Vacation: Day One- Raph
Chapter 8 of You Get Used To It
Enjoy!
"You guys mind if I take off for a little while?" Raph asked of Don and Leo when they had finished carrying in the luggage.
"Sure, man, see you in a little while," Leo handed over his keys to his friend.
"Thanks, Leo, but you don't have to do that," Raph attempted to decline Leo's offer.
"Just go, have fun," Leo pressed his keys into his younger brother's hand. In return, Raph simply gave a grateful nod and left the cabin. Once in the car he let out a sigh of relief and pulled the car onto the main road leading into town.
Raph knew he loved his friends dearly; they were all he had and he never made it a secret that he would give his life for any or all of them—Leo, Mikey, or Don. He would protect any of them before himself. Sometimes, though, he just needed to get away and be by himself. The life he lived brought nothing but stress and isolation. At sixteen, Raph's entire existence was based primarily of risking his safety to protect the lives of others. He had been completely stripped of his childhood when he had barely begun adolescence. Although Raph would never admit it to anybody he felt like a mutant, completely abnormal and almost like he had a flashing sign attached to him blinking "different."
That's the reason why this yearly vacation meant so much to Raph. It gave him an opportunity to be in an environment where nobody knew his face or his lifestyle. One week away as a normal human being gave him the strength to spend the rest of the year selflessly sacrificing for the security of others. In this small southern town, though, he felt something unusual for him. Freedom. He wanted to scream that word at anybody who would look in his direction. FREEDOM! It was an impossible emotion for him to tame and he felt like everyone else had somehow found the trick. Here, though, he could live completely free of the shackles keeping him from living normally. Here he was free from the worry for his life and the lives of the people close to him. This was the only place where he could completely blend in with a crowd and walk down the street anonymously with a feeling of complete safety. Here there was nobody around to ridicule him, nobody to harass him, and no one with any reason to attack him. Normally not only does he have to worry about the members of the Foot Clan but school is a complete nightmare, as well, where the only people he didn't have to alienate himself from were the Turtles, Casey, and April. If he didn't ostracize himself he could possibly be putting others in danger. But here, most of all, this is where he can find her.
Raph pulled into a parking spot at the local mall and shut off the car. He was feeling completely humbled as he walked down the row of cars and into the building. He walked confidently through the hallways of the mall for the simple sake of strolling and studying the faces of the people going by. It wasn't his nature to draw attention to himself even if only by looking directly at other people but here he was unafraid. He had a feeling of being generally relieved and his curiosity was getting the best of him. These surroundings that he considered to be safe for him had a serious effect on his attitude; he felt deeply lost in this exact moment as if he were suspended in time completely content to stare at everything surrounding him. This feeling was ancient to him, though. He could not remember letting himself become so childishly curious in a very long time.
Raph walked unnoticed into the major department store situated in the center of the mall and took the escalator up to the second floor and another escalator to the third. He smiled lightly to himself as he looked around at the furniture section. It was almost ghostly private and he liked that. Maybe this time, she would be here. 'Who are you trying to kid? Of course she won't be here,' his logic told himself. 'Yes she will. Hold onto that, she promised that one day she would come,' his heart retorted. He sighed.
The department was set up in rows divided to look like rooms separated by artificial walls in between with bright paintings hung on them. Raph roamed around the area designated for living rooms looking for his couch.
Finding the sofa he was looking for, Raph reclined and shut his eyes and wove back into memories from his past.
- "Boy, you're completely ignorant. Wait till I get my hands on you," Raph who was sitting on his bed heard his father roar from the other room. He looked around quickly for some form of defense. Nothing, he realized, was here to save him. Leo was gone on a quick run for the turtles and his mom was out somewhere. Not that she would help him, anyways, but it would somehow have been comforting to have his mother. Not this time, though. This time there was nothing to stop his father.
The feeling of hopelessness was not a new feeling for Raph, simply a feeling that he was newly finished with. Raph decided just then that he would wash his hands clean of the feeling of being doomed to the fate that Rick brought to him. He leapt off his bed and scurried across the room and hauled himself out his bedroom window and onto the front lawn. From there, he began to run. His legs took him as far away from his house as possible.
