„I will probably upload second chapter tomorrow" – What I clearly meant to say is that I will probably upload it in near year, month, week or so… sorry reader. Well chapter two is here. I am not that satisfied with it but I double checked it before upload so there should be less grammar mistakes (and by that I mean that there will be 30 instead of 31),I´m terrible with finding mistakes. I really want to thank all the reviewers, I mean so much positivity! With that everyone is probably expecting that I don´t fuck up… which is same as asking baby penguin to fly… If you can go through this chapter and still love me I swear to god that I will triple check my chapters next time… yeahh…
Main reason for my tardiness is new anime season, I mean da fuck? More than 20 new anime… last season was only 12 if I remember correctly… da fuck?
READ THE DISCLAIMER: I don´t own anything, Gainax and Hideki Anno own it… for now…
WONDERLUST
Chapter 2: Consequences
"Angels weren´t that bad when I think of it…" Shinji thought.
He and Asuka were walking down the beach. Shinji tried his best to find an answer to Asukas questions but he couldn't bring himself to it, heck he could barely follow her constant babbling about the new world order.
Shinji didn´t want her to go away, but right now he was not sure… Yesterday he crushed his own humanity, later on completely vaporized it not to mention Instumentality, which was clearly brain refreshment. His mental state was of questionable state and Asuka was far from helping him.
"If I walk long enough she might go somewhere else, maybe this is all just a dream…"
"Third, you are not listening to me are you?" Asuka demanded. Being patched up as she was girl had a lot of strength to follow Shinji around.
Shinji was deep in his thoughts, questioning his sanity but sooner or later some things broke through to his brain.
"I am…" Shinji responded. He was not, but he felt bad for her effort. As much as he wanted to speak he was just too tired of everything, whole night without sleep does that to you.
"SO NOW YOU SPEAK! I swear Third, no one will ever know what is happening in your stupid head, how do you live with yourself. How can someone help the maiden in trouble only to attempt murder later?"
"It's complicated..." Shinji replied emotionlessly. He lived through whole day without food and water, more like blood and raw meat diet, as expected he didn´t quite feel well.
"You are all complicated, baka. I can´t believe that destiny put me back with you, I mean YOU. Of all other men in the world it had to be you a? You really have to stick your nose into everything don´t you Ikari? Though I can understand that no one could ever get enough of my perfection, am I right?"
"Where does she get that energy, seriously?" Shinji thought.
"I´m sorry. You can leave; I am not forcing you to follow me…" Shinji replied.
"BAKA! I am not following you; it happens that we are walking in the same direction, who would want to be in your presence anyway you are boring as hell." Asuka replied with a small blush that went unnoticed.
Shinji suddenly stopped and looked behind himself. It seems that Asukas babbling put him out of his course. He missed the way for his little establishment, more or less place where he left Reis meat. He slowly waited until Asuka walked in front, then she turned puzzled.
"We will test that…"
"I am sorry Asuka, I just realized that I am going the wrong way. I need to go back so, good luck on your way." He said as he turned and walked in opposite direction.
"W-W-What..? Are you serious?" She responded looking at his flaunting cape. Shinji didn´t respond.
"He is planning to leave me isn´t he? It's my fault. Asuka concentrate, try to be nice or he might actually run away from you. He saved your life didn´t he? You called for him and he came. But then why did he choke me, he doesn't talk to me, he hates me… "
Shinji just waved behind his back and walked away, he couldn´t explain it but he had a feeling that he won´t be alone for too long. One minute later he stopped as the wind brought smelly scent from behind. Shinji just turned and noticed a red figure hiding behind a rock. She continued to stare with his eyebrow up and crossed arms.
"Ahemm"
After a few seconds quiet "Fuck" could be heard as the redhead emerged blushing. She stood meter from Shinji and looked away hoping that he wouldn't notice her red face.
"Did that moron just play me…"
"Urusai…" She said quietly as she stood before him avoiding his eyes. When she looked last thing she expected was to see Shinji smiling. It made her blush even more.
