The pieces of his sniper rifle lay neatly disassembled on the work bench, each piece in its customary place as he worked; methodically checking each component for damage as he cleaned every crevice, every chamber. It was a task that simultaneously required none of his concentration and a significant amount of busy work, therefore perfectly suited to the fact that he'd spent most of the last hour trying to pretend that the vacuum where the Kodiak should be wasn't tearing him apart.

She'd gone without him before—Alchera flashed through his mind before he could stop it. The Bahak system… Aratoht.

Spirits, how could she have left him behind?

Sure, this was different. This was routine. He'd read through the mission reports at least a dozen times now and it sounded like a day trip compared to everything else they'd been through lately. No big deal… except that he wasn't there to watch her back. How was he going to forgive himself if something happened? He could already feel the desperation that had sunk its claws into him on Omega cutting into the back of his mind; already taste the blissful haze of ryncol that had gotten him through those first few months.

No. She was coming back.

He finished with the piece in his hand, wiping the surface with a soft cloth before placing it on the right-hand side of his workspace and selecting another. It was almost hypnotic, watching his hands go through the familiar motions even as his brain shrieked in panic. He selected a slim bristled brush and dipped it in the jar of cleaning fluid, running the bristles across the jar's lip to remove any large droplets that had accumulated. The brush slid easily along the grooves, removing any residual oils. One more piece and then he would allow himself to check the time again.

He'd already set his omnitool to notify him the second Shepard was back on the ship, but that hadn't been enough—which was why he was camped out at the weapons modification bench. He was sitting right here, staring at the emptiness that filled the shuttle bay—that filled him—and that wasn't enough either.

With delicate twists of his hands, he maneuvered the part to expose every opening, every gap, every weakness to the brush's onslaught.

Brush down.

Visual inspection.

Cloth.

Another addition to the allotment of pieces on the right-hand side of the table.

Six hours, thirty-nine minutes.

Garrus stared at the table for a moment before selecting another component. Five more, and then he could check the time again.

You can come back any time now, Shepard. Any time.

Please.

oOoOo

His sniper rifle was almost completely reassembled when Garrus felt the familiar rumble through the soles of his boots. The exterior shuttle hatch doors were opening.

Seven hours, nineteen minutes.

"Attention: All personnel are required to move into the designated safe area at the front of the shuttle bay. Following decontamination procedures, the rear hanger doors will be opened in twelve minutes, three seconds."

Already well within the safe area, Garrus quickly snapped the last few pieces of his rifle into place and stood up. Should he be here, waiting, when Shepard stepped off the shuttle? His gut said 'no,' but the urge to see her and reassure himself that she was truly all right made him linger as he tidied his work area.

He shouldn't stay.

They needed to talk, properly, and this would just be awkward.

Garrus carefully stowed his newly-cleaned weapon in his equipment locker and walked to the elevator, nodding politely at the other crew members chatting in front of the doors. The second rumble he heard, as well as felt, and it was impossible to resist a glance at the rear hangar doors beginning to open at the far end of the shuttle bay. Before his indecision could get the better of him, he activated the elevator console with a determined swipe of his palm. The nose of the Kodiak was visible now and, soon, the large arms anchored in the ceiling would clamp on to the body of the shuttle in order to guide it into the vacant docking bay to his left.

Flexing his talons impatiently, he watched the arms slide forward to meet the incoming shuttle.

Where was the damn elevator?

This one had always been faster than the one on the SR-1… on every day but today, of course. Just his luck…

When the doors hissed open, he moved to bolt inside.

"All crew, move away from the elevator. I need direct access to Docking Area B."

"Dr. Chakwas?"

The doctor gave him a soft look that even he could tell bordered on pity. "That includes you, Garrus."

He didn't move—couldn't—until she placed a hand on his chest and gently propelled him a few steps backward.

No.

No, no, no.

It was a routine mission. Nothing special.

His voice cracked like a youngster just starting their military training. "Shepard?"

"Wounded. Not life-threatening." Dr. Chakwas patted his shoulder as she went by. "Breathe."

Just wounded. Not seriously hurt. He clung to that litany as the shuttle coasted into the docking area, the steady mechanical grumble of the mechanism guiding it suddenly falling silent. Garrus pressed himself against the back wall, his heart in his throat. The doctor was standing just inside the safe area, making a final check through the supplies she'd brought down with her. The rest of the crew had moved further away, not talking any longer; their attention fixed on the still-closed doors of the shuttle, just as his was. He should've been there, with her…

EDI's voice brought the artificial tableau instantly back to life. "Kodiak docked. All personnel may now move safely throughout the shuttle bay."

Dr. Chakwas strode purposefully towards the shuttle, and she vanished inside just as his omnitool helpfully informed him that Commander Shepard was now listed as being on board.

The minutes crawled by.

Not life-threatening.

Just wounded.

Shepard was okay.

Just wounded.

Then what was taking so damn long?

With a growl forming deep in his chest, he pushed off from the wall. No more waiting. He needed to see her, needed to see for himself that she was all right.

"—stable enough to be moved. Lieutenant, please carry the Commander to the med bay and do not allow her to walk, no matter what she threatens you with. Dr. T'Soni, I'd like you to come up as well so I can take a closer look at that eye."

Garrus barely had enough time to jump back as Dr. Chakwas re-emerged.

