Gerry walked into work the next morning with a spring in his step happy that Sandra had come round to the idea of being his pretend wife for the magazine competition.
"Good morning Guv" he said rather upbeat for first thing in the morning.
"Good morning Gerry" she said in her usual morning manner.
"Are we alright to discuss the arrangements for the competition because I need to send off my entry before the end of the week"
"Yeah let me set Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee up with the joyful task of tracking down George Shawditch and then we can discuss it, if that's going to shut you up"
"Nice one Guv, fancy a cuppa" he said exited at the fact Detective Superintendent was actually going to pretend to be him wife and what's more as it was going in a magazine the whole world and his own wife, would know all about it.
"Yeah, go on, cheers Gerry"
Now that Jack and Brian were out the way Gerry pulled up a chair at his boss's desk.
"Right Gerry, so what is it I have to do for this competition thing then" she said not showing the same enthusiasm for it Gerry had.
"Actually not a lot if the like my application and I am accepted the will come round to my flat and observe me bake and you just have to stand there and look pretty. No hardship for you Guv'nor"
"Is that all"
"Well and they will wanna interview us about our relationship"
"So you went to all that trouble of taking me to a posh restaurant and to The Phantom of the bloody Opera just to persuade me to stand and 'look pretty'" for some reason Sandra felt short changed in this deal she was expecting him to tell her she would have to bake something as well.
"Well yeah but it was a good evening wasn't it"
"I can't deny you that Gerry was that all there was to discuss?"
"Well actually Guv I was wondering if you would actually help me write my entry as seen as I have to write about our marriage we might as well do it together as they could ask us about it"
"Okay then Gerry, I'm rather good at creative writing actually"
"Brilliant Guv and I never knew you had a talent for it"
"I have had to acquire it when writing up case reports as I can hardly tell Strickland and the commissioner all about Brian's, Jack's and yours tendency not to gather evidence in the legit way" Sandra was still waiting for the day where they handled a case completely by the rule book.
"Fair point that one Guv shall we get it on, I mean get on with it"
"Gerry, if I knew that the talk of marriage did this to you I would have never agreed to it"
"Well you know me and marriage Sandra"
"Yeah a match made in hell" she scoffed.
"Are you saying our marriage was made in hell" he joked.
"Put that in your entry thing, go on I dare you"
"Sandra I want to win it not look like a complete burke in the national press"
"Gerry, you already look like a complete burke so what difference will it make to a few more thousand people"
"Yes, yes, thank you, ha ha shouldn't we be getting on with my entry"
"Alright Gerry don't get your knickers in a twist, what do you want to say"
"Well first off how old do you think I could get away with being 48, 49"
"Ha! You would be lucky more like 68"
"56" he asked through gritted teeth knowing what Sandra would say to that.
"Put what you want, it will be your funeral"
"56 it is then, right how long have we been married and when and where did we meet"
"Christ, what is this, twenty questions"
"Sandra, how many times, we have to get this right"
"Yes alright Gerry, we were introduced by mutual friends at a party 8 years ago and we have been married for 3 years now"
"Wow, you have given this some serious thought haven't you" Gerry couldn't help but laugh, Sandra Pullman the woman who was the least likely of all the women he knew was the last he would expect to think about marriage even if it was only a sham one.
"I might have given it a bit of thought last night, the tiniest thought of course"
"Of course, right this brings us to the next question where did we get married"
"At a beach in the Tropic at sunset" she said rather too quickly.
"Sandra it's gotta be believable"
"Alright, you've done this three times already this is probably the closest I will get to witnessing a wedding Gerry do you really think we could pull this off?"
"Yeah course, although we will need pictures of us, you know together to put around my gaff when the photographers come"
"Really"
"I'm afraid so"
"Well I guess it gets out off work for an afternoon and Brian can take the photos you know how he likes to be involved, oh Gerry there is one thing wedding photos what will do about them"
"Well we can always say the mother in law has got them"
"Would they buy that"
"Yeah I'm sure fill 'em up with cake and you charm them with your dazzling smile and we can't go wrong"
"You said I had given it some thought but you really have this planned don't you"
"Yeah I do actually, let's bring this competition on" he imitating the way young people had said this on the telly Gerry thought he was cool doing this but Sandra thought of him as being even more of a burke for it.
Hope this is still going okay!