Shinji felt like his mind responded to the wind, moment before he was in post chromatic state but now he felt a lot better. His mind was clearer and he felt calmer than usual perfect state to talk to Asuka, even though he could predict complications.
"I will assume that your path is this way now, right?" He asked almost teasingly, he still lacked expression for that.
"Maybe…" Asuka replied still uncomfortable. She didn´t like being the played one.
"Good." Shinji said as he turned and started to walk.
"Good? Good! He is not bothered by my presence after all. Maybe he even wants me around after all, what a pervert; I might actually survive this…" She thought as small smile escaped her, Shinji was already turned so he didn´t notice it. She rushed after him to catch with his steps.
After a short while Asuka felt bored by long silence they shared, Shinji however was delighted. She still felt uncomfortable by following him but there was no way in hell that she would admit anything, after all they it just happens that they are going in the same direction, coincidence… After a while it became even more boring so she decided to break the silence, after all there was a thing that bothered her so much that simply can´t wait.
"Shinji…" She whispered.
"W-What is it Asuka?"
"D-Do you hate me…?"
Shinji suddenly stopped and looked at her good eye, she did the same. He finally managed to make an expression; and it was puzzled one.
"Why would I hate you?" He asked. He was angry with her, disappointed, irritated but the thing was that Ikari Shinji did not hate Asuka Soryu Langley, it´s perhaps debatable if he ever hated anyone besides his father.
"You are not lying aren´t you Ikari?" Asuka asked somewhat concerned.
"No!" Shinji replied. It was unintentional but his response sounded colder that it was intended.
"Good, because from now on you are forbidden to hate me, you got it Third? Will you promise me that?" She said pointing a finger at him as she usually did when accusing him of being a pervert.
"Remember Shinji… you promised that you would do anything she wanted if she woke up, now that debt is cleared… just go with anything she says, you can do it..."
"O.K…"
"O.K.? Just O.K.? Your voice may be matured but you are still far from being a real man Ikari. Real men would not submerge to women that easily, you have no spine at all."
Shinji was starting to get irritated, that girl was impossible.
"Do you want me to hate you; we could just forget that promise and move on…?" He asked, he felt angry but he sounded cold.
There was a short silence…
"Did he just talk back… did that idiot dared to talk back to me…?"
"No… If you do I will break your legs." She whispered her reply.
"O.K., I´m sorry." He responded and resumed walking, Asuka followed.
"Well that´s Ikari Shinji for you… pathetic"
"Shinji… why don´t you hate me?" She asked. He got him in talking mood and she desperately needed some answers, and frankly there was no one else to turn to. She just wanted to tease him as she usually did to break the boredom.
"There is nothing to hate…." He replied.
"He is not in teasing mood today is he?"
"How so?" She replied curiously. She was well aware how she treated him day after day, it simply didn´t fit in her head.
"Why would I hate the only fellow human on this world?" He replied. He was not sure what that girl wanted of him, every question seemed random and pointless. He hated her low opinion of him even though he probably saved the world more than few times…
Asuka was not sure if she was happy or sad with that response, reason behind that was completely unclear to her. She wanted to ask him one question for quite a while but it seemed that she just can´t pull herself to ask it, she was afraid of the answer she might get so she decided to go with whatever came to her mind. And then it hit her…
"Say Shinji…" She said in devilish tone as she got closer to him.
"What is it Asuka?" He asked curiously, he was not very comfortable with her leaning closer, to be more precise Shinji was very sensitive on smell, and thing was Asuka smelled slightly bad. But there was no way in hell that Shinji would tell it to her; after all he cherished his life more these days.
Asuka moved closer and closer, moment later she was almost breathing his air. Shinji however felt more and more awkward with each centimeter she got closer.
"Shinji-kun, what is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say Adam and Eve?" She asked. She was now only few centimeters from his face.
"U-U-Umm the bible?" Shinji replied. His cheeks turned pink and Asuka enjoyed every second of it.
