Chapter 5 of You Get Used To It
Initiation
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"Alright, alright, we're running out of time. Don isn't going to be in the shower forever. How about we do this, we should each state why he should or should not become a Turtle," Mikey suggested.
"Fair enough," they both agreed.
"Raph, you know the situation the best, you go first."
"Well, I think we should let him in. Even if we don't all trust him right now, he hasn't ever done anything to show that he's not trustworthy. We have been tracking him for years and he's never done anything to prove that he wouldn't stay with us. We've always known we were going to let him in, why not let him in a little early. He's a good person and he has nowhere to go. We're his only friends." Raph stated his case and looked at Leo to state his.
"I say no, it's too soon and we can't afford it financially. He needs to earn this life. He can't just waltz in without proving himself. It will have come too easy for him and he will either take advantage of it or he will resent it," Leo crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, "Not to mention it could blow up in our faces."
"He's not like that!" Raph blurted out.
"Raph, he was just giving his opinion. It's my turn, though. First, I will start working more. Second, I think that he needs us right now, his mom is dead and he has nowhere to go. If we show him kindness now, he will feel more prone to stay true to us than if we left him to fend for himself. If we did that, he would resent us. Plus both of you know if he goes out on the streets, the Foot Clan will find him instantly and we can't take the risk of someone with his potential becoming one of Shredder's men. Especially, one of Shredder's men that resent us," They were decided. All three of them knew that there was no argument better than that. Mikey, right then, was incredibly thankful for all the nights of conversation with Jacks when they would analyze people's actions and responses to other people's actions.
"See, Mikey, that's why I love you. You keep me in check. I hate to tell you, though, you're not working anymore. We're going to find something else."
She rolled her eyes in response, "Whatever."
"Did I miss something?" Raph wondered aloud.
"Sure did, Romeo here tried to seduce me," Mikey shot a look at Leo.
Raph and Leo chuckled in unison but both stopped when Don walked out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants.
"Don," Leo began taking leadership, "You've heard us talk about the Turtles, right?"
"Of course," Don nodded.
"Well, okay, then. If you move in here, you would become a Turtle and we aren't sure-"Leo decided not to let him know he was in right away. He had to prove he wanted it and had to promise his loyalty.
"Look, you guys, I will do anything. Just please don't make me live on the streets. Raph already told me you guys have to trust me; I'll keep your secrets. Who am I going to tell?" he pleaded with the group.
"Don, this is more than just our secrets. We need to trust you with our *lives* we need to know you will fight to the end for any one of us and you need to know we would fight for you. We have to make sure that you will die keeping our secrets," This is where Mikey zoned out, thinking about her kidnapping. "We need to know that you can handle the pressure and the stress of this lifestyle. There is so much to it and most of it is gruesome. I take that back it is *all* gruesome. I want you to tell me that you'll stick with us. Tell me that you will accept it all and you will not ever turn your back on us. Not ever," He paused, "We need you to trust us just as much as we trust you."
Don stood thinking for a long time, "Alright, I accept. I'm in."
"One problem," Raph piped up.
"What's that?" Don looked at him curiously.
"You have to sleep on the floor," he pointed to the ground in front of him.
Don chuckled, "I think I can handle that."
"Good, now go get dressed we're taking you somewhere," a smirk hinted on Leo's features.
"Where are we going?" Don questioned.
"I hope you're not afraid of needles. If you're in for real, you get one of these," Leo lifted up his long sleeve shirt and on his inner left forearm was a tattoo of a green turtle shell with blue katanas forming an X behind the shell. Raph, then, turned around and showed the tattoo on the back of his right shoulder a green turtle shell with red sai forming the same X behind the turtle shell. Next, after realizing what was going on, Mikey smirked as she unzipped her pants and tugged them down in the front revealing her tattoo. On the front of her right hip was a green turtle shell with orange Nunchaku draped atop and dangling down on each side, hers slightly smaller than the other two. Mikey walked to her room, then, and returned with a sketch she had done of what Don's tattoo would look like.
"You get to pick where it goes," she handed it to him. He gazed down at it, a green turtle shell with a purple Bo behind it at an angle.
Don looked up at them excitedly, "This is so cool."
"This is about the only cool part," Raph said ominously.
"How did you already have it drawn out?" he questioned.
"We knew we needed some else's help, you're the lucky winner. The tattoo has been set since before we met you."
