Chapter 5: The Road Ahead.
"Siriiiiiiinnnnnnnn..."
"..."
"Sirin!"
"..."
"Sirin!"
"What?!"
Kiana stood menacingly, a hand on her hip while the other was wrapped around the broom she had been using to wipe the floor. She glared at her sister disapprovingly from the other end of the couch Sirin was lounging at. "Go help!"
"No" Sirin responded flatly, unfazed, before she twisted around to lay on her stomach. She dipped a hand lazily into the cookies pack she found during her inspection of the shared dorm room and brought a chocolate flavored cookie into her mouth, humming audibly amidst bites when Kiana let out a frustrated whine.
"No time to be lazy! We've lots of cleaning to do!"
"Exactly"
The dorm was a mess. There's no way to sugarcoat the disgusting truth, both metaphorically and literally disgusting, that could be used to justify why the place looked like a dumpster. Beer and alcoholic drink bottles littered the floor and all available stands and tables and chairs it's impossible to walk about without tripping over a goddamn Jack Daniels, something Sirin learned through the hard way when she was conducting her raid.
The Herrscher felt like she had just been lied by Theresa. The woman promised her and her sister a home, not a shipwreck of a house. Actually, that wasn't quite true. Sirin had seen a far cleaner and tidied shipwreck than this place, how was that even possible she didn't know nor care. Throughout her journey with Kiana they had overcome plenty of obstacles and hardships together but this time she felt like abandoning her sister to the quest of cleaning because no freaking way she's going to do that, even if the risk was getting struck by lightning right here right now.
Sirin wondered how in the hell that annoying red haired woman was still alive, with the amount of alcohol she had been consuming and all. The wastes suggested it could've killed her liver seven times over and won her a permanent residency in a hospital but her short laugh from the kitchen was a big nope from the universe.
Stupid human. Sirin thought absently, shoving another cookie into her mouth and pointedly ignoring Kiana who was struggling to pull her off the couch by her feet. "Sod off, Kiana" She mumbled, kicking her legs back from her sister's grasp.
"Do your part and help, then!"
Sirin rolled her head to give Kiana a smug smile, teeth and half lidded eyes on display. "I did say you're going to regret forcing me to do something I didn't want, didn't I?"
Kiana promptly grabbed her hair and made a strangled noise, defeated. Knowing Sirin wouldn't he helping, Kiana decided to leave after sending a glare to the amused Herrscher, mumbling something along the line of "Unfair" and "Shouldn't provoke" under her breath.
Sirin simply grinned and refocused her attention to her snack, the sound of her munching drowned in the various humming and thudding from the working. A shadow passed above her head but she paid it no heed, the small footsteps were unmistakably belonged to the Russian kid. Bronya, Sirin remembered her name, an odd girl who kept staring at Sirin the first time they met. Though her face was stoic, Sirin could see something dancing under those silver eyes, something she recognized as dissent.
She knew exactly where it came from. It appeared once Theresa introduced her to the rest of Kiana's friends, the blunt declaration she's the Second Herrscher. Sirin knew she did something that affected Bronya in her past live, which was the only reason she kept her mouth shut despite Bronya's passive hostility.
Sirin deserved it. She understood. Thus, she wouldn't hold it against Bronya. The girl had all the right to hate Sirin for her misdeeds in the past, even if Sirin herself wasn't sure what it was nor she's certain she wanted to find out.
Sometimes, hearing those she wronged talking about their losses was too unbearable, even when the victims were oblivious of the culprit. She and Kiana had gone by a lot of cities and countries, meeting various people. The bad, the good and the weary oftentimes were impossible to discern yet all of them were oblivious, unaware of the sins the girl before them committed. They talked, about those they lost, those taken from them during the disaster that was the Second Eruption.
And Sirin was forced to listen, to hear even if she didn't want to. The countless tales spoken were a burden she had to carry for the rest of her life, and the images of cities and homes in ruin were the living nightmares she would never chase out. She kept an impassive face, everytime, pretending to not care, but Kiana knew. She knew enough she didn't question her when Sirin cried in those cold nights, she knew enough to not pry as she held her close until the break of day.
