Hey Guys(: I hope you enjoy this one. Review?
Title :: Everything.
Disclaimer :: I don't own Suits...yet.
Summary :: Harvey wants Mike, more than anything, but can't allow the possibility of Mike getting hurt. Mike reassures him that it'll be all right, that he isn't going anywhere. Light Slash, Fluffy Angst? One-shot.
There was so much that Harvey had wanted to say.
There was so much that Harvey needed to say.
Mike was standing infront of him, right there, open-hearted with a wish in his eyes; a surge of hope.
He was so close, so close, and Harvey just couldn't do it. He couldn't man up and swallow his fears. He couldn't admit it. He just couldn't, he didn't know how. He never had before.
"Harvey." Mike's voice was soft but pleading, begging for an answer to the silent question that was lingering around them. Harvey's grip was tight on Mike's arms, not tight enough to cause any pain but firm enough to assure Mike wouldn't slip away, wouldn't fall from his hold. Mike's touch was a bit more gentle, one hand inside Harvey's suit jacket and resting on his side while the other was palmed against his chest. If Harvey leaned just half a centimeter forward then the space between their lips would be closed. That's all that he wanted. He wanted that little piece of space that was separating them to no longer exist. He wanted - needed - Mike's lips against his with a promise of a future together.
That's it. So, why hadn't it happened yet? Why wasn't he kissing Mike yet?
"I can't." Harvey's voice was quieter than Mike's, so quiet that the younger man had thought he had missed the words - once he did hear them though, he wished he hadn't. Harvey's eyes wouldn't look up, wouldn't meet Mike's. They were focused lower, on his lips and he wouldn't look away. He couldn't meet the eyes of the person he was already hurting.
"Okay." Mike kept his voice level, not allowing it to break as much as he was inside. He began to step back, distancing himself from Harvey for the sake of his own sanity and heart but just as he turned there was a hand on his wrist, the firm hold stilling his movements but not turning him around.
"I want to."
Mike wasn't sure why they had been whispering, no one else was around, but it seemed like maybe the quieter they spoke then the less the words hurt.
Except it didn't work like that.
Mike breathed in as Harvey took a step closer from behind him. Harvey's presence was close against his back, his free hand raising to graze over his arm. They were just as close as they were before when Harvey turned him around. Harvey's hands held him in place again, left hand firmly on his upper arm while his right reached up and brushed the skin right above his shirt collar with soft fingertips.
"God, I want to." Mike didn't know if Harvey was speaking to him or just out loud. Harvey's eyes were still focused down, now focused on Mike's neck where his fingertips were.
"Then why don't you?"
"I..." Harvey realized he didn't have an answer, not really. "Mike." Harvey swallowed, trying to regain control of himself - though, he already knew it was a lost cause. Mike's hold had been on his heart since the beginning whether either of them knew it or not. There was no 'controlling himself' around Mike.
"What do you have to lose?"
Harvey's eyes shifted up from Mike's lips long enough for Mike to see the emotion that laid in them. There was hope, fear, love, everything that was going through Harvey's head; every emotion he never admitted to having. Mike could see that Harvey was doing his best to restrain himself. Harvey was scared of what could happen and that was obvious. He was afraid of Mike leaving - or worse, Mike getting hurt, or even worse, Mike getting hurt because of him. That's something that Harvey wasn't sure he would be able to handle.
There was a reason he steered clear of actual relationships and there's a reason he'd been hiding his feelings from Mike for months. He couldn't do that to the kid, there's no way. He couldn't allow Mike to jump into the crazy train of a relationship with him. If he hurt Mike, if he screwed it up, if he made a mistake, if he did anything, Harvey wasn't sure how he'd be able forgive himself. He didn't want the possibility of anything happening to Mike to hang in the balance. He couldn't let Mike do this.
"Everything." Harvey heard his own voice break a little.
"How?" Mike's voice showed that he was obviously already hurting. Harvey cursed himself silently, how could he already be hurting the kid? That was the last thing he wanted to happen. He wanted to protect Mike from this, not push him into it.
"If I loose you, Mike, I...I lose everything." Harvey confessed. His grip on Mike tightened just a bit, like he was afraid that Mike would walk away, before Harvey even had him. He needed Mike this close, he needed to know Mike was here. He couldn't loose Mike but he couldn't have him either.
"Who said I was going anywhere?"
Harvey breathed in deep, eyes falling closed as his forehead rested against Mike's. "I'll mess it up."
"You don't know that." Mike countered
There was a short silence and Mike kept his eyes focused on Harvey when the older man pulled back enough to see his face. Harvey was looking back at him and saw the complete love in Mike's eyes. The spark in Mike's eyes showed that there was always the chance that Harvey didn't mess it up. There was the possibility that this could be the greatest thing to ever happen to Harvey, and it would be if Harvey would just allow himself to. Mike had already done so much for the older man without even realizing it. There was this thing about Mike that Harvey just never seemed to get enough of. Mike made him happy, he made life a little bit more worth living. He wanted Mike and, Mike wanted him...and for once when Harvey looked into the eyes of someone else all he saw was love and affection and he felt amazing knowing that.
Harvey knew that there was no denying that he loved Mike - no way in hell. He needed the kid, he needed him here and against him and with kisses and hugs and warmth and laughter and just everything that he was. He couldn't let go of the fact that Mike loved and wanted and needed him in all the same ways cause that fueled even more of the nervously happy, warm, fuzzy, giddy feeling that was building inside him at the moment.
"Can...Can I-"
"Yes." Mike breathed against him. Harvey closed the small space between them, pulling Mike by his shoulders just gently enough, and kissed him as softly as possible - finally.
Mike fell closer into his chest and Harvey felt himself weaken too. The kiss remained soft, gentle; no pushing further, no forcing into the next move. It's what they both needed and Harvey couldn't ignore the way his heart skipped out when he finally had Mike right where he wanted him. When Mike removed his lips - just a little, because he couldn't resist the urge to smile - Harvey couldn't even try to hide the small whimper of loss before it had escaped from his mouth.
"Don't leave." 'I love you Mike. I won't handle letting you go.'
"Never." 'I love you too, Harvey and I promise you won't have to.'
They each knew how many more words were kept quiet in that single spoken promise and both couldn't have been more comforted by knowing them.
Harvey pulled at Mike's shirt and pushed their lips together again. Mike eagerly kissed back as his arms found their way over Harvey shoulders. Harvey still had one hand in his shirt while the other dropped to squeeze at his hip. His arm wrapped around Mike's lower back and pulled him completely against him.
Now they had eachother, and nothing could change that - not even the world (maybe Donna - not that she'd try - but definitely not the world).
Yay, happy ending(: I hope you liked it. It's a bit more angsty? than my other one-shots but...I had to try it at one point right? Anyways, review it! I love getting those messages.