Marie shuddered at the disappearing Patronus. The last time she had received a phoenix Patronus message, Albus Dumbledore had asked her to move to Hogsmeade, to be within his protective bubble. He was concerned that after Sirius's crime, after her relationship, she would be a target of people who wanted to take out vigilante justice against him. Vigilante justice was terrifyingly common at the end of the war. The phoenix Patronus never meant anything good and this one had told her than Sirius had found a way into Hogwarts and they were searching the castle for him. She was expected at Dumbledore's study in half an hour to discuss the situation.

She nearly fainted, nearly broke down in a mess of anxiety and fear. Taking a shaky breath, Marie pulled on her robes, brushed her hair, and looked in the mirror.

When had she become so frail, so empty, such a shadow of her former self? She had stuck a picture of her and Lily at sixteen to her mirror, and her smiling young face looking up at her from the confines of the picture looked nothing like the woman looking at her in the mirror.

Lucius had been over that morning, stopped by her office. Really, he had been there to see her boss, but he slipped a diamond necklace under some of her papers while her boss wasn't looking. He did things like that a lot, as if an expensive piece of jewelry was supposed to erase a night spent beating her, yelling at her, accusing her of all manner of things.

That was what Lucius did when he was upset, pointing fingers and accusing. It was much like what he was doing with his son, Draco, and that hippogriff of Hagrid's. Marie knew as well as anyone with a brain that insulting a hippogriff was a great way to lose a limb, and Draco didn't even lose a limb, but somehow Lucius had made it seem like the hippogriff's fault. He was good at displacing blame.

She walked up the way to the castle, where the dementors allowed her through, although passing them made her shake with uncontrollable grief. Her worst memory: sending Sirius to Azkaban. That entire day, that horrific day, was what she saw when she was near dementors. Lily and James dead, Sirius a Death Eater, sent to Azkaban by her own signature, Peter dead… it was as if her life had ended. In a way, it had. She was no longer that girl. She was a fraction of what she used to be.

"Stainthorpe."

Snape. She knew he was teaching, of course. Remus had told her all about it in his first letter. Still, facing Severus Snape was the last thing Marie wanted to do when she was already such a wreck.

"Snape," she said as he came out of the shadows. "I am to see Dumbledore."

"I am aware," he sneered. "Strange, isn't it, that Black managed to get into the castle, well-guarded as it is?"

"I suppose it is," she said, not wanting to discuss Sirius with him or anyone else. Still, he walked with her up to Dumbledore's study, obviously not wanting to let his prime opportunity to taunt her for her mistakes pass without being fully utilized. After all, if they were lucky, Sirius would be caught soon and she would no longer be answerable to Hogwarts on his case.

"I have a theory," he drawled in his baritone voice. "I think he must have had help."

Marie tensed. She had expected this, but it still hurt.

"I can't imagine who from," she hissed, finding an edge she had lost years ago, rediscovering her ability to be harsh. "Everyone I know who he had ever once known wants him dead."

Snape's lips curled into a cruel sneer.

"Even his sweet little lover?"

They were at the gargoyle when he said this, and she faced him, an inexplicable fire in her that fed her fury.

"Especially his lover," she snarled. "He has been without anyone loving him for twelve years, Snape."

"Well, well," he muttered, "it seems that for once, Stainthorpe, you and I have something in common."

With that he slinked off and she made her way up the spiral staircase to Dumbledore. She knocked firmly on his door, and his voice called her in.

"Marie," he greeted, motioning for her to sit across from him. "Remus was quite right. You don't look very well. How do you feel?"

Remus. Remus was sitting around gossiping with Dumbledore about her. Somehow, she wasn't surprised. She forced a smile.

"Remus is incredibly over-protective of me, Albus. I'm all he has left you know. Now, your message mentioned a breach of security. Could you describe the event more specifically?"

She nearly broke her façade of business-like complacency under the knowing-gaze of those bright blue eyes, those same eyes that had disciplined her as a child, knowing all of her crimes from pulling Mary MacDonald's hair in a first year tiff to being caught out of bed, after hours, snogging Sirius Black on the teacher's desk in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Ten minutes later and they would have been well passed snogging, but thankfully that hadn't happened.

He told her how Sirius had attempted to get into Gryffindor Tower, and when the portrait did not let him through, he lost his temper and slashed the portrait. The students were all sleeping safely in the Great Hall and no one was harmed. The school had been searched, and Sirius was nowhere to be found. They discussed possible security measures and wrote up a quick report for the Ministry.

"Well, if that's all, Albus," she said as cheerily as possible, "I'd better be on my way. Work in a few hours, you know."

"Of course," he said with a nod. As she was leaving, though, he said, "You, of all people, Marie, ought to know the danger of being involved with a man like Lucius, a man who cannot be trusted."

With a deep breath, fighting the tears, Marie knew it would be no good to deny her relationship with Lucius.

"At least I know not to believe a word he says," she said softly. "At least I know he doesn't love me. At least when he hits me, I see the blow coming."

She walked away without another word.

/-/

Marie had hoped that Halloween would be the end of it, that they would catch him soon, that the increased security measures would at least keep him out of Hogwarts, keep her from having to deal with him, but she was disappointed.

It was January when Marie received another far more urgent Patronus from Albus, and she happened to be in bed with Lucius at the time.

"What is it?" he demanded, causing Marie to shiver slightly at the harshness of his tone.

"Black's been spotted at the castle," she groaned. "I've got to go and see Albus. Will you be here when I get back?"

"No."

She kept herself from sighing. Coming across as ungrateful would not go over well with Lucius, so she kissed him on the cheek instead and whispered, "I'll see you," before climbing out of bed and making herself presentable to see the Headmaster.

"What did he do this time?" she sighed, sitting down at the chair across from Albus, wishing she never had to come back to this school again in her life, wishing they'd actually caught him this time so her work was done.

"He broke into the Gryffindor dormitory," Albus said calmly. "He found Harry's dormitory, ripped the bed curtains of the boy next to him, and stood over the Weasley boy with a knife, waking him up. The Weasley boy yelled in fear, causing Black to run away and managing to wake every Gryffindor. He is gone, again. We did not catch him."

Marie shuddered a little at the thought of Black standing over a teenager with a knife in hand, and then pictured him standing over her with a knife in hand… She knew he was in the area. It wasn't far-fetched, and if he'd read the papers at all in the past few months, he'd know she was in the area too. The idea that he could find her, break into her home, slit her throat in the night… But then, she wasn't sure if she wanted more for him to find her or stay away. Sometimes, when she was at her lowest, she wished he would find her and put her out of her misery, give her the final punishment she knew she deserved.

The oddest part was that Sirius had scampered away when the boy had yelled. That didn't sound much like the Sirius Black she'd known so well. But then, Azkaban changed people. She knew that. Everyone knew that, especially Ministry employees.

"What are we going to do?" she said softly, not even caring that he could hear the tremble in her voice. The idea that she would ever be able to hide her fear from Albus Dumbledore, of all people, was a foolish notion she had given up on long ago.

He talked about security measures for the school for a few minutes and she took notes, not really listening, but knowing she'd need to report on them later. Her mind was lost in fear for her own life and position. Professor Dumbledore then sighed, looked at her and said, "It wouldn't be very practical for you to go into hiding, Miss Stainthorpe. I imagine your lover would be adverse to the idea, as well."

The mention of Lucius made her wince, and she knew Albus had noticed.

"He'll find me," she whispered. "He'll find me if he wants to, and nothing could really stop him from killing me, if he wanted."

"I agree," Albus said with a small nod, "which is why I believe that he doesn't want to kill you. Not yet, at least. I very much doubt that he doesn't know where you live, and I very much doubt that he couldn't easily sneak in and kill you before anyone realized. Might I suggest on nights you are alone and it is not a full moon, that Remus stay with you in your home, keep watch?"

The idea was appealing, and she knew Remus would say yes without hesitation, but he finally had a job. He was finally getting to live like a normal wizard, something he'd always wanted. She wasn't going to make him strain himself for her sake, no matter her fears.

"I'll be fine," she lied, and although she knew he knew it was a lie, he nodded and allowed it to pass as the truth, just this once.

So Albus Dumbledore let Marie Stainthorpe walk away without protection, with the knowledge that Sirius Black was still on the loose, and all the material she needed for her never-ending nightmares.

The next week was the hearing for the hippogriff Lucius was attempting to have executed in London. On Lucius's request, Marie was the secretary in charge of keeping notes of the trial, although she wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to show off with his victory or watch her while she worked. It was probably the latter. Marie, although his mistress, was not important enough to merit his showing off.

The hippogriff was, of course, sentenced to death. If Lucius Malfoy wanted something, he got it, whether it was fair or not. Marie didn't have to know Hagrid's side of the story to guess that it was really Draco's fault. She'd known the Malfoys far too long to take for granted that Lucius was in the right.

An appeal date was set, but Marie had spent enough time with the Committee to know that "appeal" really meant "execution". Lucius wouldn't even have to attend. After all, his old school friend Mulciber would be the executioner. He probably wouldn't have been, but Marie knew Lucius would grease the right palms.

Marie passed the weeks, months, between the hearing date and the day she would have to be present for the execution (which would take place at Hogwarts), in relatively quiet paranoia. Lucius was with her less and less, probably busy with things for his social events which she could not be a part of, and Remus visited less and less as well as students prepared for exams and needed their professors on hand for questions and guidance. Sirius Black had done nothing since January, which made Marie shiver with ominous anticipation.

He wouldn't have just left. He was waiting for something.

Marie met Cornelius Fudge and Mulciber on the Hogwarts grounds that morning. The greetings were what she expected. What she hadn't expected, however, was to run into Harry Potter and his friends. She was standing with the Minister on the steps as they approached.

"Hello there, Harry!" Cornelius said jovially. "Just had an exam, I expect? Nearly finished?"

"Yes," Harry said.

Marie could hardly stand to look at him… he was so much like James. She looked out at the grounds to keep from tearing up.

"Lovely day," said Cornelius. "Pity… pity…"

"We're here on an unpleasant mission, Harry," he continued with a sigh. "Miss Stainthorpe and I – do you know Miss Stainthorpe? She went to school with your parents, you know – are here as witness and secretary for an execution of a hippogriff for the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. I needed to visit to check on the Black situation, so I was asked to step in, and Marie handles all things which occur at Hogwarts, as she lives nearby."

"Does that mean the appeal's already happened?" said the redheaded boy.

"No," Marie said, looking out at the lake. "It's scheduled for this afternoon."

"Then you might not have to witness an execution at all!" he said firmly. "The hippogriff might get off!"

Marie smiled slightly at his naivety as the Committee member and Mulciber came out of the halls, Mulciber fingering his ax, already eager for blood. The redheaded boy was dragged off by his friends before he could make a scene, but before they made it inside, Harry Potter caught Marie's eye. His eyes were like his mother's exactly, green and knowing and honest as they pierced her, peering into her soul and laying bare her treachery. If he only knew… if he only realized the things she had done to save her own skin. He would hate her completely.

She took notes on the sham of an appeal, and went up for dinner to the castle. The execution would be that evening. They didn't want students out enjoying the sun to witness it, after all. Of course, how they expected to keep all of the children from crowding around the nearest window to see it was an absolute mystery to Marie, who had been a student all too recently and remembered what it was like to know something terrible was going on that wasn't allowed to be seen.

She walked in step with Cornelius down to Hagrid's hut that night, trying very hard not to let it show that her hands were trembling uncontrollably. They went through the procedure, reading all of the necessary documents, and Marie had to avoid looking at Hagrid, unable to stand his tears. But when they stepped outside for the execution…

The hippogriff was gone. Cornelius was sure the hippogriff had been stolen, but Hagrid was sure that he'd pulled himself free. Marie had to admit to herself, though, there was something rather fishy about the whole thing. She went with Albus, though, on his request, and had tea with him and Cornelius in his office. That was where she was some time later when Severus Snape came in looking rather raged, telling them he had Black.

Sirius Black was taken up to Professor Flitwick's office, questioned by Cornelius, and then they determined that he had caused harm to three students, the same three Marie had run into earlier that day. She shivered at this news.

"I would like to question him," Albus said, "and I think I am supposed to have a Ministry representative with me, yes? Miss Stainthorpe, if you would please accompany me."

Surely he wouldn't make her go inside the room with him. Surely he meant to have her stand outside, simply make sure that nothing funny was going on. But this was Albus Dumbledore. He didn't need a Ministry employee for safety or assurance or anything, least of all the one Ministry employee who should be as far away from that room as possible.

So trusting that Albus hadn't lost his mind completely, Marie followed him upstairs. When they got outside the room, however, he gave her a look as if to say, "After you".

"Albus," she whispered, "you can't actually expect me to go in there. He wants to kill me. Please, don't make me do this."

"Marie, my dear, I assure you that you are perfectly safe with me. Now, if you would be so kind as to lead the way into the room, there's a good girl."

Knowing it was pointless to protest, knowing that Albus Dumbledore always got his way, she turned to the door with a shaking hand and tapped it with her wand before opening it slowly. Marie braced herself to face her nightmares.

There he was, crouched against the wall of Flitwick's office, head in his arms. He looked nothing like the man she had known in her youth, but he certainly resembled the wanted posters that had haunted her since his escape.

"Sirius," Albus said, the door slamming shut behind him. The man huddled on the floor didn't respond. "Sirius, look at me."

Slowly, the mass of tangled hair lifted to reveal her true fear: the sunken, stretched face of Sirius Black. His eyes were wild and despairing all at once, but when they fell on her his whole body began to shake.

"Marie," he rasped, crawling to her feet, grasping her robes and burying his face in them, weeping uncontrollably. She was rooted to the spot with fear. "Oh, Marie, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. He hurt you and there was nothing I–"

His voice broke into choking sobs and Marie didn't know what to think as Dumbledore knelt beside him.

"Sirius, you need to tell me everything. I need to know what happened that night. I need your story."

Sirius looked up at Albus in surprise. No one had ever asked Sirius for his story that Marie knew of, and she had signed off on the fact. Slowly, quietly, and still clutching Marie's robes with a death grip, he told them what really happened, how he had Peter become the Secret-Keeper, how he confronted Peter who escaped in his illegal Animagus form and had been living under the Weasley roof ever since. He escaped, apparently, when Remus transformed, or they would have had Peter to prove the whole story.

Sirius hadn't been Dark after all, it had been Peter all along… Peter, the one who had told her over a glass of wine how selfish he thought Sirius being the Secret-Keeper was… Peter, the one who convinced her that it was bad for their relationship, dangerous for Marie… He tricked her, used her…

"It's all my fault," she whispered, horrified. "Peter convinced me that you being the Secret-Keeper was selfish, not fair to me and I… I yelled at you and I left you and… oh, Sirius, I should have fought for you. I chose my job over you! How could I…"

She slid to the floor, tears streaming down her face. It was all her fault, all of it. All those years she had told herself she'd done the right thing… He was innocent and he spent twelve years in hell because of her selfishness and cowardice.

Tentatively, Sirius wrapped his bony arms around her, gently and awkwardly smoothing her hair.

"I love you, Marie."

No. No, this was all wrong. She was a selfish monster. He wasn't supposed to love her.

"You ought to hate me. If I hadn't been so selfish, they'd still be alive and you wouldn't have gone to Azkaban."

"I did at one point," he sighed, running his fingers through her hair, smelling it indiscreetly. "I expected you to fight for me, defend me, but you signed that paper and–" he swallowed. "But then I broke out and I saw what that swine Malfoy did you to and I knew I could never blame you, love. You've already suffered more than enough."

As if her own crimes against Sirius weren't enough to bring her to tears he had to bring up her… well, whatever it was with Lucius. Marie burst into tears.

Sirius was wiping away the tears from her cheeks tenderly when Albus said.

"I truly hate to part you after such a beautiful reunion, but I'm afraid I must ask Marie to return to Cornelius and Severus and stay there until I say it is all right to do otherwise. There isn't much time and I don't want you implicated, Marie."

"Implicated in what?" she asked.

"Never you mind, you'll see soon enough," Albus said, blue eyes flashing with deep though. "Off you go now."

Marie stood once more and before she left the room Sirius stopped her, pushed some of the hair back from her face and kissed her lips very gently.

As she went back to Cornelius, Marie couldn't help but feel like her world was shaping up to be a better place every second.

A/N: This story is neither abandoned nor over! There is more to come! I finally found my notes and once that happened the end of the chapter practically wrote itself! Finals, so idk when the next update will be, but I'll do my best to make it timely!

-J