Sirin pursed her lips together before fishing another piece of cookie and put it into her mouth, slowly and deliberately biting it between her teeth in an attempt to wash the sudden bitterness she felt. It barely worked, but anything was better than nothing at this point.
It went on for a few more minutes, with Kiana and Bronya walking about the house carrying plenty of hygiene tools and products, while Himeko and Mei occasionally going in and out to dispose bags after bags of wastes. After another short moments, Sirin decided she felt bored beyond her mind.
"Is there nothing here to entertain me?" She grumbled out loud, still not moving an inch from her prone position. "I'm bored"
"Maybe if you did help you would actually have something to do beside lounging uselessly?" Kiana chirped with a fake enthusiasm, wiping the sweat from her brows.
"Not a chance"
The young Kaslana scoffed wordlessly before continuing her work, giving Sirin a sideway glance that mostly went unnoticed. The Herrscher began to kick her legs back and forth in the air, wondering whether she should summon something to help her fight her arch nemesis boredom when she felt hand grabbing one of her feet. She paused, putting another cookie into her mouth and said "You cannot persuade me-GAH!"
Only to promptly jolted when electricity raced up from her leg to the entirety of her body.
Sirin's body jerked and spasmed, vaguely she felt the couch being lifted to the side and sent the Herrscher flopping onto the floor like a fish out of water. She gasped when her chest hit the hard surface, knocking the air out of her.
Behind her, a sadistic laugh resonated.
"Fuck!" She cursed out loud, startling the busy occupants. Himeko chided her from the kitchen.
"No swearing in the house!"
"Shut up!" Sirin twisted her body and glared at the Herrscher of Thunder, into those glowing pinkish purple eyes. "Thunder!" She hissed through her teeth, watching as Raiden Mei's face twisted into a sinister grin.
"My, my. Brooding in a bright daylight? What are you, a grandma? Grandma Void?"
Sirin's right eye twitched, not from her shocked, erratic nerves but rather annoyance. "Thunder. I swear to God I will-"
"No fighting in the house!"
"SHUT UP!" Sirin yelled and Kiana stepped up by driving the stick of her broom to Sirin's back, making the Herrscher yowled in a mixture of surprise and pain.
"Don't yell back to the elders! It's rude!"
"Did you just call me old?"
Sirin ignored Himeko and glared at Kiana instead. "She started it first" She protested, throwing an arm to Mei's general direction. "It's an unprovoked aggression and I have all the right to defend myself!"
"And how are you going to do that? We haven't even settled down and you're already about to level the whole building?! Both of you?!"
Sirin's shoulders slumped while Thunder averted her gaze in shame from Kiana, despite being a significantly weaker human than the two Herrschers she seemingly held more power when it came to the two. More than Honkai itself.
Her sudden declaration silenced the house, with Himeko watching from the kitchen with her arms crossed and amused tugs on her lips, and Bronya who shrugged after a long pause.
"The Bronya thinks we will not survive residency if this is to continue" She said flatly, grabbing another plastic bag full of God knows what and walking past Kiana before she disappeared into the hallway. Kiana clicked her tongue begrudgingly, one foot tapping the wooden surface underneath impatiently as she regarded Mei and Sirin.
"Err- Thunder" Thunder slowly met Kiana's gaze, sensing her discomfort Kiana softened. "Please refrain from provoking my sister again"
"It was a joke, a prank" The Herrscher of Thunder retorted, her attempt of glaring back to Kiana was met with more disapproval. For some reason she couldn't tell, the disarming look Kiana gave her made something unpleasant twisted in her host's stomach so she swallowed vainly to get rid of the strange sensation.