There would be hell to pay when he returned for the stunt he had just pulled, but he didn't care. In his own way, Raph had just stood up the abuse he had received for his whole life. He was no longer timid and he no longer allowed himself to be taken advantage of. The day had been a victory for him.--
"Excuse me, young man, but you may need to leave soon," a worker broke Raph of his thoughts.
"Yes, ma'am, in a little while," he replied returning to his dream world.
-In celebration for his newfound courage, he walked to the mall a few blocks from his house where he went to the food court and bought himself a small ice cream. After that he walked to the department store and to the furniture department where he sat down on his favorite couch.
He sat down on the chair and finished his desert and then closed his eyes and thought about what he was going to do about. He sat quietly thinking of what was to come that night when, and if, he went home. He wasn't so sure he would. His dad would surely find a way to torture him for running away like that. To his father, running was a sign of Raph's weakness. Weakness is something that must be beaten out of him.
Raph fell into a fitful sleep reclined on the couch until he was awakened. "Get up, Raph, I'm going to take you home now," he was roused by his older brother's large hands shaking him out of his dreams.
"No, Leo, just leave me here," Raph groaned sleepily and tried to roll over.
"Up, let's go," Leo insisted and pulled the young boy to his feet.
"I can't go home, Leo, Dad is going to be furious with me," he whined.
"He's gone to the bar for the night. You can sleep in my bed tonight and I will take the floor. Come on..." --
"The world can't possibly be a happy place if a person like you looks so sad," Raph sat up quickly with a haunted look clouding his face.
"I'm sorry, am I in the way?" he asked quickly.
"No, of course you aren't. Raph, don't you remember me?" she pouted slightly, "I thought for sure that you remembered and you were here to see me."
"Oh my god, Becca, it is you. I come every summer and I never find you. I thought for sure you would never come," he smiled broadly at her. She returned the smile and her large brown eyes turned upward in the corners as she did so and she crinkled her small nose which was sprinkled with light freckles. She reached up and grabbed the end of her long blonde hair and rubbed it between her fingers and her thumb, a habit that Raph recognized.
Raph laughed softly at her tendency to rub her hair when she was nervous, "You still play with your hair?"
She smiled even more nervously and shrugged, "I never gave it up. I guess I never saw a reason to." Becca sat down on the sofa next to Raph and put her feet gently in his lap. He picked one of them up slowly and looked at her. He began to massage her food when she nodded her approval. Years ago when they were very young they would come here together to this exact sofa and sit and talk while he massaged her feet. Becca's parents were the owners of the cottage they were staying at right now and they had agreed that they would meet there whenever they could and every year that Raph was in town he would go to the sofa and wait and think of her. He had given up hope that she would come. The last time she had they were only 12 and now that they were 16 they finally met again.
"It's been too long since I've seen your pretty face, Becca, tell me what you've been doing and where you've been," Raph insisted.
Becca blushed slightly, "Well I moved to Michigan when I was 13-"
"You did! Why didn't you tell me?" Raph interrupted.
"I haven't talked to you, I never had the opportunity," she said calmly, "I moved there so that I could go to a special school that goes year round so that I could graduate early. That's why I haven't made it here to see you, I was always in school. Anyways, we have two three hour classes each day and three day weekends. On Mondays and Wednesdays my morning class were non western society and traditions and my afternoon class was Arabic language. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my morning class was history of civilization and my afternoon class was philosophy. Each period began with lecture then debate and discussion. That was the same for my four grade levels and then I graduated last week. I'm supposed to leave in September to go to Middle Eastern countries to help educate young people there."
"Oh, wow, Becca, that's amazing," Raph gasped.
"Not one bit," she smiled and reached out to take his hand which she began to massage and he went on to massage her other foot. "What have you been doing?" she asked brightly.
