Title: The Beginning of All Commotions - Act 5
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Greece/Japan, mentions of other characters and minor pairings in later parts.
Rating/Genre: R-ish for this act, PG-15 for the previous acts. Mafia-AU, Humour, Action.
Warnings: A short sex scene in this act. Slight crack, gang warfare, language, booze & smoking.
In this act: South Italy/Spain, Japan, Greece; mentions of Netherlands, Belgium, Russia and China.
Summary: Lovino Vargas would like to say he may not be many things, but he is still fucking someon– something. That is not a pun. Maybe.

~.*.~

v.

February 14, 2kXX. 13:15 PM

Lovino Vargas was not many things.

He was never the favourite student in school, never the teachers' pet and he never quite got along with most of the snot-faced, pretentious bastards while in college. Not that he'd wanted to or anything stupid like that. Even within his own family (and by 'family', he really meant the poor adoptive parents who'd taken him in from the orphanage), he had never quite gained their favour as much as his younger brother Feliciano did.

One couldn't entirely blame him though. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't sweet and cheery and all sunshine-y inside like Feliciano was. It wasn't his fault that while both brothers were clumsy and as useful as a sack of rotting potatoes chucked in a forgotten corner in the garden shed, Lovino was usually the one who lost his temper first. It wasn't even his fault that he was very apt at being fluent in all manner of cuss words by the age of ten, and that he didn't hesitate to use it as an expression of self during school counselling meets.

Lovino Vargas was not many things, but he was something; the founder and self-appointed gang leader of the Dollars, to be exact. And that was something he was proud of, thank you very much.

Even if the Dollars hardly ever did anything useful (except, maybe to pelt poor Mister Tibbles the postman with pebbles, or to decorate the walls of St. Mary's Nursery with graffiti penises).

Even if the Dollars only consisted of three other members.

Antonio Fernández Carriedo was one tough stalker-bastard who had insisted on sticking to Lovino like chewing gum stuck on hair. Belle van Nassau simply thought Lovino was cute (and who was he to say 'no' to a pretty lady who appreciated his obvious good-looks and his sizzling hot charm?), while her brother Willem… uh, well, Tulip-Head was kind of creepy-imposing but the more the merrier, right? Besides, Willem looked like he could seriously beat the shit out of anyone, and that was always a good thing.

Antonio liked to call them the Happy Tomato Amigos, to throw anyone off their tracks of being Super-Suspicious!(the bastard had even painted their delivery van full of bright red tomatoes).

Lovino didn't even understand why they had to be the Happy Tomato Amigos, especially when they certainly had nothing to do with tomatoes (except eating them of course, but did he even have to fucking state the obvious?)

No, tomatoes weren't part of their business – they owned a bakery down Islington Lane, and Lovino and Antonio's specialty were cannoli and muffins – but there was no point reasoning with Antonio about these things, because reasoning with Antonio was like doing the salsa with a Spanish bull. Which is to say, it was almost impossible.

Lovino Vargas was not many things, but he was content.

He was especially content today, even with the sweltering weather, which was enough to make him all grouchy and irritable.

It was, however, also making him feel ridiculously aroused… although that was probably more due to the fact that Antonio (who-wasn't-reeeeaally-just-a-friend-so-much-as-he-was-a-fuck-buddy-also-maybe-possible-lover-but-whatever!) had a really sexy ass, and that Lovino had been quite attracted to Antonio for a while now. He couldn't quite bear to say it aloud yet, because doing so would mean he might actually be interested in cocks men and that there was a possibility he could be gay gay, and not just simply ~experimenting~.

Antonio's face was still as stupid as fuck though.

But damn if his cock wasn't so hard right now...

He felt Antonio arching his back, nudging his ass closer and grinding against Lovino's groin, eliciting a growl of pleasure from him with the touch.

"Oh Romano," Antonio breathed.

Lovino felt his jaw twitch at the stupid nickname Antonio insisted on using (which part of him smelt like cheese, huh?)

"Romano… aah! I want you… deep inside me…"

Lovino only grunted thickly, moving faster as he continued licking and sucking at delicious, sweaty flesh.

