Thanks for waiting on my update. Trying to move faster these days!
These still aren't my peeps, but I can dream, right?
He couldn't hold himself back from kissing her temple lightly before he turned off the lamp and left the room to make his bed on the couch.
Alicia wasn't sure where she was when she awoke. She emitted a soft groan as the events of the day before came back to her. She looked around. Yes, she was definitely sleeping in Will's bed, and she was definitely alone. The other side of the bed remained untouched. She knew she shouldn't be there. She just had to figure out how to escape the situation.
A glance at the clock told her it was just after 5. She would quickly get dressed and get back home before the reporter crowd started their day.
Back in her crumpled clothes from yesterday, she tip-toed down the hallway, shoes in hand. She was half way across the living room when she heard Will's voice. "You sneaking out on me?"
He was sitting up on the couch, his hair still headed in all directions from his night spent sleeping on the couch. He was obviously awake, but it hadn't been for long. She shrugged her shoulders in answer to his teasing question. "What else does one do in such an embarrassing position?" She wore a sheepish expression on her face and Will's heart went out to her. He patted the couch cushion beside him for her to sit down. She hesitated a moment and then obliged him, crossing the room to sit beside him. She folded one leg under herself as she sat, carefully avoiding his eye contact.
They sat in silence a few moments before she finally spoke. "Will, I'm so sorry for last night. I had no right to impose..."
He cut her off by placing his hand on her knee. "It was fine, Alicia. You did the right thing." She looked at him, questioning his response. He continued, "We're still friends right?" She nodded silently. After another moment of silence he said, "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Alicia took in a deep breath, still deciding what to tell him. She met his eyes and nodded. He shifted on the couch to face her, still clad in his pajamas with the blanket halfway fallen off the couch, and waited for her to begin. She adjusted to get comfortable as she contemplated where to start. She opened her mouth to begin, then shut it again.
Will could tell she was flustered. He tried to hide his disappointment as he told her, "It's ok, Alicia. You don't have to say anything."
She turned to meet his eyes again. He didn't see the tears that had collected there when she spoke to him last night. "No Will, I want to. You deserve an explanation." She paused a moment and then repeated, "After everything, you deserve an explanation."
Will said, "Okay," and settled back and waited for her to be ready.
This time, when she opened her mouth, she really did begin her story. "When I came to you, when I asked that we end things between us in your office that day, I wanted to be sure that I could give my children the attention that they needed. With work and keeping secrets and sharing the kids with Peter, I wasn't giving them what I needed to offer them. Grace had been missing and I was so terrified until she came home. I realized that I had to eliminate some of the complications in our lives, and I'm so sorry that affected you. I always tried so hard to keep you from being affected by all the drama in my life, and I guess I failed pretty badly at that."
Will tried to process what she was saying and formulate a response, but she quickly moved on, leaving him to contemplate his response as she spoke. "I just need you to know that I didn't go back to Peter. I know it probably looked that way with the campaign, and maybe I should have told you, but at the time I didn't think it mattered. I didn't go back to him. I supported him politically, and I still support him politically, but that was all."
Alicia drew in a deep breath and pushed the stray hair out of her eyes. Will's head was spinning with all of this new information as Alicia continued.
"Peter and I agreed to wait until after the election to file for divorce. We filed on Tuesday, and as you know, the press has been all over it. I knew that it would be a big story, but I just didn't expect it to get so ugly. The kids were harassed at their school by reporters, there have been nasty stories floating around the internet, and I just can't help but think that this is my fault. I wanted this, I started it and now it's hurting my children and I can't stop it. When my parents divorced, I swore I could never hurt my children that way, but now I have."
She wasn't crying. Her voice hadn't broken. Today she was defeated, but calm. She felt like a numb little person living inside her large body, but so disconnected from the world. She just sat, staring straight ahead, with nothing more to say.
Will finally understood. All of this was about her kids. She wasn't heartbroken over Peter. She hadn't left him to go back to Peter. She did what she thought was best for her children. Never having had children, Will found it difficult to know what to say next. He couldn't know what she was feeling, he could only attempt to offer her some comfort.