"I understand, but Sirin is a prideful girl. She doesn't take it kindly when someone ruined her visages"
"You make it sound like I have a stick up my a-"
"As for now" Kiana quickly added, sending a quick glare to Sirin who huffed in response. "Leave her to me. I'll make sure she does her biding"
"... my apologies" Thunder mumbled with a deep inhale. "I shall leave now"
Leave, for the Herrscher meant returning the body to its rightful owner, for her to retreat back to the deepest part of Raiden Mei's consciousness. Leave meant she wouldn't be coming out until when she wanted so.
Kiana, fully aware she couldn't leave things as they were, quickly gave the Herrscher of Thunder a reassuring smile and said "Can we talk later? I mean, we didn't have the chance to actually hold a civil conversation before so I hope we can get to know each other now? I know you're a good person now"
Kiana's proposal seemed to surprise Thunder for a brief moment before a smirk found its way to her face. She chuckled. "Only you would call a Herrscher good, or person for that matter"
Kiana laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "You don't like it? I mean, I'm sorry if that sounds disrespectful or something"
"No, it's... fine" Thunder responded quietly, her glowing gaze met Sirin's for a split second. "I understand now"
Before Kiana could question what she meant, Mei's body suddenly swayed like a lifeless doll. Her blue eyes went wide as she threw the broom she was holding to the floor and caught the purple haired girl, saving her from any possible injury had she hit the ground.
Kiana sat Mei on the couch, carefully guiding her down so she was comfortable. It didn't take long for the young Raiden to open her eyes again, this time without the odd glow in them.
"Kiana...?"
The girl in question smiled brightly. "Hello there, my dear. How are you feeling?"
Mei recoiled from Kiana's arms and blushed, earning a short laugh from the white haired girl. She bit her lip to suppress a pained hiss threatening to pour from her throat. "My head is hurt. Did she come out again?"
Sirin sighed just as Bronya came back, looking genuinely surprised for a split second the place wasn't a ruin before she wordlessly shrugged and went to her room. Unaware with the two pairs of blue eyes staring at her all the way until she's gone behind that brown door.
"I've never seen Bratnya surprised before" Kiana muttered and considering how long she had been with the youngest girl, it meant a lot.
"That's expected" Himeko chimed in, handing a cup of orange juice to Mei, scanning the girl up and down with a frown full of concern. "Man, that Herrscher really did a number, huh?"
"So she did come out, again" Said Mei as she sipped the drink, grateful with its slightly sour nature for offering a form of distraction from the throbbing in her head. "Is it really okay for her to be around?"
"It's fine. Sirin will make it work" Kiana assured with a smile, chasing away the doubt Mei was feeling with that simple gesture. Sirin, meanwhile, could only glare.
"When did I become your Herrscher tamer?" Sirin began exasperatedly when Kiana's cheeky grin grew.
"When you agreed on it"
"I should've said no"
"But you did say no. Whatever made you change your mind"
"Cup noodles?" Himeko answer helpfully, yet one could hear the amusement in her tone once they saw the smile on her face, recognizing this was one of those banters she had come to love between these sisters.
Sirin's eyes flickered between Kiana and Himeko before she crossed her arms dejectedly. "Great. They're close enough already to team up on me" She grumbled, making her way to the kitchen and began raiding the place for something else to consume, again.
Kiana and Himeko shared a high five that went unnoticed by the Herrscher.
Things went on peacefully after that. Well, as peaceful as it could be with two Kaslanas in so little rooms, and the day changed into night almost unknowingly quick. After Kiana successfully persuaded Sirin to do her part, their chores were significantly quickened, with Sirin's all too smug expression being the only sign of her abuse of power as she disappeared the remaining trash into the void, not even moving from behind the dining table where she devoured the cake she found in the fridge.
Now, both girls had just exited the shower, looking far fresh and relaxed in the matching green shirts Theresa gave them. Apparently, the Principal found it appropriate to give them matching clothes since they were basically twins. Sirin didn't care, Kiana found it worth gushing over, and Himeko looked like she's fighting her inept urge to hug both of them because they looked cute. Whatever that meant.