"Yes, deep… mmhhpph..! S-so deep… like a well…"

"Will you just stop talking." Lovino hissed, nipping into Antonio's neck.

It wasn't that Lovino mind talking during sex so much (he would never ever, ever admit this aloud but he'd always thought it was kindasortasexynowshutup whenever Antonio murmured those cheesy, romantic phrases into his ear). It was just that Antonio always had the tendency to spout dumb, boner-killer lines amidst their throes of passion like–

"Romano, you're so hard, querido… Hard like a diamond meat torpedo, oohh!"

God.

Fucking.

Dammit.

"Shut up, Antonio." Lovino snarled angrily, biting at the other man's shoulder a second time.

"Sorry, sorry!" Antonio chuckled, before the laughter broke off into a strangled gasp when Lovino thrust into him again; faster, harder this time.

Lovino would have probably said more, would have probably bitten Antonio again but Antonio was moaning, and there was heat and sweat and oh God, Antonio was fucking tight and–

And there was a cat sitting at the edge of their bed, licking its paw nonchalantly as it stared at them, judgment within its bright, amber eyes.

"Motherfuck–!"Lovino yelled as he leapt away from Antonio, before rolling off the bed in shock and landing with a loud thump! on the floor. He blinked several times before his mind began to register the pain in his head and his ass.

"Romano! Are you all right?" Antonio was beside him in a flash, reaching out towards him.

Lovino only groaned, shaking himself before he took hold of Antonio's arm to sit himself up.

"How the hell did the cat get in?" Lovino began, glaring up at the bed at the offending creature again. Except this time, the cat was no longer on the bed and was instead in what looked like a pair of hands holding it up. And those hands seemed to be attached to the arms of a tall, broad-shouldered man, who was now standing at the foot of the bed.

"Uh, hi." The man smiled sheepishly at them.

Lovino gaped.

"Oh, hello." Antonio said cheerily, waving.

Lovino yelled. Again. And scrambled back to his feet, one hand already rummaging through the bedside drawer, reaching for his gun.

"Who the fuck are you?" he demanded as he whipped his arm forwards, brandishing a box of condoms threateningly at the strange man before him–

Wait.

What?

"Antonio, what did I tell you about messing with my things whenever you're at my place?"

"Aha, sorry Romano! I just couldn't fit everything into that drawer when we got back from the grocer's. That's a really big box of condoms, you know."

"That's not the problem here!"

"Excuse me."

Lovino jumped, startled by the new voice. He swung around hastily to point the box at the second man who had been standing close behind him. He could feel the blood rushing in his ears, anticipation coiling within the pits of his belly as he readied himself for a possible fight.

Given a choice, Lovino would have sprinted away as fast as his legs could take him, he really would. The only reason why he'd decided to keep a gun in his bedside drawer was as a precaution, a just in case … not that there were many times he actually had to use it. He mostly drew his gun against any would-be opponent as a deterrent of sorts; more of a HAHA-Fuck-You-I-Have-A-Gun-And-I'm-NOT- Afraid-To-Bust- A-Cap-In-Your-Ass, before turning to bolt off to safety during Assassin XYZ's moment of hesitation.

This method didn't work quite as well with a box of condoms though, he figured.

"I'm sorry to be bothering you and your… friend, Mister Vargas," the man continued, his tone still soft and perfectly even, a serene expression in his gaze – one that Lovino happened to be quite familiar with.

"Dammit Kiku," Lovino sighed, dropping his arms to his side as he shook his head. "Stop appearing out of nowhere. I could have blown your face off."

"Forgive me. I must express my relief then, at your choice of weapon." Even as Kiku bowed in a polite show of apology, there was the faintest trace of a smile at the corner of his lips.

Lovino recalled that the box of condoms was still in his hand, and snorting in disgust, threw it carelessly back into the bedside drawer.

"You're lucky today." He settled back onto the bed, ruffling a hand through messy, brown hair as he felt the warmth of Antonio's body against his back when the other man sat down beside him.

