Brooke looked down at the little boy in Rachel's arms and smiled despite the tears that were in her eyes. She was happy for her friends but she couldn't help but wish Lucas were still around. The only people she had around for her when Avery was born were the doctors and all because she had been foolish and nearly ended both hers and Avery's lives. All Brooke wanted was a complete family and that would never happen. At least not with her and Lucas and Avery. Not the way she wanted it to happen.
"I'm sorry, I have to get out of here," she whispered before she turned and ran out of the room.
Brooke didn't stop running until she was in the waiting area where she remembered leaving Peyton and Haley hours ago. They both looked worried when they saw the salty tracks on her cheeks from the tears.
"Brooke what's wrong? Is Rachel okay?" Haley asked as her and Peyton stood up.
"Rachel's fine. She had the baby. His name is Lucas Everett Shane McFadden. He's perfect. They have the perfect little family in there. And what do I get? I get to raise my son without his father, the love of my life to help me. What did I do to deserve that? Was I really that bad of a person to deserve this hand I've been dealt?" Brooke replied as more tears fell from her eyes.
"Hey, listen to me," Peyton said firmly as she grabbed Brooke by her shoulders, "Lucas may not be here anymore but you need to remember that you're not doing this alone. Right Hales?"
"Yeah. You know that Peyton, Rachel, Mouth, Ryan, Karen and Keith, your dad, Nathan and I are all going to help you out. No none of us are Lucas but I think having the help you've got is better than nothing. Please don't be like this Brookie. You're so much stronger. I know it and you know it too," Haley said in agreement with Peyton.
Brooke rolled her eyes at her friends' words. She wasn't in the mood for another "you can do this, you're not alone" talks. Because without Lucas Brooke felt alone no matter how many people stepped up to help her. Lucas was all she wanted. Nothing else. With tears still in her eyes Brooke lifted Avery from his car seat and held him tight against her chest as she inhaled his sweet baby scent. Sometimes when Brooke held Avery this way she would close her eyes and imagine Lucas was standing with them and the three of them were wrapped in a hug. Brooke's perfect little family. She was still standing there hugging Avery tightly when she heard her cell phone go off. Not wanting to leave her thoughts Brooke ignored it. And she was blocking out the rest of her surroundings until her phone went off again and she felt someone jabbing her insistently.
"Brooke answer your phone will you," she heard Peyton's voice say impatiently.
"Hello," she said agitatedly.
"Hey it's Jake. You never answered my text message," he said in what sounded to Brooke like a brokenhearted tone.
"I'm sorry. I didn't see it. There's just so much going on right now that I forgot to check. What's up Jake?"
"I'm not going to be a father again apparently."
"What? Why not? Did something happen to Emily?"
"You could say that."
Brooke could hear the bitterness in Jake's voice and was suddenly concerned for her friend.
"I don't understand. What happened Jake?"
"She cheated on me. The baby isn't mine. I woke up this morning to a note on the pillow next to me. Emily didn't even have the decency to wake me up to tell me she was leaving me."
"Jake I'm sorry but if she didn't care enough to tell you she was leaving then she wasn't the girl for you."
"I know. But the thing is, I was staying with her at her parents' house and now that she's gone they're kicking me out. I have no where to go."
Brooke groaned. She silently hoped Jake wouldn't ask her what she was afraid he was going to ask. Now really wasn't the best time for him to come back to Tree Hill. Especially with everything that was going on between Nathan and Haley. Brooke was pretty confident that Jake would pound Nathan if he knew what happened to Haley. Not that Brooke didn't think Nathan deserved to get a taste of his own medicine but if Jake beat him up that could land him in jail away from Jenny.
"Please, don't ask me what I think you're going to. Now really isn't the best time for you to come back to Tree Hill."
"I was just gonna ask if you knew of anyone looking for a roommate. Why shouldn't I come back right now? What's going on?"
Brooke was nervous. She knew Jake would wanna know what was going on with everything. What she didn't know was whether or not she should tell him.
"Brooke?" he said after the line was silent for a few minutes.
"Sorry I'm still here," she replied.
"What's going on?"
"Just a lot of drama."
"Brooke, that's Tree Hill. I appreciate you wanting to save me from the drama but that's all my life has been since Jenny was born. A little more isn't going to kill me. Will you please tell me what's really going on? Are you okay?"
"Me personally? I'm fine. But there's other stuff I don't know if I can tell you."
Haley looked at Brooke with wide eyes suddenly realizing that the brunette was toying with whether or not to mention what was going on with Haley and Nathan. Brooke saw the wide-eyed look and told Jake to hold on a minute.
"Brooke you can't tell him! He'll hurt Nathan," Haley protested frantically.
"Hales, I have to," Brooke replied.
"Why?"
"Because if he comes back to Tree Hill it's gonna get back to him anyway."
