DISCLAMER: I own nothing other than the fanfiction itself

A/N: This chapter alludes back to Chapter Five of my last fiction, Pictures of the Past. Go there if you want background information.

Chapter Five: Nightmares

As the last bullet left the barrel of her gun, Riza knew it was better to drop her rifle and flee. She didn't know where the rest of her squadron had gone, but that wasn't something she had the luxury of concerning herself with at the moment. Right now, the only thing she was worried about was her personal safety. Her boots sunk aggravatingly into the sand, impeding her progress as she tried to propel herself forward. No matter how hard she pushed herself, she seemed to be stuck in place. She was running with everything she had, trying desperately to get away as an Ishbalan soldier approached her from the side, a knife glinting in his hand; with a shout, he rushed at her, thrusting the blade into her side with an upward motion –

Riza shot straight up on her pallet, breathing heavily. Her skin was covered in a thin layer of cold sweat, and she rubbed her damp forehead with her fingertips as she tried to calm herself down. This wasn't the first time she had had this nightmare, but it scared her every time it appeared behind her closed eyelids. She glanced over to the other side of the tent, relieved to see that her tent-mate was still asleep. Rebecca Catalina could sleep through anything. Perfectly aware that she wouldn't be falling back asleep soon, Riza threw off her blankets and pulled on her boots before slipping silently out of the tent.

The cool desert air nipped slightly at her damp skin, but she found the sensation to be almost reassuring; after dreams like that, it was a relief to feel the sensations that forced you to know you were alive. Her nightmare that evening had been one of the better ones – some of the others kept her from having a chance to fall back asleep at all. Those were the dreams that involved not herself, but rather the people she cared about; all too vividly could she see Rebecca or Maes being struck to the ground (or, worst of all, Roy.) She shook her head, forcing herself not to dwell upon worse nightmares as she headed through the rows of tents and away from the women's section of camp. They were situated away from the men, and, incidentally, the campfires and other amenities benefited to the majority population of the camp.

She headed over to the dwindling fire left by some night owl, surprised that she was lucky enough to have its light and warmth this late at night. She wished she had brought her white cloak along with her – the air was too cool for just a pair of pants and a tank top. Sitting down close to the fire, she drew her arms around herself, taking silent comfort in the warmth and the self-reassuring gesture.

It wasn't long before she heard movement behind her, and she turned her head to peer off into the darkness. She could just make out a shadowy figure slipping out of a nearby tent, but she couldn't identify the body. Deciding that it mattered little in the grand scheme of things (rules like lights out were seldom enforced), she turned back to the fire. Whoever it was seemed to want company, however, because she could hear the distinctive sound of feet traversing over sand as the person approached her.

"Mind if I join you?"

Riza turned her head to see Roy standing behind her, his hair disheveled and a black military-issue coat draped over his shoulders atop his sleep-clothes. She nodded, and he pulled up one of the makeshift chares that had been left around the fire. "Couldn't sleep, either?" He inquired, looking over at her.

Riza shook her head. "Not after the dream I had." Before he could ask, she lifted her eyes to his, stating "I don't want to talk about it."

Roy didn't want to press her on the matter; he was awake for the exact same reason, and he knew how nightmares could haunt the psyche. The pair sat in silence for a while, listening to the absence of sound within the sleeping camp. This late at night, one could almost forget they were at war. He looked over when he saw Riza shiver, and he asked "Why don't you get your coat?"

"Rebecca's asleep; I don't want to wake her up."

Rebecca wasn't Roy's favorite person by any means, but he was willing to put up with her for Riza's sake. Al the same, he could understand why Riza didn't want to wake up her friend – the woman was positively evil when the wake-up call was sounded in the morning. There were times when he could hear her from his own tent. "Here." Roy pulled the black coat from around his shoulders and handed it to Riza.

"I'm not taking your coat." Riza stated flatly, knowing that he was just as vulnerable to the cold as she was.

