It was the day of the Tree Hill High graduation. Brooke was so excited she hardly slept the night before. Rachel had spent the night at Brooke's because she got into a fight with her parents about the baby and they threw her out.
"Rachel, get up. We graduate today," Brooke said excitedly as she bounced around the apartment.
Rachel groaned. She was not looking forward to getting up. Even though she was only about 3 ½ months pregnant Rachel felt like a balloon. And putting on the gown for graduation made her feel even worse. Finally, before Brooke could even think of coming in with ice water to dump on her Rachel got out of bed and made her way out to the kitchen. Even though the graduation ceremony wasn't till later in the day, they had stuff to do before then.
"Morning Rach. How'd you sleep?" Brooke asked cheerfully.
"Ugh, why are you so perky? Don't you know it's early?" Rachel replied as she held her head.
Brooke rolled her eyes and laughed at her friend who carefully flopped into a chair next to her at the table and then rested her head in her hands. The two girls had been spending a lot of time together lately.
"I could be little miss doom and gloom again if you want."
"No, no. Please don't. I'm just really tired and stressed out about the baby situation. I don't mean to be so cranky."
"You're not cranky Rach. You're pregnant and worried about what you're gonna do about college. Speaking of college, have you decided anything yet?"
Rachel shook her head. There was so much to think about and it made Rachel's head spin every time she tried to make a decision. Not only did she have a decision to make but Mouth did as well. Regardless, Rachel felt like her decision were a bit more intense only because she's the one carrying the child, not Mouth. Currently they weren't really talking either but Rachel didn't tell Brooke because she didn't want her to go after Mouth. Which she knew would happen if Brooke found out that they weren't talking.
"What about you? What are you doing about college? You have to do something. Lucas wouldn't want you to miss out on an opportunity."
"I know but honestly, thinking about college scares me. More than graduating high school does. Obviously I'm never leaving Tree Hill but I need to do something with my life. I desperately wanna be more than just a slug for a mom. But I know I'm also going to have to be Daddy too."
"Mouth can help out anytime and I'm sure Nathan will too."
"Speaking of Mouth, why aren't you two talking?"
Rachel's jaw dropped. She thought Brooke didn't know they weren't talking and now in two seconds that was proven to be false. It blew her mind to think that Brooke could pick up on certain things sometimes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play innocent. I know you're not talking. What's up?"
"Nothing, everything is fine. It was a simple misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about."
Rachel couldn't look up the entire time she spoke. Brooke picked up on that and knew immediately Rachel had lied. Something serious was going on with her friends and she was determined to get to the bottom of it, whatever it was.
"Try again. And how about you go for the truth this time instead of a lie. What do you say?"
"I'm not lying Brooke!" Rachel continued to stare at the floor.
"If you're not lying, look me in the eye and say it."
Rachel couldn't make herself look at her friend. She knew Brooke would see right through her if she did look up.
"I can't."
"I know. What's going on?"
Brooke scooted her chair closer to Rachel and wrapped her into a hug. It broke her heart to know that Rachel was hurting but she didn't know why or how to help her.
"Mouth wants to go away to school but he also wants to stay here and help out with the baby and be there for me like he promised but he can't do both and the stress is really getting to him. He's acting like he's the only one affected by me being pregnant. It makes me feel like he doesn't real care and he was just saying all that stuff to calm me down. Well if he lied to me, Mouth will wish he was the one dead and buried."
"Rachel. It's going to be fine. Even if Mouth does go away which I'm sure he won't, you'll never be alone. I can help you with whatever you need and the same goes for Haley, Nathan and even Peyton would help. Now come on, it won't look good if the salutatorian is late for graduation rehearsal and whatever else we have going on."
"That's true but it would be true Brooke Davis style to be late when she really shouldn't be."
Brooke stuck her tongue out as she grabbed the keys to her Mustang and ran out of the apartment, leaving Rachel to get out the door by herself.
"Oh sure, leave the pregnant one alone to fend for herself on the stairs," Rachel yelled as she waddled down the stairs.
