on her hands, neck and face, as well as her shaking hands.

"Wow, Lumen… you look beautiful and chipper," and I thought to myself, 'and really creepy scary…' and had to wonder if I got my knife back from her.

She grabbed my hand, squeezing it very tightly and started talking really fast: at almost teenage girl speed, "Oh my God, I feel so incredible you just don't understand! I couldn't sleep so I went outside and I was sitting in front of the hotel and I was bored and so picked up this scratch off ticket to scratch the other thingies off but didn't have any fingernails or a coin to scratch it with so I looked at it before throwing it down and someone had won a hundred and fifty dollars and lost it or threw it away! So, here is a hundred dollars for you and I went to Wal-Mart and bought these clothes because they're really soft because my skin is really sensitive, this necklace, a curling iron, OH and some sugarless gum …oh, and a newspaper! I ate like three times too! Everything tastes so good; I thought I would never enjoy eating again after…" she broke of suddenly and I interjected quickly…

"Wow, that's great!" I tried to seem happy but she saw right threw it and the smile fell instantly from her face and now resembled a Salvador Dali painting.

"What? I don't know you that well Dexter… but what is it?" she said at a normal rate of speech.

"I am really happy that you are enjoying it and you should, but I feel like I should warn you that it won't last."

"What? Why not! I want to feel like this forever! I want to live life!" she practically yelled.

The waitress came over, "Hey there, coffee?" I nodded and she flipped over the cup and filled it, Lumen pushed her cup to her, "Sorry Lu, I told you that you're cut off. I never thought I would have to refuse someone coffee…"

"Awe, come on Maxine… we were doing so well!" she pouted in jest.

"Are you her designated driver?" I nodded wearily. "Okay, one more but this is it!" Lumen clapped and the waitress laughed as she filled her cup and walked off.

"Lumen," I waited for her to look at me, "your body was putting off massive amounts of endorphins to offset the things that were happening to you so you could cope. Now the bad things are gone and the endorphins are still coming, sort of like adrenalin."

"So, I will level off at some point?"

"A steep crash is more likely."

Her mouth hung open, which reminded me of my sister Deb. "How long do I have Dexter?" she said it as though a Doctor had just told her she had cancer.

I shrugged shamefully hoping the answer was thirty seconds, "I have no idea, but you'll know when it happens. Not to rain on your parade though, you deserve it. Go do fun things today, chores can wait."

"Okay, what should I do?" she looked at me expectantly.

"Well the hypersensitivity is part of it, you know about touch and taste. Try the music store where you can listen to whatever you want, or the planetarium or 3d movie for visual, or a candle store or something for smell."

"Wow, that's great! Those are great ideas! I feel like bungee jumping or parachuting or something… something crazy!" she smiled expectantly.

"Not a lot of bungee options in Florida, for parachuting you have to take a class first," she fake pouted again. "Parasailing might be what you're looking for. It's where you are in a parachute being pulled by a boat…" she started shaking her head.

"No, not for me, no sir…'the Lumen' doesn't do water. I have no boobs, zero percent body fat, and can't swim. So, basically I'd sink like a stone."

"The Lumen can't swim? Who can't swim? Aren't you from the Land of 10,000 Lakes, or is that Michigan?"

"The Lumen, for one, can't swim. Yes we have 10,000 lakes and if you are willing to blast through the ice with dynamite you might be able to swim for a few minutes before you start hearing Celine Dion."

"Ah, okay. Why are we 'The Lumen' now anyway?"

"Why not, haven't you ever been 'The Dexter?"

"No, some people at work call me Dexterous, I put up with it hoping it will go away, but it hasn't. Some people call me Dex, I think its okay for my family to call me that, but with people I hardly know it irks me."

"Yeah, a lot of people call me Lu. Girls I'm okay with calling me that, but not men. I feel like it strips me of my femininity, my fiancée used to call me that and it irked me to no end. My name is weird enough without people butching it up."

"Okay, well how about a sunset on the ocean? You want to go out on my boat?"

"You have a boat?" she sounded wary. "Is it a big boat?"

"It's about five Lumens long…"

"That sounds huge! Will you go more slowly if I get scared?" she asked seriously.

"Absolutely I would. So, I need to go in to work for a bit but, I will cut out early. Get a swim suit or something while you're out and we will go after work."

"We can't go in the dark and I can't go in the water and I really can't wear a suit…"

"I go after work more than any other time, the sunset over the water is incredible. Yes, you can go in the water, if I can teach a newborn to swim in the ocean, I can teach you. No one will be around to see you in your suit but me, and I've seen you already… Trust me it will be fun."

So, Lumen got me to drop her at the bank, she was convinced she would be able to get money out without checks or ID of any kind. She still had some of her fifty dollars left for a cab, so I humored her.

At about three I was able to sneak away even though work was unbelievably crazy. I had been out on leave for ten weeks and a mountain of reports to write had piled up. I grabbed a foot of them and hit the door. I met Lumen at her room; as soon as I pulled up she ran out and locked the door. I was pleased to see that she looked very beach worthy in loose fitting shirt and shorts over what appeared to be a green and white stripped bathing suit and was wearing sunglasses.