"Are they reminding you of someone?" She asked playfully. She felt that this was perfect time to continue her assault, he was finally showing sings of embarrassment and humility, two things she loved to get from him.
"Yes... if she mentions that thing I might as well jump into the sea."
"N-N-Noo." Shinji replied lying but blushing even more. Asuka got even more pumped at his reaction.
"I got you now Baka…"
"Come on baka, I know you are not that dumb, what did Adam and Eve do?"
"U-Umm-"
"Created the human race from thin air… nowadays called incest…" Shinji thought.
"- something about … family business and animals…"
"Shinji?" Asuka said angrily.
"They were husband and wife…"
"Shinji…"
"Actually where the hell did Angels go… I miss those guys."
"Can we please change the subject? I am really tired" Shinji said with an angry tone. Night was falling quite fast and he needed to eat or it would kill him. He just wasn´t sure how would he break to Asuka that dinner was his ex-sister.
"Oh fine, you are no fun. Just so you know we will talk about this later."
"Oh this is not over Third…" Asuka thought angrily, this was far from over.
"If you can find me in the morning, I hear that morning swims are excellent." Shinji thought. Planning his own death became new a habit of his in very short notice.
"Whatever." Shinji replied and sighted. He would not tolerate this for a long time; as much as he tried to coexist with her she continued to irritate him.
Few more minutes of walking passed in silence, Shinji appreciated that few moments. He was once again lost in his thoughts. He thought about the future with Asuka, as much as he wanted to be pessimistic about it… nothing. Running away crossed his mind but for the sake of his promises to himself he decided that he would not run away... at least until he knew she was sleeping. But knowing himself it would not happen.
"Why couldn´t it be only me… the boat… motorbike… ocean…America…"
"Shinji…" Asuka asked quietly. Shinji immediately sighted in irritation at this little repetitive scene, he could almost predict all the possible questions, or at least that was what he thought.
"What!" He replied not trying to hide his irritation at her constant pointless questions.
"Why are you wearing that blanket on your back?"
"I told you that it was a cape…" He responded with a small unnoticed blush.
"Why would you want a cape?" She asked curiously. She was not bothered by his blanket but she was still curious at his new outfit. She wouldn´t admit it but she kind of liked his new look, at least anything was better than his school uniform.
"Nothing special… I just thought it would fit…"
"What do you mean by fit?" She asked. She was once again too curious to notice that the boy hardy had any strength to deal with her constant questions.
"Nothing…" He replied bowing his head.
"Shinji…"
"Oh for the love of all mighty…"
"It's nothing leave me alone."
"If she was that god damn smarter than me couldn't she figure that I haven´t slept in almost two days… Oh wait, I told her… She just doesn´t care…" He thought to himself, once again utterly disappointed.
"Shinji…" She continued, pointing out her irritation.
He was done with arguing, his energy was down to 10% and he could barely manage to walk. "Why not to simply go with the flow, I don´t have enough energy to choose my words anyway." He thought. After all what could possibly be more irritating than unsatisfied Asuka?
Shinji bowed his head to hide a blush that crept on his face. Asuka immediately noticed that he was sighting, that was a clear sign that he was giving up. She was going to get one straight answer after all.
"Pirate…" He whispered, if Asua was not that close to him she might not hear.
"Say what now?" She asked feeling amused of his reply.
"Nothing…"
"Did I hear that wrong or did you just say pirate?" She demanded.
Shinji looked away, what was clearly a sign that he really did say pirate. Asuka just couldn´t believe that this was real.
