Disclaimer: The Hunger Games Trilogy is property of Suzanne Collins. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.
The Ten Unwritten Rules of Being a Hunger Games Victor
By Fanfic Allergy
Epilogue:
The sun was shining, the mockingjays were singing and I was struggling not to cry. Haymitch was dead. He'd died as so many others hadn't. Peacefully, quietly, in his sleep. It was a shock. I'd always expected him to go out in some kind of blaze of glory. But I think that even in death, he still liked getting one over on me.
The bastard.
I felt Peeta's hand on my shoulder and I turned to smile at him weakly. He'd been the one to find our mentor on his daily bread delivery. Peeta'd told me that for a second he'd thought he'd had a hijack moment. Then he realized that it wasn't a figment of his imagination. It was real and that had made it worse.
Looking around me, I was unsurprised to only see a few mourner other than myself and Peeta. Haymitch hadn't gone out of his way to make friends. In fact, he did the opposite because he feared what would happen if he showed that he cared about someone after his family and girlfriend were killed because of what he pulled in the Second Quarter Quell. Still, it was more people than I had expected. Including a few people from the Capitol.
Our old escort, Effie Trinket, was there. Her once outrageous Capitol wig replaced by the more respectable utilitarian haircut favored after the rebellion. I remembered that she and Haymitch had had an antagonistic relationship of sorts, but apparently that was only on the surface. From the way she was crying I wondered if there might not have been more to it. I'd always wondered why Effie would join the rebellion. Maybe she did it for love.
A small smile flitted across my lips when tried to think of the two together. They were quite possibly the most dissimilar couple I could imagine.
I knelt down and touched the simple stone in the Tribute Garden, the cemetery reserved for the fallen tributes of District Twelve. It seemed fitting to lay him to rest here. I knew Peeta and I would be the last tributes buried here. The thought made me happy.
As if sensing my thoughts, the baby within me stirred, turning somersaults and kicking me in the bladder. It made me sad to think that my child wouldn't know the man who'd saved both of its parents against some astronomical odds.
Pressing my fingers against his name, I whispered, "You think you told us all of the rules of being a Hunger Games victor, but you forgot the most important one. Rule Eleven: Don't play by anyone rules but your own." I paused at another kick from my child and forced down the tears that threatened to rise. "I'm going to live by that one if you don't mind, you old drunk."
I rose ponderously to my feet, Peeta coming forward to offer his support. I accepted it, gratefully. I brought my fingers to my lips and then raised them in the old salute from Twelve. The same one I'd said goodbye to Rue with all those years ago. Then I turned and together Peeta and I walked away from the grave and toward the future that Haymitch had granted us.
Fin.
AN:
Thus endeth the tale. I'd considered just calling it good after the final rule. But something in me told me that there was one more rule just waiting to be written. I also have to state that based on how Collins described Haymitch's withdrawal symptoms and that he had yellowing eyes that his liver was pretty much toast. Long term alcoholism isn't something that leads to long lives and puppies. So Haymitch died, likely in his fifties. Which, all things considered, was likely long enough for him. I am a bit of a Effie/Haymitch shipper so there was a little shout out to that pairing. I don't know why I like them together but I do. I am also an unabashed Peeta/Katniss fan. I like the pairing a lot. But this story was never about them. It was always about Haymitch and his relationship with his tributes. Especially Katniss.
I'm both happy and sad to see this story completed. Happy because I finished something and put it out without too much fear. Although I admit I got the wobbilies when I didn't get reviews and started going "ya'll hate me!" like I was back in Middle School.
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Inspiration Songs: Metallica - The Memory Remains, Linkin Park - What I've Done, Taylor Swift - Safe and Sound, Gary Jules - Mad World, and Kelly Clarkson - Stronger. Also the Soundtracks to Dark Knight Rises, Tron: Legacy, and Transformers.
Thank you to all of the people who favorited, followed, and most especially reviewed this story. I really, really appreciate it.
I will hopefully see you soon with something else. Until then, May the Odds be Ever in your Favor!