Nightmare within a Dream
By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
Chapter 2: Awoken Fear
Sunlight steaming across her face woke Casey up. Last night...had felt like some dream she'd been wanting for a few years. She moved her hand above the covers and the diamond shined in the light. She sighed happily, snuggling back into her to sleep a few more hours.
Alex quietly sighed Casey's name.
Casey hugged her tighter, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "I love you."
"..I love you too." Alex said sleepily, stretching a little.
Casey sat up. Suddenly, something didn't feel right. She got out of bed, tied a robe around herself and went out to the living room where a piece of paper had been slid under the door. Picking it up, her hands shook. "ALEX!"
Alex appeared a moment later, a sheet pulled around herself. "What?" She spoke groggily, rubbing her face.
Casey's hand still shook, her color as white as a sheet before falling back onto the couch. "H-how? He-he's...how did he...?" she stammered.
Alex reached forward to take the piece of paper from her, resting a steady hand on her shoulder as she read it.
"H-how?" she repeated. "He shouldn't be out f-for..."
"He...I'll call...someone." Alex dropped the paper onto the table.
Casey shook her head. "Screw courtesy, protocol. Get dressed. We need to see Liz. I don't care what time it is..." she said stalking back to the bedroom to get dressed.
Alex read the letter once more, her hands shaking.
Casey dressed quickly, the note coming to mind: 'You screwed everything up! You weren't supposed to save her! I'm the better person, the BETTER CHOICE! I'll find you soon enough, Casey, and when I do, your Alex won't tear us apart anymore... Mark'
Alex walked into the bedroom, stilling her hands and opening her arms
Casey collapsed into them, crying, wrapping her arms tightly around her. "Wh-why did this have to h-happen? C-can't he see I-I wa-want nothing to do with him? What am I supposed to do?"
"It will be ok, Case. I promise. We'll...move if we have to. Get away from here. He won't trouble us again."
She shook her head. "No matter where we go, he'll find us! He even found us on vacation!"
"Because I left a trail. Shh, it's going to be ok. Please. I promise. I'll look after you."
"I-I know, but y-you can't every second! Alex...i-if that does...you'll still want me, right?"
"Always."
"Y-you're sure?"
"Always, Casey Novak."
She sniffed. "Can we please go see her?"
Alex nodded, rubbing her back for a moment before pulling away. "You go and wash your face and I'll get dressed."
She nodded, walking into the bathroom and walking out two minutes later, leaning on the frame.
Alex was trying to do up her buttons, swearing quietly to herself.
"Here, let me help." Casey walked over and easily did up the buttons. "Glad I'm not the only one who's nervous."
Alex smiled, taking Casey's hand and squeezing it. "It's going to be okay. No matter what, I'll be with you."
She nodded.
Fifteen minutes later they were at Liz Donelly's door, knocking repeatedly until she asked who it was through the door.
"Liz, it's Alex and Casey. It's important," Alex said, wrapping her arm tightly around Casey as they heard locks coming undone and saw the door open to reveal their boss in a not-so-neat manner, with her hair sticking up in the back and in a blue robe.
"This had better be good. I don't just let people into my private residence unannounced," she said gruffly. "What is it?"
Casey handed her the note and Alex pulled her in as she walked inside, closing the door behind them.
Liz read the note, giving a quiet groan. "How did he..." She sighed, looking up at Casey for a moment, before looking at Alex. "Go and take a seat in the room to the left. I'm going to make some calls."
They nodded, Alex pulling a nearly statuesque Casey with her as they sat down. Casey leaned into her. "I don't want this! We were fine for 365 days without him!"
Alex held her close, rocking her gently, and was glad when she grew quiet.
A short time later Liz walked in. Hastily dressed, she still didn't look like her normal self as she sat opposite them.
Casey looked toward her, repositioning her head on Alex's shoulder.
"Like we said earlier," Alex apologized, "we're sorry it's so early, but this is important."
"I called the prison he was in. He..." She was silent for a moment, then continued, "He started some sort of relationship with a female officer. He escaped several days ago. I don't know why none of us were informed."
"Maybe...they didn't know he was that much of a threat. I-I mean, surely they have others to look out for," Casey whispered.
"Casey—"
"But Alex it's true! There are people in Rikers who have much more serious convictions! And if he had a relationship with a female officer, she was probably blinded."
Alex nodded. "Okay, forget that for a second, what are we going to do? He shot me and...Casey...I..."
"I've got someone going over to talk to the officer now. She disappeared with him for a couple of days but then turned herself in, so she might be able to shed some light on what he's thinking..."
Alex nodded. "That's...a start, but what do you want us to do? If we go in, we might be in even more danger."
"Perhaps go to a hotel? I would say you could stay here, but he's been here before. I'll get some officers sent to you."
Alex nodded. "Would we be able to stop by the house first?"
"...I think perhaps it's best not to. I'll get someone else to get things for you. You can make a list later."
Alex nodded again. "So are we going to be guarded outside, someone in the room, what?" She went to stand, but Casey pulled her back down. She looked at her. "Okay, I won't go anywhere."
"I don't know. I...need to make more calls, find things out. In the mean time, just...get out of here. Find somewhere to stay. Do you need a coat, Casey?" She noticed her shivering.
She nodded. "Please?" Alex pulled her phone from her pocket, dialing Olivia as Liz slipped a coat around Casey's shoulders.
"Benson." Olivia answered breathlessly, stopping her morning jog.