Don went back to the bathroom to change into his street clothes again. This was all happening so fast his head was spinning. He was one of them no longer an outsider. He finally belonged to something. He really did belong and they really did accept him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The four of them returned from the tattoo expedition hours later. The tattoo artist, who owed Raph a favor, did a phenomenal job on Don's tattoo located on his left bicep.
Back in the apartment, each of them took a seat. Raph and Mikey sat on the couch while Leo and Don sat on cushions on the ground.
"That," Leo told Don, "was part one of your initiation."
"How many parts are there?" he questioned
"Five," Mikey looked at him as she answered studying him. He was hiding something. Something about his past that, he did not want to say. She let it go.
"Part one. Ask us any questions about the Turtles that you have," Raph crossed his arms, prepared for the questions to come.
Wow, he thought, all the questions answered just like that. Now that he had the chance to have all of his questions answered, he had a hard time remembering what they were to begin with.
"You can ask anything," Mikey coaxed.
A number of questions flooded his mind when he looked at her but he had to hold them in for now. He decided which question he was going to ask first to get things started and call all other questions to his mind, "What *exactly* are the Turtles?"
Each of them were taken aback but then came back to reality to answer his question. Leo had begun the turtles so he leaned forward to answer the questions, "*we* are the Turtles, the four of us. In more of a definition, our sole purpose is to take out the Foot Clan because they cause a lot of trouble in the area. We don't go after innocent people or cause nuisance in the area, so the cops mostly leave us alone."
Don nodded; he would figure it out eventually. "What is the Foot Clan?"
"The Foot Clan is a group of men who just like to cause problems. Jeez, they've been around since before I was even born. They are just the very definition of 'gang.' They just like to cause problems with innocent people- and with us," Raph paused and looked away, "one thing they like to do a lot is pick up women against their will, if you know what I mean."
Don was sure that there was more to it but he didn't push it because he could tell it would be hard for any of them to get it out. "What do you guys mean when you say that you are doing 'business?"
Mikey sighed, "It could mean one of two things. The first being when we are tipped off that a member of the Foot Clan will be somewhere and we go to make sure that no problems are caused. The second being, Shredder or his men requests our presence and we go meet with them. The second is the kind that we dread most. You will, too."
"How did the Turtles get started?"
Leo looked up at him and then away, "A woman close to me was raped and ended up having a baby. When I found out, I decided that I had to see the end of the Foot Clan." Leo thought about it, 'that's all that happens to the women close to me. *He* rapes them and they wind up pregnant.'
"That's it," Don mumbled.
"Well, part two, if we're going to fight together, you are going to need to know us and we're going to need to know you," Leo told Don.
"I'll start," Mikey volunteered. "I am 15 years old born and raised in this very city. I had a very easy life with a loving family. Nothing all that risqué, my life was mediocre, actually. I grew up with one younger sister and five older brothers even though some were adults and out of the house before I could remember. I lived in the same house my whole life.
"When I was about eight, a boy moved in down the street from living on the other side of town. We started hanging out and, well, we grew up. I fell in love with him and I would have followed him to the ends of the earth. As we all do, he had secrets I didn't know about, and I followed him one night to see where he always went. I ended up causing a lot of problems and I got myself beat up and by the end of the night I was a Turtle," Leo, Don recognized, was the boy she was in love with.
"One night I snuck out to go to his house and on my way back a man grabbed me and took me somewhere," she looked around. Was she going to tell them *everything*? Yeah, I guess I should she thought. She looked Leo and Raph in the face, giving them an apologetic look for her secrets, tears in eye. Both of them were wondering what was going on when she continued, "Well, he would ask me questions about the Turtles and things like that and he told me that if I told him he wouldn't hurt me. I didn't give him any answers, I pretended like I didn't even know anyone named Raph or Leo and in turn, I got beat up. He broke my bones or punched my face when I didn't answer him. Eventually I was given the choice: I could answer his questions, or I could have sex with him. I told him I would have sex with him. That's why I couldn't do anything about it, I gave him permission." She looked at her hands and took a ragged breath as tears slid down her cheeks. It took every ounce of Leo's strength not to reach for the hands she focused on. He wanted to touch her and tell her he was sorry and that it was all right but he couldn't. Hesitantly, she continued, "It was my first time, and I didn't think he could hurt me that bad but, oh god, did he hurt me. He was so rough," she laugh brutally at her own innocence. "Eventually, he let me go," she spared them more painful details of her kidnapping, "and when I went home, I got kicked out of the house because my parents found out I was pregnant, and *their* kids don't get pregnant. I had no choice; I left and lived on the streets for a while until we ended up getting this apartment. I had the baby, Devon, two years ago and eventually I just adapted into the girl you know today," she smiled lightly and wiped her cheeks. "Ding. Next." The three boys in the room gawked at her, too awe struck at the information to continue. "Please, just someone go."
