Santana loudly swallowed her nerves as she met her mother's similar brown eyes; Santana slowly pulled her jacket off, silently putting it on the hanger, as her mother watched her, silently waiting for an explanation.
"He was the glee teacher… He wants me to re-join. I said I'd think about it… but I doubt it" Santana slowly biting her bottom lip, as she met her mother eyes; who nodded, and lightly formed a smile.
"Come on, I know you miss it… God, the amount of times you and Brittany were practicing for Nationals before the summer." Santana closed her eyes in embarrassment as she remembered exactly what she and Brittany were doing; how her mother had no idea. Santana smiled at her mother before following her into the sitting room, sitting opposite her mother, who had picked up her folder from work, and was reading some papers, Santana slowly let her bag fall to the floor, not noticing her mother had grown curious to her quietness.
"You're quiet, what's wrong?"
"Nothing… I'm just tired… Sue's working me hard."
"Well, she loves to win." Santana slowly looked around the room, the awkwardness slowly creeping; she was finding it unbearable, and needed an escape; why was her mother home so early? It was barely 5; the sitting room walls felt like they were closing it on Santana; her breathing was becoming more rapid, like she was struggling to catch her breath; thoughts swallowing her mind, as her focus was completely overtook by Brittany. Santana jumped up, and grabbed her bag.
"I have homework to do."
"Okay, Mija… Remember, don't fall asleep. Is Brittany coming over?"
"NO!" Santana snapped out, she immediately regretted as her mother's face looked concerned, "She's busy… Her brother's doing some… game. Britt wanted to help. I should go."
Santana's feet quickly made their way up the stairs, to her bedroom, throwing her bag near her bed, she closed the door; and slowly slid down to the floor; pulling her knees tight to her chest, she looked around the room, and immediately regretted everything in the past few days; actually in the past few years; her decisions passing through her mind; kissing Brittany for the first time, relishing the taste of Brittany's familiar cherry smackers; admitting her true feelings to Brittany; her true feelings to girls in general. Santana let her head rest back against the wooden door, as she felt her stomach tighten, and feel the familiar guilty feeling every time she fell out with Brittany; and hadn't immediately apologised, and made up with some sweet lady kisses.
What am I doing? I'm risking Brittany, for what exactly? Nothing, the respect of my parents, their love; My God… How did things get so complicated? I need her. I detest the day, I met that lanky blonde. I knew she would break me. I was so perfectly happy, being a little fiery 6 years old; teasing Rachel Berry along with my partner in Crime, Quinn… Then Blondie had to turn up, and helped Berry up; tightening her fingers round Berry's wrist, she turned and looked at me, with those blue eyes, and told me it wasn't very nice to make fun of people. I was Santana Lopez; I've pretty much did what I wanted to do since I was born. But those eyes. I fucking crumbled and apologised…. I then invited Berry to join lunch with us. I mean it was worth it; Q picked on Rachel and I got to hold Brittany's hand for the very first time. I mean I fell half in love with her, on that day.
Santana leaned forward, clutching her legs, and she shook her thoughts of meeting Brittany out of her head, focusing on herself. She didn't need anyone, she needed to rely on just herself; everything will be fine once graduation is here.
Where was Brittany when she picked Cripple over her? Exactly, she wasn't there. I forgave her too easily for that… it killed me; but one sweet look from her, and I caved; practically offering myself on a plate for her. Brittany only wanted what she couldn't have; she'll probably be sleeping with that jacket potato by the end of the week. The hell if I care… At least I don't have to put up with all her silly comments… But it's Brittany. NO, Lopez… She wants you to crawl back to her… Apologise for being your 'true' self. You're a bitch; you're a lonely, smug bitch. It's why she fell in love with you; if she wants you to apologise for that than she clearly doesn't deserve your hotness. You're right…. She deserves better. She deserves… so much better. I'm doing the right thing; letting her go to find someone else… even if the thought of someone with Britt kills me. Stupid world… Why make me a lesbian and then make me too much of a coward to fucking admit it?
Santana looked around her room, squashing her racing mind to station all Brittany thoughts as she crawled on to her bed, peeling the covers back and letting them enveloped her in a giant hug; ignoring the vibration of her phone, obviously Brittany or Quinn asking why she wasn't at practice. Everyone is a hypocrite, Santana thought before she let the inevitable sleep take over. She didn't need anyone and that's exactly how she was going to be alone. Santana looked over at a picture of her and Brittany, her lips pinched together as she wouldn't let them curl into a smile as she saw how happy they look together, her eyes suddenly buckling from the emotional days.
After a few hours there was a light knock on her bedroom door, Santana slowly rubbed her eyes, and pulled herself from her bed, she tumbled to the door, and opened it.
"Papi!" Santana's tone was immediately softer; her father smiled and instantly let his arms go round her in a small tender hug; as they parted, Santana looked at him
"Pumpkin, Brittany's downstairs. Shall I send her up?"
Santana shook her head, and immediately walked downstairs, seeing those accustomed blue eyes, she jumped the last two stairs, and grabbed Brittany's wrist, pulling her outside, on to the front porch; she closed the door, avoiding the looks from her parents as they walked into the kitchen, to prepare dinner.