"Why are you here anyway? And who's Mister Pussycat?" He gestured towards the taller man, who was now holding out the cat towards Antonio so that he could pat it (oh for fuck's sake).

"His name is Herakles," Kiku said. "He's assisting me with a few things."

"Hello, Herakles!" Antonio said cheerily, still patting the cat on the head with one hand, while shaking Herakles' hand with the other. "I'm Antonio, and this is Lovino and we–"

Lovino elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"Yao has lost one of his favourite pieces. An important heirloom, to be precise." Kiku began, lifting one hand to smooth down the front of his coat, even though there was hardly any crease or wrinkle on it. "We've had a couple of leads on who might have possession of it now, so…"

"And you think that I stole your cousin's precious toy?" Lovino huffed.

"I wouldn't go so far as to pin such an accusation on you, Mister Vargas."

That deceptively calm gaze again, and the tiniest of smiles tugging at those lips – it had never failed to unnerve him a little, even if Lovino had known Kiku for nearly two years now.

Their chance meeting happened out of sheer luck. Kiku had run crashing into him one day, trying to outrun what looked to be a group of men on a steroid boost and hell-bent on tearing him to pieces, much like a pack of crazed hyenas.

Lovino would have stayed out of it, he really would (he never claimed to be a Saint after all, even if he did try to say the rosary every week… okay, fine, every month, shut up). But Antonio, Belle and Willem had been there as well, so when one of the men had oh-so-stupidly flicked Willem's pipe out of his hands, Lovino almost felt sorry the poor fool.

Because no one flicked Willem van Nassau's pipe from his hands.

No. One.

Not God, Not Antonio, not Lovino, not… well, Belle would have gotten away with it, simply because she was Belle. But no one else would have, and certainly not those stinky, hyena-buffoons. Between Kiku, Willem and Antonio (Lovino remembered to shield Belle from any immediate harm because, hey somebody had to do it right?), they made short work of the group. Willem was even happy to finish it off by tossing Mister Flick-Away-My-Pipe-Will-You over the bridge and into the cold, murky river.

And so, somehow through that incident, Kiku and Lovino and the rest of the Happy Tomatoes became "friends". Or business associates. Or something. Lovino didn't care so much about shit like terminology. Whatever they were, he was aware that it was best to have Kiku as a friend than otherwise.

"Admittedly however, I am here because I was told that I may find some answers." Kiku continued, holding Lovino's steady gaze.

"Ugh, we've been through this before, Kiku." Lovino sighed, carding his fingers through his hair again as he frowned. "You already know how I feel about crap like authority, let alone all these organised crime bullshit. I mean, seriously, fuck the police! And fuck the mafia too!" Except that he said the second line in a softer, more wary voice, giving Kiku a slightly apologetic glance. "Present company excluded, of course. But well, you know how much I hate messing with stuff that like, so why the hell would I want to spend time around them anyway?"

"And yet you lead your own gang, the Dollars," Kiku countered evenly, still in that deceptively calm tone, still holding Lovino's gaze.

Lovino shook his head stubbornly. "Well, how do you know it's not the Braginskies or any of the other families, huh? Huh?"

"I don't mean any offense Mister Vargas, but I assure you that I've checked. The Väinämöinens are out of town and will be so for the next couple of weeks. Whereas for Mister Braginski himself…." Kiku paused, a sudden pained look flickering across his features. "Well, we are quite certain it wasn't him, especially since he and my cousin were too busy negotiating themselves over the dining table right about the time the heirloom was stolen."

Lovino snorted in disbelief. "Are you seriously trying to say– "

Kiku's deadpanned expression told him that yes, he was quite serious.

To which Antonio let out a loud guffaw. "Wow, that must have been a really long meeting, if they had to fit themselves into the agenda!"

Lovino smacked Antonio hard on the shoulder.

"Huh. I see." He let out a tired groan, reaching for the pack of Lucky Strikes and the lighter from the bedside table.

Beside him, Antonio only kicked off the blanket as he stretched his arms over his head.

