It was on a particularly bright and sunny Saturday morning when we found ourselves walking slowly behind the OldEvilOne in a large noisy Zoo.
Cages upon cages lined the small walk way as Lord Voldielocks and his bunch of ever so useless Death Eaters, followed Draco Malfoy, who was leading them through the crowd park.
"I wannna see the Hippos!" Lord Voldielocks whined as Draco stopped abruptly. Voldielocks and his Death Eaters walked straight into his back.
"OUCH!" Draco screamed as seven bodies slammed repeatedly into him. "Right, Over there! Hippos!"
Voldielocks's eyes lit up with delight as he ran like a little boy over to the small barrier of the hippo enclosure. Leaning over he saw a small woman standing underneath an arch covered in white roses. She stood tall in her purple wedding dress, which appeared to be covered in very small hippo pictures.
Beside her stood a large man wearing a penguin suit, his large blue head and long spiky brown hair was what caught Voldielocks attention. Leaning further over the barrier, he toppled head first into the pit as his Death Eaters watched on.
"Oh," the small woman gasped as she saw Voldielocks trying to stand up, she turned to a small girl wearing a tight long dress made purely from tinfoil, next to her and smiled. "Lisa, go and help him, be swift though, we are starting in a moment."
"Okay Elfster," Lisa said, as her dark hair bounced off her back as she hurried to assist Voldielocks. "Take my hand."
"What?" He asked as he realised he was sat in a small pond, he extended his hand and grabbed hers, she pulled him swiftly to his feet and smiled. Just then Wormtail came hurtling over the barrier and landed into the pit. Voldielocks looked down at him angrily. "What are you doing?"
"Rescuing you master!" Wormtail squeaked as Lucius and Snape fell into the pit as well.
"I do not need rescued!" Voldielocks screamed as he stamped his feet.
"Shush!" Barked a tall girl with short brown hair as she stormed over to the small group. Her hair was pulled back off her face as she glared at them all.
"Who do you think you're telling to shush?" Voldielocks demanded of her. "Look at you, stupid Muggle dressed in a black bin bag! What is this? A fancy dress party?"
"EXCUSE ME!" She roared, her face red with anger as Lisa hid behind Snape. "This is a grand wedding! I am Flisan, bridesmaid and F.Y.I, The Queen Elfster Sharon is marrying King Hippo Mick today and you... you and your bunch of idiots have gatecrashed!"
"There is no gate so how could we gate crash?" Snape pointed out.
"Please, everyone," Queen Elfster Sharon said in a calm soothing voice as she interrupted what was looking to be a good fight. "The wedding is going to begin now. Gentlemen, would you care to join us?"
"We'd love tooo!" Lucius said kissing her hand and leading her back to the small archway. The other followed.
The wedding, which was being conducted by a giant Hippo in priest robes, began. Standing beside Sharon were Lisa and Flisan, both standing proud. Beside Mick stood Wormtail, Voldielocks and Lucius.
Hanging from Mick's mouth appeared to be Severus Snape!
"If the groooom would refrain from eating the man..." Hippo priest said in a croaky voice.
"I nobber ebbing immmd..." Mick protested with his mouth still full before removing Snape's head. "I said, I wasn't eating him, I was merely have a small chew, I do that when I am nervous."
"Mick darling, five more minutes and it's over, we can go and party," Sharon said gently laying a hand on his arm. "Continue please."
Quick as a flash, the priest declared the happy and hungry couple husband and wife. Smiling and waving at the crowd which had gathered above them, Sharon threw her bouquet over her shoulder and squealed with delight as Lisa and Flisan fought tooth and nail over the flowers.
Ignoring the scuffle, Mick lifted up Sharon's dress and pulled off a purple furry garter, he threw it over his shoulder and clapped as Wormtail excitedly jumped around with it in his hand. Lisa and Flisan both stopped fighting over the bouquet as they realised who had caught the garter.
"Well hello ladies," Wormtail tried to say seductively but it came out in a squeak. "My name is Peter, now which one of you lovely ladies is going to be my wife?"
"ARGH!" Both girls screamed and pointed at each other before looking at each other angrily.
"You have him!" Lisa declared trying to walk away, but Flisan pulled her back.
"No, you!" Flisan snapped, shoving Lisa hard.
"You!"
"You!"
"I SAID YOU!" Lisa roared and pushed Flisan so hard she fell into Wormtail and began to cry, Lisa strolled away to talk with Lucius and Voldielocks who were following the newlyweds.
Meanwhile, as Voldielocks and three of his Death Eaters watched the wedding, Draco had wondered off, being followed by the remaining Death Eaters. They stood outside the Lion Cages and took pictures of each other as they pretended to put their heads on the lion's mouth.
Of course, it wouldn't be a normal day for our desperately dumb Death Eaters, if one of them didn't get into trouble.
"Um... HELP!" Crabbe Jr. shouted as the Lion, whose mouth his head was in, began to swallow him. "MALFOY!"
"Why on earth did you do that? You stupid great big brute of a cat!" Draco roared at the Lion who had just eaten Crabbe. The Lion, who appeared to be grinning at Malfoy, crunched down on the last of Crabbe's bones before burping in Draco's face, he opened his mouth once more, mocking Draco. "RUN!"
Unaware that he had just lost one of his stupid Death Eaters, Voldielocks was partying at the wedding reception. He had danced with Lisa and Sharon before sitting down, to gaze at Wormtail and a struggling Flisan kissing.
The party lasted right up until dawn, when Voldielocks and his three Death Eaters crawled out of the reception and back into the zoo. Singing merrily, they failed to notice the Death Eaters which had been left behind, huddled together cold and crying.
"What ever is wrong with my little Death Nibblers?" Voldielocks asked in a drunken singsong voice. Draco lifted his tear-stained face and spoke quietly.
"Lion, it ate Crabbe... And then they Polar Bears mocked us with their and then the Birds tried to peck our brains out and...whaaaaaaaaa!" Draco burst out into fresh hysterical tears.
"Bubblegum," Was all Voldielocks had to say as he fell over and passed out.
And that is where she shall leave our fearless Lord Voldielocks and his Death Nibblers. Until next time, sleep tight and don't let the Lion bite.