CHAPTER TEN
Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams"
Author: Michelle Heath
Rating: MA for adult situations and language
Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.
Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!
Date Written: July 9, 2012
(Worry on their faces, Libby and Mike look from Danny to one another and Libby stands up and walks over to rest her hands on the deck railing as she gazes out at the ocean for a few moments to gather her thoughts. Danny moves his gaze from Libby to the Mike and mentally kicks himself for causing the pain he sees on the faces of his in-laws. Finally, Libby turns back toward the area where Danny and Mike are sitting.)
"This is my fault, Danny. I never sat Caroline down and really talked to her about the four babies I lost before she was born. If I had, maybe she wouldn't be so desperate now and neither of you would be so unhappy. . . . . When she was ten, Caroline came home from school one afternoon crying and, when I asked her what was wrong, she told me that some of the other children had told her she didn't have any brothers or sisters because she was such a bad child that her father and I hadn't wanted any more children. Naturally, I immediately told her that what those children had said wasn't true and that her father and I loved her very much, but . . . She was devastated. I wanted to explain why she was an only child, but, she was only ten years old! Can you imagine trying to explain something like that to Grace? I called Mike and told him what was going on and he immediately left the base and came home so that we could talk with Caroline together, but, by the time Mike got there; Caroline had stopped crying and was in her room doing homework. Never, as long as I live, will I forget the look in her eyes when we went into her room to talk with her; she looked so hurt and . . Betrayed."
"Neither of us was thinking straight because we were so upset and angry at those children, and I'm afraid we handled the situation badly. We told Caroline that we had wanted to have more children, but God had chosen to bless us with just one and that she was so precious to us. Even at such a young age, Caroline had a stubborn streak a mile wide and Libby and I both knew that she didn't believe a word we said. At the time, apparently, she believed what those horrible children had told her rather than what Libby and I were telling her."
"Mike and I did our best to reassure Caroline that she was our beautiful, sweet little girl who we loved with all our hearts, but nothing we said seemed to get through to her. We finally decided that we should just drop the subject for the evening and, hopefully, things would be better in the morning. Caroline seemed perfectly fine the next day when I dropped her off at school and I foolishly believed that all was well, that Caroline had completely forgotten all about it and I made no effort whatsoever to try and explain things to her."
(By now, Libby's tears are flowing unchecked and Mike is trying awfully hard to keep his at bay. While Danny is grateful for the information Libby and Mike are imparting to him, he's also very upset that he is the cause of the painful memories they are now reliving. He has little time to dwell on his feelings, however, as Libby picks up her story again.)
"A couple of years later, both Mike and Jonathan Murdock were assigned to the Pentagon, to the Joint Chiefs' staff, Caroline and Sam become friends, and Caroline was happier than either of us had seen her in a long time. As you know, Sam was also an only child and I think that fact is why the two of them bonded so quickly and so well. They became inseparable, and, well, the rest, as they say, is history. . The subject of why Caroline was an only child didn't come up again until we all got home from Germany when she and Sam and Tony were injured on that op and she asked if we could talk about my miscarriages. I mistakenly thought Caroline wanted to know what she should or shouldn't say to Sam so as not to upset her anymore than she already was after losing the baby, but I've come to realize that what Caroline really wanted to know was what her chances of having a child of her own were after I'd lost four. I failed my child yet again; I threw away an opportunity to help her understand that my fate did not have to be hers. It seems that I've failed you, too, Danny, and I am so very sorry."
"You haven't failed anyone, Libby, and this is not your fault! You're an amazing woman and an amazing mother. I can't begin to imagine the pain you've both gone through and I'm the one who's sorry to have caused you more."
"You're our son now, Danny. Never hesitate to come to us with anything; no matter how painful or difficult it may be. We're all family and family sticks together no matter what."
"I appreciate that, Mike, but I would rather cut off my right arm than hurt either one of you."
"Pain is an inevitable part of life, Son, just as is joy. Sometimes, you have to endure nearly unbearable pain in order to know exquisite joy. What you have to decide is whether or not you're willing to do what's necessary to get to the joy."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, all. Well, we've reached the end of chapter ten and I hope you are all enjoying this story so far. I have received several private messages so far, in addition to the public reviews, which have indicated that the majority of you like this storyline. A few of you have requested more involvement from the other couples and Gracie, (don't worry, she's going to be showing up soon!), and some of you want to see some "serious Sam and Steve". I will do my best to accommodate all of you. If you have any suggestions, or something you'd like to see included in the storyline, please let me know. You can always send me a private message if you're not comfortable sharing your ideas in the public reviews. I love you all and so appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. Hopefully, I will be able to continue posting on a more frequent basis with this story. Thank you all so much! Michelle