"San, you're taking too long…" Brittany was lying on Santana's clothes covered bed; her lips pressed in thought; Santana was in her closet.
"Give me a minute."
"You've had about 500 already, but another won't make any difference."
"Shut up, smart ass." Santana looked at Brittany who smirked; "I just wanna… wear something…"
"Wear that then… At least you're not naked."
"You wish."
"I do actually."
Santana rolled her eyes
"My mom won't even let me have a lock on my door now; like I'm gonna invite a bunch of my lesbian friends round; and have orgies or something… Totally buzz kill." Santana walked over, and flung herself on her bed, pulling herself into Brittany's embrace; she leaned in, and nudged her nose against Brittany's; earning herself a giggle from the blonde.
"You look fine in that."
"I might change in a minute." Santana's hand tugged on the black patterned dress; Brittany leaned in and pressed her lips against Santana's temple
"I think you should wear that."
Santana's turned to meet Brittany's face
"You think so?"
"I think you look pretty."
"Just pretty?" Santana's eyebrow kinked in an adorable way; Brittany smirked; and tilted her head to see Santana's face more clearly, her fingers slowly moving a loose strand of hair; her fingertips gazing her defined cheekbones.
"You know you're more than pretty, San…" Brittany's lips formed a big smile, and she focused on her girlfriend's facial features, memorising one part and then noticing another adorable quirk; Santana's finger tapped on Brittany's nose.
"Spacing out again B." Santana was now looking at her celling; Brittany nodded; "You're lucky your parents have no clue… we can totally get our mack on at yours; no weird awkwardness."
Brittany nodded, not really paying them much attention to what Santana was saying, only catching the end of her sentence.
"You know what else will be awkward?"
"What, Britt?"
"Your Grandmother finding out from someone else."
Santana nodded, and Brittany immediately recognised the withdrawn behaviour; just like when she told her she loved Artie; slowly slipping back into her shell of a life; Brittany went to lean over; when Santana cleared her throat.
"I'm scared, B…. I've never been this… worried. I mean I was frightened telling you; and my parents… but this is a different level. She's like… my hero."
"Exactly, San. Your hero, you own this to her." Brittany leaned her head on Santana's shoulder; so she was closer to Santana; who looked and nodded
"You're right. Ready to go?"
"Of course."
Santana and Brittany stood up; both of them grabbing a jacket; they then walked downstairs; and told Maria, they were going out for a few hours. They then got inside Santana's car, snapping their seatbelts on; their journey to Santana's Grandmother's house began.
Oh shit… Why am I so nervous? Britt's here… She'll be okay. Yeah, she will… but what if she isn't? Oh God… Britt's looking at me. Act strong.
Brittany placed her hand on Santana's knee; slightly squeezing it to try and show Santana she was here for her; meeting Santana's eyes; Santana instantly felt her doubts slip away as Brittany immediately made her feel more secure.
"Thanks." Santana's voice coming out as a whisper; Brittany smiled; and just lightly squeezed her knee again; Santana tried to just focus on the driving, but she was so nervous; even though Brittany was helping.
"Do you want me to wait outside?"
"I don't know."
"Well, do not you want me to come inside?"
"That's the same question, Britt."
Brittany laughed, and Santana shook her head, not finding anything about this situation humorous; her frown was so perfect plastered on her face; and Brittany noticed and laughed harder.
"You seriously are the… cutest little thing ever." Santana's frown turned into a smile; as Brittany's smile went even wider; her fingers lacing with Santana's, as she continued driving at a much slower pace; parking up; she pulled her car keys out.
"Can you wait… in the car?" Santana's eyes remained locked on her Grandmother's house; she turned when she felt Brittany's hand on her shoulder; meeting concerned blue eyes. Santana took a deep breath knowing Brittany was trying to think of something to say; to remind her that she was going to be there for her.
"I love you, Santana." Brittany's eyes drawing into Santana's; who smiled; and nodded, agreeing with the statement; leaning in, she wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck, kissing the skin she could reach; as if trying to convey the same emotion to Brittany; "She's going to love you, Santana…. Take your time, okay?"
"Thank you. I owe you."
Santana smiled; and then stepped out of the car, slamming it shut; she leaned against it; watching the house; dreading the next few moments as they would change her life. Her abuela was her life; her opinion alone was up there on the list with Brittany; joint first. She was like her mother; she often was the person who raise Santana; as if her own child; her abuela had witnessed Santana as a young child and had observed her blossoming relationship with Brittany. Stumbling to the door, as her body and emotions were crippled with fear, and strangely; guilt; as she knocked her knuckles loudly against the wooden door, feeling Brittany's gaze on her back.
Here we go. It is all going to happen. Why isn't she answering? Oh God, I can hear her footsteps. What will I say? Fuck! I wished I asked Britt to come inside; I would have felt so calm with her.
The door creaked out; an older version of Santana's mother stood at the door; her eyes instantly sparkling as she saw Santana's face; wrapping her arms around her, actually shocking Santana as her mind was clouded with her daunting thoughts.
"Oh Santana!" Santana smiled as she took her arm, and walked into the house, closing the door afterwards; they sat down opposite each other in the front room; Santana was nervously fidgeting with her hands, slightly sweating from the nerves she was feeling; she noticed her abuela's gaze on her, making her feel self-conscious; a sharp shock from her usual carefree self.
"What's the matter, Santana?"
"Abuela, I… I have to tell you something." Her nerves reaching the peak as she nodded to her statement, obviously wanting for her to continue; "I… I care about you so much, Abuela; and you are so special to me; you raised me… and I am proud about who I am…. You taught me to be myself; and not to care about what other people think. I love you, and I want you to know this; as I have been doing the exact opposite. I've… I've been hiding who I am; from nearly everyone… and I just can't do it anymore… I'm just exhausted being someone else."