Sirin was doing her sister's hair when Theresa joined them for dinner, looking tired beyond anything only to brighten up the moment her blue eyes landed on Kiana and Sirin. The smile she gave them was so much reminder of Kiana's own Sirin had to refocus her work on Kiana's braids.
"Hey, girls" She greeted, pulling a chair and settling down beside Himeko, right across Kiana. "How's your day?"
"Hectic" Kiana sighed tiredly and slumped forward, unintentionally pulling Sirin along with her. The Herrscher frowned but didn't say anything, simply tugging the white mane to let Kiana knew of her disapproval. "Sorry. But at least now this place looks comfortable enough"
"Thanks to you girls!" Himeko piped in joyfully as Mei put a cup of tea onto the table for Theresa. She gave Kiana and Sirin an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry for not helping further"
"It's okay. Sirin here was such a big help she covered for literally everyone"
Sirin grumbled something under her breath as she finished Kiana's hair, giving her work a once over before nodding almost imperceptibly to herself. It was nicely done, despite the fact Kiana would set them loose later before going to bed, but Sirin wasn't the type of girl who did things halfheartedly. Besides, she did it mostly so they could be differentiate later. They were told they're near indistinguishable with their hair loose from behind, something that came in handy in some situations before.
She patted Kiana's shoulder lightly to let her know she's good before she sat down, grunting when Kiana gave her a thanks.
The sight before her was an alien one.
Sirin couldn't recall the last time she had a dinner like this. The atmosphere was a familiar one, so warm and safe and just... homey. The hot food and drinks, the mery chatters and pleasant smiles, all felt odd to the solitary life she and her sister led. Kiana must have felt the same, judging from the way she grinned stupidly with every little gestures from around her.
"Oh! I can't wait to taste your cooking again, Mei!" Kiana practically bursted with enthusiasm as Mei put her cooking on the table, smiling widely in response to Kiana's excitement. Indeed, the girl could cook, something Sirin learned just now. She never cared much for food since she didn't actually need them to live but she could appreciate a good taste.
Bronya came last, looking fresh also, after locking herself up for half a day in her room to play video games. Kiana had been livid when she found out Bronya quitted helping with chores to play her games, where she found the consoles had never been asked, and pestered Bronya to help more. Bronya simply challenged her to her games with her freedom as bargain, something Kiana couldn't refuse, and also something the rest of the occupants knew as nothing but petty trap.
They didn't have the chance to warn Kiana of it, not until Kiana stumbled out of Bronya's room with the most dejected look she ever shown, as if she had just given up her firstborn to a random stranger. Bronya who had beaten her in every possible fronts merely stared as she closed her door again for the remaining of the day, but they could see the glint of sadistic amusement in her eyes before it shut completely.
"She's a monster!" Kiana had wailed back then, just when the muffled sound of Bronya's game continued from the room behind her.
"They look enticing" Bronya commented after she jumped up to her chair, the dinning table was almost on her eye level so she didn't have a perfect view of the sprawled food. "The Bronya commends sister Mei for her continuously superb cooking"
Mei smiled at the youngest girl, giving her a glass of milk and patting her head affectionately. "Thank you, Bronya"
"Always know what to say to get what you want, huh?" Kiana berated, giving Bronya a pointed look as she stabbed a tofu with a fork and brought it into her mouth.
"The Bronya fails to comprehend what the Idiotka means"
The young Kaslana grunted exasperatedly. "Our match is not over yet, you hear? I'm going to beat you on your own games!"
"Kiana might want to rectify the word beat, it does not define losing ten out of ten matches and wishing for a leniency from her opponent"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"To put it simply for Kiana's below average intelligence, your probability of winning is extremely low, barely exceeding the chance of a meteorite killing a person by a few insignificant digits"
Himeko laughed at Kiana's dumbstruck expression whilst Sirin merely snorted, not even bothering to hide her amusement.
"Oh, that is like, one in two hundred fifty thousand!" The redhead supplied between laugh.
"Wha- Hey! People do die from falling meteorites, so at least I have a chance!"
