Chapter Seven.
In the Still of the Night.

"One thousand seven hundred and fifty three Galleon's on our heads?" asked a small blond hair woman with big vivid violet eyes and ears the size of the F.A cup trophy's handles. "Is that all we're worth?"

"Shut up Fairy," muttered the tall girl with long waist length pink hair, her bright yellow eyes shining in the moonlight. "Someone will hear you and just think, that's an awful lot of money to a person like oh I don't know say thedeadone!"

"Ah but Princess," grinned Fairy as her ears pricked up and stood on end. "How will we get our revenge?"

"Lets send our dear Voldielocks a computer," Smiled Princess wickedly. "That should drive him insane.

And so we did.

Lord Voldielocks had been dancing in front of the bathroom mirror once more when there was a knock on the front door. He stopped dancing and listened as one of his Death Nibblers answered the door quickly.

"My lord," Lucius sighed as he struggled upstairs with a heavy box. "This has just arrived, addressed to you with a small note."

"Give me that," snapped Voldielocks as he ripped the envelope open and read the note. He pointed at a corner of his bedroom for Lucius to drop the box. "Oh I won!"

"Won what?"

"It doesn't say, all is says is congratulations you have won a state of the art desktop computer, please set up at once to find further details of your award … Well what are you waiting for? Set it up!"

"But I know nothing about…."

"Dooo it," growled Voldielocks as he hopped from one foot to the other with excitement. Lucius finally set the computer up and turned it on for the Dark Lord.

"There," Lucius said as he quickly backed out of the room.

"What the …" gasped Voldie.

"We just want to tell you
How wonderfully bad you are
For no-one like you
Could crash a parked car.
Oh his hair is fake
And he loves us all
We give you this wonderful
Waterfall…." Sang two high pitched voices from the computer and as soon as the song had finished, Lord Voldielocks found himself soaking wet, courtesy of the Waterfall which was now in his bedroom.

After seven hours, Voldielocks and his forever useless Death Nibblers had finally vanished the waterfall and somehow connected the computer to the internet. Thinking he was very popular, theoldevilone began surfing the net.

It was just after two o'clock in the morning when the Death Nibblers were awoken by their master screaming and swearing loudly. One second later calmness washed over the old house, the only thing which could be heard was the rhythmic tapping of a keyboard.

"Have you read this morning's paper?" asked Snapeypoo as he entered the kitchen with a yawn the following morning.

"Nope," replied Lucius as he forced a nappy on Draco. "Am I featured?"

"No," said Snapeypoo as he stared at Lucius. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Draco wet the bed last night …"

"I split my drink!" Protested Draco.

"Excuses boy, will not be tolerated," snapped Lucius a he super glued the nappy to his sons behind. "If you act like a baby, you shall be treated like one."

"You are weird," Snapeypoo muttered as he helped himself to coffee. "It says in the paper that almost three hundred thousand muggles died last night."

"Excellent, how?" asked Lucius with a smile.

"No-one is sure, but their bodies were found slumped over computers."

"Do you think…."

"Nah, couldn't be … That's far too intelligent for hi," he replied pointing to the ceiling. "Then again …"

"MORNING!" boomed the little woman who had just fallen into the kitchen.

"Hello Mrs Grawp," the three Death Nibblers chorused.

"Just popped in to ask if you had any intention of putting up Christmas decorations this year? The whole street has and I do have a spare tree or ten if you needed one," smiled the toothless Mrs Grawp, the mad as a hatter next door neighbour.

"Master said we could this year," danced Snapeypoo excitedly. "I'm planning on having a line of trees all decorated outside the front door, and I plan on baking cookies for the carol singers, we're being nice this year, we wont be accidentally killing people."

"Unless they sing out of key!" giggled Draco.

"Oh how wonderful! Do shout if you need any help, won't you dear?" asked Mrs Grawp.

"Of course I will!"

"We three queens of Eldon Square," sang to familiar looking women. Snapeypoo and Draco stood at the front door cheering them on. "Selling knickers ten pence a pairrr, they're fantastic with no elastic ….. Buy your granny a pair!"

"Oh wonderful!" Applauded Draco.

"You brought a tear to my eye!" cried Snapeypoo as he handed over a box of cookies.

"Thank you!" beamed the two as they skipped down the drive way.

"Weren't they familiar," sighed Draco.

"Yes, you know, they almost remind me of those two little pests …"

"Uh oh," Draco groaned pointing to the lawn where the two girls had just dropped something.

That something turned out to be a match on the petrol soaked grass which now spelt out "Voldielocks is as scary as a kitten!" Snapeypoo looked over his shoulder as Voldie pounded down the stairs and out into the front garden.

"I'll kill you both!" He roared waving his fist in the air at the two who were laughing like hyenas. "Death Eaters, arm yourselves! We're going to war!" growled Voldie as he pushed back into the house to change out of his 'we love gnomes' t-shirt.

The dreadful incident which shook the world occurred on December 24th. Whilst preparing the turkey for Christmas dinner Fairy found herself shoved into the oven, roasted for forty five minutes before being pulled out choking and gasping for air. Her violet eyes fell in sync with the eyes of her uninvited guest as he forced her into a cauldron.

"Oh what a night, late December back in laaa laaaa I remember what a night, laaaa la lllaaaaaaa!" sang Lord Voldielocks as he began chopping the vegetables for his newly created dish, Fairy Fried Rice.

It was to be the last anyone ever heard from Fairy as she was served up the Death Nibblers. And so here I am, all alone, but I am prepared. Voldielocks won't get me, I'm not stupid enough to answer the door.

Ding Dong

"Siiiiillllllleeeeeennnnntttttttt nnnnnnnniiiiiiggggghhhhhhhtttttttt,"

Oh Carole singers! Won't be long!

Finally, The End.

A/N: We said we were ending this and we did, Lillianna happily roasted me then boiled me, how kind she is D R&R ppl!