"That baka thinks… Oh god this is too good to be true…"
Asuka couldn´t hold it anymore, she broke into tears from laughing. "Pirate? A PIRATE! My god you are the stupidest man alive. Oh wait! Real men would never dream to become a pirate; you are just a stupid child, a little confused stupid child that thinks he is so special. Life was always so perfect for you wasn´t it? Fucking brilliant mess you got yourself into Asuka. Of all people in existence I ended up with most complicated, deluded not to mention useless child ever. If that is my future I might as well leave…"
"Whatever she says, you can take it Shinji, I´ve been through worse…" He thought sadly, his was not feeling very emotional these days but this one hurt a lot…
She continued with laughter, Shinji thought that that she was done with her abuses and that now he could finally return to walking to his encampment. However Asuka did not plan to let this go so easily…
"Mein Gott, I still can´t believe how stupid you are… I just can´t understand who raised you like this, if it was not your father it must be mother, minding that you are nothing like your father you probably got your idiocy from mother…"
Shinji was the most tolerable man in the world, under recent circumstances that is definitely confirmed, but hearing and insult and his mother in a same sentence made something in his mind go loose…
"SHE INSULTED THE ONLY WOMAN THAT LOVED YOU: KILL HER, FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED, FEEST ON HER FLESH, MAKE HER TAKE IT ALL BACK, MAKE HER SCREAM, KILL HER ALREADY, AND EAT HER FUCKING FACE!"
"…"
It was hard but Shinji managed to fight off the madmen scream inside his head, barely… He felt godlike as his rage gave him overwhelming strength, more than anything in the world he wanted to lean forward and snap her neck, that idea crossed his mind too many times today...
But Shinji wasn´t like that, Ikari Shinji was not a man who could ever kill another person, especially not over an insult. As much as he was infuriated he was still Shinji. However he was not going to let this slide, there was only one option…
She laughed for a few seconds more until she realized that something was terribly wrong. She cleaned the tears from the right side of her face and looked up to see Shinjis face… in that moment Asuka was sure that she never felt this scared in her entire life, she felt his murderous gaze of his bloodied blue orbs ripping through her soul. There was no Angel in existence that could do anything to make her feel this way, air was colder than usual.
Shinji was standing before her with top half of his face completely covered in shadow that few falling light beams made. Only thing that could be seen were his azure blue eyes, very bloodied azure eyes. Shinji pointed a finger at her and left a small but coldest whisper Asuka heard in her entire life.
"Leave."
"S-Shinji-kun I was just kidding, you don´t me-" Asuka said weakly, she was almost shivering.
"Leave!"
"You are not well-"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Shinji roared. It was all it took to make Asuka stop breathing.
"How… DARE you mention my mother? Why are you doing this to me? Do you want to make me insane, don´t you? You think I enjoy your fucking company? How the fuck do you think I survived these days? HUH? Guess what you know nothing about me, not of me or my mother, NOTHING!"
"Shinji…" Asuka whispered.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE MINUTE!"
"World doesn't revolve around you! You don´t understand anything, I don´t need you. Do you know what I did just to survive…DO YOU? I ate my sisters' face just to survive, that's right see that giant face over there, I went there and ate it. My sisters' god damn face! You think everything was rainbows and sunshine for me? Well you know NOTHING! You know why I tried to kill you, because of pity that you would have to do the same things I did just to live another day, makes you thing that I should have finished the job, doesn´t it? And what did you do? All you ever do is bother me. That's right you are just a bother to me, only thing you do is slowing me down. So stop following me and LEAVE! As long as I am concerned you can either die or jump back to that sea and fuck Kaji all day long as you usually did, that is only thing you are good at anyway."
With that Shinji turned and walked away. As much as he hated to do this he was simply too afraid of what he might do to her if that voice came through …
"And If I ever see you again I swear to GOD that I will finish what I started…" Shinji said. However Shinji was not that delighted of the fact that he was leaving her here to die nor did he actually believe in god.
Asuka was not prepared for this. She didn´t know if she was more shocked by his outburst or the fact that it was none other than Ikari Shinji who was yelling at her. She could never imagine that his comeback would invoke this kind of terrible feelings, ultimate regret and very, very deep pain. Every word Shinji said repeated itself at Asukas brain over and over again until she completely broke into tears. She buried her face in her hands and started to weep, by that time Shinji was already gone.
