Chapter 4 - Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest

"There's nothing better than a King of Dairy smoothie." Haku said, putting down his half-empty cup. The fruity contents were delicious and appealing to his sweet tooth. Neji on the other hand, prefered a bit of bitterness with some coffee, almost black. One shot of cream, one shot of sugar.

"I beg to differ."

"Beg as you will. Him Tortons got nothing on King of Dairy."

"Au contraire, mon ami-"

"Don't start with the french. Only you think french is sexy."

"I am not the only one."

"Besides, you only started getting interested in it when he showed up with that accent that makes you drool."

"Shut up." Neji muttered, taking a large sip of his coffee to hide his blush. "French accents are so much sexier than british accents. 'Bloody hell'. Really? That makes no sense."

"Says the guy who adores Alan Rickman. You're the one obsessed with accents. Not me."

"At least I have good taste! You're obsessed with that guy from 'A Walk to Remember' and he's not even that good-looking."

"Shane West? Please. You'd snatch him if you could. You love the badass type. Why else would you have your eyes on the hot-shot Uchiha with the drool-worthy french accent?"

Neji glared at his friend, but smiled after a moment, unable to pretend to be angry with him. Although Neji never said out loud that he had a thing for the Uchiha, Haku could see right through him. Sometimes it was frustrating, but that's what having a best friend was like.

"Itachi doesn't always have the accent. He knows how to speak normal english. I think he keeps the accent just to be a tease."

Haku grinned and took a swig of his smoothie, and suddenly his eyes locked onto something behind Neji, "Speaking of badasses. . . Or just assholes in general, here some come." Haku used his foot to push the bags with his newly purchased items under the table, attempting to make it seem natural. His eyes avoided looking at the teenage boys, but it was already too late.

They'd seen Haku looking at them, even if it had only been for a mere moment, and they began to approach the two seated boys. Neji rolled his eyes, but straightened up, knowing what was coming. Haku was sensitive, his kind heart and warm spirit making him crumble under negativity, and Neji knew that to protect him, he had to take the negativity onto himself.

That was usually the case, as the anger and insults were usually directed towards him, but sometimes they would make a jab or two at his friend, and he would protect him as best as he could. There were so few good people in the world. Haku was one of them. And Neji refused to let anything hurt him or change him.

Neji leant forward and whispered to him, "Which ones?"

"Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame. Your frenchie's friends'."

"Ah. Those morons."

Haku stared down at his cup, trying to avoid the confrontation he knew was going to happen. He wondered why people had to hate. Of all the species of animals in the world, humans are the only ones that hate and shun. He wondered why people enjoyed to argue, to fight, to hurt. He never understood, but that was simply a matter of empathy. He was empathetic. He could feel the hurt even if he wasn't the one to hurt. The bullies didn't have that quality, clearly.

"Hello princess. Hello faggot."

"Hello dumb, dumber, and dumbest." Neji snapped back by reflex. He hated being called that word.

"Good afternoon, boys. How are you?" Haku asked, also through reflex. His need to be nice overpowering the fact that he didn't particularly like the people standing next to them.

"Fine and dandy until we saw you two. Must you bring your gayness to the Mall?" Hidan sneered at them, and Neji managed to keep calm with a lot of effort.

"I can bring my gayness to the Mall as long as you can bring your stupidity."

"What'cha shopping for now, huh?" Kakuzu asked, touching one of the bags with the tip of his shoes. It was one of the SpendlessShoestore bags. "Spending daddy's money again, I see. Don't you think your daddy will get rid of you once he sees how much of his money you waste? I wouldn't keep a brat who owns more shoes than I've had in my lifetime."

Haku's eyes lowered, staring back at the cup of smoothie that he no longer had a taste for.

"What are you shopping for? You know, you have to go see the Wizard of Oz for a brain. Even then, I do believe you're a lost cause. Now, unless you want to keep wasting my time, go away. I can only look at so much flannel in one day, got it? Come bother us again when you look like you haven't just jumped out of a barn."