"What do you mean if he comes back to Tree Hill?" Peyton asked eyes sparkling with hope.
"Nothing, never mind. It's just a speculation," Brooke said quickly as she turned her attention back to the phone.
"Okay, what's going on with Haley?" Jake asked suspiciously.
Brooke swallowed hard before handing Avery to Peyton and walking away to a quieter spot. If she was going to tell Jake she didn't want to do it in front of Haley and make her upset again.
"Nathan hit her," Brooke said quickly.
"What was that? I didn't catch it."
"Nathan hit her."
"Excuse me? I'll kill that jerk. What was his excuse?"
"I don't know. Haley won't really talk about it."
"She's not staying with him is she?"
"Right now, no. She's gonna talk to Karen about staying in Lucas' room for a little while."
"Good. Is that the only reason you don't want me to come back to Tree Hill or are you afraid that I'm going to break the heart of a certain curly blonde haired friend of yours?"
"No because I know you're not dumb enough to do that again but Jake, she's still holding out hope that you'll come back to her. If you don't feel that way anymore you really need to tell her. And if that hurts her, I promise that I won't hurt you. The only reason I would hurt you is if you led her to believe you still loved her and then turned around and acted differently."
"Brooke I'm not gonna hurt Peyton. I don't think that spark that we had is there anymore. Besides my heart can't take a relationship right now."
"Okay. Well in that case, I dunno how you'd feel about this but there's another bedroom in my apartment. You're welcome to it if you want."
"Thanks Brooke. You won't even know I'm there."
"Jake you don't have to hide from me. We're friends remember?"
"I know. Okay well I guess I'll see you soon."
"Bye roomie!"
"Bye Brooke."
She smiled as she could hear the laughter in Jake's voice. Suddenly Brooke realized what she had done. Jake was gonna stay with her for who knew how long. She was beginning to think that wasn't the best idea but she wasn't going to call him and tell him to forget it either.
"Did you tell him? Does he hate Nathan?" Haley asked Brooke nervously.
"Yes I did and if he hates Nathan he didn't show it," Brooke answered.
"So is Jake coming back?" Peyton asked, Brooke felt her heart sink as she watched her best friend's eyes light up with hope.
"He's coming back but Peyt I don't think you're gonna be as happy as you think you are when he comes back."
"What? Why not? Jake's coming back to me. How could I not be happy?"
Brooke shook her head slowly. This wasn't gonna be easy but she knew she should tell Peyton that Jake wasn't coming back to her or even for her. In fact Brooke couldn't help but wonder if Jake was coming back for her and Avery rather than Peyton. As soon as that thought crossed her mind Brooke shook her head violently. Jake wouldn't come back for me. We're just friends Brooke thought to herself.
"And roommates now," she mumbled the last sentence quietly.
Suddenly Brooke was nervous. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe Jake had said okay to staying with her for reasons different then what she was thinking. Did he secretly want something to happen between them? Brooke didn't want to think about it. If she did then she was allowing herself to move on from Lucas and even though it had been almost 8 months now, the engagement ring was still on her hand. Brooke looked down at her left hand with tear-filled eyes. As much as she loved Lucas she couldn't help but feel like the ring no longer represented what it was meant for. Wiping her eyes Brooke lifted Avery from Haley's arms and placed him in his seat and swiftly walked away without saying a word.
Peyton and Haley watched in awkward silence as Brooke walked away. Neither of them knew what was going on but they were both worried.
"Do you think Jake said something to her?" Haley asked nervously.
"What could he possibly say to make her walk off like that Hales?" Peyton replied.
"I don't know. Something's bothering her."
"You think I don't know that? You think I can't see that despite the smile she wears daily Brooke is falling apart while desperately trying to hold on for Avery?"
"I'd be falling apart too if Nathan had died and left me in Brooke's shoes. And god knows I'm falling apart without Luke. Nobody knows me like he did, except for Nathan and right now I'm afraid to be near him. The two people that matter the most to me are the two I can't turn now."
With her head down Haley walked toward the elevator to exit the hospital. She hated that she couldn't go home to Nathan or go talk to Lucas. Right now she really needed him. As she walked around Tree Hill Haley didn't even know where she was going until she found herself standing at the edge of the River Court looking out over the water. It was dark out now so the lights were on and Haley thought it was amazing how they reflected off the water. Silently she stood there as tears rolled down her face.
"Luke I can't take it. What did I do to make Nathan hate me? What did I do to make him hit me? He's never been like that before. I can't stand it. He's not the same Nathan that I married, he's not the same Nathan I fell in love with," Haley cried as she stared at the water in front of her.
She was still standing there when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Resisting the urge to scream Haley turned slightly and let go of the breath she was holding in when she saw Keith standing there. The look on his face was almost enough to melt her heart.