Santana slowly moved forward, remaining eye contact with her abuela; who was listening to every word; her face was expressionless; but it was scaring Santana anymore; she wanted to be honest to everyone; for once in her life, she was just too tired to fight off the truth; she just wanted to be Santana; and not have this dread feeling following her.
"Abuela; I feel… I like girls… in the way I should like boys. It's always been there; I tried to denying it but I just couldn't. I love Brittany; and I know I will never feel this love for a boy; or anyone for that matter. She is amazing; she's shown me so much… I am so grateful that I found her."
Santana watched as a flicker of something crossed her Abuela's eyes; as she changed her sitting position, moving slightly before moving back to Santana; giving her silent permission to continue.
"I have tried for so long to hide it; and I was doing fine; by lying to myself; lying to my parents, lying to Britt; lying to you… I was miserable… And I realised it's not worth it; I would have lost Brittany; and myself if I didn't admit the truth. It wasn't… It just wasn't right. This is the truth; this is me…"
Santana slowly rubbed her hands on her thighs; watching as her Grandmother crossed her arms; Santana's courage slowly decreasing as her nerves increased due to her Grandmother's silence.
"Say something please." Her voice reduced to a soft tone; Santana looked upwards, before looking back to her palms.
"What… What are you Santana?" Her voice hissed like she was talking about some else; a horrible person; not her own daughter; Santana crinkled her nose in shock at the way her abuela spoke at her with such disgust; "You're a lesbian! You have a secret, Santana. You don't tell everyone; it is a secret for a reason; You need to leave, Santana. I can't bear to look at you; you're no Granddaughter of mine; you are a disgrace; to this family. I don't want to see you again." Santana's tears were freely following down her cheeks; as her Grandmother's words hit her hard; she wiped her tears, before she was reduced to begging her.
"Abuela, please… I'm not a disgrace; I just… please."
"Get out; and stay away!" Her Grandmother's tone was more of a growl, before she stood up and walked out of the room; Santana began crying harder; running of the room; she slammed the door; and ran down the street; Brittany saw a swoosh of Black hair; and the tanned legs of Santana running off; getting out of the car; she ran after her; pounding against the pavements as Santana ignored her pleas to stop and talk. Brittany slowed up as Santana was out of her sight; she then walked back to the car; taking Santana's car keys out; she was going to drive home; and then saw Santana's Grandmother's house; and wanted to talk; Walking up she knocked and the door opened; seeing who it was; it was going to slam shut; but Brittany stopped it.
"What did you say to her?"
"I don't want to speak to you people."
"You people? We're normal, you know. This isn't a choice; and you'd be a better person; you know the person Santana loves if you admitted that; or at least accept it. Do you even know how hard this was for her? She came hear more scared that I have ever seen her; even considering I saw her pee her pants when she was like 8 from watching a movie; which no joke wasn't even scary. She's not a fearless gay-corn. I just… You will regret this; she'll grow up; and I know we'll stay together… and when we get married and have kids… you'll miss that; you'll miss the Granddaughter who has changed so much; who is worth so much more than you." Brittany shook her head, before walking off; she turned round; "You watched us… when you saw us playing wives… you called it cute; It's the same thing; we belong together; we knew all along… how can it be wrong?"
Brittany walked to Santana's car, slowly driving off, not to fast as she was a terrible driver; watching as Santana's Grandmother closed the door. Brittany drove to Santana's housing, parking outside; she walked up; and knocked.
"Hey, Mrs Lopez; Is Santana home?" Brittany avoided looking at Maria; as she had been crying and she didn't want Santana's mother to know.
"No, I'm afraid she isn't. Do you want to wait or…"
"I'll be in her room, Thank you." Brittany then walked rushed upstairs; stumbling into Santana's bedroom; she closed the door, and climbed into Santana's bed; clutching a soft toy of a duck which she gave to Santana once for her birthday; she was going to give her a real one but Maria told her that Santana was want to eat it; as a joke which Brittany took seriously; she made sure to check all her duck toys; whenever Santana came to sleepover.
Speaking of sleep; Brittany's senses were on Santana overload, and her eyes slowly drifted off into a sleep; clutching at the toy tightly; Brittany fell straight asleep; not wanting up when Maria came in to check on her; or when Santana climbed in the bed next to her; wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist; in an attempt to ease her damaged heart; she soon fell asleep, emotionally exhausted from crying too much.
After 9pm; Brittany felt her waist being squeezed, opening her eyes lightly; she was met by a perfect face; smiling at Santana's face as her brown eyes melted into hers.
"Hey." Santana's voice was raspier than normal due to so much crying; Brittany leaned up and slowly rubbed her thumb under Santana's eyes, wiping the red marks from the tears; Santana leaned in, and caught Brittany's lips; in a sweet kiss; Brittany then went to deepen the kiss; but Santana lied her head on Brittany's chest, letting herself try and fall back to sleep as Brittany watched Santana in a perplexed manner.
"Are you okay?"
"No." Brittany nodded; and yet had nothing to say to help her; feeling the pain Santana was going through; she felt lost; almost obstructive in Santana's life; stopping her from being who her Grandmother wanted her to be; Santana looked up at Brittany's face, and slowly wiped Brittany's cheeks and unwanted tears were being shed.
"Can I help?" Brittany sounded scared; and Santana immediately regretted leaving Brittany alone; she bit her bottom lip nervously; and then leaned her head back on her chest.
"No, Britt. Just… stay with me, please."
Authors note: I have realised I have been a bit of a prick ignoring your lovely comments about this story. I am grateful; and do appreciate all the comments.
The next chapter is a little more angst… Brittany will tell her parents… Keep reading