"Alicia, I don't know your children, but I know you. And I know that you have sacrificed everything that you could for them for the past 16 years. And I know that they have to see that. Deep down, they have to know where your heart is."
"Yeah," she replied with a whisper, nodding her head as she continued to stare at the floor in front of her. Then she looked up to him, and with the slightest of smiles, she said, "Thanks, Will."
A brief silence passed between them, but after a moment Alicia shifted to the edge of the couch to stand up and said, "I should go. I need to call Zach and Grace anyway."
"Ok," Will said softly. Then he looked up to meet her eyes. "Have you figured out how to beat the reporters yet?"
She shrugged and said, "They should have gone home by now. Who wants to camp out in the rain anyway! I'll slip in before they show up today."
Will just shook his head, reluctant to give her more bad news. "I saw them on the news this morning. They're still out there." Will told her regretfully.
"Are you sure they weren't repeating broadcasts from yesterday?" she asked with her eyebrows raised and her face full of hope.
Will nodded silently. "Yesterday it rained all day. The shots I saw this morning were not from yesterday." Will gestured towards his window where the sunlight was steaming in between the other high rise buildings. There could be no mistaking today's weather for yesterday.
"Shit," Alicia muttered as she plopped back down on the couch.
"Let me get you some coffee," Will offered quietly. Alicia just nodded, lost inside her head as she tried to sort out her dilemma. Will rose and went into the kitchen.
She couldn't just go straight to work. Not like this. She had no new clothes, no makeup, her hair was a mess. She would need to stop at home first, but the swarm that was apparently gathered outside her building would make it tough to get in without making a comment.
Eli had advised her to stay quiet for now. Not to be rude to the cameras, but not to offer up any impromptu interviews without his approval. For once, Alicia listened to him. She still wanted to see Peter succeed in his career and didn't want that to suffer because of her decision to divorce. As long as it didn't cause her kids to suffer, Alicia would listen to Eli until this all blew over.
So she couldn't face the cameras, which meant she couldn't go home. But where else could she go? She had nothing packed to be away from home for several days. She needed to get to work, which meant she needed to get home. Short of a helicopter dropping her off on the roof, she saw no feasible way to make that happen.
She heard Will's bare feet on the cold floor as he approached from the kitchen with two steaming mugs in his hands. He handed her one and she took a sip. She looked back up at him in surprise.
"How did you remember how I like my coffee?" she asked him as he sat down beside her on the couch.
Now it was Will's turn to shrug as he stared down into his own cup before lifting it to take a drink. "Lucky guess," he said with a mischievous smile directed at his coffee mug.
Alicia chose to ignore his comment for now. There were too many other things on her mind. They both sat in a comfortable silence as they pondered the next move.
Eventually, Will spoke up. "Let me call Diane and tell her that you won't be in today."
Before Alicia could even finish saying, "But Will..." he cut her off.
"You can't go to work without going home to change, and if we do get you into your apartment you'd be better off staying there." Alicia silenced her complaints at his reasonable argument. Will continued, "Your cases can wait, and Carey can step in on anything that can't wait for today. This is important and you deserve to pay attention to it."
He paused before asking, "Have you taken a sick day since you started?"
Sheepishly, she replied, "No."
Will smiled and said, "Well, you sure look sick to me. Better go rest so you feel better!" He walked away, putting his cell phone to his ear to call Diane.
Will told Diane that he was calling to check in with her about the morning, since he would be coming in late today. He mentioned that Alicia called him to say that she was taking a sick day and hoped that Diane didn't see through his fib. He listened to her drone on about a problem that had come up with a case before she finally told him she'd see him at the office later in the morning.
He returned to find Alicia exactly where he left her. "Done," he told her with a sly grin.
"But now what? I can't just sit on your couch forever." There was hopelessness in her voice that was foreign to him. He knew she was just not herself in this situation. In a way, it made his little white lie to Diane somewhat true.
"Relax," he said, plopping down beside her on the couch. "I'm coming up with a plan."