"I'll go pour our guests some wine, okay, Romano? They look really thirsty!" he said, unperturbed by the fact he was more or less naked in front of two complete strangers, and made his way out of the room towards the kitchen.

Kiku seemed to have noticed both Lovino and Antonio's stark nakedness by now, and clearing his throat lightly, averted his gaze towards the window instead. He kept his back to Lovino, unspeaking, as if he were giving Lovino a moment to light his cigarette and to consider his next choice of words carefully.

Lovino inhaled deeply, watching the tiny cherry-flame flare to life at the end of the stick, the frown still etched stubbornly upon his brow.

"All right, fine," he finally said, releasing a steady stream of smoke and ash with each breath. "There was someone who came by just yesterday. Tried really hard to convince us to buy it off him."

Antonio reappeared again from the kitchen, still very cheery, still very naked, as he offered a glass of wine first to Herakles (who had made himself comfortable sitting in one of the sofa chairs, the cat now curled up in slumber upon his lap). He passed the second glass to Kiku, who, after nodding a quick thanks to the man, continued to keep his gaze to the window.

As Antonio settled himself next to Lovino again, he asked, "Why doesn't your friend want to look at us, Romano?"

"Because you have a stupid face, that's why." Lovino said, rolling his eyes.

"Because you're both still naked and I think he's a little self-conscious about that." Herakles offered instead, from where he was seated.

Kiku only sipped at his wine in awkward silence, cheeks a little flushed.

"Anyway," Lovino continued, "he tried to get us to buy it, but I said no, because dammit, did really he think I was that stupid to want to buy such a thing and then get into trouble for that?"

"Do you know who he is, the one who tried to sell you what I presume is Yao's?" Kiku said, finally turning his head to glance back at Lovino.

This time, Lovino couldn't help but meet Kiku's gaze with his own smirk and a soft chuckle. "Oh I know him all right. In fact, you know him as well, and I'd even say that you know him a whole lot better than I ever will."

When Kiku only frowned at his words, confusion clearly etched upon his features, Lovino laughed again.

"You know how they always tell us to keep our friends close, and our foes even closer?" Here, Lovino took another drag from his stick, wisps of smoke and ash trailing from his nose and lips as he exhaled slowly. "In your case Kiku, I guess it's not hard for you to do so, since this particular 'foe' is already part of your own…"

Kiku stared unblinking at Lovino for several heartbeats, his expression betraying nothing. His dark eyes told a different story however, and Lovino could see the realisation gradually reflected in them.

"Thank you for your help, Mister Vargas." Kiku said as he bowed, and turned on his heel to make his way towards the door. Just as he set the glass down on a nearby table, Herakles stood from the sofa and followed after him, the cat in one arm as he waved farewell with the other.

"Sure is an interesting guy, isn't he Romano?" Antonio said, watching as the two men left the house, before he brought the wine bottle to his lips to take a long swig.

Lovino only made a noncommittal grunt at the back of his throat. He reached over to the bedside table to put out the cigarette, and then lay back down against the bed again, running a lazy gaze over Antonio's figure next to him.

After all that commotion and all the talking, he was slowly being made aware of his arousal (again) as he studied the definition in Antonio's back, at the muscles and at curve of his spine and… goddamit.

Closing the gap between them, Lovino pinned Antonio back against the bed. He trailed a moist tongue over Antonio's earlobe, feeling the blood rushing to his ear (and rushing down elsewhere), feeling the heat rise in him when the other man gave a small, involuntary shiver under his touch.

"Now, where were we?"

Lovino Vargas was not many things–

"Oh Romano, you're such a teaaa...a-ahh!"

–but right now, he was going butt-fuck the living daylights out of Antonio, and no one could tell him to do otherwise.

~.*.~

:::

I finally wrote something for Spamano, and it even has a bit of smut in it! (did you also catch the 'blink-and-you'll-miss Rochu I slipped in? XD)

This was pretty difficult to write out, and I have mixed feelings about how this chapter reads off. Either way, I hope you will still enjoy reading this, and that it'll still tickle your fancy a little.