"I haven't been as good off as you, Becca. I'm so proud of you," he paused. "Well, Mikey got pregnant a year after I saw you last so she and Leo packed up their stuff and moved into an apartment. I followed, naturally, and we lived together and she had the baby. She ended up keeping him, Devon, and she was happy with the decision. Leo was pretty much a father to him even though he and Mikey weren't together again until about a week ago.
"I got heavily involved with the Turtles because I had nothing else to focus on. I can't have any dreams or ambitions," Raph paused when Becca looked unsettled about that comment though she squeezed his hand and encouraged him to continue, "Anything can happen to me. All I can care about is now, not my future. All I have now is Mikey, Leo, Devon, and now Don. He's a new member of the Turtles. I stopped caring about school a long time ago, it's really pointless. People there are horrible and my grades don't mean anything because I have no future." It was strange for Raph to be able to talk to her so easily but it seemed like they had last seen each other only the day before; it was as if no time had gone by. They knew everything about each other's pasts and all of each other's experiences; they had always been able to talk about everything. Conversation was rushed, though, in fear that they would lose each other for another four years and they wanted to say all they could now.
Becca sighed, "There has to be some way for all of you to stop this stupid fighting."
"No Becca, didn't you catch that when I said that Leo was PRETTY MUCH a father to Devon? He's not the father, Shredder is. There's no way to stop it now. Not after two women, maybe more, not after all of our injuries and pain and dedication. We can't stop now because this is too much a part of our life and everything we are and the only aspiration we have. We've worked way too hard to stop now."
Although she looked displeased with this Becca sighed and said, "I suppose it would be foolish to stop now. Maybe, when I come back, I could help you guys out. You know, join the turtles."
"Dear God, no, I wouldn't let you try. The best you can do is stay as far away from the fighting as possible."
She nodded. "Raph," she whispered.
"Hmm," he mumbled quietly.
"It is dangerous for me to be in the Middle East as an American. People are hostile and something could happen. But it is something I want to do and always have. So I came here today to tell you that in a few months my life could possibly be in danger and now hearing that yours is just as much in danger as mine I'm more positive than ever about why I came here. I want to see you as much as possible this summer before I go. I still care about you after all this time, there hasn't been anyone else, and I want to see what that can become before I go half way across the world and wonder. Or worse, something could happen to either of us at any time and we would never know what could have been. I think we have a chance and I want to try it," Becca had rehearsed that over and over again in her mind for the past four years and it was very much a relief to finally be able to get it out.
Raph swallowed hard, this must be a dream. An hour ago he thought that no one could ever care and the one woman who was ever in his life just came back for him. This is what he had dreamed about every night since he had last seen her. He almost had himself convinced that this was another one of his dreams until Becca took in a ragged breath and sat up away from Raph, breaking all physical contact between them. "If you don't want to I understand," she looked down at the ends of her hair that were held in her left hand. "I waited forever to do this. I knew what week you were coming down and so I came and I intended to wait here every day to see if you had forgotten me. If you had, I knew it wasn't meant to be. I thought since you showed up on the first day that meant this was worth a shot. But, like I said, if that isn't what you want I would understand."
Raph scooted closer to her, closing the gap she had just created, "Look at me Becca." She complied and raised her chin to be level with his and then slowly raised her brown eyes to look into his blue ones.
"Becca, of course I want to. I've loved you for years now, and I've come here every chance I had hoping that one of these times you would be here looking for me, too. I hoped that I would be able to scoop you in my arms and say all the right words that would make you mine forever. You just said them first," he bowed his head and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. They both pulled away with relieved smiles on their faces.
"Do you want to go back to the cottage with me?" he rose to his feet. "I think we're having a bonfire tonight it will be fun," he held out his hand to help her up off the sofa.
"That would be wonderful," she smiled and slipped her hand into his as they left the mall and got into the car and drove the short way back to the cottage.
Raph was standing at the counter when Becca came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his body and put her chin on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her and held up a note with the other for her to read. "From Leo," he said quietly.
SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! I HOPE YOU LIKED! REVIEW!