"Hey, what's going on with you? Karen said you were supposed to work at the café today and you never showed up. Is everything okay Hales?" Keith asked genuinely concerned.
"Oh my god. I completely forgot. Karen must hate me," Haley said as she put a hand over her mouth.
"No she could never hate you. She was just worried that something was going on. And judging by the fact that you're standing here crying I can see she was right. Want to tell me what's going on?"
"How much did you hear?"
"Something about Nathan not being the same person you married. Hales what's going on? Did he hurt you?"
Haley looked down at her shoes and kicked the ground under her. She didn't want to tell Keith that Nathan had hit her. It would just make him angry and Haley couldn't do that to him. The longer she stared at the ground the longer Keith stood next to her silently waiting for her to answer him.
"Yes," she finally answered but it was just loud enough that only she could hear it.
"What was that?" Keith asked.
"Yes. Nathan hurt me. He hit me. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Haley screamed as she looked up at Keith. He was shocked by the anger he saw blazing in her eyes.
"It's not what I wanted to hear but I'm glad you told me the truth. Why did he hit you?"
"I don't know. I don't know what I did wrong. But it's like lately he hates me and all he does is yell at me. He never hit me until today."
Keith reached out to pull Haley into a hug but she pulled back. The last thing she wanted was another sympathetic hug. Nothing was going to fix this. Nothing was going to take away the fact that her husband had hit her. She couldn't even talk to her best friend about it because he was dead. Keith tried to hug her again and this time Haley pushed him away.
"Don't touch me! You can't fix this," she screamed as she ran away from Keith, leaving him standing at the river's edge in shock. Haley had never screamed at him before and he wasn't sure if he liked that experience.
Haley ran until she was in front of the door of her and Nathan's apartment. As much as she wanted to go in there she was afraid that Nathan would be there. And if Nathan was there Haley was afraid that he would hit her again. Sighing nervously Haley reached for her key and unlocked the door. The lights were on so Haley tried to be as quiet as possible. As she approached the bedroom door which was closed Haley thought she could hear someone crying. Immediately her heart broke as she realized that someone was crying and that someone was Nathan. Just as she was about to open the door and go to him Haley quickly turned around and left the apartment again. If Brooke knew that she was with Nathan after he had hit her there was no telling how mad Brooke would be at Haley. Before Haley walked out of the apartment she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. "You need help. Love Haley" was all she wrote before she dropped the note on the counter and then walked out.
Nathan's crying had slowed down and he listened as he thought he heard someone in the apartment. You blew it man, Haley's not here. She's gone and she's never coming back. She's gone and so is Luke Nathan said to himself as he lay back against Haley's pillow and breathed in her scent. He couldn't believe he had gone so far as to hit her. That was something he had always sworn he would never do and now he was laying on the bed in tears because he had hit Haley. And what for? Because he was in a new stage of grief over the death of his brother? That was no reason to hurt someone who he loved dearly the way he loved Haley.
"If you loved her you wouldn't hit her asshole," he cried.
Nathan reached over to his side of the bed and grabbed his pillow and then threw it at the door angrily. After lying there crying for another ten minutes he rose to his feet and decided he would look for Haley. Of course he knew that there was a good chance he wouldn't find her and even if he did there was no guarantee she would actually wanna talk to him and it wasn't like he blamed her. It was his fault if she refused to talk to her, he was the one that hit her. Not the other way around. Just as he opened the door to the apartment Nathan was surprised to find Keith standing on the other side with fire burning in his eyes.
"What did you do to her?" Keith asked evenly.
"Look man, I know it was wrong. I don't need you to stand here and lecture me that hitting women is wrong. I know that. I'm an asshole for doing and I wouldn't blame Hales if she never trusted me again but I can't not apologize or at least try. I appreciate you looking out for Haley's wellbeing but you're not Luke, you can't save her. I'm not even sure I can save her but I don't really deserve to try because like I said, this is all my fault. Now if you'll excuse me I need to find my wife," Nathan replied.
"I'm not trying to save Haley you asshole. I just want to know what the hell you were thinking when you hit her? What could she possibly have done to deserve that? She's right, you're not the same guy she married. The guy she married never would have considered hitting her and you not only considered it but you went through with it."
"Damn it Keith. I know I was wrong. But if I don't go talk to her and tell her I'm sorry right now I might never apologize and that's worse then what I did. I'm not really sure how but that's how it is. Move before I hit you."
"Don't threaten me Nate. I'm bigger than you are."
Nathan looked down at his uncle and chuckled.
"Really then why am I looking down to be at eye level with you?"
"Don't be smart."
"I'm not. You're just pissed because I'm bigger than you. Now I'm serious. Move, I need to find Haley."
