Special thanks to A698, missa27, SnoodleVamp, RosalynB, xxxcrybabyxxx11, Sunayna4sho, Lena1997, DoveLightMist, Vampire Academy Lover 13, mitil, ClauILoveDimitriBelikov, Elfina01, GoctoHostapus, Beset, and Keish.

This Chapter is dedicated to missa27, sunayno4sho, Lena1997, and ClauILoveDimitriBelikov.

A big shout out to Lena1997 for becoming my beta!

As you guys know, I like to start the chapter out with a verse from a song to set the mood for the chapter. Usually I just type out a single verse, but tonight it's a bit different. I typed out the majority of this song because it really helps set the atmosphere for the chapter. I highly suggest that you go listen to it while you read the latest installment. The song is called LAST KISS by TAYLOR SWIFT. And long space downs, signal a time jump. Nothing major, but a few hours or a day have passed between paragraphs.

Chapter Three: Flowers for a Ghost

"The words that you whispered for just us to know. You told me you loved me so why did you go . . . away? And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have our last . . . kiss. Never imagined we'd end like. . . this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.

I do remember the swing in your step. The life of the party, you're showing off again. And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in. I'm not much for dancing but for you I did. Because I love your hand-shake, meeting my father. I love how you walk with your hands in you pockets. How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something. There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions.

And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have our last . . . kiss. Never imagined we'd end like. . . this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe. And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. Hope it's nice where you are. And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day. And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and town. But I never planned on you changing your mind." - Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

Trekking four and a half miles flanked by a group of moody guardians, is not something I consider fun. Neither is trekking four and a half miles flanked by a group of moody guardians while being HANDCUFFED and listening to said guardians comment on the impending doom that is the future of my career.

I knew the moment I was taken into custody, I would never be a Guardian again. It didn't matter that I had left the wards during my off time, it didn't matter that I had given everything I had into protecting Moroi, I had several 'delinquent-tendencies' on my record. And it was all finally coming back to bite me in the ass. No Moroi would want me as a guardian, I had run away with an underage Lissa when we were in the academy, then I dropped out and ran again when Dimitri was awakened, and then I was accused of killing the queen and to top it all off, I broke out of jail and ran then too. The only good part of my wrong doings, was that no one knew about what had happened to Victor. No one knew I had killed him while trying to rescue Jill, the illegitimate daughter of Eric Dragomir.

"You did what you had to."

Shock caused my body to freeze on the spot. That was Dimitri's voice. I frantically searched the horizon, searching for him. The guardians looked at me with puzzled looks. Hadn't they heard him?

"Keep moving Hathaway." A pressure at my shoulder made me move forward once again. My shoulders sagged slightly when I realized, Dimitri hadn't been there. It was only a memory.

The journey back to court was haunted with memories. Dimitri and I after I was shot and he was taking care of me, when he ran me to the infirmary after Natalie had attacked me while freeing Victor. The night of the cabin. When he was taken. Him being restored, us at the cafe. Lissa's coronation. The hunting trip with my parents.

I was so wrapped up with my memories that I hadn't noticed when we entered the gates, or when the Guardians deposited me in a room with the council.

"Ms. Hathaway. You are aware of why we have called you here today?" I simply nodded. Yeah I knew alright. They brought me here on some bogus charge. "Are you aware then, that many of us believe that you should be stripped of both your rank and title and be placed at a desk job, filing paper-work?" That made me snap my head up. I glared at the Moroi surrounding me. Each of the faces held a similar countenance. They had already decided what they wanted to do with me. Their faces said they had been waiting for me to screw up.

"I propose something different." I jumped. Hans, the head Guardian stood at attention to the Moroi council. I hadn't noticed him in the room. Some Guardian I turned out to be, first i forget my stake and now this. Pathetic.

"Proceed, then. Lets hear it."

"Although she has been known to act out, Lord Ivashkov, Ms. Hathaway was trained by one of the best Guardians we have ever seen in the Moroi court. In her past the good she has done for our world far out does the bad. Yes, she ran with the Queen when they were teenagers, but in the end discovered a plot by Victor Dashkov to miss use the Queens abilities. She left again after Dimitri Belikov was turned but in doing that she uncovered a way to revert a Strigoi back to their original form. When she broke out of jail during the investigation of our previous queens murder, she found and brought the true culprit to justice. Yes she has made mistakes, but each mistake has brought us to a better society."

"We are well aware of what Hathaway has accomplished. Please get to the point." Hans cleared his throat.

"Yes sir. I propose that Hathaway be sent back to St. Vladimirs." Murmurs burst from the Moroi. "She could teach the trial class how to fight and defend themselves?"

Trial Class? What the hell was a trial class?

