Disclaimer: Animerockchic does not own Hetalia or Beauty and the Beast

(Note: Italics= song. Bold + Italics = thoughts)

Five girls clung to Sadik, wailing and bawling their eyes out.

"It can't be true, I don't believe it!" whined one.

"Why? Why would you go and do a thing like that?" said a second tearfully.

"I can't bear it. I simply can't bear it!" sobbed a third.

"Oh Sadik, say it isn't so!"

Sadik examined his nails casually. "It's so."

The girls burst into fresh noisy tears.

"Girls, girls, please. I'm just getting married. Don't tell me a little thing like that's going to change your feelings for me?" The girls scrambled over each other to try and get even closer to him.

"Oh no!"

"No!"

"Never."

Sadik smirked. "Good. And we'll still have our little render-voys-woirs." He gyrated his hips at the mispronounced 'rendezvous'.

All five girls chorused adoringly, "Always!"

Sadik rubbed his hands together. "Well, if there's going to be a wedding, I should probably propose to the bride then."

The five ran off crying ...again.

Sadik straightened his shoulders, pulled out a piece of paper and cleared his throat. He swaggered up and knocked forcefully on the front door of the Vargas' house.

"Oh Lovino. Lovino!"

Lovino came out from the side of the house, holding a tomato plant. Catching sight of Sadik, he turned back, hoping not to be seen.

"Well, hello there."

"Fuck"

He put down the plant and turned to face the bane of his existence. "Sadik, what a fucking surprise."

Sadik strutted over to him. "I'm just full of surprises." He thrust a small frame at Lovino. "For you."

"A miniature portrait", Lovino took a closer look, "...of you. You really shouldn't have."

Sadik brought Lovino close to his side. "Today is the day all your dreams come true."

Lovino looked at him in disgust. "What the hell could you know about my dreams, Sadik?"

Sadik dusted his shoulder. "Plenty." He cleared his throat, checked the piece of paper and began serenading Lovino.

"You've been dreaming, just one dream
Nearly all your life
Hoping, scheming, just one theme:
Will you be a wife? ("What the fuck, I am not a woman!")

Will you be some he-man's property?
Good news! That he-man's me!"

Lovino tried to slip away from under Sadik's arm but Sadik grabbed his wrists and held him behind him, half dragging him around.

"This equation, girl plus man
Doesn't help just you
On occasion, women can
Have their uses too
Mainly to extend the fam'ly tree
Pumpkin, extend with me!" He pulled the two of them together as though in a family portrait, staring into the distance.

"I am not a fucking woman so I can't have children, ass-wipe!"

Sadik continued singing, ignoring Lovino completely.

"We'll be raising sons galore!"

"Inconceivable! Literally!"

"Each built six foot four!"

"Unbelievable!"
Sadik hoisted him up, plonked him on his shoulder and carried him around the garden like a ragdoll.
"Each stuffed with ev'ry Sadik gene!"

"I'm not fucking hearing this!"
He put him down and wrapped his arm back around Lovino.
You'll be keeping house with pride!

"Just incredible!"

"Oh so gratified"

Lovino shuddered. "So unweddable!"

"That you are a part of this idyllic scene."

Sadik spread the arm that wasn't trapping Lovino wide, as thought would help him visualise married life.
"Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting over the fire, my little wife massaging my feet!" Lovino retched slightly. "While the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We'll have six or seven!"

"Dogs?" Lovino HATED dogs.

"No! Strapping boys...like me!" Sadik preened himself. Lovino's lip curled in revulsion.

"Imagine that."

"I can see that we will share
All that love implies
We shall be a perfect pair
Rather like my thighs." Sadik spread his legs and slapped his thighs.

"You are face to face with destiny!
All roads lead to...
The best things in life are...
All's well that ends with me!" With each sentence, partial or full, Sadik flung Lovino from one arm to the other.

"Escape me, there's no way
Certain as "Do, Re,"
So, will you marry..."

Sadik turned to look at Lovino, a winning smile on his face. "So Lovi, what would it be?
Is it "yes", or is it "ooohhhh, yes"?"

Lovino hesitated, what was the best way to say no so that he would fuck off.
"I...I just don't deserve you!"

Sadik laughed. "Who does?" He pushed Lovino away from him.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Lovino, seizing his chance, crept away to his front door. "But thanks for asking."He slammed the door closed.