Chapter 8 of You Get Used To It
Enjoy!
"You guys mind if I take off for a little while?" Raph asked of Don and Leo when they had finished carrying in the luggage.
"Sure, man, see you in a little while," Leo handed over his keys to his friend.
"Thanks, Leo, but you don't have to do that," Raph attempted to decline Leo's offer.
"Just go, have fun," Leo pressed his keys into his younger brother's hand. In return, Raph simply gave a grateful nod and left the cabin. Once in the car he let out a sigh of relief and pulled the car onto the main road leading into town.
Raph knew he loved his friends dearly; they were all he had and he never made it a secret that he would give his life for any or all of them—Leo, Mikey, or Don. He would protect any of them before himself. Sometimes, though, he just needed to get away and be by himself. The life he lived brought nothing but stress and isolation. At sixteen, Raph's entire existence was based primarily of risking his safety to protect the lives of others. He had been completely stripped of his childhood when he had barely begun adolescence. Although Raph would never admit it to anybody he felt like a mutant, completely abnormal and almost like he had a flashing sign attached to him blinking "different."
That's the reason why this yearly vacation meant so much to Raph. It gave him an opportunity to be in an environment where nobody knew his face or his lifestyle. One week away as a normal human being gave him the strength to spend the rest of the year selflessly sacrificing for the security of others. In this small southern town, though, he felt something unusual for him. Freedom. He wanted to scream that word at anybody who would look in his direction. FREEDOM! It was an impossible emotion for him to tame and he felt like everyone else had somehow found the trick. Here, though, he could live completely free of the shackles keeping him from living normally. Here he was free from the worry for his life and the lives of the people close to him. This was the only place where he could completely blend in with a crowd and walk down the street anonymously with a feeling of complete safety. Here there was nobody around to ridicule him, nobody to harass him, and no one with any reason to attack him. Normally not only does he have to worry about the members of the Foot Clan but school is a complete nightmare, as well, where the only people he didn't have to alienate himself from were the Turtles, Casey, and April. If he didn't ostracize himself he could possibly be putting others in danger. But here, most of all, this is where he can find her.
Raph pulled into a parking spot at the local mall and shut off the car. He was feeling completely humbled as he walked down the row of cars and into the building. He walked confidently through the hallways of the mall for the simple sake of strolling and studying the faces of the people going by. It wasn't his nature to draw attention to himself even if only by looking directly at other people but here he was unafraid. He had a feeling of being generally relieved and his curiosity was getting the best of him. These surroundings that he considered to be safe for him had a serious effect on his attitude; he felt deeply lost in this exact moment as if he were suspended in time completely content to stare at everything surrounding him. This feeling was ancient to him, though. He could not remember letting himself become so childishly curious in a very long time.
Raph walked unnoticed into the major department store situated in the center of the mall and took the escalator up to the second floor and another escalator to the third. He smiled lightly to himself as he looked around at the furniture section. It was almost ghostly private and he liked that. Maybe this time, she would be here. 'Who are you trying to kid? Of course she won't be here,' his logic told himself. 'Yes she will. Hold onto that, she promised that one day she would come,' his heart retorted. He sighed.
The department was set up in rows divided to look like rooms separated by artificial walls in between with bright paintings hung on them. Raph roamed around the area designated for living rooms looking for his couch.
Finding the sofa he was looking for, Raph reclined and shut his eyes and wove back into memories from his past.
- "Boy, you're completely ignorant. Wait till I get my hands on you," Raph who was sitting on his bed heard his father roar from the other room. He looked around quickly for some form of defense. Nothing, he realized, was here to save him. Leo was gone on a quick run for the turtles and his mom was out somewhere. Not that she would help him, anyways, but it would somehow have been comforting to have his mother. Not this time, though. This time there was nothing to stop his father.
The feeling of hopelessness was not a new feeling for Raph, simply a feeling that he was newly finished with. Raph decided just then that he would wash his hands clean of the feeling of being doomed to the fate that Rick brought to him. He leapt off his bed and scurried across the room and hauled himself out his bedroom window and onto the front lawn. From there, he began to run. His legs took him as far away from his house as possible.