A female to the far right spoke, "Are you proposing that we put a child who has neglected her duties several times over in charge of teaching our Moroi class to fight? That is preposterous! How are we to know that she would actually stay! Nothing in her record gives us any indication that we should give her an honor such as this!"

"But she has been taught by the best. The techniques she has been taught could very well prove to be invaluable in the future. Why waste a guardian?"

I had three hours to get ready and say goodbye. But the only people I wanted to say goodbye to weren't there. It was still hard to believe that the Council had agreed with Hans in the end.

Looking in the mirror now, I barely recognized myself. All that remained of my once full curves was a thin- almost Moroi like frame. My skin had lost much of it's pigment. My eyes, once a sparkling, chocolate brown were now muddy brown. No blush to my cheeks, stringy hair rather than the long soft locks I had previously had.

Once I believed I was pretty, beautiful even. I didn't feel beautiful.

"You're beautiful Roza. So beautiful, it hurts sometimes."

I sank to the floor, my hands covering my mouth as though they could hold in my sobs. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that it would keep me from seeing his memory. I once heard a saying about how time heals all wounds, how time makes memories fade. But it seemed like the more time that passed, the more vivid the past became.

On the way to the academy, most of what I heard were comments about Dimitri and I. Some okay, most bad. And some, even I wouldn't repeat. What would Dimitri have said? What would he have done?

"Don't worry, Roza, I'm not afraid. I'll take whatever heat they give me over being with you. It's worth it."

Of course, another memory. I could almost feel his arms around me, I could breathe his scent, almost smell his after-shave. Tears stung the back of my eyes but I refused to release them. I'm Rosemarie Hathaway, I don't show my weaknesses and I sure as hell don't cry. I wasn't just depressed, I was slowly going insane.

I stumbled down the corridor, to my assigned room. I distantly remembered the times I had been in this part of the academy. One in particular stood from the rest: Victors Lust Charm. The memory of that night tugged at my mind, there was something I should remember about the number on the key. It shouldn't have felt any different from any other key I've ever had. . . but that number seemed so familiar. The answer hit me like a train and I gawked at the little piece of metal in horror.

481 was Dimitri's old room.

I stood in the hall, unable to believe how cruel life could be.

It took me a while to gain the courage to open the door, even longer to gather my wits enough to actually enter. The room was colder than I had remembered it. Back when Dimitri lived here, the room had a warmth to it; one that I would always remember. Looking around the room now, I realized that it no longer held any sort of comfort, only the solid, empty dread that was meant to remind me of all I had lost. But a part of me still tried to find what I could of it's former resident. When I tried hard enough, I could see the old, worn western that Dimitri had loved on the night stand; but when I blinked, they were gone, leaving an empty, dusty space instead.

My belongings had already been moved to the room, my clothes placed in the closet when I looked. While trying to put the clothes in an order where I could remember them, a piece of brown leather caught my eyes. Tucked in the back of the small space, was a long leather coat. I gently pulled it out to get a better look at the coat. The leather had faded somewhat in some places, and it was too western, and much too long to be mine. But it had a sense of familiarity to it.

A duster.

Dimitri's duster.

The very same one he had always worn during his shifts. At first I pondered how he had forgotten it when he packed. The man could face a Strigoi army, no problem. But a day without his duster? End of the world. A small chuckle escaped my mouth as I remembered that I had taken it out for dry-cleaning. This last piece of my Russian god was in my hands only because I had lucked out and taken it to the cleaners.

I struggled to put the duster on, my arms refused to lift, and I'm sure if my ribs could talk they'd be yelling profanities in seven different languages. But the false sense of completion I felt when I buttoned it was staggering. For a moment my broken heart seemed to heal. For that small moment I wasn't alone in the academy dorms wrapped in my mentors old jacket. I was in my old apartment back at court with Dimitri's arm around me.

My world dimmed when I moved my arm to snuggle more into the piece of cloth. The bolt of pain jolted me out of my memories. The warm, masculine scent of Dimitri washed away, the room pastel wall replaced with cold white walls, and our queen sized bed replaced with a barren twin mattress as I faded out of my apartment and back into my cold room.

"I've given up on you. Loves fades, mine has."

I guess it really does doesn't it?

With a small sob I forced my aching body to my bed. Or rather Dimitri's old bed.

It wasn't a comfortable mattress. There were lumps in random places and laying down hurt. The tree's continued to scratch at the window and I don't think the wind ever seemed so vicious. The room was cold, but between the flimsy comforter and Dimitri's old duster, I was barely warm enough to drift off; I gradually became less aware of the aches in my body. Being here was going to mentally torture me, but somehow being here made me feel a small sliver of Dimitri was close.

Why I couldn't let him go? When would it all just go away?

For the first time, I actually wished that I was the invisible person I hated being just weeks ago.