Read and Review, my dear readers. Read and REVEIW.

MAX POV

I screamed. I'm not ashamed. You would scream too if a huge, bearded giant was grinning at you from above. I bet that you would probably wet your pants, too. Anyhoo, once I'd finished the screaming, I scrambled out of his weird hug and landed on my butt. On the floor. Yes, real smooth Max. That was the heroic part of ya.

"Who the hell are you?" I yelped, scuttling away from big an' bearded.

"I'm right here, you know! And I can hear you! I'm not deaf, for my own sake!" snapped a black haired man- oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod. The man was huge, and sitting in a throne made of a black…substance. Sure. That's what we'll call it. To be blunt, he looked like death. Long black hair, black robes that looked like they had pouting faces on them…hello, weird much? And his skin was as pale as though he'd just died. Huh. And I was half expecting eyeliner. Of course, that's when I noticed the fourteen humongous beings staring at me, with varying levels of amazement, irritation, awe (what? I'm awe worthy!) amusement, and from one- omygosh, he was HOT!- A quick smirk and a wink.

Then my temper clawed its way free. "Right." I said, my hands on my hips. "Who the hell are you and where the hell am I? If I don't get some answers right now I will pound the person closest to me!" I hissed, narrowing my eyes dangerously. I gave everyone in the vicinity my best death glare. I had just been kicked out of my whole world, nearly ran through with a sword, collided with a flying thing, and ogled by giants. I would do my best to wreak as much havoc as possible if crossed.

Suddenly, the bearded giant laughed loudly. "That's my girl!" He roared, and I stared at him.

"Umm…" I trailed off, staring at him in astonishment. "You're my dad?" I squeaked, surprised. I mean, come on, wouldn't you be? But really, first I get the crazy, blond director in Germany claiming to be my dearest mommy, and then Jeb. So who the hell was it?

"The one and only lord Zeus, king of the skies." He…er…thundered. No friggin' pun intended. I paled. Great, my knew daddy is insane. Ready for the funny farm. And actually, while we're at it, I'll go too. TAKE ME WITH YOU! Zeus frowned. "I'm not insane." He huffed.

Ooo-kay… "So, you can read my mind. Because you're God." I said, completely bewildered. The large people laughed. I breathed in through my nose to keep my cool, though I could feel it slipping away. I. Don't like it. When people. Laugh. At. Me.

"Darling, you've got your daddy's temper!" cooed a beautiful, brown- haired woman in a white silk dress.

"And I suppose that you think you're my mom" I said irritably. "Well…yes, actually." The woman sighed and looked towards the girl and three boys. Oh. They were here too? Great. Just peachy, oh the JOY. Not. Please, feel free to ignore my pointed sarcasm.

"Heroes, I expect you to ease her gently into this. Tell her everything. And leave nothing out, for if you do, she will probably make a stupid mistakes. Probably. Now go." She waved her hand, and my vision went black- again.

When I had my vision back, I was in an airy, white room. Marble pillars lined the walls, and huge windows- with no glass in them- were draped with fluttery purple, gold, and silver cloths. I did a quick three-sixty—yeah, the room was empty. Staggering to my feet, I gazed down at myself. Did I have all of my limbs? Yes. Was I wearing my old clothes? Heck no. I groaned as I beheld (don't ya just love that word?) my new…attire. I needed to find a mirror, and fast.

Okay, some of you were probably just stunned into silence there…because Max never, ever needs a mirror. Max doesn't even own a freakin' mirror. But I desperately needed to see what these wackos had done with me.

So I walked down the corridors on my little quest…AH! FINALLY! I reached—right, before I continue, I should probably explain the corridors. They were just like the room I had been in, made of light marble, and fluted columns, huge windows with fluttering curtains…Anyway…finally. I'd found a mirror, and it was huge. It covered an entire section of a wall. Then my jaw dropped.

What had they done TO MY FACE? I was wearing (gag) make-up. (EWWWW, GET IT OFF! GET IT FREAKIN' OFF!) I had a glittery, silver eye- shadow on, blush, foundation…mascara, bright red lipstick (that tasted strangely like pomegranates and cherries) and liquid black eyeliner. I must admit, I looked really good. And then my hair…okay. It fell in wavy silkiness down my back, and had ribbons of silver, crimson, and gold threaded through it.

My dress was long, white and Grecian- styled. It cut down low enough to make me embarrassed and it had a low back, letting my wings out. Gold gladiator sandals were laced half- way up my calves, and I had delicate golden shackles on my wrist and upper arms.

A heavy necklace made of silver, gold and red wire, diamonds, rubies and pearls rested on my collarbone (but did not even begin to cover the vast expanse left bare by the freaking dress!), and a golden circlet completed the look. What was up with all the precious metals? I guess the only upside to this was that if I got caught in a fight I could rip this stuff off and fling it at me opponent's head. Because Max is vicious. Rwarr.

I whirled when I heard footsteps behind me, coming face to face with that gorgeous Italian boy, Lico. No, Frico. Was it Rico? No wait, Nico. Just buh- rilliant. When he was standing in front of me, he smirked.

Finally, I glared at him and snapped, "Enjoying the view?"

Nico snickered and sauntered closer. "Actually, yes." His chocolaty brown eyes scanned my body and they rested...on my chest. Oh, the perverted sicko. He was such a...male. Powered by hormones. Urgh. And then I realized that he was invading precious personal space. Oh dear. You know, he really did look like F-No. They looked nothing alike. Except for, I don't know, the skin, the cheekbones, the long eyelashes, the midnight black hair. But I was snapped out of my rather painful revelation when I felt his hand slide up my arm.

Then rest on my shoulder, and continue up and begin stroking my...neck. Alright, I though dazedly. That was fine by m-Wait, no! It shouldn't be-but all of my objections flew out the large windows when he leaned down, his lips brushing against mine lightly. Then, "I love what Aphrodite did to you," He murmured seductively. Oh, sweet mother of mercy.

HELP! The some-what rational part of my brain was yelling at me, Aphrodite? As in the Greek goddess of love and beauty? WTF? WTH? WTF? However, that part was remorselessly squashed by the rest of me, which was practically begging Nico to just kiss me. And possibly make out with me. Yes, I know, this is definitely not normally Maximum Ride behavior, but could you blame me? Well, probably, but what the hey. YOLO, people. And just then his lips met mine.