"You act like you're huge. Rach, honestly, you can hardly see you have a stomach yet. Now come on, really. I don't wanna be late," Brooke replied as she went back up to help Rachel.
"Hey I'm going fast as this little one will let me."
"Come on baby, Auntie Brooke doesn't wanna be late." Brooke looked directly at Rachel's growing stomach as she spoke which made Rachel crack up.
"It's okay baby, Auntie Brooke is just crazy and somehow now she suddenly doesn't want to be late when she's never wanted to be on time for anything else since I've known her."
"Ignore her. I'm not crazy. I'm just determined."
Rachel laughed. As true as that was for Brooke it was still funny that both girls were now talking to Rachel's stomach. Brooke opened the passenger door for Rachel and waited until she was all the way in before closing it and then going around to the driver side of the car and driving off toward the school. Even though the seniors didn't have to go to any classes they were meeting at the school first and then going from there. Brooke pulled into the student lot ten minutes later and she turned to Rachel before she shut the engine off.
"You need to talk to Mouth. If you want I'll go with you but you really need to work everything out. Nothing is gonna work itself out you know. Both of you need to stop and remember that it's not just your lives you're arguing about but also the life of your unborn child. I'm not telling you that it all has to be decided today but at least talk to each other. Do you really want to remember your graduation day as a day when you weren't talking to your boyfriend who is also the father of your child?" Brooke said in a completely serious tone.
"No. I wanna talk to him but I don't know if he wants to talk to me. He might be afraid to upset me or something. I don't know Brooke. What if we do talk and it makes things worse? I don't wanna remember graduation for that either. I want to enjoy it. With all my friends and especially my boyfriend who is the father of my unborn child. But if he won't talk to me then I won't enjoy it at all. This isn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. Mouth and I were always supposed to get along when it came to the baby and the future and now it's like we can't get along at all because all we've been talking about lately are those two things. What am I gonna do Brooke?" Rachel answered her as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Brooke smiled sadly at her friend. She wasn't sure exactly what Rachel should do but she didn't have the heart to say so when she saw the tears. Instead she reached over and grabbed Rachel's hand with her own and squeezed it gently.
"I'll help you with whatever you need. Now let's go over there. I see Mouth."
"Brooke, no. I can't talk to him. I'm not ready."
Rachel tried to pull away but Brooke didn't let her go. In fact, she had a tighter grip on Rachel now. Mouth watched from afar as he saw Brooke trying to get Rachel over to talk to him and Rachel was obviously fighting back. It broke his heart to know that his girlfriend, the mother of his unborn child, didn't want to talk to him. Or that someone had to force her into it. Just as he was about to turn and walk away Mouth felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly to see Haley standing behind him.
"Mouth, you'll work it out. You're both just scared and stressed out. Everything's gonna be fine. But I think maybe you should go to Rachel. Honestly I think more than anything right now she's afraid that you don't wanna talk to her and that fear is stopping her from coming over here and talking to you herself. Trust me, Mouth. It's all gonna be okay. Rachel just needs to know that you want to talk to her as much as she wants to talk to you," Haley said hoping that Mouth would listen and take her advice. It was killing her to watch him hurting as Rachel refused to talk to him.
"I don't know if I can talk to her. All we do is fight anymore and we weren't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be easy talking to each other. But now she won't even come over here because she sees that I'm standing here. I just watched as Brooke tried to get her to come over here and she fought back. All this stress isn't good for the baby but if she won't come to me I'm afraid of what will happen if I try going to her. She might really freak out. I don't know what else to do. This is so hard. My dream school is hundreds of miles away but my girlfriend and my child are going to most likely be here, in Tree Hill. I can't just leave her here alone after I promised not to but I can't give up on my dream either," Mouth replied as he looked toward where Rachel was sitting on a picnic table between Brooke and Bevin with her head in her hands so Mouth could only guess that she was crying and it was because they were fighting that she was crying.
"Mouth your dreams can wait. Rachel needs you now."
