Yes, I haven't updated. But then a very special Secret Santa project at Cheeky Monkeys of Dragon Age inspired me. So I thank Suilven and the other Monkeys for the motivation and to Brelaina for her beta skills. I hope you guys enjoy; this is the continuation of Zevran and Lucia's first meeting. Merry Christmas!

LCailan

CHAPTER TWELVE

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. – Oscar Wilde

Lucia's stunned silence continued as she gaped at Zevran, who refused to hide his merriment at the situation. She couldn't deny the fact that his laughter sounded like a cool breeze on a hot day, like bells on a clear, cold morning. She was as riveted as she was infuriated by it.

"I'm so glad you think this is funny," she hissed with disgust, her mouth turned down in a frown. His eyes danced merrily.

"It is humorous, my lovely one. There is truly some hilarity in the thought that you believe me stupid enough to fall into another one of your traps. Backed into the corner you still come out fighting. How I love that about you!" he exclaimed with a wide smile, his laughter dying for the moment.

Then he grew more somber. "You remember, yes, that I am a Crow?"

"I would rather forget that. Forget you," she replied hotly.

"Ah, well...some people are unforgettable, are they not?" he cajoled. "But do you think I would be stupid enough to meet you anywhere you suggested? Where at the Pearl does Alistair wait, my pet? Does he insist on ambushing me right away, and does he come alone, or does he have reinforcements?"

The question was light and innocent, but Lucia could see murky intent in his eyes, and some murder as well. He was like treachery herself wearing a cloak of seduction.

"I don't know where you get such rubbish!"

"I love it when a woman can look me in my eyes and allow such lies to drop from her enticing lips."

"It's too bad I'm not lying," she continued to lie, staring him in the face without flinching.

Zevran continued to laugh.

"I would be quite flattered, dear lady, to follow you anywhere, but after such a cold reception why would I believe that you would do me no wrong?" he challenged then, his comments taking a completely different turn now. "After all you claim to hate me, yes? I fear for my safety."

His eyes mocked her. Lucia's fists clenched visibly but she did not speak, allowing the assassin to continue.

"To that end, I would love to spend an evening with you at your choosing and leisure, although I do not think that is your intent. Sadly. In fact, I do not think you would speak to me other than to have me walk into a trap set by your betrothed. Although I must say…using you as bait is quite ingenious for I have never known more beautiful bait than you, my ravishing Warden."

His eyes raked over her in the darkness with unabashed desire.

"How do you say…the jig is up?"

"You son of a bitch!" she hissed, causing him to grin widely.

"Son of a whore," corrected Zevran, wearing a kind smile. "My mother leads an unfortunate life, and to say she is not a whore would be a lie. Call me what you may, but the truth is that I am the son of a whore. Not a bitch. Not to change the subject, but...I must correct you on such technicalities for never would I want to defame my mother's character."

His words were cool, laced with a silky condescension and his smile was one heavy with satisfaction.

She wanted to claw his eyes out.

"I hate you!"

"You wish it but alas, it is not to be."

"I never want to see you again!"

Zevran watched her casually.

"The sad thing is...you are denying yourself the one thing that might make you happy. And that is a life with me. Spin your anger however you wish but that will not make the truth go away."

Lucia scoffed.

"Hardly," she snapped in a hurried fashion. "I would never want you. Not now that I know who and what you are. Never."

There was a tremble to her voice, but her stance didn't waver.

"And you wonder why your love life is so tragic?" he countered with a chuckle, surmising her with an appreciative glance. "It's simply because you have chosen again and again men whom are wrong for you."

Lucia's eyes widened.

"Who are you to judge me and my choices in men?" she screeched.

Zevran laughed easily.

"I do not judge, my love. I simply offer gentle advice."

There was the same heart melting smile. She looked away.

"I don't need your advice, or your guidance, thank you," she said stubbornly.

"Ah but I think you might," replied the elf.

Lucia shook her head, a snort escaping her.

"No, I don't. None of that is your business. It never wasyour business!"

Zevran only smiled knowingly and then allowed the silence to reign for a second.

"Ser Gilmore was quite the catch, yes? A man who was more enamored of your brother than of you?"

"No!" she shot back. "Gilmore was...well, he was...in awe of Fergus, I admit. But I know he cared for me!"

"Only when he deemed you worthy of his time, yes? I distinctly recall your saying that you always felt the shadow to your brother when you were together. What kind of man would make his woman feel that way?"

Lucia tried to hide the angry trembling within her.

"My brother is a great man! He is much to be inspired after! All the Couslands are great men!" she shot back defensively. "I won't have you smearing their name, not in front of me! I am a Cousland!"

