It was surreal. The feeling of being light as air, almost as if I were nothing. It was almost comforting, the little amount of effort it took to move, almost like the feeling of being carresed by clouds. I could jump, and stay suspended by nothing. My movements were light, and it took no pain. Everything that hurt, all the cuts, scars, they were gone. My legs hung free of no cast, and back free of a brace. The imperfections of mine were invisable to my own eyes, seeing nothing but a beautiful light covering my skin. My senses had escalated, seeing the once dull colors of my surroundings a sudden overwhealming electric. I could smell everything, the grass, the wind, even though there was nothing in this bliss. The shadows that should be there were replaced with bursts of light, shining bright. I danced through the air, toes barley making contact with the lime green grass. The birds sang, their song usually so annoying to me, now sounded angelic. You could feel, your fingertips tingling at the sense of whatever crossed your mind. You could taste what you hadn't eaten, and better yet, anything you imagined could be real with just a thought. Bad memories instantly vanished, and were replaced with the joy of the present. There was nothing I would change about this world. People might question why I would want to be stuck in nothingness for eternity, but it was more than just nothing. To me, it was everthing I could never have. A world without pain and sorrow is truley worth more than the one I had been stuck on. But the only thing that hinted any bit of worry, and made me question my happiness, was the fact that I knew I was dead.
Once this thought occured, something changed. The outstretched meadows, filled with bright yellow specks sunk into the light below. The lime green grass was replaced with a opal pool of water, and the tree's perfect limbs grew twisted, as pine filled my nostrils. The warmth I was floating on changed its appearence into a shining coat of snow, spreading itself onto the land. Without warning, the sky grew dark, and I felt myself become more than nothing. The glow that I had shone into a much greater light, something that I could feel. I touched my bare feet to the snow, expecting it to be cold. Instead, it felt just like...nothing. Curious, I traced my hand over the surface, watching in shock as my hand disappeared below the surface. I pulled it back, surprised. I rushed to the closest pine, and pressed my palm against the bark. Instantly, my arm sunk into the tree, and appeared at the other side. It was different, the ability. But it didn't matter. I was invisible to the real world.
I felt the snow touch me in a way, but it didn't feel like...snow. It felt much heavier, pressing through my form. I glanced around, letting the light travel away from my soul, casting its ray far out into the blizzard. The light shone near a plank of wood, rotting not far from the shore of the water. I started to walk alonf the rim, but decided to try something. Without a doubt, I easily strode across the face of the blue pool, walking towards the dim spark. Within seconds, I reached the sign, and looked back. The lake stretched far out into the distance, the other end out of sight. It would have taken at least ten minutes to get even half way. But, I was in the twisted reality of death, so I took advantge of it, allowing myself to catch the next gust of snow, floating up into the air with the breeze. It carried me to where the light awaited, glowing against the wind. The letters had faded, the sign had been painted years ago. I traced the outline of what remained with my pointer finger, watching in awe as the letters became solid. I stood back, and read it.
Starks Pond.
Why was I at Starks Pond? This place didn't have much of a meaning to me, more or less having gone skating here almost daily. The sign faded back into it's normal coloring, the light pushing back into my chest. Seeing the snow fall this hard, the wind whistling against the leaves, made me wonder how cold it actually was. I tried to blow my breath, at least hoping to see a cloud appear, hoping that this was just a dream. There wasn't the slightest cloud, making me sigh. I felt myself. I could feel things, but they couldn't feel me. The one thing that made me upset, out of everything spectacular I could do, was the fact that I no longer existed. Forever gone from the eyes of my friends and family, but still on earth. My planet had gone, it wasn't making its presence the least bit known. So I was stuck. Stuck until I could figure out how to get back.
I walked along the dirt trail taking me to the main road, not even bothering to fly. The trail ended when the gravel stopped, but I couldn't tell due to the lack of feeling. I had been walking on the trail, not nervous about what hid in the dark. Because, I was oblivious to it, being nothing other than a walking light. My eyes caugth the distinct line signaling the end of the path, and I hopped onto the pavement. There were no lines on the road, none of the neighbors wanting to chip in the least bit to ensure saftey. I followed where I assumed the lines would be, dead center.
Occasionally a car would zoom by my side, not seeing the boy walking casually past. The first time I saw a car, I ignored it, but was startled by the honk, jumping to the other lane. The car they honked at swerved into the lane, hitting their brakes, crashing into the hood. I got off the ground, and just stared openly at the wreck. There was nothing I could do, and no one I could call, so, I continued on my way. I only stopped when I heard the frantic screams of the woman in the wreck. When I turned back, she was standing next to her car, glowing a bright white. She looked at me, reaching out an arm. I stood back, as she seemed to realize she was no longer inside the car, and looked at the drivers seat. I quickly spun back, rushing away as I heard her scream in horror at she saw her mangled corpse. Within the second, I was at least a mile from the wreck, no longer seeing her glow in the distance.
I watched my feet walk inches from the ground, each time a spark of light coming from where my foot had touched. It had interested me, not having anything better to do. My thoughts seemed to veer towards something new with every second, racing with random memories, that, I don't even remember. They became so real, that when I remembered a camping trip from when I was nothing but a baby, my head spun, and I plopped on a bed of moss in the deep woods. Rain was cascading down, but keeping a safe distance from my warmth. I looked around, confused at where I was, until something caught my eye. It was transparent, but I could vaugley see the outline of a tent- our tent. It was the memory, taking me to the place where it was created. There were no people here. Just the cold silence. Trying to think of a way to get out, my mind changed courses, and I was set on finding a way home. The breeze flew by, sending crumbling leaves into the air, and when my eyes opened, I was on my bed. My bed. Not in the hospital, not in the woods. I was home. I hopped down, surprised by the strange force keeping me from the floor. I let it carry me down the stairway, exploring the house that no longer was mine. Nothing was mine anymore. I felt the force tug and my pant's, the pant's I wore almost everyday, and pull me to the kitchen. I had barley found my way to the entrance, when I heard a familiar voice.