Haley walked away as those last words rang in Mouth's head. Rachel needs you now Mouth said to himself as he continued to watch her breakdown.
"Dawg, if you don't get your skinny white ass over to your girl in five seconds I'm gonna beat it," Skills said as he walked over and put his arm around Mouth's shoulders.
"Thanks Skills. I appreciate that," Mouth replied as he tried to laugh but failed.
"I'm not kiddin dawg. Get over there. You know damn well that she's scared and the longer you stay away the worse it's gonna be for her."
"How the hell does everyone else know what my girlfriend needs but I don't have a clue?"
"Just cause you two aren't talking don't mean she doesn't talk to me. Besides that she's my girl's best friend. I know all about what goes on in Rachel's life. Even when I don't want to, except for the sex life, thank god."
Mouth couldn't help but laugh at that. At least Rachel kept some parts of her life to herself. Either that or Bevin didn't tell Skills because she didn't think he'd wanna hear about their friends' sex life. Whatever it was, he was glad that Skills was out of the loop in that part of his life.
"You're not still standing here acting all broody like another friend would do if it were Brooke in tears are you?" Skill asked as he slapped Mouth upside his head.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" Mouth replied as he rubbed the back of his head where Skills had just slapped him.
"Just trying to knock some sense into your head. Did it work? Cause if not, I can always hit you harder."
"No way. I'm going."
Mouth walked toward the picnic table where it was just Rachel now. He stopped in front of her and cleared his throat hoping to get her attention. When that didn't work Mouth reached out and grabbed one of Rachel's small hands into his own before bringing it to his lips and kissing it lightly.
"Rachel," he said quietly.
She kept looking at the ground. There were tears in her eyes and she really didn't want Mouth to see them. It would just make talking to him harder than Rachel felt like it was already gonna be and she didn't need or want that.
"Please, baby, I know you don't want me to see your tears but look at me."
Rachel shook her head furiously. She was determined not to let Mouth see her crying. Even though she knew he had been watching before when Brooke and Bevin had been sitting on the bench with her.
"I get it Mouth. You've dreamt of going to MIT since you were a little boy. If that's what you want, fine go. I don't need you to stick around if you're only gonna do it because you feel like you have to. I want to be here because you want to be here. The baby and I don't fit into your dreams so don't try and force us in there and then make me believe that it's always been that way. Because you wanna know something? It hasn't always been like that. It's never been like that. You just wanna go off to college and do your own thing while I stay here and try to get through this pregnancy alone and then have our child alone. This is our child Mouth! Ours, I didn't climb on top of myself and get pregnant. You helped create this life, you need to man up and stay here and help raise this child with me," Rachel exploded.
By now the entire senior class was listening to them argue. A lot them stood there, mouths wide open, completely shocked. Some of them knew Mouth and Rachel had been arguing about the baby but they had never said a word about it during school to each other.
"You think I don't know that I need to help you raise this child? How the hell do you expect me to help if I don't go to school and get my degree so I can make us some money. Did you ever think of that Rachel?"
"Did you ever think that maybe you being hundreds of miles away earning that money doesn't mean shit to me if I don't see it and you can't guarantee that I would see it because you never know what could happen at any given time. So yes I did think about that, I just didn't think you'd leave town, no never mind, leave the state in order to do it. I guess I was wrong. I never should have trusted you when you said you weren't going anywhere. Because you not going anywhere has become 'I'm going to MIT Rachel'. Thanks for breaking your promise Mouth."
Rachel slapped Mouth hard across his cheek before getting off the bench and walking over to Brooke who was leaned up against a tree and collapsed into a hug.
"He's not staying. He's leaving. Why did I trust him?" Rachel cried into Brooke's shoulder.
"The hell he's not staying. Haley, come here a second," Brooke replied.
Haley walked over and switched with Brooke while she went over to talk to Mouth herself. Mouth looked up and saw Brooke walking toward him, an angry expression all over her face. He cringed when she stopped in front of him.