"Out of the way, Scars." Vega, carrying Shepard in his arms, marched out behind the doctor. His eyes were dark; his face streaked with blood and grime. "I said, move!" He pushed past Garrus roughly, cradling Shepard close to his chest. She was conscious at least, the rigidness of her posture broadcasting her embarrassment at the indignity of being carried. Her left leg—

Spirits, her leg…

The armor plating on her thigh was missing and the exposed flesh looked frighteningly like the pulp of a granatum fruit; a macerated crimson horror that he knew would be bleeding profusely if not for the protective layer of medi-gel that had obviously been slathered on. The lower greave segment of her armor was still partially attached, with one edge bent inward to slice deeply into the back of her calf; the other side dangled down at an odd angle, making him think of the tooth he'd knocked loose during an excursion on Menae.

And then they were past him, the elevator opening and closing to swallow them up, and he hadn't even looked at her—

Had her eyes been closed? Had she seen him? Had she looked at him, hoping for a response she didn't get?

"If it's any consolation, I think it's not as bad as it looks."

He turned to face Liara. The right side of her face was mottled with blotches of purple, verging on black; the eye on that side swollen almost completely shut. "What the hell happened out there?"

Liara grimaced. "A bad set of circumstances. The Cerberus forces were more numerous than anticipated and Shepard was… more reckless than I remember."

Garrus' voice was tight and a little hoarse. "What happened to her leg?"

"Frag grenade."

"How did—?"

"Like I said, she wasn't like herself." The words tumbled out as Liara shook her head. "She would rush forward, forcing herself into hand-to-hand even though we could have dispatched them easily enough from a distance." She paused to wipe her eyes wearily. "It wasn't James' fault. He couldn't have predicted she would—"

Garrus froze, anger blazing through him so quickly that it was hard to breathe. "Wait—it was Vega's grenade?"

Liara nodded. "Yes, but it was an accident. He called it out—I heard him—but Shepard didn't… wasn't listening. I don't know. I'm worried about her, Garrus."

He was already charging for the elevator.

"Garrus! Wait!" Liara ran after him, edging in before the doors had fully closed. "It was an accident! That's all. It could have happened any time—"

Garrus stepped into her space with a snarl. "I wouldn't have let it happen. You were supposed to be keeping her safe!"

Liara shoved him back with a pulse of blue. "Shepard's a soldier. She knows the risks, better than all of us." The elevator doors opened and Garrus advanced on the med bay as she trailed behind. "You can't protect her from everything!"

"Watch me."

Inside the med bay, Shepard lay on her side on one of the beds, facing away from the doors. Her lower torso was wrapped in a sterile blue sheet with only the mangled flesh of her leg exposed. Dr. Chakwas was bent over her, murmuring quietly as she extracted a large sliver of metal from her flesh. On the cart next to the bed, a small oval-shaped bowl already held a handful of fragments.

Vega was slouched in a chair next to the doors, his head in his hands. He scarcely had time to look up before Garrus had grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him against the wall. Some small part of him knew he wasn't behaving rationally but the rest of him didn't care in the slightest.

"Hey! What the hell, man?"

"This is your fault." His mandibles were pulled back enough to be menacing, revealing the sharp points of his teeth. "Your grenade." Garrus couldn't help giving him a shake. "What if you'd killed her? What then?"

Vega heaved Garrus away from him. "Don't you think I know that?" Garrus stumbled back, knocking over a tray of instruments that clattered to the floor as he struggled to keep his footing. "What the fuck, Scars? You want a go at me, or what?"

"Enough!"

Shepard was struggling to sit up, despite Dr. Chakwas' evident protests. Her eyes were hard as she stared both of them down. "Take your fucking adolescent posturing and get out." Garrus felt the icy stillness of her glare settle on him. "Expect to discuss this later. Both of you."

Garrus' arms dropped to his sides, his shoulders sagging, as a wave of shame suddenly engulfed him. "I'm sorry." Edging backward towards the doorway, he managed to bump into something else, sending another cascade of instruments crashing to the floor. "Sorry." Liara was standing, shocked, in the doorway though she stepped aside to let him pass.

Once the doors had slid shut behind him, Garrus stopped; not moving even when Vega brushed angrily past him without a word. He managed a few steps towards the Main Battery, hesitating as his gaze lingered over the sealed med bay doors.

He'd messed up, messed up everything.

The weight of the guilt in his stomach was impossible to ignore as he activated the comm link on his omnitool. "Tali, do you have a minute?"

"Of course. Are you coming down to Engineering or do you want me to come up?"

"I'll come down. Be right there." Even his words felt heavy; burdened with the weight of his guilt, his embarrassment, his rage, his… helplessness. Shepard was hurt and he'd failed her. In more ways than one.

Tali clearly heard the anguished maelstrom of emotion in his voice as her own modulated speech flared with concern. "Is everything all right? Is Shepard—?"

"She's back. Hurt. Not… life-threatening."

Tali's voice was soft, gentle. "Are you all right?"

There was a brief lull before he was able to answer.

"Not really. No."

A/N: A huge thank you to my beta, Josie Lange, for her wonderful and helpful rambles that made this chapter so much better. I'm a bit under the weather at the moment, so getting this chapter into something worth posting was a bit of a struggle.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, favorite, and/or alert as the support is so very appreciated. Thank you! :)