There would be hell to pay when he returned for the stunt he had just pulled, but he didn't care. In his own way, Raph had just stood up the abuse he had received for his whole life. He was no longer timid and he no longer allowed himself to be taken advantage of. The day had been a victory for him.--
"Excuse me, young man, but you may need to leave soon," a worker broke Raph of his thoughts.
"Yes, ma'am, in a little while," he replied returning to his dream world.
-In celebration for his newfound courage, he walked to the mall a few blocks from his house where he went to the food court and bought himself a small ice cream. After that he walked to the department store and to the furniture department where he sat down on his favorite couch.
He sat down on the chair and finished his desert and then closed his eyes and thought about what he was going to do about. He sat quietly thinking of what was to come that night when, and if, he went home. He wasn't so sure he would. His dad would surely find a way to torture him for running away like that. To his father, running was a sign of Raph's weakness. Weakness is something that must be beaten out of him.
Raph fell into a fitful sleep reclined on the couch until he was awakened. "Get up, Raph, I'm going to take you home now," he was roused by his older brother's large hands shaking him out of his dreams.
"No, Leo, just leave me here," Raph groaned sleepily and tried to roll over.
"Up, let's go," Leo insisted and pulled the young boy to his feet.
"I can't go home, Leo, Dad is going to be furious with me," he whined.
"He's gone to the bar for the night. You can sleep in my bed tonight and I will take the floor. Come on..." --
"The world can't possibly be a happy place if a person like you looks so sad," Raph sat up quickly with a haunted look clouding his face.
"I'm sorry, am I in the way?" he asked quickly.
"No, of course you aren't. Raph, don't you remember me?" she pouted slightly, "I thought for sure that you remembered and you were here to see me."
"Oh my god, Becca, it is you. I come every summer and I never find you. I thought for sure you would never come," he smiled broadly at her. She returned the smile and her large brown eyes turned upward in the corners as she did so and she crinkled her small nose which was sprinkled with light freckles. She reached up and grabbed the end of her long blonde hair and rubbed it between her fingers and her thumb, a habit that Raph recognized.
Raph laughed softly at her tendency to rub her hair when she was nervous, "You still play with your hair?"
She smiled even more nervously and shrugged, "I never gave it up. I guess I never saw a reason to." Becca sat down on the sofa next to Raph and put her feet gently in his lap. He picked one of them up slowly and looked at her. He began to massage her food when she nodded her approval. Years ago when they were very young they would come here together to this exact sofa and sit and talk while he massaged her feet. Becca's parents were the owners of the cottage they were staying at right now and they had agreed that they would meet there whenever they could and every year that Raph was in town he would go to the sofa and wait and think of her. He had given up hope that she would come. The last time she had they were only 12 and now that they were 16 they finally met again.
"It's been too long since I've seen your pretty face, Becca, tell me what you've been doing and where you've been," Raph insisted.
Becca blushed slightly, "Well I moved to Michigan when I was 13-"
"You did! Why didn't you tell me?" Raph interrupted.
"I haven't talked to you, I never had the opportunity," she said calmly, "I moved there so that I could go to a special school that goes year round so that I could graduate early. That's why I haven't made it here to see you, I was always in school. Anyways, we have two three hour classes each day and three day weekends. On Mondays and Wednesdays my morning class were non western society and traditions and my afternoon class was Arabic language. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my morning class was history of civilization and my afternoon class was philosophy. Each period began with lecture then debate and discussion. That was the same for my four grade levels and then I graduated last week. I'm supposed to leave in September to go to Middle Eastern countries to help educate young people there."
"Oh, wow, Becca, that's amazing," Raph gasped.
"Not one bit," she smiled and reached out to take his hand which she began to massage and he went on to massage her other foot. "What have you been doing?" she asked brightly.