Nathan and Keith were still standing in front of the door when Brooke walked up the stairs carrying Avery and his diaper bag along with her purse and trying to get her keys out to open the door.
"Let me help you Brooke," Nathan offered.
"No I got it," Jake said as he came up the stairs a second later and took the keys from Brooke's finger and opened the door.
Nathan watched silently as Jake entered the apartment behind Brooke and then closed the door behind them. Not wanting to waste anymore time worrying about why Jake was in town or in Brooke's apartment Nathan walked toward the stairs to go find Haley. Keith was right behind him and they both stopped when they heard a door open and then Brooke calling Nathan's name. He groaned as he went back up the stairs.
"What Brooke?" he asked impatiently.
"Stay away from Haley. I mean it," Brooke said firmly.
Nathan laughed as he walked away and went back down the stairs. He wasn't gonna let some empty, unspoken threat from Brooke stop him from talking to his wife. It wasn't her decision anyway. If Nathan wanted to go find Haley and talk to her or at least try she wasn't in any position to stop him.
"Damn it Nathan! Why won't you listen to me!" Brooke hollered.
Nathan kept walking away as Brooke continued yelling. Finally Nathan was far enough away that he could no longer hear Brooke. He kept walking around looking for Haley. He had no idea where she would be. Well he had ideas but he wasn't sure where to go first. Keith had finally given up and left Nathan alone to look for Haley.
Brooke went back into the apartment and grabbed her cell phone. If Nathan was looking for Haley she figured that she should give her friend a head's up.
"Hey it's me," she said when Haley answered.
"What's up?" Haley replied.
"Nate's looking for you."
"What? Oh god, did he seem angry?"
"I'm not really sure. I told him to stay away from you but he laughed at me. Please be careful Haley."
"I will. Thanks for letting me know."
"You're welcome."
"Bye."
Brooke closed her phone and turned around to see Jake holding Avery as he sat on the couch watching some basketball game or something. She smiled to herself as she thought that having Jake around was going to be really good for Avery.
"What are you boys watching?" she asked.
"USC and Notre Dame," Jake replied.
"Basketball?"
"No. Football."
"Oh."
Brooke flopped onto the couch next to Jake and leaned her head against his shoulder. It was nice having a guy around. Even if the guy wasn't Lucas. Ten minutes later Brooke was sound asleep. Jake chuckled to himself as he heard her breathing change. Carefully he shifted Avery to the other arm and he pulled Brooke down so her head was in his lap and ran his hands through her hair. As weird as it was to be staying with Brooke, Jake thought it might be worth it as he saw how cute she looked asleep on his lap.
"Avery you can't tell Mommy but she's a very cute sleeper," he whispered to the little boy who just stared back at him.
An hour went by before Brooke woke up. When she did she was surprised to find herself on the couch with her head on Jake's lap. Looking up a smile spread across her face as she saw Jake was asleep with Avery rested carefully in his arms, wide awake.
"Hey baby let's go get Jake a blanket," she whispered as she carefully took Avery from Jake's grasp.
"I'm awake," Jake mumbled as he felt Brooke taking Avery.
"Sure you are," Brooke laughed.
"No really."
"Okay I believe you but it's time for this little guy to go to bed."
"Let me do it."
Brooke nodded as Jake stood up and took Avery down the hall to his bedroom.
"Brooke will you grab my guitar for me?" Jake called from Avery's room after he had changed Avery's diaper and put his pajamas on him.
Brooke walked in the room carrying Jake's guitar. She handed it to him and then quickly snapped a picture of the two boys. Brooke stood in the doorway as Jake began to play a song on his guitar. She continued to stand there and listen as Jake sang to her son.
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be My Baby
I'll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow IT down
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
I'll look after you
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
As soon as Jake was done he and Brooke both realized that Avery was asleep. She smiled as she walked into the room and leaned down to kiss Avery good night before Jake placed him in his crib.
"Good night Avery," Jake said softly as he watched the boy sleep for a minute before turning to see Brooke smile at him.
"You're amazing," was all she said before she threw her arms around him.
"It was nothing really."
"Jake, really it was everything. You have no idea."
"I meant it. Every word. I'll look after him. And you, whatever you need I'll be there for you."
"Thank you."
Brooke kissed his cheek sweetly. Jake stood there completely blown away. He knew that Brooke would appreciate having him around but he wasn't expecting her to react that way. Oh who was he kidding, he knew Brooke would act that way. After all she was still Brooke Davis.
"You're welcome."
Meanwhile Nathan was still looking for Haley. He already tried the River Court and the café and the cemetery but had not found her. Just as he was about to give up he remembered that her and Lucas had made a golf course on the roof of the café. Swiftly he turned around and walked back toward the café hoping that he would find Haley and she would talk to him.
The song is The Fray "Look After You". Tell me what you thought! You know reviews are my drug!