"And I love it!" exclaimed Zevran passionately. "I never meant to defame your name, I was stating that your lover seemed much more interested in climbing up the ladder so to speak than in actually wooing you as you deserved. But let that go, shall we?"

Eyes narrowed, Lucia practically hissed at him.

"Shut up," she said. "Or I'll-

"What?" he challenged. "I can think of many things you could do to me, although I'm certain you would not be interested in any of them," he chuckled and she made a face, flushing at his words.

"You disgust me."

"Oh, but now! Look at you now!" he said in mock appreciation, ignoring her insults. "In all your finery and one step away from living in the Royal Palace! Mi amor, you have made quite a life for yourself!"

Heart shattering inside her chest, Lucia dared not speak lest she reveal her confusion on the life she had chosen.

"Tsk tsk...and Alistair! You could not have chosen a finer husband if you had wanted!" he exclaimed with a bright smile, though she knew this was just another way to betray her, to make her confused and she narrowed her eyes, refusing to let down her guard around him.

Zevran continued in a conversational tone. "He is quite the catch yes? Loved by all, a great man, brave and strong!"

The words were meant as a veiled mockery, and Lucia wanted to lash out, to stomp her feet like a little girl having a tantrum. She wanted Zevran gone, far away, gone from her sight, and gone from her life and her traitorous heart. She took a deep breath.

"You mock him," came her cold words, each like a dagger meant for his heart if he even had one. "But you aren't even half the man he is!"

Zevran burst into amused laughter once more.

"But my dear, I have never strived to be the man he is!" he tittered. "Why should I? There are too many wholesome men in the world, and I happen to have a deep fancy for myself. Is that so wrong?" he questioned quite pleasantly. "I aspire to be different. To be a little twisted, an unexpected treat in a life full of the mundane. And that is exciting!" he exclaimed.

Lucia's eyes flashed and she turned from him then, because the shuddering in her body was much too hard to contain, and she knew he was right, she knew it, and that's what she had loved (oh yes) about him.

But no more.

A man who could betray someone he claimed to care about was not one she needed in her life. Pity that, for it hurt.

"Go," she whispered hoarsely. "It's clear you only came to mock me and the new life I lead. Jealousy and spite will eat you alive Zevran and I don't care a bit," she finished, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

It was getting harder and harder. He didn't move, and she could still feel him behind her. She could still feel his hand on her heart, warming her from the outside in. She could feel her knees weakening for one impossible moment. No. No.

"What is it you love about him?"

"What is it you want from me?" came her scared whisper. "I want him! I told you, I never...when things were difficult, he didn't mean to turn on me! He made a mistake, and I forgave him because I love him. Don't you see? If I had loved you, don't you think I'd have given you another chance?"

This time her words had their desired impact, for she could see in that moment, the fall of his lips, the flash of pain in his eyes, and the way his posture faded. Yes, this time her words did hurt. But she didn't feel the satisfaction she had hoped - instead there was sodden guilt. She pushed on.

"I chose him a long time ago. I shouldn't have...gotten you involved and for that I was sorry for a long time. But not anymore, Zevran. You lied to me, and so that makes us even. I don't care where you go or when you go but you need to stop this."

"This?" came the inquiry. "Why should this bother you if you love Alistair so much?"

Silence.

"What is it you love about him?" came his question once more.

Lucia felt herself falling apart in the worst way possible, and she shook her head.

"Why does that matter? Anything I say holds no merit in your eyes," she whispered. "We've already had this conversation."

"You never gave me a chance to explain!" he exclaimed, angrily stating his purpose for a second time, this time with more desperation. "If you would only listen to me and allow me an explanation you might see that some things that seem so horrible on the surface are not so bad! Am I truly unpardonable?"

"I didn't need you to explain!" Lucia cried back. "Don't you see? I'd already made my decision!"

Finally Zevran backed down, dropping his head.

"And so that is it?" he questioned, and she hated...hated the tone of his voice. It hurt her in ways she couldn't explain.

"Please go," she said unemotionally. "Go and I promise to tell Alistair you were never here and you can crawl under whatever rock you came from and no one will be the wiser."

She wouldn't even look at him, instead closing her dry, hot eyes. She waited a moment, breathed in deeply of the icy air, and when she opened her eyes, he was gone.

Gone.

He wasn't here. I'll just pretend like he wasn't here.

Her eyes filled with tears as she turned, stumbling to grab her bags - to get inside for she was shivering, trembling really, shaking now. From the cold, she told herself.

"From the cold."

The tears fell unchecked as she raced through the servant's quarters towards the staircase to lead her to the solitary confines of her suites. There she found herself sobbing uncontrollably over what she had lost, and because she knew no other way to express her sorrow.