"You're always oddly positive even in the darkest of time" Mei commented, smiling to Kiana as she sat down. The young Kaslana only laughed to the compliment. "Now, let's all eat"
"Yeah! Let's!"
They shared good hearty meals after that with Himeko pulling a pack of beer for her and Theresa and a bottle of carbonated drink for the girls. Stories and journeys were exchanged shortly after, mainly from the always enthusiastic Kiana about Sirin's and hers lives, and emotions ran wild especially from Theresa who then decided she could probably join Himeko in drinking for the night and get herself drunk for once.
It was well past ten when they figured they should stop and go to sleep.
Sirin could practically feel Kiana's joy as she jumped into their bed, nuzzling and turning on the white, soft blanket as if to spread her warmth all over the tender surface, smiling all the while.
"Oh, comfy bed!" Kiana purred out of glee, turning to her sister who had been watching her with a frown, hands on her hips. "What?"
"Where do I suppose to sleep if you're taking all the bed?"
Kiana sat up and shrugged lazily. "We can always cuddle?" She said as if it was the most obvious thing out there, patting the place beside her.
Sirin sighed, crawling onto the bed to behind Kiana, hands once again going to her hair. This time to undo her braids. "You love cuddling too much I can't even pry myself free to go to the bathroom once we do, especially now after months of not seeing each other"
"Is it wrong? do you not like it?"
Sirin paused and tilted her head. Curious, Kiana never asked about what Sirin wanted or didn't want. Not that it mattered since Sirin would say it herself. A pair of crossed irises travelled down to Kiana's hand where her index finger was tapping her knee nervously. "I don't like nor I hate it" It was a lie, Sirin always loved Kiana's warm body against her despite having a constantly warm body herself, far since they travelled the frozen world of the Northern countries. "I'm okay if you like it"
"You sure?"
Sirin's brows shot up, grabbing Kiana's shoulders and forcing her to turn around so she could see her face. "Okay, what the hell? Where did this come from? You were never so anxious around me"
Kiana was fidgeting. Kiana was fidgeting and it wasn't caused by her hyperactive tendency. She was nervous about something and it annoyed Sirin off. "Well, you see..."
"Yes?" Sirin urged when Kiana fell quiet. "You need to elaborate because I don't pretty much see"
Kiana made a strangled noise before falling to her side and burying her face into one of the pillows. She gave Sirin a glance before turning around from her sister.
"Why'd you make this harder..." The girl mumbled absentmindedly before she sighed explosively. "Were you happy?"
"Of what?"
"I don't know... When you're away you must be happy, right? The fact you never properly said goodbye..."
Sirin's eyes widened. What in the hell is this girl talking about flew and crashed right into her head and embedded itself deep in her conscience, because exactly what was Kiana talking about?! She did bid her goodbye. "But I did leave you a note! Did you not read it?!"
When Kiana didn't answer right away, Sirin's heart sank.
Kiana blinked owlishly to the moon outside, blue eyes distant as if in deep thought. The joy and happiness of both sisters reuniting overshadowed her darker thoughts before, but now the dust finally settled it once again reared its ugly head for her to remember.
Remember the devastation she felt when she woke up with her sister gone from their motel room in Kuala Lumpur.
Kiana had never felt so panicked before, not since that day years prior when the sisters were left alone to fend for themselves only to get separated by an ugly blizzard soon after. Her father taught them how special Sirin was and that many bad people would do anything to get their hands on her to do even more bad things, and with the fog of adrenaline thick on her mind it was all Kiana could think about. That something happened to Sirin when they were asleep.
She almost went as far as to call the motel security despite their policy to not get involved with the authority unless absolutely necessary when she noticed a piece of paper on the drawer beside the bed. A white, torn up page of a notebook with a neat cursive writing on its otherwise pristine surface. A short sentence was all that written for Kiana to see.
I found a clue.