"It's Alex. Casey and I are at Liz's. We need you and Elliot to come get us immediately! It's an emergency! Still's broken out of Rikers. Casey got a note."
Olivia frowned for a moment until she suddenly realized who she was talking about. "I'll be right there."
"Hurry!" Alex said, hanging up. "I don't suppose we could get a cup of coffee while we wait?"
"Demanding, aren't you?" Liz asked, but with a smile, before leaving the room.
Casey looked up at her. "A-Alex? Who's coming?"
"Olivia and Elliot." She sat next to her again.
Casey instinctively moved into her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. "I know what you're thinking and, no, I don't care where we are. I'm worried and terrified and hold me dammit!" she growled, but ended in a whine.
Alex, remembering her time in witness protection, held her tightly, burying her head.
Casey sighed, shaking a bit, remembering how it had felt – not at all fondly – when he'd gotten too close on their vacation. "I thought we were done with him. Thought I'd never hear his name again. I just..."
Alex stayed silent.
Casey wrapped her arms around her tighter. "Please, say that no matter what, you'll always be here? I know you said it before, but... Damn, I've faced worse suspects than this, but I guess...experience changes things. I just feel like I'm surrounded by people who have – and will – do anything to help me, so why should I feel like this, you know? But..."
Alex still didn't speak, having flash backs to the time she was ripped away from everyone and everything she knew, unable to say goodbye.
Casey felt her shaking, her breathing become shallow. "Alex? It's going to be okay. I won't let them take you again."
Alex had been reluctant to mention it, but her time away had come up on one or two occasions. She didn't give specifics of what she'd done while she was away, but the events leading up to it were clear.
"If it...I can't go again, Casey. I can't do it."
"Can't? I thought you said you didn't have a choice last time?"
"I didn't, but this time...I won't go. Whatever they say, if it comes up. I can't do it again, Casey."
"Because of me?"
Alex lowered her head.
Casey hugged her tighter, kissing her temple. "I know what you just said. I understand it. I have...a condition - not saying they'd do it. W-would you like me to tell you?"
She lifted her eyes to look into hers, nodding cautiously.
Casey smiled, bringing her rings into view. "Well, why not just speed it up? We could - realistically - be married, but still take everything slow. Married, but with different names of course. Then they couldn't tear us apart. Ever."
Alex looked into her eyes earnestly for a few moments, then lowered her eyes. "I said I would never leave you, and I meant that Casey, but everyone else...I have friends, family...I can't leave them again.
Casey lifted her chin to meet her eyes. "Okay, I understand that. I mean, I don't want to leave anybody either. I only said that as a 'have to'. The speed, of course. Someday, I would actually like to."
Alex tightened her grip on Casey and buried her head once more.'
She sighed. "I'm sorry. I just thought..."
Before they could talk more, Liz returned with coffee.
Casey repositioned herself next to Alex, wrapping an arm around her, taking the coffee with her other hand. "Thank you."
A short time later, there was a knock on the door and Elliot and Olivia entered the house.
Casey looked over, standing up, this time, pulling Alex with her.
She was left standing awkwardly when Olivia pulled Alex into her arms and held her tightly. Elliot spoke quietly to Liz.
Casey crossed her arms, staring at Alex, unknowingly, jealous. "What? Am I not here?"
Alex spoke quietly to Olivia who whispered reassuringly to her, tucking hair behind her ear. Elliot approached Casey and rubbed her arm. "Come on. Let's go."
She bit her lip, looking at Alex, nodding. "We're going together, right? Like...to a hotel or something? I don't know what she told her.
"Yep, we've sorted something out."
She nodded. "Good. Hopefully this is solved soon." She sighed. "Thanks Liz."
In the car, they sat on either side of the backseat, and when Alex reached for Casey's hand, she pulled it away. Alex looked towards her, but didn't think much of it and turned to look out the window.
Casey wasn't exactly sure why, but she was jealous. Okay, maybe hurt was a better word. Alex hadn't even hesitated, walked straight into Olivia's arms, without even a glance toward her. They were close friends. She didn't feel threatened by her, but there was still something that made her uneasy.
She wanted nothing more than to move closer, lay her head on Alex's shoulder and be told everything would be all right again, but now even she was having doubts. Not of Alex's loyalty or love for her, but they were still doubts. She pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them and leaned toward the window, the tears she'd been holding in making an appearance as she trembled a bit.
Elliot helped Casey into the hotel room, taking her to the bedroom, as Olivia sat Alex on the couch. He sat next to her, rubbing her arm again. "...Do you want some tea or anything?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat, shaking her head. "Elliot, I know what you're...I just I can't... I can't believe she just left me standing there, forgotten. Some four years, huh? Sure, we're grateful to see you two, but I-I mean, she just..." she shook her head, drawing her legs up again. "She said she'd never leave me and I believe her, but... the fact that he's out there, looking for me, I-I can't deal with it alone."
He held her closer, and spoke to her gently, a voice she'd never heard from him before. "I think it's because of when she was in witness. Her and Olivia...she was terrified, and Olivia managed to calm her down, sort out her head. She wants to be there for you and help you as best she can, but she needs to have a clear head."
She nodded, leaning into him. "That makes sense. All I want to do is sleep, but now, every time I close my eyes..."
"Get some rest. I'll stay right here."
She nodded, curling up in his arms. "Guess it's really no different than having your kids curl up in your arms, huh?"
"A little. My kids aren't super hot." He gave her a wink, then dropped a kiss to her head.
Author's Note: So, things just took a major turn! What do you think will happen next?
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Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles