Hiya, sorry it's been so long again! Hope to update soon! Please review... Enjoy :)

Sophie x

'Hey, but you are safe now. You have a little boy to take care of and that's all that matters. Anyway, what are you going to call him?' Asked Johnny.

'Well, I was thinking Michael as he delivered him. Michael Jack Jonathan Effanga.' Said Mo who had begun to calm down.

'Hello, Michael Jack Jonathan Effanga, I'm your uncle Johnny.' Said Johnny proudly.

Jonny suddenly heard a loud choking noise from behind him. He swung around to find Jac, choking on something, she had obviously only just woken up. Johnny rushed over to her, grabbed her, sat her on his lap and squeezed her stomach, making her cough violently. He stroked her hair as he laid her back down in bed.

'Go.' Said Jac blankly.

'What?' Said Jonny, surprised at what she's said.

'Go?' She repeated before rolling over in the bed.

'Jac, look at me.' He said rushing round to the other side of the bed. 'I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here for you, you've got to believe me when I say that I care.'

'You've known me for a week, you don't even know me.' Said Jac, refusing to listen to his kindness.

'I do know you.' He said.

'How, you've slept with me twice and now you think that you know everything about me. you don't care about me, nobody does.' She croaked.

'No, but I've been talking to people, Michael told me a lot. I spoke to Elliott, Michael, Sacha, Oliver, Ric and Chrissie. Each of them told me a little bit about you and now I'm starting to understand why you're so broken. I know all about Joseph, about your mum, about Alan Clooney, what happened with baby Freya and how you had an abortion three years ago and how you grew up in care, I know that it's tough in there, I've been through it myself. I want to know you, so don't say that I don't care, cause I do.' Said Jonny stroking Jac's face gently.

'You were in care?' She asked.

'Since I was seven; my mum killed herself after my dad died from cancer. Obviously I wasn't enough for her to live for.' He said emotionally. 'I got bullied in care because I was an orphan, they said that I was the reason that my mum had topped herself and that nobody wanted me. When I was fourteen, I was attacked by my social worker. He pushed me down the stairs and kicked me in the ribs and broke four of them. I was so scared of social workers so I ran away shortly after I got out of hospital and I lived on the streets for a month before I was caught. But after that, I got on with my work and passed my GCSEs and A levels with flying colours and got into med school. I'm trained as I doctor, but I realised that I wanted to be with people so I retrained as a nurse.'

'When I was three, I umm, I err, I… I… I…' Stuttered Jac.

'You can tell me.' Said Jonny reassuringly.

'When I was three, I… I murdered my dad.' Said Jac looking away.

'What?' Blurted out Jonny, his eyes filled with fear and shock.

'I was playing with my doctors kit, in the living room, my Mum was at work as usual and Dad had gone out to 'Sort out some business' so I was all on my own. At the age of three. He had left his bag, and whilst he was out, I opened it. Inside there was this knife, wrapped up in a cloth. I just sat on the floor staring at it laid in my hands. I don't remember much after that but, my dad came home ten minutes later and went mad. I was so scared, he grabbed hold of me and tried to grab it off me but I slashed his face with the knife. He tried again but I ended up stabbing him in the chest. He fell, on the floor. I put a bandage on the wound on his chest, expecting it to make him all better. But it didn't. He just lay there. Dead. I sat there afterwards, stroking the bleeding cut on his face. That's how my mum found me.' Said Jac in floods of tears.

'Oh Jac, I'm so sorry.' Said Jonny. 'Look, I'm going to have you put into a side room, okay.' He said, before rushing off to find Ric.

Jonny returned, Ric following behind.

'Is it alright if we go through things now?' Asked Ric as he read through Jac's notes.

'Yeah, I suppose.' Said Jac absently.

'Ok then, we were able to remove both bullets from your abdomen. I'm afraid that when we removed the second bullet, there was a massive bleed. There was a risk that with all the blood loss you might not have made it. We had no choice…'

'Go on.' Said Jac who was dreading the next part of the sentence.

'We had to remove both your ovaries. I'm really very sorry.' Said Ric sympathetically.

Jac flung her head back and began to cry.

'You should have just let me die.' Said Jac helplessly.

'Jac, look at me. You have so much more to live for.' Said Jonny. 'Mr Griffin, is it alright if Jac's moved into the side room.'

'I don't see why not.' Said Ric. Ric and Jonny wheeled Jac into the side room and Ric left them to it.

'Jac, I'm so sorry.' Said Jonny.

'Don't be, I'm just not meant to be a mother. I can cope with that.' Said Jac as Jonny sat down on the chair beside her. 'Thank you.'

Jonny was awoken hours later, by Jac screaming. 'Help, help, run, Mo run. Michael, help.'

'Shhh, Jac, you're safe now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.' Said Jonny soothingly, stroking Jac's hair.

Jac looked up into his eyes and sobbed. Jonny climbed into her bed and cradled her in his arms. He desperately wanted to protect her. Jac rested her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. She cuddled up to him and smiled.

'Jac, once you're discharged. Come stay with me, I can take care of you.' Said Jonny.

'I don't need you to take care of me.' Said Jac independently.

'Yes you do. You can't be at home, on your own. You know that I can't just leave you on your own.'

'Okay.' Said Jac simply before she fell asleep.

Later on that evening, Connie entered the ward in search of Ric. She soon found him, hiding behind his desk.

'Connie, it's great to see you.' Said Ric.

'Likewise.' Said Connie.

'You look lovely, been somewhere special.' Asked Ric, attempting to start a conversation.

'I was in the middle of having dinner with the Prime minister when I got a call from a nurse who I would like to catch up with.' Said Connie grandly.

'The Prime Minister, as in David Cameron.' Said Ric.

'Yes, Mr Cameron and I were at a dinner party. As you probably know, not only am I the best heart surgeon in the country, but I am also the medical manager of the National Health Service. Meaning that all changes in the National Health Service are down to me, that and I'm the third richest women in Britain. As you can probably imagine, having connections with someone as important as the Prime Minister carries wait in many different places.' Explained Connie proudly.

'I always knew that you'd be a bloody politician.' Mumbled Ric.

'Anyway, where's Jac.' Said Connie ignoring Ric.

'Side room.' Said Ric looking back down at his paperwork.

Connie walked away towards the side room and opened the door carefully. She found a sight in which she was not expecting. Jac was cuddled up in Jonny's arms. Connie was clueless to who this new man was, but never the less, she was grateful that Jac was finally happy.

Connie looked up towards the sky and smiled before mouthing the words 'Thank you.'

After an hour of waiting, Connie was grateful to see that the couple were beginning to awaken. Jonny woke first, carefully climbing out of the bed and was surprised to find a tall women, due to the heels she was wearing, with long, curly brown hair and big brown eyes. Her hair hand been pinned into a neat bun, a strand of hair was lying across her face and she brushed it away carelessly. She was wearing a purple floor length dress, it had detailed beading on its single shoulder and showed of her wonderful figure. Connie's lips were bright red and her long, black eye lashed fluttered as she grinned at the man who had recently awoken. In her right hand was a black beaded clutch bag which matched her stilettos.

Before Connie was able to say anything, Jac start screaming again. She tossed and turned in her bed, then opened her eyes. Jonny was back by her side in a flash and grabbed her hand and stroked her hair.

But this time she took longer to awaken and began to scream 'Jonny, Jonny I'm dying. I'm dying.'

'Shh, Jac you're not dying. See I'm here. I'm here.' Said Jonny calmly.

'Jac?' Said Connie as she stepped into view. 'Jac what have you done to yourself.'

'Why are you here, who called you?' Jac asked trying not to sound rude.

'Jac, I'm your next of kin. Why have you been avoiding my calls? A year and a half I've been trying to contact you and nothing. I haven't spoken to you since the 2nd of January 2012, what's happened and where's Joseph.' Said Connie who obviously had no clue about what had gone.

Jonny who had no clue who this woman was, or who this mysterious Joseph was either so he hurriedly said 'Do you to want a coffee? I'm going to pulses.'

'Skinny latte, extra shot. No sugar.' Said Jac and Connie together.

'Right, I'll just go get those then.' Said Jonny laughing. He left the room quickly, avoiding the eyes of the women glaring at him.

'So, what happened and why did you shut me out?' Asked Connie.

'Joseph left, two weeks after you.' Said Jac remembering everything that happened…

'Come away with me.' Said Joseph out of the blue. 'There's a GP practise in Penrith, looking for someone to take over. We could run it, live in the hills, go for walks, take high tea, have log fires.'

'You know I don't do country.' Said Jac calmly, although she was screaming inside.

'I sense a softening in you.' Said Joseph grinning.

'Where on earth did this spring from?' Asked Jac, despite the fact that she knew the answer.

'It's the perfect solution. Wife, son, dog, what's not to like?' Said Joseph persuasively.

'Is that his way of proposing?' She thought to herself. 'The wife son and dog bit.' She replied, not making it easy for him.

'Be serious.' He said.

'You be serious.' She retaliated.

'I am, come away with me.'

'No.' She said loudly, not even thinking about what she was saying.

'Don't make this hard.' He said, disguising his hurt.

'I'm not; I just can't, for so many reasons. You stay here, we'll rule the empire as husband and wife. I'll wear nice shoes and afford to be you descent clothes.' She suggested hopefully.

'I can't stay here.' His grin still plastered to his face.

'Give me one good reason.' She said, but she could think of many.

'A job, it's too much with a child. This gives us the best of both worlds.' He said walking round to her side of the table.

'This gives us the worst of either.' She said sadly.

'Please.' He rested his hand one hers. 'I have to do this, for Harry.'

'I understand that.' Her eyes began to glisten with tears. 'I have even admire it; prioritising.'

'But you won't give up everything.' He said as he felt the tears coming too.

'I give up my life, my career, my whole identity. For a man who will always put me second. You said it, Harry comes first.' She said, now crying. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He said, knowing that this would be the last time he'd ever say it.

They lent in a kissed each other for one final time. It was tender and soft, and full of love. They put everything into that kiss and didn't want to pull away. But they had to. They always have to. They can't ever be happy. Not together at least. No matter how hard they try, something will tear them from one another. Destroying them both in the process.

'I don't want to lose you.' She said, struggling to get her words out. 'Stay, please.'

'I can't, I've told Hanssen to stick his job.' He told her, making her laugh, in spite of her tears.

She rose from where she was sitting and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She sobbed into his shoulder and he held her tightly, burying his head in her hair. When they parted, their lips locked again. This time it was more passionate. He pulled her stomach towards him and lifted her off the ground. He placed her onto the work top, but didn't let go.

She ran her fingers through his soft hair, her thoughts only of him. She knew he was about to leave her, but she wasn't quite ready to let go. Last time, she was still able to see him. But now he was gone, forever.

When they finally drew apart, he stared into her eyes and smiled. She just cried more. He gave her one last hug before saying 'I'm so sorry. Please don't ever forget how much I love you.' Then, with a tender kiss planted on her head, he turned on his heal and left. Leaving her in tears. 'Please don't go.' She sobbed… but he was gone…

'Oh Jac, I'm so sorry. You should have told me, do you not trust me anymore?' Connie asked, slightly hurt.

'I do, it's just… I tried my best to cut myself off from the past. You, Joseph, even my friendship with Sacha is fading away. He's currently in Holby Care by the way, so if you want to see him he's there.' Seeing the confused look on Connie's face she added. 'He was stabbed, Michael is… Michael, where's Michael and Mo… what happened?' Said Jac as she begun to panic.

'Jac, breath with me, okay.' Said Connie pressing the panic button.

Despite Connie's best efforts, Jac continued to panic and became unable to breathe. She began to choke and vomiting blood. Falling back unconscious.

Walking across the ward was Jonny, he had to cups of coffee in his hands, and was whistling to himself. But he soon stopped when Ric and Serena came rushing past him in the direction of the side room. He dropped the coffees on the floor and followed them to find Connie trying her best to awaken Jac. He ran to her side and grabbed her hand and kissed her head.

'Come on Jac; wake up for me, please.' He begged.

'Jonny come out of the way.' Said Serena who was watching as her BP was dropping, lower and lower. Then all the machines in the room began to scream. 'She in VF. Get me a crash team.' Shouted Serena as she climbed onto the bed doing compressions.

'What's happening?' Screamed Jonny.

Ric and a nurse began wheeling Jac out of the room. 'Theatre 2, now, someone page Elliott, I don't care whether he can or can't operate on her. if he doesn't get here soon she's going to die.' Shouted Ric. 'Get Hanssen as well, he's going to have to see what his new rules are doing.'

'Forget Elliott, he won't be here in time. I'll do it.' Said Connie. Serena looked at her oddly. 'Connie Beauchamp, CT Consultant, I'm sure you know who I am.'

'Connie Beauchamp, you're Connie Beauchamp. It's a pleasure.' Said Serena.

'She's not that amazing, I mean she's a good surgeon and all that but she's no better than Jac or Elliott.' Said Ric, denting Connie's giant ego.

'Get out of the way.' Shouted Serena as a nurse jumped away, narrowly escaping being run over. Her pager suddenly began to go. 'Jonny get my pager.'

He grabbed it and read out. 'AAU, Michael deteriorating, come quick!'

'Ric, can you go please.' Said Serena. Ric rushed off, leaving Connie to push the trolley.

They got to theatre and left Jonny to wait outside. He began pacing the corridor, fearing the worst. Oliver came rushing down the corridor, he hand gone in search of Jac, but was told that she'd been rushed to theatre.

'Jonny?' Said Oliver as he saw the tears running down Jonny's face. 'What's happening, is she alright?'

'I don't know, Serena and Connie Beauchamp are operating on her now.' Said Jonny.

'Connie's here?' Said Oliver.

'She's Jac's next of kin.'

'I can believe that. Anyway, I have some terrible news. I've just been sent up from AAU. Michael died on the table. He had a Sirius bleed and Luc and Ric were unable to save him.'

'Oh my god, how am I going to tell Jac? It would break her.' Cried Jonny. 'Right, we can't tell Jac, she wouldn't cope, she'd be heart broken.'

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