"You better not be leaving Mouth. If you do, I swear I will find you and kill you because at least then Rachel would know there was no possible way for you to be there for her and the baby. But if you go to MIT that's worse than you dying because if you're still alive you could be here but of course, god forbid you should put someone you love ahead of your dreams. I thought I knew you Mouth, I thought you were my friend but friends don't walk out on responsibility just because there's something else they would rather do. Especially not my friends. They know better, damn it Mouth, you know better! Rachel needs you, the baby needs you. I need you sometimes too but I guess we can all forget about having you around. Thanks Mouth, really. That's excellent," Brooke screamed. Then before she walked off, Brooke slapped Mouth on his other cheek.
"This is not how graduation day is supposed to go," Mouth muttered to himself.
Later that night, Mouth and Rachel still weren't talking and it seemed like everyone was mad at Mouth. Nobody seemed to be mad at Rachel because Heaven forbid someone actually yell at a pregnant girl and say something that might offend her. He didn't think it was fair that all the anger and the screaming was directed at him. Brooke walked over to Mouth and much to his surprise she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. After he got passed the initial shock Mouth returned the hug.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"Because we shouldn't be fighting on our graduation day. I'm sorry I screamed at you earlier Mouth. I'm just so tired of seeing Rachel upset and knowing you had everything to do with it. I lost my temper when she came back in tears after I watched you scream at her. Which by the way you better not do that again or I will kick your ass. You can count on it," Brooke replied.
Mouth just gave her a half smile before walking off to find Rachel. He needed to apologize to her. They shouldn't be fighting like they were, they should be able to have normal conversations about everything. As soon as he spotted her the smile that was on her face disappeared. Mouth felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw that happen.
"Don't you dare think that apologizing is going to fix anything," Rachel snapped.
"I don't. In fact, I know it's not gonna fix a thing. I'm not trying to fix anything right now. I just need you to know that I am sorry Rachel. I've been an asshole lately. And I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?" Mouth replied.
"Why should I? You're leaving me here in Tree Hill to raise a baby alone after you promised you were never going anywhere."
"Believe me because I love you."
Rachel scowled. She had been desperately hoping that Mouth wouldn't use that as his reasoning but she should have known better. Mouth always did that when he felt bad about something. She really didn't want to cave in, she wanted to stay mad at him to show that saying I love you can't fix everything in their relationship.
"How can I believe you love me when you lied about staying? Tell me Mouth, how do I know you're not lying about that too?"
His heart fell again. This was gonna be much harder than he had anticipated. Rachel was generally pretty forgiving. Up until now apparently as Mouth was noticing. It wasn't that he blamed her but it still hurt to know that the things that used to work weren't even coming close now. A tear slid down his face and Rachel's anger flared up at that exact moment.
"NO! Don't you dare think about crying your way out of this. It's not gonna work. I'm not kidding Mouth. Don't do it."
"What do I have to do to make you believe that I'm sorry?"
"Stay."
"I can't stay."
"Then there's nothing else you can do. You broke your promise. Get away from me."
"Rach"
"No! I said get away from me."
"Please, don't be like this. It's not like I wanna leave and break my promise but I don't have a choice."
"Why not? Huh? Why don't you have a choice Mouth? Who's forcing you to leave and break the biggest promise you made to your pregnant girlfriend? Tell me. I'd like to know."
He shook his head. He didn't want to tell her that the only person making him go was himself because then she'd really be pissed and he didn't want that either.
"Fine, don't tell me. I don't really give a damn anyway."
Rachel was about to walk away but couldn't because the graduation march had started and they had to make their way out toward their seats. Thankfully Rachel had decided to sit with Brooke, Haley, Bevin and Peyton. Okay, Peyton wasn't Rachel's choice but if she was gonna sit with Brooke and Haley it meant also sitting with Peyton. Mouth sat with Skills and Nathan.
"Dude, what the hell is going on with you and Rachel today? Every time I see you together one of you is screaming at the other one. Are you guys okay?" Nathan asked as the three boys sat down.
"Oh yeah, everything's just great. If you count the fact that I have to go back on a promise in order to go to school so I can make some money for Rachel and the baby," Mouth replied.