Sirin found a clue and she left her for whatever reason to chase it. Back then she didn't know why would Sirin leave her alone. Was she a burden all along? It was true despite Kiana having the title as the elder of the two Sirin was actually more mature, more knowledgeable and more experienced the role was often reversed but Kiana had been doing her best to learn to be the reliable sister befitting her status as a big sister. The way Sirin left was a metaphoric searing slap to her face and she was reminded how powerless she actually was without Sirin around to help her.
Kiana didn't leave the room for a whole day then.
The first few days after Sirin left had been difficult, not because Kiana was over relying on Sirin but because of her shambled feelings.
She worked at this small food stand owned by a very kind aunty who pretty much accepted her because of how hard she tried to find a job, being a fourteen year old in a big city had never been easy. It was nothing taxing, really, since she was not trusted in the kitchen yet— which, in all honesty was a sentiment Kiana shared considering her history with kitchens— and the wage Kiana was sure exceeded what they're supposed to be. It was one of the easiest journeys, in fact.
Kiana still remembered the confused twist on the stand owner's face when she showed up the next day looking as if she hadn't sleep for a week, which twisted even further when Kiana unconsciously receded back talking in German.
Her Malay wasn't great but she had never called dapur as die Küche out of accident before.
"You could've said goodbye to me" Kiana whispered amidst the silence, her words cutting through the cold air and Sirin's aching heart. The Herrscher averted her eyes to her lap, suddenly afraid to see Kiana's own on her periphery.
"You know I can't" She responded with a deep breath, forcing the lump in her throat down to the deepest of her gut where it might be ignored. "Schicksal's eyes and ears are everywhere there were Valkyries in the city"
Kiana didn't respond immediately, she merely stared to somewhere beyond the window. "I know I'm being selfish" She began, curling to herself. "But we've never separated before, not unintentionally and in such a prolonged time"
Sirin sighed, lying down and sneaking her arms around Kiana to pull her close. "I know" She whispered into Kiana's white mane, inhaling the familiar scent of fresh strawberry. It smelled like home. "And I'm sorry. We promised each other and yet I just had to break it. You have every right to be selfish" And in a much smaller tone Sirin added "And to hate me"
Kiana went still before she slowly, deliberately, turned around to face Sirin. Her eyes are wide, pupils blown in the dim light, and full with horror as they stared at each other.
"You know I can't. I won't. Whatever you will do and have done, you'll always be the sister I love. My sister" Kiana confessed with the most sure tone one could muster as she took hold of Sirin's face to stare into those familiar albeit different blue eyes. "And I'm not mad. Not anymore. I understand you had to do what's necessary. I just wished we could've properly bid farewell to each other"
"I'm sorry"
Kiana pursed her lips, tucking Sirin below her chin and running her hand on her sister's hair. "No, I'm sorry for bringing it up"
"I hate it more if you're to bottle it up. We rely on each other, that means no secrets if we can help it" Sirin fought the urge to keen in Kiana's embrace, the enveloping familiar warmth was one of few things she came to love in this world. "We trust each other deeply"
"Yeah" Sirin could practically feel Kiana's smile at the crown of her head. "I knew we would meet again because I trusted you would return, even if you were the one to find our home again"
The Herrscher paused to ponder her next response before she decided a simple hum was an enough of acknowledgement. A comfortable silence descended upon the room, blanketing both girls in a welcomed moment of solitude. Kiana's hand drifted lower and slipped beneath Sirin's long hair, mindlessly caressing her back.
"When are we going to tell Aunt Theresa?" The young Kaslana continued after a while, unknowingly pulling Sirin from the perpetual verge of slumber the Herrscher had been fighting. Her words felt like a harsh shake that forced her awake.
"I don't know" Sirin pulled back from Kiana's chest and yawned, turning her body so she lied sprawled facing the ceiling. She spent a couple of seconds staring and blinking at nothingness before she shrugged lazily. "They're Schicksal, can you believe them after what we went through?"
It sounded just a shy bit rhetorical, if Kiana didn't know any better it almost like Sirin was being indifferent. But she knew her answer.