"Don't make me order you." Roy countered, smirking slightly as she tried to remain defiant while taking the coat from him. He made sure she put it on, knowing her well enough to assume she would try to give it back. Seeing that the fire was dwindling, he reached over into the pocket of his coat and withdrew his gloves so that he could relight the blaze. A single spark sent the flame springing upwards once more, warming the surrounding area.

Riza drew Roy's coat around herself, secretly taking pleasure in the fact that it smelled just like him. This was the first time since their unorthodox reunion that they were able to be (relatively) alone with one another. Rather than talking like they probably should have, they lapsed into their same old comfortable silence in which words were not needed to express thoughts. Only, here, they were incapable of showing any affection for one another.

"I don't want to have to wake up tomorrow just to kill more innocent people." Riza murmured, wanting to be quiet despite the fact that all their comrades were fast asleep. She placed her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her hands.

Roy reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder – even this was a risk in their present environment – but he knew he couldn't reassure her. Any attempt to make her feel better would be in vain; all he could do was stay with her. He knew personally how painful the remorse could be, especially when it hit this late at night and when no one was around to listen.

"Let's take a walk." He suggested, getting to his feet and offering Riza his hand. She looked at it blankly for a moment before wrapping her hand around his, allowing him to help her up. The pair slipped quietly past the rows of tents, making as little sound as possible so that they wouldn't be discovered. It wasn't until the camp was at least one-hundred yards behind them that either spoke again.

Riza turned to Roy, inquiring "Do you remember when my father first told you he would take you on as an apprentice? I thought you were going to fly because you were so happy."

"It felt like I could." Roy recounted, able to vividly recall that day.

"Who would have thought it would have led us here?" Riza mused remorsefully, her eyes drifting up to the starry night sky. Silence fell between them once more, but she broke it when she posed the question that had been plaguing her for months – even years: "Do you still love me?"

Roy turned to look at her, surprised by her question. It wasn't so much the wording as it was the fact that she felt she needed to ask it in the first place. "Of course I do." He responded without hesitation. She should know by now just how much she meant to him. For her to even question that fact was enough to sting him slightly.

"I waited for you." Riza informed him, drawing his coat a little tighter around herself. "I waited for you, and now that I found you again, we can't even do anything about it." She shook her head before letting out a short, almost cynical laugh. "Is that what 'equivalent exchange' is? We take the lives of countless innocent people, and life brings us together only to separate us more than it ever has?"

Roy didn't have an answer for her. She was incredibly intelligent, and she had a point, even if it did sound a little jaded. A battlefront wasn't exactly a prime place for a relationship to prosper, even if it hadn't been expressly forbidden by the military's fraternization laws. General Hakuro had made it very clear that he wouldn't hesitate to have Roy court marshaled if there was any reasonable suspicion of him having a relationship with Riza, and Roy knew he would make good on that threat. Whatever he did now, he would have to be extremely careful.

Deciding that the risks were relatively low at the moment, he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her against his chest. He had almost forgotten what she smelled like – only now her scent was mixed with that of sand and sweat, just like his own. He felt her arms wrap around him in return, and she buried her face in his neck. He had no idea how long they stood like that, but it could have been a second or an eternity before they finally released one another.

"You didn't have to do this." Roy stated as he looked down at her. What happened to her plans of selling the house and moving to Central, of living a normal and productive lie? She could be living a happy life, secure in what she had, rather than risking everything on a battlefield.

Riza lifted her eyes to his, her facial expression one of complete seriousness. "Yes, I did." She informed him. The fact of the matter was that she would follow him anywhere, no matter what the cost ended up being. Already, she had followed him straight into the depths of hell itself, and she wasn't going to turn back now. His reaffirmation of his feelings for her only made her more certain in her decision. No matter what, she would be by his side, even if it ended up killing her.

A/N: So this chapter completely threw me for a loop – instead of getting from point A to point B, I somehow was pulled along to points D, F, V, Z, and every other letter in between. Yet, somehow, I think it turned out better this way. Such is life.

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Up Next:

Chapter Six: Warped Perspectives