"I haven't been as good off as you, Becca. I'm so proud of you," he paused. "Well, Mikey got pregnant a year after I saw you last so she and Leo packed up their stuff and moved into an apartment. I followed, naturally, and we lived together and she had the baby. She ended up keeping him, Devon, and she was happy with the decision. Leo was pretty much a father to him even though he and Mikey weren't together again until about a week ago.
"I got heavily involved with the Turtles because I had nothing else to focus on. I can't have any dreams or ambitions," Raph paused when Becca looked unsettled about that comment though she squeezed his hand and encouraged him to continue, "Anything can happen to me. All I can care about is now, not my future. All I have now is Mikey, Leo, Devon, and now Don. He's a new member of the Turtles. I stopped caring about school a long time ago, it's really pointless. People there are horrible and my grades don't mean anything because I have no future." It was strange for Raph to be able to talk to her so easily but it seemed like they had last seen each other only the day before; it was as if no time had gone by. They knew everything about each other's pasts and all of each other's experiences; they had always been able to talk about everything. Conversation was rushed, though, in fear that they would lose each other for another four years and they wanted to say all they could now.
Becca sighed, "There has to be some way for all of you to stop this stupid fighting."
"No Becca, didn't you catch that when I said that Leo was PRETTY MUCH a father to Devon? He's not the father, Shredder is. There's no way to stop it now. Not after two women, maybe more, not after all of our injuries and pain and dedication. We can't stop now because this is too much a part of our life and everything we are and the only aspiration we have. We've worked way too hard to stop now."
Although she looked displeased with this Becca sighed and said, "I suppose it would be foolish to stop now. Maybe, when I come back, I could help you guys out. You know, join the turtles."
"Dear God, no, I wouldn't let you try. The best you can do is stay as far away from the fighting as possible."
She nodded. "Raph," she whispered.
"Hmm," he mumbled quietly.
"It is dangerous for me to be in the Middle East as an American. People are hostile and something could happen. But it is something I want to do and always have. So I came here today to tell you that in a few months my life could possibly be in danger and now hearing that yours is just as much in danger as mine I'm more positive than ever about why I came here. I want to see you as much as possible this summer before I go. I still care about you after all this time, there hasn't been anyone else, and I want to see what that can become before I go half way across the world and wonder. Or worse, something could happen to either of us at any time and we would never know what could have been. I think we have a chance and I want to try it," Becca had rehearsed that over and over again in her mind for the past four years and it was very much a relief to finally be able to get it out.
Raph swallowed hard, this must be a dream. An hour ago he thought that no one could ever care and the one woman who was ever in his life just came back for him. This is what he had dreamed about every night since he had last seen her. He almost had himself convinced that this was another one of his dreams until Becca took in a ragged breath and sat up away from Raph, breaking all physical contact between them. "If you don't want to I understand," she looked down at the ends of her hair that were held in her left hand. "I waited forever to do this. I knew what week you were coming down and so I came and I intended to wait here every day to see if you had forgotten me. If you had, I knew it wasn't meant to be. I thought since you showed up on the first day that meant this was worth a shot. But, like I said, if that isn't what you want I would understand."
Raph scooted closer to her, closing the gap she had just created, "Look at me Becca." She complied and raised her chin to be level with his and then slowly raised her brown eyes to look into his blue ones.
"Becca, of course I want to. I've loved you for years now, and I've come here every chance I had hoping that one of these times you would be here looking for me, too. I hoped that I would be able to scoop you in my arms and say all the right words that would make you mine forever. You just said them first," he bowed his head and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. They both pulled away with relieved smiles on their faces.
"Do you want to go back to the cottage with me?" he rose to his feet. "I think we're having a bonfire tonight it will be fun," he held out his hand to help her up off the sofa.
"That would be wonderful," she smiled and slipped her hand into his as they left the mall and got into the car and drove the short way back to the cottage.
Raph was standing at the counter when Becca came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his body and put her chin on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her and held up a note with the other for her to read. "From Leo," he said quietly.
SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! I HOPE YOU LIKED! REVIEW!