"No, we can't. But Aunty Theresa is different" When Sirin gave her an inquisitive look in response, Kiana could only manage a half shrug. "I don't know how, but she looks genuine"
"You were never an excellent character judge" Sirin commented flatly and received a light smack on her shoulder, she giggled. "Remember Atlanta? You were almost a victim to human trafficking just because a lady offered you cookies"
Kiana rolled her eyes in disagreement. "First of, she's just taking homeless people to run her drug labs and since we pretty much fitted the category for like eighty percent of our time then who could blame her?"
"I could"
"Alright, fine, she's guilty of everything. But you know you didn't have to impale her into the ceiling!"
"She's alive. Regrettably"
"That was the only time you used your power for fighting in the middle of a city" Kiana stressed, holding a finger up in front of Sirin's face. "See where that led us? To hiding for a full month because Schicksal detected the sudden Honkai energy spike! We had to eat canned tunas for a whole month!"
"I could've done worse" Sirin said before she held a finger up when Kiana seemed about to protest, mimicking Kiana's earlier gesture. "You're a young girl, Kiana. A beautiful young girl, no less. Who knows what people like her do to girls like you. Just be grateful you're alright"
"I know that" Kiana muttered quietly, sighing a huge amount of breath. "It's just that... You don't torture people, Sirin. No matter how terrible they are"
Sirin grimaced. "She deserved it"
"No, she didn't. Your lances contain high Honkai energy, a mere human coming to contact with them will be slowly corrupted. You put her into the ceiling with a ruined chest cavity while Honkai slowly corrupted her from inside out"
"Yet she lives"
"Exactly why. She continues to suffer, at least if you're to kill you do it quick and swift"
The Herrscher blinked in surprise, staring at Kiana disbelievingly. Kiana deliberately kept her eyes away from Sirin's. "Did you just tell me how to murder someone?"
"I-" Kiana swallowed thickly. "We, um... Nagazora. Some of the zombies still looked humans so we had to adapt"
"You grew numb"
Kiana nodded almost imperceptibly, pulling the cover to hide her chin and the rest of her body. Sirin had no choice but to shuffle into it, too.
"I feel like it's a bad thing" Kiana mumbled, thumb rubbing circles on the outline of the blanket. "Is it? I know they're dead already but the blood looked the same"
Sirin had killed people, more than what someone should be allowed in fact, but even so it's nothing like Kiana. Zombies were hardly people, they were mindless monsters bound to destruction. However, no matter how small it was, humans tended to feel things when they killed something for the first time and something told Sirin a zombified human was worse.
Both Kiana and Sirin had seen their fair share of dead bodies. The maimed, the pulverized, and the exploded. They had seen things girls their age should never see but Kiana specifically had never killed a human before. When they absolutely had to, it was usually Sirin who did the deeds but even so she would do it quietly without Kiana knowing. Ignorance is a bliss. And Sirin would fo anything to keep Kiana's hands clean.
After all, what a drop of blood would do on a hand covered in it?
Yet Nagazora was an unknown variable in Sirin's hastily put together plan, a city on a far away place beyond the sea. It was fate that brought Kiana there, so it was also fate that robbed her of her innocence.
It was a harsh reminder Sirin couldn't always protect Kiana from the uglies of the world.
"You did what you had to do" Sirin assured after a pause, grabbing Kiana's hand under the blanket. "Trust me, you didn't grow numb"
"I'm afraid I did" Kiana said quietly, tightening her grip on their intertwined fingers. "The idea of me being indifferent to killing scares me, more than that odd snake like Honkai beast we fought back in Canada"
"The underground cave one?"
"Yeah... Wait, there's else?"
"... maybe?"
Kiana gave Sirin a look full of disbelief that had the Herrscher smiling nervously. Thankfully to Sirin, her sister didn't pursue the subject further. "You know, when I killed those zombies I felt no remorse at all. I mean, deep down I knew, as you said, they're already dead but they're used to be someone"
"You can't kill what's already dead" Sirin offered plainly. "It's not your fault they're dead in the first place. You're just trying to survive"
"But none of them deserved it!"