Words just raged inside her head:
"Leave!"
"All you do is bother me!"
"Leave!"
"I ate my sisters face."
"Leave!"
"-because of pity"
"You know NOTHING."
"Leave!"
"Do you think I enjoy your fucking company?"
"Leave!"
"As long as I am concerned you can jump back to that sea and fuck Kaji all day long as you usually did, that is only thing you are good at anyway."
"LEAVE!"
"…"
"What have I done…?" She whispered to herself weakly, Shinji however didn´t hear it, he was too far already, Asuka could barely see his fluttering black cape…
Shinjis anger was replaced by one giant whole in his chest. Only thing he felt now was sadness and regret but he made decision and there was no running away from consequences now.
"There is no going back now. I could not hold it any more, she deserved it. She is only bother… maybe I went too far. I did go too far, hell I went overboard… but it is late now, she hates me now so I should just leave. She won´t miss me she got her precious Kaji she always turned to. Why did she even bothered to follow me, that´s right she just came back to give me one last leap of sanity. There is no going back…" He thought as he walked feeling like complete shit.
Asuka stayed where she knelt.
"It's all true, I am a complete bitch. What the fuck was I thinking, he never wanted to hurt me … I feel disgusting. All I did was… evil… and he went along with it. God, if I only knew, if he just talked to me… Am just stupid now? He is dead tired, things he has done… I am so stupid… I might as well do as he said. You bitch, what good I am if I can´t help one person that was ever nice to me despite knowing me. I will just jump back and …. No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOO . I don´t want to go back, I can´t go back to that place. But he wants me gone… he doesn´t want me around himself, why would he? Did I ever give him a reason to be nice to me…? I didn´t, but he was always so nice to me… "
Asuka felt that she was cracking, Shinji was absent for one minute but he left an enormous black hole in her chest that was filled with loneliness, regret and sadness…
"I can´t live… I don´t deserve to live… I had no right to come back…"
Tears never stopped pouring. Words from Shinji drained all of her will to live… She looked at her hands and thought if she could try to strangle herself…
"Impossible, what are you thinking idiot… even your hand is all bandaged and useless as you are… he bandaged it for me…"
She just stood there thinking, looking at her hand. Few moments later she extended her bandaged arm and clenched her fist. It hurt like hell…
"I want to stay with him, I don´t want him to think of me as a bother… I want to apologize so badly, I want redemption… I can be useful to him, I want to hold him so badly and tell him that I am sorry. He deserves better than this, of all people he deserves the best… My life is meaningless anyway; I could try even if it kills me… if he kills me…"
Shinji continued walking but he could as well collapse any moment. He regained some of his strength from excitement but now depression was starting to do its work with him. He just didn´t felt like doing anything, neither eating, nor breathing. It felt heavy but it didn´t bother him, he just continued to thinking about his previous deeds. Moment later Shinji heard running footsteps and it didn´t took a genius to figure who might that be.
"Maybe Asuka decided to end me… so that is how I go…At least I will die knowing that I did so defending the honor of woman that gave me will to live… I hope you will be proud of me…"
He closed his eyes and prepared for impact. But for his surprise in next moment he found two arms holding him around his chest. Asuka was holding him from his back, he could feel hear head buried inside his cape. He could even feel hear heartbeat through his back…
Few moments passed in silence, after nothing happened Shinji opened his eyes and noticed that the girl holding him behind his back was crying inside his cape.
"What are you-"
"P-P-Please listen to me…" Asuka said weeping.
"I feel like shit watching you cry…" He thought. He knew what he said and he felt so disgusted with himself. He never told anything like that to anyone, not even to his father who deserved it more than anyone. It was devastating to look at her looking like this but he wasn´t sure if he could forgive her…
Shinji remained silent so she got it as an encouragement to start. He just thought of most brilliant idea to settle this down, but it was very risky one, but it sounded ingenious inside his head.
