Apologies in advance, because this chapter may very well break some of you.

I wanted to show that things weren't always so loving and supportive between Brit and San and also give a look into how Sara is and has dealt with San's transition.

I give my word tho, that I will eventually write San with some "balls". He really isn't as insecure and anxious (in the present day) as I'm making him seem. It's the situation of being faced with people who 'know the truth' that is bringing it out of him. You will see some strong, confident, self assured Santino eventually.

Once again, a big thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this fic, or sent me PM's. If you haven't noticed, I'm on a bit of a roll right now, so keep the reviews coming and who knows, I may have another chapter out in a few days time!

ALSO! If you want to see a rendition of Santino, check out my profile for a link to a photomanip I did of him. It's only my first attempt, so his look isn't set in stone. But for the moment, you can oogle the hunkiness that is him.

Chapter 06

Flashback - Sara

It's only been two days and already you miss your Uncle Puck and Aunt Lauren. Even your annoying cousins would have been a welcome distraction from the unpleasantness that is your current situation. Swinging your arms idly back and forth, you do your best to keep up with your parents, while still keeping a good distance between yourself and them. This is the first time your baby brother has been brought out of the apartment, and with your mom constantly fussing over his tubes and wires and the noisy machines attached to his stroller, you doubt she'd even notice if you'd disappeared from the path behind them completely.

Your dad is pushing the specially built stroller, though his attention seems focused on everyone in the park except your brother. As you walk slowly down the familiar trail, you keep catching yourself hoping that at any moment, he'll notice your absence from his side. You're eight, and this is Central Park; shouldn't your parents be keeping an eye on you as well?

Kicking a stone off the dirt and into the grass, you feel your heart skip a beat when your fathers voice suddenly cries out, slicing through the otherwise relative peace. Freezing in your spot about twenty feet away, you hold your breath and wait for him to turn around and spot you. From your distance, you can't make out his words, but the tone of his voice lets you know that he's definitely angry. The thought of getting in trouble doesn't scare you like it used to; you actually prefer being reprimanded over being ignored.

It's not that your parents don't give you any attention. After your brother was born and your aunt and uncle moved in, you'd spent quite a lot of time with your dad. Definitely more time than you'd spent with your mom, who had basically moved into the hospital to be with your brother since he was so sick. Even though you'd missed your mom, you weren't mad at her. You understood that even though she wasn't home very much, she still loved you. It was oddly comforting, and nowhere near as upsetting as when your daddy, who was still your mamma at the time, had gone away.

You were only four at the time, but you still remember waking up every morning and going into your parents room, climbing into their enormous bed with the hope that your mamma would magically be there waiting to surprise you. Even though your mamma did eventually come back, you couldn't help but sometimes wish she could still be the same person she had been before she'd left. It's not that you don't love your daddy, but your mamma never used to yell in the way he's doing right now. Shaking yourself fully from your memories, you frown as you realize that the individual your daddy is yelling at isn't you, but some stranger who must have been looking at him or walking too closely by.

Kicking another stone off the path, you grudgingly amble your way closer to the growing spectacle that is your fathers rage. You can make out his words now, and apparently this terrified looking jogger had been 'judging him and his family' and was about to 'get a foot up the ass' if he didn't move along and mind his own business. It's a little startling, hearing your dad curse, but more so than that, he's ignoring your mothers pleas to calm down.

Speeding up your arrival, you cast your own warning glance at the quickly departing stranger. He looks thoroughly intimidated, if not a little terrified, and you wonder exactly what it was that he'd done to upset your dad so much. You know your dad doesn't like to be stared at, but usually he just gets really anxious and shy and leaves. Maybe it was because your brother was there, and your dad couldn't just abandon your mom and him in order to leave the park. Then again, he had left your mother alone with you once before, and that had been for months. Cause even though he was still your mamma back then, it still counted as something your daddy did, right?

"I don't care if he was looking, San, you can't just start threatening people with violence every time we go out in public!" You notice now that your mother is also yelling, and you instinctively edge closer to your father. As loud and imposing as your dad is when he's mad, your mother is absolutely terrifying. Not that she's ever been mad at you, but you've seen her fighting with not just your dad, but with your uncle on many previous occasions. It's a scary thing to witness, and you wonder briefly if you should try and wheel your brother away from them in order to protect or shield him from the escalating scene.

"This is why we shouldn't even be out here, Brit! It's too soon for him! With all the equipment and wires and stuff, people are always going to be stopping to stare at him!" Your mom has tightened her grip on the stroller now, dashing any hopes you may have had at being able to remove William from the fight. "He's not a freak in a circus, B! It's not right that we're doing this to him!" You automatically clench at the 'f' word, knowing how both your parents feel about the use of it, particularly when it came to your brother. Glancing up at your mom, you can see that she's about three seconds from breaking down, and wish more than anything that there was something you could do or say to make them not mad at each other anymore.