Leo shook his head of the images in his mind. He would need to talk about this with her. Why had she never told him? Damn her for not telling him, "I'll go," he looked around to make sure he had everyone's attention. "I'm seventeen, same as Mikey, I had an easy life. I had both my parents who were together until I was eight and I had a little brother.
"Everything changed a couple weeks after my eighth birthday when my brother was seven. My parents got a divorce. My dad wanted custody of his son and he won so he took me to the other side of town to live. That was when I found out my little brother wasn't really my little brother. He was my half brother; my mom was raped when I was an infant and got pregnant. I was so *angry* at the man who did that to my mom," he confessed. "I lived with my dad a while. When I was about ten my mom and little brother moved back in with us but nothing was ever the same. When I turned eleven, I started the Turtles, all by myself, trying to take out Shredder, trying to get my revenge.
"I ended up falling in love with a girl who lived down the street from me and she ended up being sucked into the Turtles. I hated myself for letting that happen," he shook his head. "She was kidnapped when I was fifteen and I tried for days to find her. When I did, she was in horrible shape and I went off to search for revenge. The same man who raped my mom had just raped the girl I was in love with. I came back, she was pregnant, and my parents thought I did it to her so they kicked me out of the house. My parents couldn't have their son messing up the family name. I found her and begged her to move into the apartment with me. She did and she had the baby and I got the hang of being a father and that's what brings me up to today."
Don looked Leo in the eye, "It was that Shredder guy wasn't it?" Leo nodded. "Your brother and Devon are half brothers," he stated and Leo nodded.
"I'm sixteen," Raph began, "never had an easy life. My dad used to hit me all the time, I wasn't good enough not like my older brother and my mom didn't pay attention to me. My dad loved my older brother; never hit him once in his life. I was lucky enough that my older brother loved me, though. Whenever my dad would start to beat on me, my brother would tell him to stop; I think he was the only thing that kept me from being killed. God, I worshiped my brother.
"When I was seven, my parents got divorced and I lived with my mom for a while and I found out that the man who I lived with my whole life wasn't really my father. When I lived with my mom, no one hit me but no one loved me either and I missed my brother. When I was, about nine my mom and Rick got back together and life was the same as before, my brother being the only thing keeping me from bad beatings and when he wasn't there I really got it.
"When my brother was eleven he started, something called the Turtles and he wouldn't let me join until one night when he got beat up real bad and he knew he needed someone else to back him up. I was eleven at the time. Everything was the same-just taking care of the business and all-until my brother's girlfriend got pregnant. The same man who raped my mom raped her. I was going to have a new half brother. My brother was kicked out of the house and, since I had no one left to protect me, I followed him. I have just been dealing with business ever since. I'm afraid I'm going to turn into Rick, I hate getting close with people maybe I won't be able to control myself just that once. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want my brothers or my sister to deal with that kind of thing," he looked at Mikey across the couch, "You pretty much are my sister." She smiled and reached out and squeezed his hand.
Don took his cue, "Well my birthday is," he checked his watch 2:30 AM, "today, so I am sixteen."
Mikey smirked, "I knew that, presents in the morning."
Devon looked shocked, but the look quickly passed. "Well, I'm kind of with Raph on this one. I didn't have an easy life. When I was little, my uncle lived with us and he was. God, he was the biggest son of a bitch I have ever met. Man, did I hate him. He moved in when I was five and he didn't move out until I was eleven. We had a little routine, he would tell me after dinner weather or not I should stay up late. If he said not to stay up, I would go to sleep and dread the next day, because maybe then he would tell me to stay awake. If he said I should stay up, I would have to take off all my clothes and wait," his voice cracked, "Waiting was the hardest part. I would have to wait on my bed until he came in my room. When he told me to stay up it would mean that he was horny and I was his toy. I would have to do what he would tell me. Most nights, he would just want to touch me or me to touch him. Sometimes, he would make me suck him until he was pleased," Don laughed bitterly. "When it got really bad, though, he would make me lay down on my stomach and," he couldn't get the rest out, although he was sure they knew what he meant. "I never told anyone about that.