Sadik stood there, gobsmacked. How had that not worked? He just couldn't understand why! If it had been anyone else, they would have fallen to their knees and begged him to marry them.

The five girls came back, whispering to each other. "Niamh, you go ask!" "No, you, Tara!" "Aoife, you do it!" "What about you Éimear?" "Look, I'll go!"

A dark haired girl stepped forward and tapped Sadik on the shoulder.

"So. How did it go?"

Sadik tried to regain his bravado, attempting to laugh off his humiliation.

"Oh you know Lovino, always playing hard to get."

"HE TURNED YOU DOWN!"

Sadik growled. "For now. But I WILL be Lovino mine, make no mistake about that!" He stalked off.

The five of them watched him walk away. The girl who had spoken turned to her fellows and said, "Gee, if he turned Sadik down... then maybe I still have a chance." She chased after Sadik. "Jessie, wait!" The other four ran after her.

Lovino peeked cautiously out the door, his cat Romano circling his heels.

"Is he gone?" Lovino asked, more to himself than anyone one else. Romano mewled in response. Lovino picked him up and held him close.

"Can you believe it? He asked me to marry him!" Lovino said to Romano. "Me. Married to that boorish, brainless, retarded...ugh." Lovino took Sadik's portrait from his pocket and flung it as far away from him as he could.

He sat down on an upturned flowerpot, stroking Romano's fur gently. "I hate this. I hate being pressurised into marrying that fucking creep. I want out of this town, Romano. I want adventure and surprise and mystery. But what I want most is for someone to understand... apart from you of course." He cuddled his cat close to his face, inhaling the comforting smell of his fur.

"Hey, Lovino!"

Lovino looked up, glaring at Stelios. Romano hissed at him, his back arching. Like master like cat, as they say.

"Have you seen Sadik anywhere?"

"You just missed him." Lovino blinked and looked closer at Stelios. "Wait a minute. Where did you get that scarf?"

Stelios flicked the loose end of his scarf around his neck. "Found it. In the woods. Pretty nice, huh?"

Lovino fixed him with a death stare. "That's my fucking fratellino's scarf!"

Stelios clutched his scarf closer to his neck. "Yeah, well, finders keepers!"

Lovino grabbed the end of the scarf and pulled hard. Stelios pulled on the other half, trying to hang on to it. The tug-of-war continued for a few minutes before Lovino gave the scarf one last yank. Stelios went flying as the scarf unwound itself from his neck.

Lovino clutched his brother's scarf so tightly his hands began to shake. He grabbed Stelios by the shirt front and lifted him up to his eyelevel. For such a scrawny looking guy, he sure knew how to lift someone and look menacing.

"Listen, shit-breath. I want you think hard and tell me exactly where you found that scarf."

Stelios folded his arms. "No!" Lovino put him down. "Think!"

Stelios put his hands on his temples and did what could only be described as a very good impression of a hen laying an the size of a football.

"Ugh, in the woods."

Lovino shook his head irritably. "Harder, damnit!"

Stelios resumed his egg-laying, this time it was about the size of the Coliseum.

"By the crossroads, okay? Ow..."

By now, Lovino wasn't even listening. He was thinking hard, twisting Feliciano's scarf around in his hands.

"Then that means... they're still out there", he said, half to himself. "You have to take me back to where you found this damn scarf!"

Stelios backed away shaking his head. "No way, not the woods again. Anything but the woods."

"You have to!"

Stelios took to his heels and left, but not before shouting, "Not on your life!"

Lovino watched him run, feeling a sense of hopelessness wash over him. How the hell was he supposed to find his brother? He looked down at the scarf he had wrapped so carefully around his little brother's neck less than a day ago. His stupid, cry-baby, pasta-obsessed, weak, attention-seeking, whiny little brother who was always there, cheering him on.

Lovino clenched his fists around the scarf until his knuckles went white.

"Then... then I'll find them myself!"

A/N: Woo! Go Lovi~!

Anyway, I have a request. I need help with Spanish for this fic. Someone already volunteered, but I haven't gotten a response from them. I'll try and keep it simple and I'd prefer if it's Castillo Spanish rather than Mexican. Anyway, if you can help, pm me or mention it in a review. (Or review anyway because they help me type :) )

Ja!

-Animerockchic