Hawkeye cracked an eye open at the sound of a listless rain pattering on the window by the bed.
Then he heard movement down in the kitchen, pans being dropped and the radio playing low. Margaret was still curled into the crook of his back, so it had to be one of the kids. He sat up to go investigate but only got as far as swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Daniel Pierce would be buried in a cold rain, damn the permafrost. Hawkeye screwed his eyes shut, willing himself to be strong like the rest of his family. He was concentrating so hard he didn't feel the bed shift.
"You're going to be fine," Margaret said in a deep, sleepy voice. "Let the rest of us be the strong ones today, OK?"
She knew. They were at the point now they could finish each other's sentences. She knew what he was internalizing.
"It's too cold," he said. The tears were welling up in the corner of his eyes.
"I know. Come here, come here."
She pulled him back down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him, tight. One hand stroked his hair and the other rubbed his back. His body relaxed, as it always did with her touch. She was so beautiful to him. She always had been. Even before there was even an inkling there would even be a Hawkeye and Margaret Pierce. Even on those terrible blood-spattered nights in the operating room when they were so tired and ragged. Even those scattered times in her tent, when the nights would get too lonely and desperate for them to deny each other.
Misses Hawkeye Pierce. Major Margaret Houlihan. Best nurse in Korea and one of the best nurses in the country. Mother of his children. Brilliant town councilwoman. Maker of oatmeal. Still bossy and opinionated as ever.
Hawkeye kissed her. He couldn't convey all he felt for this woman but kissing seemed to be the right thing to do.
"Oh God…did Ellie say Charles might be coming up?" Margaret stiffened. Charles Winchester always took the early train.
"He's seen us in our skivvies plenty of times. I know he got a good look at you in a towel once."
She grunted and got up. "At least let's get some breakfast together before the natives get restless," Margaret said, tying on a robe and pinning up her hair. Her stiff upper lip was kicking in gear.
"Someone's making something down there," Hawkeye smiled, putting on his own robe.
"Making a mess I'll bet."
To their surprise, the kitchen wasn't messy at all. The coffee was brewing, the woodstove was blazing and Ellie was standing there in her own bathrobe supervising it all. "Hey," she said, smiling a little.
Hawkeye couldn't hide his surprise. "Hey yourself, kid," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "Is your brother up?"
"He's out fetching firewood."
Margaret didn't say anything. She was either stunned both kids were up early, Ellie was making breakfast or Ben was actually doing something without being ordered to. A warm cinnamon smell was starting to fill the kitchen, mingling with the coffee and the smoky scent from the stove. "I know what you've been hiding…one of those big crumbles from the bakery," Hawkeye smiled. It was one of his favorite treats and Margaret was never known to turn one down either.
"There are two just in case Dr. Winchester shows up."
Margaret smiled and when Ellie turned to the sink, she tugged Hawkeye's wrist and mouthed the word "strong". Ben came in, dripping wet and laden with firewood. His sandy colored hair was slightly curly in the dampness.
"Margaret, you sure he's not Trapper's kid? I'm seeing a little Trapper there. You guys have a little hanky panky on the beach I don't know about?" Hawkeye said, nudging her. Another family joke. Ben didn't look much like a Pierce and he looked everything like a Houlihan. Margaret looked around, making sure the kids were occupied.
"I know whose son he is. Look at all the water he dripped on the floor and the mud and his boots are just tumbled in the corner. Really, was there ever any question?"
Hawkeye smiled. He even knew where and when Ben was conceived. Right on the beach. She was wearing that red dress and he couldn't keep his hands to himself. It was worth the sunburn on his ass.
He was even pretty sure Ellie was conceived at the drive-in during To Catch a Thief. Hitchcock would explain a lot. After Korea it seemed like they couldn't see enough movies after all the crappy ones they had to endure. When A Star Is Born came out Margaret saw it three times, twice by herself. When they got the TV they'd plan evenings around it, making popcorn and lighting a huge fire. That continued after Ellie and Ben came along and even now when Carol Burnett was on all of them would gather, even though the kids took up a lot of space on the couch.
"Hawkeye, you're drifting on us again."
" I was thinking of how those wild things two came to be."
Margaret blushed and looked at the floor. Sex was easy for them. Everything else was hard.
"Annnnnd here's Johnny!" Ellie said, plopping the crumble in the middle of the table. Ben handed out plates and forks and poured the coffee. Margaret cut a huge slice for herself and Hawkeye just nibbled on a slice from the edge. No one said much. All the emotions swirled around them. Daniel was a touchstone and part of all of them. Imagining him gone was an impossibility. It was hard to grasp he wouldn't be over that morning, looking for a cup of coffee and talking to Margaret while she read the paper. He encouraged her to run for council. She proved tireless and compassionate, an advocate for the tiny free clinic, rescue services and ecology, even though the latter was due to Ellie's encouragement.
Daniel was also the impetus for saving thousands of lives in battle. After bothering his son to write down and document the medical techniques and practices at the 4077th, Hawkeye finally took the hint and collaborated with Margaret, Charles, BJ and Potter. It grew from a few papers to an elaborate manual, full of personal asides and observations. Hawkeye and Charles and sometimes just Margaret would make appearances to present the material to military doctors or even inner city emergency room staffs. It brought Hawkeye a sense of fulfillment and closure. He was even thinking about writing a book about the 4077th, but having to re-hash all those painful memories stopped him cold.
"I guess we should get dressed," Margaret said softly. None of them moved. Tears began to roll down Ben's face and Ellie got up to look out the window at the ocean. Hawkeye joined her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.