"Kyle?" I looked at the table, where my mother was sitting, drinking her coffee.
"Mom? Mom!" Releived out of my body she could see me, I sprang forward to hug her. Instead of a warm embrace, I fell past her and the chair, onto the floor.
"Yes, and what about him?" I turned around, so I was facing the bottom of the chair. She couldn't see me. I heard my dad's keys jingle, as he burst into sobs.
"Shelia, he's...he's gone." He whimpered, trying to reason with her. "And this time, he isn't coming back." I got up and stood so I was facing my mother, watching her calmly sip from her mug. "He's dead." At that word, she began to shake her head.
"He isn't dead, Gerald. He's just fine, in the hospital." She stated matter-of-factley. He glared, before continuing to cry.
"Shelia, he's your son for god's sake!" He screamed, bursting towards the front door. Once the door slammed, I looked at her again, and saw a single tear slide down her face.
"He was not my son."
The rage, the hatred I felt towards this one person was undesribable. Suddenly, all the emotions that had been drained returned, and they made my innocent light burst into a blaze. The fire grew around my body, covering my in the growing flame. It grew bigger, and stronger, until all of the kitchen was ablaze with hate. When I felt a coldness for the first time in this life, I sent it over the flame, sparking it up to the ceiling. It grew across the house, until there was nothing but fire. And she just sat there, drinking her coffee. She couldnt see her house burning around her, because only my eyes could see the destruction. Only my eyes could see what a bitch she was- exempt for now. Now, it was just a fact. A tear slid down my cheek, and as soon as the drop of light managed to hit the floor, the fire disappeared in a flash. Everything was fine, unharmed. I wanted to leave, to forget about her. Be rid of her presense. And that's what I did.
I closed my eyes, and tried to remember. Anything would work, any place that would bring me away from her. The memories began to flash, sending random thoughts through my brain. They scrolled before my eyes like a wheel, deciding your fate. As they begin to slow, I began to feel a sense of dread. A feeling of worry, anger. Guilt. 'Why did you leave me, alone, and dying?' I clench my teeth at his voice echoing through my head. Not that memory. Please. 'Why did you do this to me, Kahl? Why did you hurt me so-' Cartman. Cartman! No, stop. Stop this torture. 'Why-' I had to! I...wanted to. I'm sorry, if I could take it back I would. I would.
'I did it because I hate you, Cartman! You're undoubtfully the most self centered, racist, predjudice piece of shit on the entire planet, and I hurt you because I couldnt let you hurt anyone else anymore!' I let out a cry hearing my own words, burning a scar in my mind. I didn't mean it. Please. That's not what I meant-
'You really are just a stupid Jew, arnt you?' I know, what I did was stupid. I would take your place, be in your shoes, but I can't- 'Remember your bitch of a mother telling you when you were younger, that if someone teases you and makes fun of you, it means they like you?' I remember. I get it. All this time...all you wanted was my attention. You got it. I'm sorry...so, so sorry...I didn't get it...I was stupid...'Let go,' I cant. What I did to you is unforgivable. I deserve to be dead, not you... 'Let go of the guilt.' The guilt I feel for you...I can never let that go.
It all sunk it against my will, letting my mind fight over the truth. "No...I'm...I'm sorry." I gave in to my own thoughts, mentally defeated. When my eyes pulled open, I felt a wave of relief that I was gone from the house. My mother. But it didn't last, because the memory brought me somewhere I didn't want to go. I didn't want to, but I needed to.
The hospital room gave you a sense of sorrow, but even more confusion. I reconized the vase containing the festive boquet, now slightly wilted and out of water. I looked around confused, not telling why I was brought here. A light formed on the bed, slowly moving around the room. The artificial glow meant the room would be otherwise dark, the lights out. Something pulled me towards the light, following it with an outstreched hand. It traveled out the door, and led me down the hallway, filled with people running the other direction. Their shouts were muffled by a mist that only I could sense, growing by the second. The ball of light pushed into my chest, filling me with a strength that lifted me from the ground. Once again, I let it carry me to the destination it wanted to be. When I was almost at the ceiling, I looked down at the mist covered doctors, now completly still. It was as if time had stopped, but it hadn't, just slowed. I was in the present, watching the doctors below m floating figure try to revive a patient. The defibrillator pads were held above his chest, about to send a volt of electricity through the frail body. My body. It was then that the guilt turned into something else. It still remained guilt, but it wasn't for Eric. It wasn't for my actions, or how this is how everything happend. The guilt was caused by me not being able to be with Eric when he saved me.
And with that, the pressence of anything below me dropped, and I fell to the cot where my lifeless body was sprawled across. Instead of sinking into the bed, I fell right into my corpse, sending the cloud of mist to the ceiling.
Everything was black. There was no feeling, no anything. I couldn't even sense myself. There was only the slightest feeling of shock coarsing through my emptiness. I expected it to leave, but it came back, much stronger than before. And with another shock, my emptiness filled with life, as I felt my forgien heart beat in my chest.
A/N- Yay! I brought Kyle back to life! Woohoo! This is seriosly how I imagine it to be when you die, and I secretly love killing people in my stories so I can write about death...lol. Anyway, this whole chapter was based on Kyle's out of body experience. It was kinda sad when his mom didn't care that he died...what a bitch. I promise there will be more chapters after this, AND they'll have more Cartman...or like...his body. THANK YOU so much for reading! Thank you to all the people reveiwing! It makes my day when I get a review! Please reveiw...if you want.