"No. It's a reminder you can't save everyone" The Kaslana Oath is faulty, left unsaid despite it sitting at the tip of Sirin's tongue. Kiana didn't need an argument right now so Sirin wouldn't start one. "It doesn't matter. You've decided to join the Valkyrie force and one day you'll be forced to kill someone"
Despite Sirin's advice, Kiana thought it's best if they're to join St. Freya school to become Valkyries. Her reasoning was that all this time they'd been doing nothing but drifting from one place to another, hardly with a purpose, so by joining Schicksal's Valkyrie unit they could at least fight the Honkai and protect the innocents.
Sirin had pointed out the contradictions of Kiana's decision and their own policies, the single fact they're to join Schicksal went against everything they did to stay away from the organization. Of course, they talked about it in somewhere safe, without prying eyes and ears and nobody knowing.
It was when they're showering.
The hard twist Kiana performed to the shower knob was completely unnecessary but Sirin didn't comment on it, instead resorting to an unimpressed glare as she folded her arms over her chest. Kiana briskly pulled out her dress and tossed it into a basket, peeling her second skins off her body until she was left bare under the falling cold droplets, eyes blazing with challenge.
"I should be the one to be mad" The Herrscher growled and Kiana scoffed. "What the hell were you thinking, exactly?"
"What, finding a cause?"
"A cause- Kiana!" Sirin pushed Kiana back until her heels hit a wall, meeting Kiana's glare with her own. "Do you even listen to yourself?! This is Schicksal, the very same organization who experimented on people and children and committed every immoral actions possible!"
"It's also the same organization mom was part of! Look, at first I thought they're the bad guys just like you told me but Aunt Theresa and Aunt Himeko are actually nice so I think I should at least give them a chance. Everybody deserves a chance, Sirin!"
"Everybody but them" Sirin spat, pulling away from Kiana. Her steps sent splashes of water and drew sharp intakes from Kiana. "I thought we agreed to always be together"
Kiana's hand shot forward and grabbed Sirin's, trails of crystal clear fluid running down her face, some came not from the shower overhead. "We did, so please don't leave. Not again"
Sirin studied her sister's face, the hand holding her own felt oddly cold and shaky. She could easily pulled her arm back, open a portal and go without breaking a breath but she knew if she did so it would be no different than to rip her own heart out.
"I will not become a Valkyrie" The Herrscher declared with an obvious sign of finality, grabbing Kiana's hand with her free one and forced it off of her. Kiana sobbed in distraught, certain Sirin would leave her again, this time for good, before she felt warm fingers on her cheek. "And I will not leave you either. I will stay with you here, learn the same things you do but I refuse to be a Valkyrie"
"Okay..."
"No, you have to understand. Being a Valkyrie means you're bound to a duty of protecting others, but the Overseer is a cunning man. He, no doubt, must have gotten a whiff of our whereabouts. He will try to manipulate you to do his biddings, maybe even force you to go against me in the future. When that time comes, you'll have to make your choice"
"You" Kiana said frantically. "Always you!"
"Maybe now you say so, but no one is certain of the future. Perhaps one day you'll be the one to leave me" Sirin cut the ambient energy she used to manifest her dress, leaving her bare just like her sister, before she brought Kiana's hand to her chest where her heart was. "This power is Honkai in origin, it's destructive in nature. I don't want to return to my old self so if it comes to that..."
Sirin trailed off as she pressed Kiana's hand against her chest, until her sister could feel the steady beating of her heart inside her ribcages.
"I want you to be the one to rip it off of me"
TBC
Thanks for all the reviews, guys, and don't worry about spoilers. It's okay to give me spoilers, what is not okay is for me to give you guys spoilers for this story so sorry I won't be answering any question about the plot.
See you guys in the next chapter of whatever the hell this is.
Peace out, guys.