Holy shit! I actually wrote a chapter today! Err. Typed a chapter today. I wrote this some time ago, but never had the chance to post it. I am so smart XD (P.S. this is raw, as in, I kinda didn't thoroughly read it. So if there are any mistakes, please tell me.)

"Take off your shoes. I just got these floors cleaned."

Roy blinked. No greeting. But, then again, this was Ed.

After taking off his shoes, Roy sought to bridge the silence with some small talk.

"Soo… What's for dinner," Roy asked, hoping that the pipsqueak could at least make SOMETHING edible.

"Don't know," Ed snorted as he set the table, "He wouldn't tell me anything."

Roy perked at the word.

"He? Who's he? Is someone else here?"

Sighing, Ed shuffled into the kitchen and came back with a young man. Ed leaned in to whisper something into the man's ear, and as Ed pulled back, the blonde looked suspiciously nervous. A feline grin lapped the stranger's face and he chuckled. Wiping his hands on a towel, he stuck his hand forward and introduced himself.

"Hello, my name is Aleixandre. Nice to meet you."

"Name's Roy. Likewise," chirped he as amiably as he could, "I take it you're Ed's roommate."

Aleixandre twisted back into a mysterious smile.

"Why, yes. I'm terribly sorry for barging into your date," simpered the brunette, "If you like, I can leave."

Before Roy could shove this asshole out the door, Ed mumbled something.

"Please. Stay."

Roy stared wide-eyed at the blonde.

Pigs must be flying now.

"If you insist. And you, Roy," inquired Aleixandre, none too innocently.

Roy could feel his blood boiling. Gritting his teeth, he wished to brain the brown-haired brat with whatever was close at hand.

"I'm perfectly fine."

That iron vase would do nicely, Roy thought, with a sadistic grin.

"Roy, what the fuck is up with your face?"

"Nothing, my dearest fullmetal. Absolutely nothing."

Dinner was surprisingly good. The roast was moist and flavorful. If it weren't for the long punctuated silences, this might have been the best date Roy ever had.

Whoa. This was certainly not a date. Not with Ed. Ed is the farthest thing from the word sex.

Removing himself from his thoughts, Roy glanced at his host. At the head of the table, Ed had swallowed the first serving and was poking uninterestedly at some bits of broccoli. Aleixandre began picking up dishes and currying them to the kitchen.

"Ed, if you're done eating, please take your plate inside," called the brunette.

Silently, Ed obeyed without any complaint.

Roy was now completely dumfounded.

Quickly, Roy grabbed his phone and dialed like the wind. As soon as someone picked up, Roy hoarsely shouted:

"Havoc, have you gotten laid this entire week?"

Silence.

"Uhhh…No?"

Roy hung up. The universe was still in working order. He looked out the window.

Outside, the sun was setting in vibrant hues of marigold, daffodil, and rose.

Wait, is the sun setting in the right direction?

Suddenly, he heard a clinking of glass and the fast shuffling of feet. When Roy turned around, there was no one to be found. There was, however, crème brûlée, softly steaming. As tempting as they were, Roy was not going to choose now to be a bad guest. So he waited for his hosts to come.

Five minutes passed and there was no sight or sound of the two men.

"Mmmmmm…." came a rather dirty sound from the kitchen.

Almost breaking down the kitchen door, Roy found Aleixandre wiping his hand on a dish cloth and Ed, who looked like someone had caught him with his pants down.

"Ed, what is that on your lip," asked Roy, who brought attention to some white fluid on the corner of the blonde's mouth.

Aleixandre raised his eyebrow. Chuckling, he swiped at the offending scrap with the dish cloth.

"Just some whipped cream," the brunette laughed, lifting a can of the supposed substance.

Like clockwork, Ed muttered, "I'm not feeling too well. I'm gonna go to bed."

He exited the kitchen, leaving Roy with Aleixandre.

"You still want dessert?"

Roy shook his head and grabbed his jacket.

As he put on his shoes, Roy asked Ed's insufferable roommate to bid goodnight to the ill blonde.

"Sure. I'd be glad to," purred Aleixandre.

Roy wanted so badly to punch the guy, but once again, he didn't want to be a bad guest.

Whatever.

"Bye, Roy," Aleixandre called out as Roy was leaving.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

I...like italics.

I write pathetic chapters T-T Hopefully, once I throw some delicious conflict, this story will start getting interesting. Building tension is boring:/