"When I was eleven my parents kicked him out and, even though he wasn't there anymore, the memories really stuck. I would wake up with nightmares that I had fallen asleep when he told me not to and he was hitting me or I would have nightmares about the nights that I hadn't forgotten to stay awake. It was hard everything was just a haze. Then this last summer my dad died and today-yesterday, I mean, my mom died," he shrugged, "and now I'm here. I feel like I'm not an outsider anymore. My whole life, I never fit in." Leo, Raph and Mikey were stunned. He had lived through far worse than all of them had. "I see it in your faces, don't say you're sorry, I'm fine," they nodded in unison.
"Part four, you can ask us any questions about our personal lives," Leo stated.
"I'm pretty sure about all this but just for clarification. You and Mikey lived down the street from each other and fell in love, Raph is your brother, and Shredder raped Mikey and your mother, correct?"
"That is all accurate," Leo nodded.
"Mikey, why did you keep Devon? I mean, you're so young," he redirected his attention to the young brunet.
"I didn't have parental permission for an abortion, I was kicked out and I didn't want to do it illegally because that's really dangerous. My only option was to put him up for adoption. I had to have him at home; a friend of Leo's family came here and did it free because we couldn't afford to go to the hospital. Once I held him, saw him, and heard him cry, I couldn't let him go. I know it sounds dumb, but I was so attached and I loved him so much that I knew I had to make it work any way I could to keep him," her eyes got a far off look as she was obviously thinking about her son.
"Where does he go during the day?" this time, Don looked at Leo.
"He stays with a lady down the hall, Annabel. She's fifty and acts young for her age. She was never married and never had any children, but loves them just the same. She enjoys having Devon during the day and she doesn't ask for money for it. She's a great woman; she's helped us endlessly since we moved in. One day I would like to repay her."
"Living in your world is like an art form," Don declared to no one in particular.
"I agree, you get used to it," Raph shared his secret. "Part five, we give you advice. Our worldly knowledge is now yours, you could say. My advice for you is that you will get used to it. People are forced to adapt, once you start fighting on a regular basis you get used to it. Once you live in poverty for a while, you get used to it. When you have children young, you get used to it. Once you've been running from the truth and keeping secrets for a while, you get used to it," He looked directly at Don, "once your uncle touches you for a while, you get used to it. Once you get used to being a Turtle you can get used to anything," Raph shook his head wistfully. "No matter what, you can get used to anything." "Part five is an ongoing process, we're still sharing our knowledge with each other, each piece of advice will come at the appropriate time," Leo told him, "for now, lets just go to sleep."
That night none of them got much sleep, past secrets kept undisclosed with such care had been stirred to life. Mikey tossed and turned on her mattress with her son curled up next to her while the boys slept in the living room. After everyone had finally gotten to sleep, Leo made his way into Mikey's bedroom to look down at her small body.
Why didn't she tell me that she *chose* sex? He wondered. In a way, he knew it was because he would feel responsible. He gently touched her hair with his hand. She didn't deserve to live like this. "I am *going* to make life better for you no matter what," he whispered his promise as his hand slid down her cheek.
"Leo, if only you would understand, you *are* my life. It doesn't get better," she murmured back. Hesitantly, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. He knew it had been much too long since he had felt her lips on his. He wished her good night and went to sleep with the memory of her touch fresh in his mind.
"Sweet dreams," she murmured. She had missed him, she knew that, but she wasn't aware until just then *how* much she had missed him.
A/N: Hey, people. I'm going to camp tomorrow so I worked my little tail off to get this done for you guys. I think this chapter is okay, does that matter much? I hope all of you liked it. Please review!! Love ya'll! I know it's kinda weird that Don's uncle did that to him, and I know it's kinda sick. But it's reality. It happens.
Muah, Krissy.
************Reviewer Interaction: What has been your favorite chapter so far and why?***********
My reviewers are the best:
**Tiffany:** Book. Ha. Thanks for the confidence.. I love you a lot and if you review again you won't be a fool.
**Aaron:** Hun? Okay, I'll let it slide. Why can you relate to Leo the most? Good work? If you say so. I love ya!
**Heather:** Thanks for reviewing. As long as you keep reviewing I'll keep writing *winks*
**Ramica:** Great chapter? Naw. Yes, Leo was holding back but now he is hesitantly, (bah. not hesitant, just aware) easing his way back into the relationship. Neither of them want to rush it.
**Erin:** Thanks for reviewing! Was that enough info about Raph or would you like more? Your questions were definitely not stupid. They were helpful, in fact. Hope I answered them somewhat, more explanations to come.
**Kelly the Magnificent:** Kelly, not only was chapter 4 depressing, the whole thing has been. I'm sorry about that fact.