"This might work, no this is the only way…" Shinji thought
"I-I-I don´t want to go away from you. I was complete bitch and I know I have no right to ask this but I really want a second chance… I know-"
"-You don´t deserve it…" He replied coldly. He tried to break free with minimal effort but she grabbed him even harder, there was no escape for Ikari Shinji.
"I know b-b-but..." She tried to mutter but she interrupted herself, few sobbing later she regained her composure and continued: "I don´t want this, I don´t want you to hate me, you promised not to hate me…"
"Asuka, do you remember the last words we shared before impact…?"
She did not at first but moment later she did. She remembered the same exact words she told him before and she just couldn't believe that he stayed in her presence even though he remembered it… She thought that she felt like shit before, now she just sank even deeper.
"P-P-Please don´t … I want to be helpful to you, to redeem myself. You can use me, you can use my body as you like…"
"STOP IT!" He said with breaking voice. Asuka didn´t expect to hear Shinji cry…
"Don´t ever say anything like that…. I don´t hate you and I am disappointed that you would think I would ever use you… I hate when you think that low of me… It´s not fair…I know you hate me from the day we met and that you hated to be with me… "
He suddenly stopped himself to let out few noises.
Upon hearing Shinji sob Asuka felt even more devastated, she realized how much did she really hurt him… She let go of him and rushed to his front. She looked at his teary eyes with her good one and pulled herself into him. Shinji hesitated at first and tried to push her away but at the end he just gave up as he embraced her. Both of their heads were on others shoulder and their ears were touching.
"I DON´T HATE YOU, YOU HEAR ME!" She shouted still holding on to him even tighter, as her eye left even more tears.
"I don´t hate you either…" He responded quietly feeling a little better with himself.
They remained embraced for quite a while, letting their tears calm down a little, Asuka still didn´t know if he forgave her or not, but at least she found some confidence in fact that he didn´t hate her. If he forgave her she would kill herself, in back of her head she wanted him to beat her to a pulp so she could at least feel slightly better with herself. More than anything she wanted to tell him everything about herself. She didn´t care how woundable it would leave her, she just wanted to make herself lower so he would feel better… but then it was Ikari Shinj who she thought of. If she knew anything at all about him it was the fact that he had no pleasure in being above others. None the less she had to say a thing or two… or else she wouldn´t be able to live with herself.
"Shinji…" She said in whisper, "Was I really with Kaji in your … lives… I don´t want you to think of me like that… D-D-Did it really happen in there?"
Shinji just stiffened but remained silent, it was all confirmation that Asuka needed. She felt horrible…
"I did not…. It was not me in your… please if anything just believe me now…" She pleaded weakly.
"It´s o.k. … I believe you…" Shinji replied calmly as he started to harden his grip on her.
Asuka felt even more down… he believed her. Even after all of this he believed her. She couldn´t stand it.
"Why are you so nice to me? WHY? Even though I was such a bitch, I don´t deserve your thrust… answer me!" She demanded angrily, but not angry with him, only with herself.
"If you say it´s not true then I-"
"BAKA! I refuse to be threaded like this. P-P-Please just break my lag or something, I won´t be able to look at myself ever again. Just do something to me, anything… you won´t ever forgive me if you don´t." She desperately pleaded. She realized that Shinji is better person than she would ever be, in her opinion only way for her redemption was to be punished. She knew that she was asking for a lot but if it came to it she decided that she would mention his mother again.
Shinji just turned his head and looked at the side of her face. He just smiled.
"You idiot, I already forgave you long ago…" Shinji whispered. However it was not what Asuka imagined he would say.
"NO, NO, NO, NO… YOU DID NOT. Don´t do this… threat me like anything, like shit, waste, trash but not like this… just not like this…" She said as her eye started to pour tears again.
"Very well then… In that case I demand that you behave nicely for one day…"
"ONE DAY…ONE DAY… he could literally ask for 10 years…or anything else and I would do it… if he told me to pull my other eye out I would do it… why Ikari…you…you…you…"
Asuka pulled off as much as she could but Shinji was now the one that wouldn´t let go. Asuka started to weep as she started to hit him over his chest, very weakly of course. Only thing that Shinji did in response was to smile even more.
