Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater (Darn it!).
Katsumi: Hey! Well, I hope last chapter was okay. I tried to write like Soul would, but in my opinion, Soul's a sexist pig/ profanity pig. I tried to keep the cursing at a low, but it's kind of hard. I've only gotten two reviews! PLEASE! Share your ideas! Pwease?! :3 - (fail cat face.).
Chapter 3:
Kid
Finally! I am out of the nurses' office/ hospital! Oh, they really go overboard with preparations for my "treatment" process. I did have about 50 flowers get delivered to me by girls all over the school. Weird. Well, I guess I grew a bit over the summer, I'm an inch taller than Patty now! Maybe I'm finally growing. I've been the height of a twelve-year-old for almost half my teen years, since I'm 15. Oh, the shame of being that short! Oh, I could almost die of shame! Well, back on topic… Yes. All those flowers. Very nice of those who gave them to me, but why? I've never been shown this much appreciation by most of the students. Why now. Ah, I have to get to Stien's class. I rub my face, trying to relax. Well, I better go get Liz and Patty. Got to get to class.
I was just sitting down in my seat, when a group of girls passed, giggling. One waved and said, "Hi, Kid!" and then ran away, laughing hysterically. And here I was, thinking I had a good grasp on how a girl's mind worked. I was completely wrong. Well, Stein's starting his lesson. I think I ought to pay attention.
WHAT?! No. It's asymmetrical waste! No! I can't bear it! It's crazy! This can't be! He just showed up, in my newly-symmetrical room?! But how? It's- it's impossible!
"Fool! Hello. We meet again," he says in his irritating voice. I groan. Not him. ANYONE but him! I turn, and to my utter horror and shock, to see that little lame body of… Excalibur.
"No!" I gasp.
"Fool! You don't know what you're saying! I, Excalibur, am here to give you advice… on women! You see, I sometimes know what's going on here and even what goes on in your head. I establish a connection, and… Voilà! I just listen in. Ah, the glory of it all!"
"Uhh… heh?" I say stupidly, out of shock.
"Fool! Take out a note pad and pen. I want you to copy some of the importance I say down! Ah-hem… Number one: Make sure you preset her with flowers, though not directly at first. No cards! Second rule: If number one does not work, then at a party, ask her casually to dance. Women always like that. If, perhaps, she already has another admirer, or she's dating someone else, use rule number three: Fight that man to the death! Or act tough and scare him off. And finally, rule number four: Profess your undying love to her, fool!"
And with a bow, he disappeared.
"Uh- heh… WHAT IN MY FATHER'S NAME WAS THAT IDIOT EX-no. He might come back if I say his name! Okay, then. A-hem. WHAT IN MY FATHER'S NAME WAS THAT IDIOTICT, ASYMMETRICAL THING DOING HERE, IN MY ROOM?!" I shouted, pacing.
"Hey, kid?" says a voice in my door. I look up. It's Liz. "Just a minute ago, why did Ex-"
"Don't say the name!" I squeak. How much had she heard?
"Uh, well, why did the weapon that disgusts you so much say to 'Profess you're undying love to her!'?" She asks me, intrigued.
"Oh, er… Nothing, no! Just being annoying, and ah, you very well know, being excruciatingly disturbing, and if I must add, doing the most random yet disgusting things that embarrass me so! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" I say, nervously.
"Kid, you're lying. You're talking in old English, which means you're nervous. The most proper and uptight language, if you ask me. You always talk like that when you're nervous," she says, knowingly. Damn it! I think. Oh, I'll have to tell her the truth.
"Well, Ikindahavacrshnmka," I mumble.
"What did you say?" she asks me.
"Um… I need to go to bed. Goodnight! Aheh-heh," I say. I race to the door, slam it in Liz's face, turn the lights out, and lie down.
At lunch the next day, I sat down and ate on my own. I was just thinking on how to get Excalibur away from me once and for all, when a person came over to me.
"Can I sit down?" Maka asks. I look up.
"Sure," I reply. "Why aren't you sitting with the others?" I ask her.
"Soul wants me to not sit with him today. He says he needs to talk with the others for a minute," she says. She takes a bite of her sandwich. Her eyes go wide. I look at her, questionably. She opens her mouth and starts coughing. I realize she can't breathe. I grab her stomach, hoist her up, and do the Heimlich maneuver. Then, I lay her down, and give three compressions, and one breathe. I keep doing that, until she can breathe again. She coughs a little, and breathes in, shakily.
"Thanks," She says feebly. I realized my lips are inches from hers.
"Uh… No problem," I reply. I help her up, and without warning, she leans up and kisses me. My eyes widened with shock. Then, she pulls away, grinning. She skips off, leaving me, dumbfounded, behind. I realized I was in the same position. My jaw was slack, and my mouth was hanging open. Just then, someone punches me on the side of my head, bringing me back to my senses. Was that… Soul? Yes, it was.
"What the-" I start to say, when another fist comes hurtling toward me. It catches me under the chin. I start to see stars. I stagger backwards. Blood is pouring down my face.
"Why- the- hell- did- you- kiss- Maka?!" Says Soul, punching me with every word. He pushes me down to the ground. I must look like a laughing stock. He punches again, and this time I catch it. I twist his hand, until I hear a wail of pain and a sharp crack, and then I let go. When I try to get up, I feel light headed. I stagger and someone catches me. I look up, seeing double, but I can make out Maka's face. That's the last thing I see before I black out.
Katsumi: Sorry for the wait! I don't really have a lot of time for typing and all now, what with school just starting and everything. I hope you liked the chapter! I'm going to include Excalibur in more of these, don't worry! but before I say any actual spoilers, Katsumi, out!