Enjoy!
"Alright, alright, we're running out of time. Don isn't going to be in the shower forever. How about we do this, we should each state why he should or should not become a Turtle," Mikey suggested.
"Fair enough," they both agreed.
"Raph, you know the situation the best, you go first."
"Well, I think we should let him in. Even if we don't all trust him right now, he hasn't ever done anything to show that he's not trustworthy. We have been tracking him for years and he's never done anything to prove that he wouldn't stay with us. We've always known we were going to let him in, why not let him in a little early. He's a good person and he has nowhere to go. We're his only friends." Raph stated his case and looked at Leo to state his.
"I say no, it's too soon and we can't afford it financially. He needs to earn this life. He can't just waltz in without proving himself. It will have come too easy for him and he will either take advantage of it or he will resent it," Leo crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, "Not to mention it could blow up in our faces."
"He's not like that!" Raph blurted out.
"Raph, he was just giving his opinion. It's my turn, though. First, I will start working more. Second, I think that he needs us right now, his mom is dead and he has nowhere to go. If we show him kindness now, he will feel more prone to stay true to us than if we left him to fend for himself. If we did that, he would resent us. Plus both of you know if he goes out on the streets, the Foot Clan will find him instantly and we can't take the risk of someone with his potential becoming one of Shredder's men. Especially, one of Shredder's men that resent us," They were decided. All three of them knew that there was no argument better than that. Mikey, right then, was incredibly thankful for all the nights of conversation with Jacks when they would analyze people's actions and responses to other people's actions.
"See, Mikey, that's why I love you. You keep me in check. I hate to tell you, though, you're not working anymore. We're going to find something else."
She rolled her eyes in response, "Whatever."
"Did I miss something?" Raph wondered aloud.
"Sure did, Romeo here tried to seduce me," Mikey shot a look at Leo.
Raph and Leo chuckled in unison but both stopped when Don walked out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants.
"Don," Leo began taking leadership, "You've heard us talk about the Turtles, right?"
"Of course," Don nodded.
"Well, okay, then. If you move in here, you would become a Turtle and we aren't sure-"Leo decided not to let him know he was in right away. He had to prove he wanted it and had to promise his loyalty.
"Look, you guys, I will do anything. Just please don't make me live on the streets. Raph already told me you guys have to trust me; I'll keep your secrets. Who am I going to tell?" he pleaded with the group.
"Don, this is more than just our secrets. We need to trust you with our *lives* we need to know you will fight to the end for any one of us and you need to know we would fight for you. We have to make sure that you will die keeping our secrets," This is where Mikey zoned out, thinking about her kidnapping. "We need to know that you can handle the pressure and the stress of this lifestyle. There is so much to it and most of it is gruesome. I take that back it is *all* gruesome. I want you to tell me that you'll stick with us. Tell me that you will accept it all and you will not ever turn your back on us. Not ever," He paused, "We need you to trust us just as much as we trust you."
Don stood thinking for a long time, "Alright, I accept. I'm in."
"One problem," Raph piped up.
"What's that?" Don looked at him curiously.
"You have to sleep on the floor," he pointed to the ground in front of him.
Don chuckled, "I think I can handle that."
"Good, now go get dressed we're taking you somewhere," a smirk hinted on Leo's features.
"Where are we going?" Don questioned.
"I hope you're not afraid of needles. If you're in for real, you get one of these," Leo lifted up his long sleeve shirt and on his inner left forearm was a tattoo of a green turtle shell with blue katanas forming an X behind the shell. Raph, then, turned around and showed the tattoo on the back of his right shoulder a green turtle shell with red sai forming the same X behind the turtle shell. Next, after realizing what was going on, Mikey smirked as she unzipped her pants and tugged them down in the front revealing her tattoo. On the front of her right hip was a green turtle shell with orange Nunchaku draped atop and dangling down on each side, hers slightly smaller than the other two. Mikey walked to her room, then, and returned with a sketch she had done of what Don's tattoo would look like.
"You get to pick where it goes," she handed it to him. He gazed down at it, a green turtle shell with a purple Bo behind it at an angle.
Don looked up at them excitedly, "This is so cool."
"This is about the only cool part," Raph said ominously.
"How did you already have it drawn out?" he questioned.
"We knew we needed some else's help, you're the lucky winner. The tattoo has been set since before we met you."