"That's bull, dawg, you ain't gotta go to MIT to make money for them. Your skinny white ass needs to stay in town like you promised. Get a damn job and go to the tech for a while. But do not, I repeat, do not leave this state. I'm serious, if you leave I'll give Rachel a real reason to cry over you. I'll murder your ass," Skills said with an angry undertone. He was sick of Mouth upsetting Rachel lately and not really trying to make it better. Instead it kept getting worse.
"When the hell did you get so protective of my girlfriend?"
"The minute you were acting like a selfish ass. This isn't all about you anymore stop thinking like it is. Rachel can't go to school this semester because she's due around finals and that's too much stress for her and then you add to it by telling her you're breaking your promise not to leave her and you won't change your mind no matter how many times someone asks you too or Rachel cries."
Meanwhile, the girls were talking about anything but Mouth just to make sure they kept Rachel in good spirits. So far it seemed to be working. Or at least they thought it was working until Rachel looked behind them and locked eyes with Mouth. As soon as she did, she whipped her head back around and slammed her eyes shut hoping to push the tears back. She was determined not to cry over Mouth tonight. There had been too much of that through out the day and the past week. Rachel was surprised she had any tears left to cry.
"I will not cry for him. I will not cry for him," Rachel kept repeating quietly as she slowly opened her eyes again.
"Don't let him get to you. No matter what he makes you think, he really doesn't wanna leave. I think he's scared to stay and mess things up," Brooke whispered in Rachel's ear while Mr. Turner babbled from the stage.
Rachel nodded slowly. She desperately wanted to believe what Brooke said was true because then it meant that Mouth did still love her and wanna help but he was scared. Yeah, she really hoped that was Mouth's reason for saying he had to leave. Did it make her hurt any less? No, if Rachel thought about it, the fact that Mouth was running scared hurt more because if he was running it made her think he didn't love her enough to stay here and work through the fear with her.
Brooke was lost in her own thought next to Rachel. For the first time all day, she was able to focus on the fact that Lucas wasn't graduating with them like he should have been. He didn't even know his girlfriend was the salutatorian of the class or that his best friend was the valedictorian. Brooke desperately tried to keep the tears back but once she heard Mr. Turner mention the "tragic day that changed Tree Hill High forever" she lost it. Hearing someone else talk about her boyfriend dying was too much for her.
"Luke, it's not fair that you don't get to be here. You should be here, right next to me or over with the guys. But you're not. You're gone. Damn it. I didn't wanna cry tonight but I can't hold it back anymore. I wish you were here with us so much. I dunno if anything will ever be the same again," Brooke said under her breath as she continued to cry.
Brooke was in such a daze that she hadn't realized the principal had asked her to come up to the podium to deliver her speech. Not until Peyton and Rachel elbowed her in both sides. She jerked her head up and looked at them questioningly. They were pointing to the stage where Mr. Turner was motioning for her to take his place at the podium. Brooke took a deep breath before rising to her feet and walking up to the podium.
"Sorry to make y'all wait. Anyway, as you all know I've been through some rough stuff these past few months. It was hard getting out of bed and living knowing the one person I loved with all my heart and loved me back was gone. Sometimes it hurt to breathe, then not long after Lucas died, I found out I was pregnant. I thought great, another hurdle to get over. Another challenge to get through without the love of my life. But as the days go on I am learning that as hard as it is to live without Lucas, it's not impossible. Which leads me to the point of what I'm trying to say. Nothing is impossible. If you believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities, then you can do anything you set out to do. Never give up on the people you love and who love you back. Everybody's got somebody to love them. Thanks and congratulations to the seniors! We made it guys. Let's get this thing going," Brooke said as she stood at the podium, gripping its sides for deal life.
She didn't want to shed a single tear and somehow she had managed to keep herself composed. Carefully Brooke made her way down the steps and back to her friends. As soon as she sat down, they converged on her wrapping her into a hug. Nathan, Mouth and Skills had all whistled and hollered when she was done. If they had been sitting closer they too would have joined in on the group hug Brooke was lost in.