"As much as I don't want to catch the gay...Why don't you come with me to see the Wizard of Oz? Obviously you need to go home, because this is not where you belong. Go back where you came from faggot. Go to hell, where you people are destined to go." Hidan replied slowly, but harshly.

Neji stood up, but a hand on his wrist kept him from throwing a punch at the teen in front of him. Haku looked at him pleadingly, not wanting a fight to break out. Instead, Neji slowly took hold of his coffee cup. "Has anyone ever told you, Hidan, that caffeine is a great moisturizer?"

"Like I give a fuck about that stuff. I'm not a fag, remember?"

"You need to start 'giving a fuck' because you have got to work on your complexion. Let me give you a head start." In the blink of an eye he uncapped his coffee and used the liquids within the cup as a projectile. The coffee splashed on his face, droplets leaking down his cheeks, neck, and shirt, landing on the dirty Mall floor.

"Fuck!" Hidan wiped at the hot coffee with his sleeve, making an even bigger mess.

Neji grinned, containing his laughter, and Haku forced back some giggles. It was nice to see him get what he deserved, but he didn't truly believe that encouraging the hate was the right way to go.

"I don't think you understood me through all that grease in your hair, so I'll repeat it a second time. Go. Away."

Kisame laughed at his friend, and punched his shoulder in the way that men do to show their feelings for each other, "Come on. We told Itachi we'd meet him at Pages."

"Watch your back, faggot. You too, pansy."

Haku looked up in fright at the glare directed towards him, unsure why Hidan was upset with him. He hadn't done anything. Does anybody ever actually do anything to merit the anger?

"Why do you hate us?" Haku asked, earning himself strange looks from the bullies and his best friend.

"You're both an insult to the imagine of man."

"How can you say that when you don't even know what a man looks like?"

"Let's go, Hidan." Kisame intervened before the arguing could continue to escalade.

"You're right. I've been around enough gay for today. Wouldn't want to catch it."

Neji glared at his retreating figure, feeling proud of the trail of coffee droplets littering the floor. He wasn't always able to get even, and he loved it when the chance arose. Neji slowly sat back down and turned to look at his friend with an apologetic smile. He knew Haku hated conflict. But the fear on his friend's face was showing something beyond just the arguement. There was something else going on in his mind.

"I can't do this." He whispered, his eyes large and fearful. "They'd kill me."

"Haku, do what makes you happy. Not those idiots."

"They're right. I am an insult to man. Trying to be a girl would be like saying I'm ashamed of my gender. I can't. . .I can't make them be right."

"They won't be right. Haku, you're more of a man than they'll ever be. You have the guts to do something that some are too afraid to do. You're beginning the steps that I'm sure other boys and men, even girls and women, only wish they could take. Your courage is admirable."

"I. . ."

"You can teach braveheart a few things about courage."

"Is courage stupidity?"

"Sometimes." Haku stared at him, his fear still very present, but Neji smiled reassuringly, "But not always."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being so awesome."

Neji laughed lightly, "Well, I do try." He stood up, grabbed both of their cups, and threw them out. When he returned, he began to collect some of the bags with Haku's help, "Time to go see those bunnies."

"The only thing better than looking at bunnies is looking at shoes."

"Or boys."

"You mean frenchmen."

"Whatever."

AN: This chapter was very fun to write. Why is Itachi french? I don't know. Blame my brain. The Wizard of Oz references? Blame my brain. And Glee. Any questions? Ask moi! By the way! For the store names, I shall explain. My originality, so very prominent. Rednotes comes from Bluenotes (a clothing store). Spendless shoestore comes from payless (shoe store, obviously). King of Dairy, rip off of Dairy Queen. Pages goes with Chapters, a book store. And lastly, Him Tortons. Need I really explain?

Thank you to AUehara, Reeserella, and EatEmUp for reviewing! Means so much!

Thank you for reading,
-MewMew