"Why did you come?" her expression and tone resumed it's harsh, snappy quality; while her eyes shimmered with love at the appearance of Brittany.
"I needed to see you."
"I don't want you to."
"You know that's not true. San, have you forgotten I know everything about you?" Santana looked up and saw Brittany's smug smirk, as they both knew it was the truth, "I miss you. I know you miss me too… Given the fact you can't function properly when you're alone."
"I don't miss you. I don't miss anyone; or anything."
"Stop being such a bitch." Brittany's tone immediately went from soft and innocent, to harsh; "It's not Quinn, or Rachel, or Mr Schue… You can't kid me… You're upset and scared and I'm here for you. I'll always be here for me. We don't have to do anything; just hug me and tell me I'm your best friend. I miss you, San. I miss my best friend."
Brittany looked at Santana, and smiled; Santana nodded, and after a few minutes of internal debate, Santana just flopped into Brittany's arms, as they instantly wrapped around a tan waist, as Santana gently wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck; and they tightened their hold on each other; immediately wanting to make up the time they spent not hugging.
"I missed you." Santana's voice was low, almost a whisper; Brittany smiled against the top of Santana's head
"I missed you, San." Brittany's soft caring, voice resumed; Santana snuggled further into Brittany's embrace, letting herself be overwhelmed with everything to do with Brittany; ignoring the fears of her parents seeing and implicating something was going on.
"You were really mean, San." Brittany whispered in to Santana's ear; slowly tugging some of the hair behind Santana's ear, "Can you stay at mine tonight? I want to talk…"
"I have to ask my parents, stay for dinner; and we'll go to yours."
Brittany nodded, and displayed a typical Brittany S Pierce smile at Santana; who playfully rolled her eyes, letting her fears subside slightly, and act like herself around Brittany.
"Come on, I'll ask my parents if you can stay. Wait in the front room." Brittany nodded, and slowly leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Santana's lips; Santana looked around to check no one saw
"I made sure we were alone, San." Brittany's voice was soft, but a little disappointed by Santana's obsessive fears about her parents catching them; Brittany may not be as smart as others but she wasn't stupid; she wasn't going to snog Santana in front of her parents, when they had no idea she was a lesbian; Santana nodded at Brittany, and leaned up, kissing her once more, before walking back inside the house. Santana walked into the kitchen, leaving Brittany to stand near the stairs; Brittany felt a vibration against her hip, taking her phone out to reveal a message from Quinn.
(Quinn) Hey B, Have you gone round to San's? I was going to call her later x
(Britt) Hey Q, I'm here… we're gonna talk but she seems back to normal. I love her so much, call her later k? Xx
(Quinn) Aww, B. She loves you, text me how it goes xx
Brittany slipped her phone back next to her hip, turning around, she was met with dark brown eyes, peering down at her, from light rimmed glasses; Brittany smiled warmly.
"Hey, Mr Lopez."
"Hey, Brittany… After 11 years I think you can call Francisco by now." His smile showing how much he did like her or so Brittany just assumed
"I just… Okay."
Francisco smiled, and pointed towards the dining room
"Santana just setting the table... It'll be a few minutes."
Brittany nodded, and walked off in the direction of the dining room, as Francisco went to help his wife; Santana looked up and smiled sweetly at Brittany.
"Hey B. We can leave once dinner's over."
"Cool." Brittany's expression showed she was hiding how she truly felt; Santana sensed her behaviour was different.
"You okay?"
"No… but once we talk… I will be."
Santana rolled her eyes; of course it would involve that. Santana slowly continued setting the table, when her father sat down at the head of the table, signalling for Santana and Brittany to sit down as well, next to each other on the right side of her father; her mother sitting to the left of her father, opposite Santana, she placed the places in front of all, and they quietly began eating.
"Santana how was school?"
Santana rolled her eyes
"Rubbish… I pushed a freshman over for trying to grope me which was probably my highlight of my day. How was work papa?"
"Better than yours. So Britt, have you convince Santana to re-join that glee club? She's been crying over quitting…"
"DAD!" Santana looked embarrassed about actually regretting quitting, even though she knew Brittany already knew how badly she loved being in glee.
"I was hoping she would re-join on her own… but I will convince her soon." Brittany sweet smile shining brightly; Santana couldn't help but smirk at her; and playfully nudged Brittany with her elbow; Brittany laughed, "I was kidding, San… Although you do miss glee…"
Santana nodded, and lightly sipped her glass of water, not liking the way the atmosphere was becoming awkward, especially with her mother looking at her like that.
"I just have to go the bathroom." Santana got up, and rushed upstairs, Brittany heard her bursting out crying half way up the stairs, and immediately stood up, noticing an expression on Santana's mother's face, and she ignored it for the moment and ran after Santana, wanting to comfort her.
Opening the bedroom door, Santana was sat on the floor, crying hard into her palms, Brittany slowly walked over and sat down, grabbing Santana's hand, she pulled her body into hers, until they were embracing tenderly.
"I love you." Santana's lips muttered against Brittany's ears
"I love you too, San." Santana pulled away and pulled Brittany's lips to hers; in a mad rush of passion; or Santana just needing reassurance that Brittany really did love her as much as she did; neither girls had even noticed that Santana's mother standing by the door frame, watching the whole interaction take place.