Don went back to the bathroom to change into his street clothes again. This was all happening so fast his head was spinning. He was one of them no longer an outsider. He finally belonged to something. He really did belong and they really did accept him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The four of them returned from the tattoo expedition hours later. The tattoo artist, who owed Raph a favor, did a phenomenal job on Don's tattoo located on his left bicep.
Back in the apartment, each of them took a seat. Raph and Mikey sat on the couch while Leo and Don sat on cushions on the ground.
"That," Leo told Don, "was part one of your initiation."
"How many parts are there?" he questioned
"Five," Mikey looked at him as she answered studying him. He was hiding something. Something about his past that, he did not want to say. She let it go.
"Part one. Ask us any questions about the Turtles that you have," Raph crossed his arms, prepared for the questions to come.
Wow, he thought, all the questions answered just like that. Now that he had the chance to have all of his questions answered, he had a hard time remembering what they were to begin with.
"You can ask anything," Mikey coaxed.
A number of questions flooded his mind when he looked at her but he had to hold them in for now. He decided which question he was going to ask first to get things started and call all other questions to his mind, "What *exactly* are the Turtles?"
Each of them were taken aback but then came back to reality to answer his question. Leo had begun the turtles so he leaned forward to answer the questions, "*we* are the Turtles, the four of us. In more of a definition, our sole purpose is to take out the Foot Clan because they cause a lot of trouble in the area. We don't go after innocent people or cause nuisance in the area, so the cops mostly leave us alone."
Don nodded; he would figure it out eventually. "What is the Foot Clan?"
"The Foot Clan is a group of men who just like to cause problems. Jeez, they've been around since before I was even born. They are just the very definition of 'gang.' They just like to cause problems with innocent people- and with us," Raph paused and looked away, "one thing they like to do a lot is pick up women against their will, if you know what I mean."
Don was sure that there was more to it but he didn't push it because he could tell it would be hard for any of them to get it out. "What do you guys mean when you say that you are doing 'business?"
Mikey sighed, "It could mean one of two things. The first being when we are tipped off that a member of the Foot Clan will be somewhere and we go to make sure that no problems are caused. The second being, Shredder or his men requests our presence and we go meet with them. The second is the kind that we dread most. You will, too."
"How did the Turtles get started?"
Leo looked up at him and then away, "A woman close to me was raped and ended up having a baby. When I found out, I decided that I had to see the end of the Foot Clan." Leo thought about it, 'that's all that happens to the women close to me. *He* rapes them and they wind up pregnant.'
"That's it," Don mumbled.
"Well, part two, if we're going to fight together, you are going to need to know us and we're going to need to know you," Leo told Don.
"I'll start," Mikey volunteered. "I am 15 years old born and raised in this very city. I had a very easy life with a loving family. Nothing all that risqué, my life was mediocre, actually. I grew up with one younger sister and five older brothers even though some were adults and out of the house before I could remember. I lived in the same house my whole life.
"When I was about eight, a boy moved in down the street from living on the other side of town. We started hanging out and, well, we grew up. I fell in love with him and I would have followed him to the ends of the earth. As we all do, he had secrets I didn't know about, and I followed him one night to see where he always went. I ended up causing a lot of problems and I got myself beat up and by the end of the night I was a Turtle," Leo, Don recognized, was the boy she was in love with.
"One night I snuck out to go to his house and on my way back a man grabbed me and took me somewhere," she looked around. Was she going to tell them *everything*? Yeah, I guess I should she thought. She looked Leo and Raph in the face, giving them an apologetic look for her secrets, tears in eye. Both of them were wondering what was going on when she continued, "Well, he would ask me questions about the Turtles and things like that and he told me that if I told him he wouldn't hurt me. I didn't give him any answers, I pretended like I didn't even know anyone named Raph or Leo and in turn, I got beat up. He broke my bones or punched my face when I didn't answer him. Eventually I was given the choice: I could answer his questions, or I could have sex with him. I told him I would have sex with him. That's why I couldn't do anything about it, I gave him permission." She looked at her hands and took a ragged breath as tears slid down her cheeks. It took every ounce of Leo's strength not to reach for the hands she focused on. He wanted to touch her and tell her he was sorry and that it was all right but he couldn't. Hesitantly, she continued, "It was my first time, and I didn't think he could hurt me that bad but, oh god, did he hurt me. He was so rough," she laugh brutally at her own innocence. "Eventually, he let me go," she spared them more painful details of her kidnapping, "and when I went home, I got kicked out of the house because my parents found out I was pregnant, and *their* kids don't get pregnant. I had no choice; I left and lived on the streets for a while until we ended up getting this apartment. I had the baby, Devon, two years ago and eventually I just adapted into the girl you know today," she smiled lightly and wiped her cheeks. "Ding. Next." The three boys in the room gawked at her, too awe struck at the information to continue. "Please, just someone go."