"Now I would like to ask this year's valedictorian, Miss Haley James-Scott to come up here. We've heard from the student who was number two now it's time to hear from the student who ranked at the top. Haley," Mr. Turner said after some old guy as Brooke referred to him was done yakking.
"I know you're all expecting some long and boring speech since it's my turn. But you're not getting that. Instead, I'm gonna do something a little bit different. I need some help from a few of my friends though. Brooke, Nathan, will you two come up here please," Haley said as she approached the podium.
The three of them stood on the stage. Ready to play the song that they had been practicing forever. After Haley knew for sure she was the valedictorian they agreed to play this song at the graduation in place of Haley writing a speech and putting everyone to sleep. Brooke was playing the keyboard, Nathan was on the drums and Haley was playing the guitar. She waited patiently for Nathan to count them down before she strummed the opening chord and then leaned toward the microphone to sing.
So denied,
So I lied,
Are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had,
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line
Along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go,
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is frozen motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to good bye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to good bye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Nathan crashed his drumsticks on the cymbals one more time and then the entire audience, graduating seniors and all the administrators who were in attendance applauded the three teens thunderously.
"Goodbye Tree Hill High, we love you!" Haley said before she turned to get down from the stage.
Brooke and Nathan followed Haley down the steps where they all wrapped each other into a tight embrace.
"The only thing missing now is Luke. I wish he could have been here to do that with us," Haley said somberly.
"Hey, he's not missing. Remember, Hales, we have Luke in our hearts and thoughts always. Maybe nobody could see him but they all know we took our fallen friend, brother and love up onto that stage with us just now," Nathan said as he squeezed Haley a little tighter.
"Nate's right Hales. As hard as it is to miss Lucas right now, he's still with us and every single person that's here tonight knows it. They know that out of everyone in this school it was you, Nathan and myself that were hit the hardest by Lucas' death. We've made it this far now let's go get our diplomas and make him even prouder," Brooke chimed in.
Haley nodded in response. Nathan gave each of the girls one more hug before they split up to go back to their seats.
Meanwhile in the audience…James and Ryan Davis, Keith and Karen, Lydia and Jim James, Deb Scott and Larry Sawyer were smiling. It was wonderful to see that the three teens were pulling themselves together and making it through another tough night. Most of them knew how proud Lucas was of them. Some, mostly James and Ryan would never know unless they asked which they decided that after the ceremony they would talk to Brooke.
"And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Seniors please rise," Mr. Turner said once he was at the podium again. The entire class rose to their feet.
"Abigail Joan Brown…Brooke Penelope Davis…John Allen Ferris…Rachel Colleen Gattina…Marvin Joseph McFadden…Cedric Tanner Marshall…Bevin Anne Maskey…Brandon Christian Roth…Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer…Haley Marie James-Scott…Nathan Bryan Scott…Timothy Clayton Smith…Fergus Cornell Thompson…and finally Marcus Luis Vasquez," Mr. Turner announced as each student approached the podium to receive their diploma. He waited until they were all back to their chairs before speaking again.
"Haley, as valedictorian I would like to ask you to do one more thing for your fellow seniors. Please lead them in moving their tassles," Mr. Turner spoke again.
Haley walked back to the podium and made sure everyone was paying attention.
"All right guys, this is the moment we've been waiting for all night long. Are you ready? Everyone grab your tassle and move it from right to left (A/N: I forget which way it's supposed to go so if it's backwards please don't shoot me!)," Haley said as she too did what she was asking.
"Congratulations to the Tree Hill High graduating class of 2006!" Mr. Turner yelled.
Everyone threw their cap in the air and they were screaming and hollering. They made it. High school was over and they all made it through. All of us except Lucas Brooke thought to herself as she threw her cap in the air again.
Wow…that was the longest chapter yet! I hope ya'll enjoyed it. Anyway…the song is "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6 just in case you were wondering. Please leave me the love! Peace out kids.