She got in and immediately grimaced and curled her nose at the stench, "what the hell is that…" I looked at her sideways and couldn't help but look irritated. "Oh my God, that's from me?" I watched in secret delight as she turned green, then I backed the SUV out and sped off with the windows down. "Christ! It's wasn't like that this morning!"

"The car's been in the hot sun all day. Sorry, I tried Fabreze but it didn't do anything…" I didn't know why I sounded embarrassed; it was her doing after all.

"God, that's horrid. How could I not smell that?" she asked as she unscrewed a bottle of suntan lotion and held it under her nose.

I couldn't help but laugh having seen Astor do the same thing to avoid a noxious vapor from Harrison one day. "Here," I handed her some Vic's Vapor Rub from my center console, blot a dab of that under your nose."

"Hey that works thanks!"

So, I still had to coax my skittish charge onto my boat, "it will be fine." I offered her a hand, but she stared at it as if afraid, so an extended an arm instead even though it felt stupid, I felt like I was a falconer or something. She took my forearm and climbed into the boat from the dock.

"Are you sure… five Lumen's long sounded a lot bigger…" she said looking warily up and down the length of the boat.

"She's plenty big enough, I've taken her to the Keys," she looked worried, "but we aren't going that far today. We are just going out far enough to see a nice sunset."

I piloted the craft for a few minutes until I saw her near the front of the boat clutching her chest and looking around frantically at the water. I throttled back and walked towards her; she back peddled in fear and almost flipped over the side. "Whoa! Lumen, it's me Dexter." She surveyed the horizon and looked petrified. "Lumen, I'm not going to hurt you. If I was going to I would've done it by now. Look at me…" she did so. "I know what you're thinking, you're out here with nowhere to run," she nodded. "Would I ever hurt you?" She thought about it and shook her head. "Okay, so look around… you can see seven miles in every direction. There is no one else out here…" she looked around again. "You're safe here, we can see people coming for miles and miles…"

"I'm… sorry. I just…" she said, calming down.

"It's okay. This is far enough anyway. Here, do you want my knife?"

She looked at it and shook her head, "No… I'm sorry Dexter."

"It's okay," I said as I lowered the ladder. "Let's get your first swimming lesson in. You'll want to leave your hat, glasses, and outer clothing though." I said as I stripped down to my bathing suit. She lost the hat and glasses, but paused at her top. I saw her staring at the huge scar on my side and I lifted the hem of my trunks so she could see the long trough of a bullet wound Sgt Doakes was kind enough to give me. "You're not the only one with scars; two of mine are truly heinous. I've seen them Lumen, they aren't as bad as you think." She seemed to accept that and ditched her top and shorts. Her bathing suit was one piece and she looked awkward in it and I wondered if she had ever owned a one piece in her life. I tied a loop of rope under her arms and tightened it. She was shaking slightly, but allowed me some leeway. I tied off the other end of the rope to a cleat and I climbed down the ladder and motioned her down.

"Sh-shouldn't I have a life vest or something?"

"Not for now, you only have a foot of slack on that rope and you have me here. Let me show you how this works. She lowered herself into the water and I showed her that if she went under that she only had to pull on the rope and that she couldn't be more than a foot underwater. We spent the next hour or so treading water until she felt comfortable with it. Then she let me talk her into taking the rope off for thirty seconds.

"Dexter, you promise you aren't going to pull up the ladder or scare me somehow?" she asked, still holding the rope apprehensively.

I looked at her and didn't even have to fake sympathy, "If there is one person on Earth that deserves to never be scared again it's you. Come on, give me thirty seconds…"

She looked at me in adoration and let go of the rope. I looked at my watch as the time ticked down. "You're almost there… Okay, ten more seconds… tick… tick… tick…" Her eyes widened and her muscles seemed to lockup. She sank below the surface and for a moment I thought she was playing until she started thrashing around. I was still holding onto the ladder and I stuck one foot out and lifted her up with it. She pulled herself over to me and grabbed me around the neck for dear life and out of nothing but instinct I wrapped my arm around her but she didn't seem to mind, apparently her fear of water temporarily vetoed her fear of men.

She sputtered and blinked the water out of her eyes, "sorry…"

"No big deal. What was that about?"

She looked me in the eyes from just a few inches away, her mouth opened and then closed, she shook her head no. I smiled, "its okay. You don't have to share. Do you know why I wanted to teach you to swim?" I asked, suddenly aware of the heat of her skin and the closeness of her face, we were practically kissing.

"So, I wouldn't drown?"

"Yes, but that wasn't the primary reason. I brought you here to teach you to trust again. Thanks for trusting me. I know that's a huge step for you…"

I saw her stare at my lips, an indication that she was thinking about kissing me and then just as suddenly I saw the fear start to creep back into her eyes, "Come on Lumen, let's go…" I climbed the ladder and helped her up. "We have a few minutes until sunset." I handed her a towel as I dried off myself.