As expected, your mom's face turns bright red as the tears she'd been so desperately trying to hold back begin to flow freely down her face. Instead of yelling back at your dad, though, she turns her attention on your brother, who strangely enough, hasn't made a single noise this entire time. "What are you doing?" Your dad reacts immediately as your mom begins to disconnect the wires sticking out of his tiny shirt. Next she pulls away the weird looking tube thing that normally sits beneath his nose and around his ears, letting it hang freely over the top of the stroller. "Brit, what the hell are you doing!"

You jump again, tho this time closer to your mother. You don't recognize the expression on your dads face, and as scared as you'd been before, you're not even sure there's a word for what you're currently feeling. "I'm taking my son to the park to see the ducks. What does it look like I'm doing?" Your mother's voice is oddly calm, which only seems to anger your dad further.

"It looks like you're trying to kill him!" He immediately shouts back, his voice almost as high pitched as your moms gets when she's yelling. Stepping away from both of them now, you scan the immediate vicinity around you, some small part of you hoping to spot someone that could step in and help calm the situation in the way your and aunt uncle used to do. Unfortunately, there's no such person around, and things are only growing more frantic as your dad literally starts to chase your mom, who now has your brother in her arms, down the grass and towards the water's edge. "Brittany! Stop! Oh God!"

You stay rooted to the spot, your hands clutching tightly to your brothers now vacant and useless stroller as you watch your mom stop just short of the water before turning around to face your dad. They're not too far away that you can't hear your mother's sobs or your dad's frantic breathing as he approaches her. He doesn't look angry anymore; only scared. Horrified even. His focus is on your brother, who, for his part, seems to be just fine nestled in your mothers arms. "Brittany, what the hell are-"

"You're ruining it, San!" Your mother interrupts, finding one last burst of energy inside herself. "I just wanted to take my son to see the ducks and you're ruining it for me!" She somehow manages to collapse to the grass without squishing William in the process, and begins to sob even louder than before. Your father seems struck by her words, and strangely enough, for the first time seems to notice your absence. Perhaps it's because for the past year, you had been one of his main supports, second only really to Puck. While your mom and your aunt had spent nearly all their time with your brother, you had been left to help your uncle take care of your father. And now that your uncle was gone, you were on your own.

Leaving the security of the stroller, you find yourself scrambling down the grass; throwing your arms around your father just as he too collapses to the ground. "I'm sorry Brit... I'm so sorry..." He's crying into your hair, his arms wrapped tightly around your torso as he hugs you to his chest. It's constricting and uncomfortable, but you don't complain; knowing he needs your comfort just as much as he does your mothers forgiveness. "I'm so sorry..."

Your mom is rocking your brother back and forth, mirroring the action your dad is now doing with you in his arms. She isn't crying anymore. At least, not out loud, and it takes a good minute or two before she lifts her head enough for you and your dad to be able to see her devastated, tear stained face. If you weren't already imprisoned in your dads lap, you'd have immediately tried crawling into your moms. "Please don't be sad Mommy." You finally speak up, outstretching your arm and splaying your fingers in an added effort to be able to reach her. She's still too far away, but before you can start protesting your immobility, she's reaching her own hand out; grasping onto yours tightly and securely. It's then that you realize you have tears streaming down your own face, and you simply blink through them as you crane your neck upwards towards your father. "Daddy?" You don't elaborate, but he immediately seems to understand and is soon reaching over your shoulder to rest his own hand atop your mothers.

At the connection, they instantly both look up, staring across into each others eyes. If the situation had been any different, you'd have started making grossed out noises at the obvious love being communicated and exchanged in their simple, yet intense glance. But even at your young age, you know that what's going on between your parents in that moment is more than just mushy, lovey dovey, mommy and daddy feelings.

Not wanting to interrupt, you focus instead on your brother; the tiny one year old actually looking more relaxed than he usually does in his special crib back at home. You smile at this, realizing that he must also feel the 'whatever it is' going on between your parents. Dropping your hand from beneath your mom's, you attempt to wriggle out of your dad's lap, surprised at first by how easily he lets you go.

Crawling across the tiny stretch of grass, you situate yourself next to your mom and gently reach your hand now towards your brother. As your fingertips make contact with his chest, he lets out a gurgle and you swear his eyes have turned to focus up at you. Smiling down at him, you rest your palm flat on his torso; your tiny hand spanning nearly his entire body.

He's gone back to staring off into space, but it doesn't matter because you know he knows who you are and what you're trying to say. Just like your parents are with each other, you find you don't need words when interacting with your brother. With your simple touch, you know he understands that you'll always be there for him and that you'll always love him. Even if, when he's older, the two of you have a fight, you'll never stop loving him. You're a family: you, your brother, your mommy and your daddy, and no matter what the future may bring, you always will be.