"Youu I-i-idot… you, youuu … *snif* Iidot… supi-i-id baga… *snif* you, your-r mathe..*snif* … stubit…"
"Shhh… "Shinji hissed as he pulled her head in his chest, he was victorious. Asuka however had no clue whatsoever what Shinji was trying to pull off. After Asuka cried all her tears on Shinjis black shirt she spoke still leaned on him.
"You are not from this world are you?" She asked weakly.
"You know it…"
"I-I-I refuse to be threaded like this, you are just not from this world, I will go… Goodbye" She said as she tried to break free, Shinji however had different thing in mind.
"Let go of me… L-Let me leave, that is what you want…"
"You still don´t get it, don´t you?" He said with devilish smile. He could deny it as much as he wanted, but seeing Asuka clueless and disoriented was so god damn cute.
"Look, I won´t force you to punish me to make me feel better, I know you good enough that you wouldn´t be able to come up with anything better than one day of me being nice… I just can´t fe-"
She was interrupted by sudden chuckle from Shinji. She was completely clueless, as much as she wanted to think that he was happy because she was leaving, she didn´t. Something in the back of her head told her to think… that she was missing something… after all why was he still holding her.
"Asuka your punishment is already over…" He said with a smile. She was still not getting it… and then it hit her.
"Did he… nooo…"
Shinji just stared at her with a vicious smile, it worked.
"Did that baka just make me miserable by being nice to me, INTENTIONALLY? Did he plan this just so I could feel as down as he did by BEING NICE… NO…no... Fuck….he did didn´t he? He made all that just so I would appreciate him more… he probably just wanted an apology… well I gave him a lot more than that… Asuka you stupid… ARGH…Shinji…you…you… you…"
"You planned this from start didn´t you?" Asuka said somewhat demandingly and bit angry. Shinji knew he didn´t plan it from start, but he still felt that he deserved some extra credit.
"Maybe…" He replied with a big grin, "It could be that I know you pretty well."
Asukas eyebrow twitched. "YOU… you … you… THANK YOU!" She said as she grabbed him with her arms, squishing him harder than Misato ever did. Shinji could felt his chest Shrinking a bit but it was didn´t felt like ruining a moment.
Asuka was relieved, she wasn´t expecting to be punished by niceness, even worse realization was that Shinji had complete power over her and he simply decided to forgive her for everything. She still felt bad but at least half of the pain was now gone.
"You really came from some other planet right?"
"Maybe…"
She humphed at him and adverted her gaze a little, there was one question that she was too embarrassed to ask but she already did a lot more embarrassing things today.
"Shinji?" She whispered softly.
"What is it?"
"You won´t mind me tagging along then?" She asked little frightened. She knew that there was no way that Shinji would leave her alone in the desert but she was still a little afraid that he might say no, after all Shinji pulled off quite unexpected things today.
"Depends…" He replied.
"On what…" She asked puzzled.
"AHEMM"
"Oh... I almost forgot… you can do this Asuka!" She thought, she needed to encourage herself to do this, after all it was a first time that she was actually saying these few words to Shinji.
Asuka turned her head from him. "I´m sorry." She said quietly, if he wasn´t more than few centimeters away from her he wouldn't be able to hear it. But Shinji was not satisfied.
"AHEMM"
Asuka felt a bit irritated but it had to be done.
"I am truly sorry that I insulted you and your mother! I will try to behave… sometimes… and I promise that I will be less of a bitch! Happy? Is this proper apology you wanted?"
"No one said you were a bitch." He corrected.
"Urusai..." She replied with a small blush. He somehow started to get under her skin and she didn´t like it.
Shinji just tapped her on the head making her blush even more, however he didn´t saw it because her head was bowed from embarrassment. He could hunch it but he simply didn´t feel like pushing his luck. Asuka however was still afraid of his reply.