Leo shook his head of the images in his mind. He would need to talk about this with her. Why had she never told him? Damn her for not telling him, "I'll go," he looked around to make sure he had everyone's attention. "I'm seventeen, same as Mikey, I had an easy life. I had both my parents who were together until I was eight and I had a little brother.
"Everything changed a couple weeks after my eighth birthday when my brother was seven. My parents got a divorce. My dad wanted custody of his son and he won so he took me to the other side of town to live. That was when I found out my little brother wasn't really my little brother. He was my half brother; my mom was raped when I was an infant and got pregnant. I was so *angry* at the man who did that to my mom," he confessed. "I lived with my dad a while. When I was about ten my mom and little brother moved back in with us but nothing was ever the same. When I turned eleven, I started the Turtles, all by myself, trying to take out Shredder, trying to get my revenge.
"I ended up falling in love with a girl who lived down the street from me and she ended up being sucked into the Turtles. I hated myself for letting that happen," he shook his head. "She was kidnapped when I was fifteen and I tried for days to find her. When I did, she was in horrible shape and I went off to search for revenge. The same man who raped my mom had just raped the girl I was in love with. I came back, she was pregnant, and my parents thought I did it to her so they kicked me out of the house. My parents couldn't have their son messing up the family name. I found her and begged her to move into the apartment with me. She did and she had the baby and I got the hang of being a father and that's what brings me up to today."
Don looked Leo in the eye, "It was that Shredder guy wasn't it?" Leo nodded. "Your brother and Devon are half brothers," he stated and Leo nodded.
"I'm sixteen," Raph began, "never had an easy life. My dad used to hit me all the time, I wasn't good enough not like my older brother and my mom didn't pay attention to me. My dad loved my older brother; never hit him once in his life. I was lucky enough that my older brother loved me, though. Whenever my dad would start to beat on me, my brother would tell him to stop; I think he was the only thing that kept me from being killed. God, I worshiped my brother.
"When I was seven, my parents got divorced and I lived with my mom for a while and I found out that the man who I lived with my whole life wasn't really my father. When I lived with my mom, no one hit me but no one loved me either and I missed my brother. When I was, about nine my mom and Rick got back together and life was the same as before, my brother being the only thing keeping me from bad beatings and when he wasn't there I really got it.
"When my brother was eleven he started, something called the Turtles and he wouldn't let me join until one night when he got beat up real bad and he knew he needed someone else to back him up. I was eleven at the time. Everything was the same-just taking care of the business and all-until my brother's girlfriend got pregnant. The same man who raped my mom raped her. I was going to have a new half brother. My brother was kicked out of the house and, since I had no one left to protect me, I followed him. I have just been dealing with business ever since. I'm afraid I'm going to turn into Rick, I hate getting close with people maybe I won't be able to control myself just that once. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want my brothers or my sister to deal with that kind of thing," he looked at Mikey across the couch, "You pretty much are my sister." She smiled and reached out and squeezed his hand.
Don took his cue, "Well my birthday is," he checked his watch 2:30 AM, "today, so I am sixteen."
Mikey smirked, "I knew that, presents in the morning."
Devon looked shocked, but the look quickly passed. "Well, I'm kind of with Raph on this one. I didn't have an easy life. When I was little, my uncle lived with us and he was. God, he was the biggest son of a bitch I have ever met. Man, did I hate him. He moved in when I was five and he didn't move out until I was eleven. We had a little routine, he would tell me after dinner weather or not I should stay up late. If he said not to stay up, I would go to sleep and dread the next day, because maybe then he would tell me to stay awake. If he said I should stay up, I would have to take off all my clothes and wait," his voice cracked, "Waiting was the hardest part. I would have to wait on my bed until he came in my room. When he told me to stay up it would mean that he was horny and I was his toy. I would have to do what he would tell me. Most nights, he would just want to touch me or me to touch him. Sometimes, he would make me suck him until he was pleased," Don laughed bitterly. "When it got really bad, though, he would make me lay down on my stomach and," he couldn't get the rest out, although he was sure they knew what he meant. "I never told anyone about that.