We sat on the bow for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, watching the sun sink lower. After many long minutes admiring the oranges, reds, and pinks she said sadly, "… I never thought I would see one again," I looked over and she was crying silently. "It's happening Dexter… I can feel it slipping away, I want to hold onto it but I can't... Can we go home? I want to go home…"

I got up quickly, "Yes, we can go. Come sit up here, it feels great facing into the wind; I'll even let you sing that song from Titanic…"

She laughed at that, "yeah, for good luck…"

I sped us back to the marina and the trip seemed to help hold her together until we got to the shore. I secured the boat as fast as possible and made a mental note to top off the fuel later; I always kept it full in case of emergencies.

I took her back to her hotel and walked her to her door and I knew she was coming apart at the seams; she looked like she was going to collapse. "Lumen, did you want me to stay with you for awhile?" I was worried, but didn't really want to stay. She shook her head 'no' vigorously and after the fourth time she fumbled the keys while trying to open the door I picked them up and opened the door for her. She darted in and slammed the door and locked it.

Not knowing what else to do I offered, "See you for breakfast again tomorrow?"

I could tell she was leaning against the door as she choked out, "Okay. Bye." I heard her slide down the door and then there was a small wailing sound.

I was in a foul mood the entire way home; I couldn't bring myself to think of anything else that night no matter how hard I tried. I even resorted to watching TV, but the incessant whining of everyone complaining about how horrible their lives were, separated by ads for things that you just 'couldn't live without', simply served to remind me how trivial those things were and how great everyone had it. Even I was guilty of it.

For two months I had lamented my wives death and my role in it, but the reality was that she had been granted a quick and easy death. The shear thought of Rita being in the clutches of these animals for months before being butchered and stuffed into a barrel filled me with such rage I thought it best to avoid public restrooms for the rest of the day. Trinity had preformed a mercy killing by comparison. I had previously lamented having killed him quickly, without having known she had been murdered, because I thought that I would have extracted some sort of due vengeance over the course of many hours. But no amount of torture, sort of the Spanish Inquisition, could equal what Lumen had endured. Lumen had robbed me of my hatred of Trinity, now I merely pitied him. Arthur Mitchell wasn't a monster; he was a pathetic loser that preyed on women, kids, and drunks. The men that had taken Lumen were real monsters. They were monsters the likes of which the world rarely sees and then usually they do appear in groups, each feeding off of the others. They were another sad example of Hitler's willing executioners, monsters that cohabitate often cause escalation, where as if they remained loners the damage they inflected would have been negligible.

Sleep, something that was usually a given for me, was elusive. I gave up around 4am and went running and had my usual blistering shower and hardy breakfast and was out the door by six. I obviously got to the café early and Lumen wasn't there yet. I waited thirty minutes, until five after seven before I paid my tab and crossed the street. I found myself walking faster and almost started running at the end. I half expected to find her in the tub with her wrists slit. I knocked on the door, just a knuckle rap the first time and then ratcheted up until I reached full fledged banging. I let myself in with my key and looked around, the bed hadn't been slept in and I reluctantly walked to the bathroom, "Lumen? It's Dexter…" the door was open and the light was on but the tub was thankfully empty, but her toothbrush and things were still here.

I walked to the phone and dialed the desk, "Yes, any messages? No? Thanks…" for nothing' I thought. I sucked on my back molar for a moment and hoped she had just gone to Wal-Mart or something.

I reluctantly went to work for what seemed like the longest day of my life. I looked for Jane Doe's and suicides and none matched her description. I tried to call the room a few times with no luck.

After my internment I sped over to the motel in a way that even other Miami motorists deemed reckless. I knocked twice and there was no answer, so I let myself in again. Everything looked the same as it had before, but I started tearing the place apart. I ripped the sheets off the bed, sifted through the remains of her 39 miscellaneous items… wait there were only 38, there was no teddy bear, nor had there been one this morning. I flung open the closet door to see if it was in there and heard and "eek" noise from the bottom of the closet. She was wedged into the bottom corner of the closet in a nest of pillows and sheets, she was clutching the bear tightly and her eyes were huge and frightened.

"Lumen, it's me, Dexter. Have you been in there the whole time? Since yesterday…"

She nodded meekly.

"You have to eat something…"

She shook her head and seemed to turn a light shade of green.

"Come on Lumen, you'll be safe with me. I need to eat; if you don't come, you'll be here alone…"

She stayed inside and closed the door as an answer.

"Okay, well… I'll meet you in the morning for breakfast okay?" She gave no answer, so I left and got in my car and as I started the engine, I saw her bolt out of the room. She dove into the passenger seat before the car door was even open all the way. She buckled up and pulled her knees up to her chin, making a defensive ball.

I honestly didn't expect her to speak and was mildly shocked when she did, "… so you said those Medianoche sandwiches are better hot?"