"It´ s o.k. Asuka, I forgive you, and I would be happy if you tagged along." He responded. He knew what he was sacrificing, but he felt that taking care of Asuka was a right thing to do. He knew she was not his responsibility but he once left his friends to die. When Rei blew herself with N2 mine or when he couldn't help Asuka and she ended up being eaten alive, there was no way in hell that Shinji would let something like that happen ever again.
"Really? I-I- I mean good... I wouldn't have it any other way. You are lucky Third! You just got yourself the most beautiful woman on the planet as your companion!" Asuka announced proudly. She couldn't help herself; she just smiled broadly at him. She was happy that he accepted her and that she finally redeemed herself, one way or other things were looking better for Asuka Langely Soryu.
Shinji noticed that he was still holding Asuka in tight embrace, when she also noticed it they both broke off in the same time and turned their back on each other, both blushing furiously. Few moments passed when Asuka decided to break the silence, not turning back to look at him.
"So where are we going?" She asked still feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Actually when I think of it… I have no idea…" Shinji thought. He realized that he trailed off his course when he thought of Asuka. He felt embarrassed but there was no way that he would tell Asuka that he had no idea where they were. He decided to look around and choose most decent looking path.
"That way!" He announced.
"Probably…"
"O.k., lead the way baka." She said in her usual tone. Shinji was happy that she returned to her usual self, anything was better than hurt Asuka in his mind.
He went first and Asuka followed one foot behind him.
"I feel hungry. How will…" Asuka said but soon halted upon realization. "I´m so, so, so sorry."
"It´s o.k.…" Shinji replied but he felt horrible none the less. He just bowed his head and started to think of disgusting methods of survival that Asuka is now also part of; he hated it. It was his choice. He knew that it was only way to survive but it didn´t mean that he should be happy about it.
He returned to real world when Asuka decided to make something unexpected, she took his hand. He gave her confused look as if thinking that it was accident but she only looked back at him with smile and squeezed his hand as if she was reassuring him.
"We will get through this." She reassured him. Asuka felt bad for him, she couldn't imagine his pain but she knew that she soon will. She wanted to be there and help him as much as she could, in her mind he deserved it and she knew that her debt was still long from returned.
"Thanks…" He replied softly. He managed to find some comfort in her words, and that gave him enough strength to lead onwards to his… food source.
They continued in silence still holding hands.
He felt like breaking the silence and speaking to her about just anything that came to his mind but he remembered advice that Kaji gave him back then:
"Shinji, you never interrupt woman when she is NOT speaking, understand? You must cherish that few rare moments given by god!"
Shinji thought about that few words a bit.
"Now I finally understand Kaji-sensei!" He thought as he felt that Asuka might break the silence any moment…
"Shinji…"
"As expected…"
"What is it Asuka?"
"I like that blanket on your back, it fits you, whole new level of manliness." Asuka said in her playful voice.
"It's a cape…" Shinji replied irritated.
"Are you going to wear that all the time, I mean-"
"-Don´t push it!"
"Ay captain!"
A/N: This was so damn hard to write. I originally planed this for chapter 4 or something but I figured there is no point in that. Minding that this was bound to happen, not to mention that it would be so boring to write about Asuka recovering from some stupid mind rape of sorts, am I right? I didn´t plan to go with fast drama but I feel satisfied enough… I mean I just can´t put myself to write few Asuka bullies Shinji while recovering chapters (I mean its illogical, they would die)… whenever Shinji gets tortured little baby Cotillon inside me cries (occasionally, well mostly never…)… I just like it more this way.
I hope you like that Asuka is in puberty and Shinji just started with it, I know that his thinking was a little Ooc… - ish… but you know puberty and stuff… Next chapter will be more about their changes of sorts; after all I like to appoint every single detail. You will get what I mean later… so for the next time chapter three should be up tomorrow…. HAHAHAHAH…
Have a nice day reader.
Cotillon.