"When I was eleven my parents kicked him out and, even though he wasn't there anymore, the memories really stuck. I would wake up with nightmares that I had fallen asleep when he told me not to and he was hitting me or I would have nightmares about the nights that I hadn't forgotten to stay awake. It was hard everything was just a haze. Then this last summer my dad died and today-yesterday, I mean, my mom died," he shrugged, "and now I'm here. I feel like I'm not an outsider anymore. My whole life, I never fit in." Leo, Raph and Mikey were stunned. He had lived through far worse than all of them had. "I see it in your faces, don't say you're sorry, I'm fine," they nodded in unison.
"Part four, you can ask us any questions about our personal lives," Leo stated.
"I'm pretty sure about all this but just for clarification. You and Mikey lived down the street from each other and fell in love, Raph is your brother, and Shredder raped Mikey and your mother, correct?"
"That is all accurate," Leo nodded.
"Mikey, why did you keep Devon? I mean, you're so young," he redirected his attention to the young brunet.
"I didn't have parental permission for an abortion, I was kicked out and I didn't want to do it illegally because that's really dangerous. My only option was to put him up for adoption. I had to have him at home; a friend of Leo's family came here and did it free because we couldn't afford to go to the hospital. Once I held him, saw him, and heard him cry, I couldn't let him go. I know it sounds dumb, but I was so attached and I loved him so much that I knew I had to make it work any way I could to keep him," her eyes got a far off look as she was obviously thinking about her son.
"Where does he go during the day?" this time, Don looked at Leo.
"He stays with a lady down the hall, Annabel. She's fifty and acts young for her age. She was never married and never had any children, but loves them just the same. She enjoys having Devon during the day and she doesn't ask for money for it. She's a great woman; she's helped us endlessly since we moved in. One day I would like to repay her."
"Living in your world is like an art form," Don declared to no one in particular.
"I agree, you get used to it," Raph shared his secret. "Part five, we give you advice. Our worldly knowledge is now yours, you could say. My advice for you is that you will get used to it. People are forced to adapt, once you start fighting on a regular basis you get used to it. Once you live in poverty for a while, you get used to it. When you have children young, you get used to it. Once you've been running from the truth and keeping secrets for a while, you get used to it," He looked directly at Don, "once your uncle touches you for a while, you get used to it. Once you get used to being a Turtle you can get used to anything," Raph shook his head wistfully. "No matter what, you can get used to anything." "Part five is an ongoing process, we're still sharing our knowledge with each other, each piece of advice will come at the appropriate time," Leo told him, "for now, lets just go to sleep."
That night none of them got much sleep, past secrets kept undisclosed with such care had been stirred to life. Mikey tossed and turned on her mattress with her son curled up next to her while the boys slept in the living room. After everyone had finally gotten to sleep, Leo made his way into Mikey's bedroom to look down at her small body.
Why didn't she tell me that she *chose* sex? He wondered. In a way, he knew it was because he would feel responsible. He gently touched her hair with his hand. She didn't deserve to live like this. "I am *going* to make life better for you no matter what," he whispered his promise as his hand slid down her cheek.
"Leo, if only you would understand, you *are* my life. It doesn't get better," she murmured back. Hesitantly, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. He knew it had been much too long since he had felt her lips on his. He wished her good night and went to sleep with the memory of her touch fresh in his mind.
"Sweet dreams," she murmured. She had missed him, she knew that, but she wasn't aware until just then *how* much she had missed him.
A/N: Hey, people. I'm going to camp tomorrow so I worked my little tail off to get this done for you guys. I think this chapter is okay, does that matter much? I hope all of you liked it. Please review!! Love ya'll! I know it's kinda weird that Don's uncle did that to him, and I know it's kinda sick. But it's reality. It happens.
Muah, Krissy.
************Reviewer Interaction: What has been your favorite chapter so far and why?***********
My reviewers are the best:
**Tiffany:** Book. Ha. Thanks for the confidence.. I love you a lot and if you review again you won't be a fool.
**Aaron:** Hun? Okay, I'll let it slide. Why can you relate to Leo the most? Good work? If you say so. I love ya!
**Heather:** Thanks for reviewing. As long as you keep reviewing I'll keep writing *winks*
**Ramica:** Great chapter? Naw. Yes, Leo was holding back but now he is hesitantly, (bah. not hesitant, just aware) easing his way back into the relationship. Neither of them want to rush it.
**Erin:** Thanks for reviewing! Was that enough info about Raph or would you like more? Your questions were definitely not stupid. They were helpful, in fact. Hope I answered them somewhat, more explanations to come.
**Kelly the Magnificent:** Kelly, not only was chapter 4 depressing, the whole thing has been. I'm sorry about that fact.