DR. DAVIES' LETTER

James Davies got himself ready for the same routine he had been in the past week almost. He slept in late and woke up late. He placed his bare feet on the floor for a few minutes before finally deciding he should shower. After, he wrapped a robe around him and went downstairs. He sat at his little breakfast table reading the paper and drinking coffee. The only other sounds in the condo was that of the birds twittering away outside. Other than that, silence. He welcomed in the silence actually and he was happy living alone without anyone else. He only spent all day at work looking after crying children and their nervous parents, the least he could request was a nice space of his own away from all that. But when he was home he found he was missing the chaos of his practice. He loved children and it warmed his heart he was the one who took care of them.

What was different today however was the fact that Dr. Davies wasn't going to go into work. He wasn't missing the children pulling at his stethoscope or drawing on the white paper lining the exam tables. He didn't want to deal with that now, and the reason he found wasn't a good one. Just a couple weeks ago one of his patients had died as a result of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. The poor boy was only twelve and actually hadn't been suffering from the disease for too long. He had been going through chemotherapy for only two and a half years. Of course it was difficult knowing a child whose health you were looking after before he was diagnosed as well as in-between treatment had passed away. But James Davies was only thirty-one and truthfully, wasn't used to having his patients die on him like this.

He worked for a little while as an ER doctor before opening a practice for pediatrics, thanks to his parents who were well-off. During that short time spent at Hell's Pass Hospital he had only witnessed four deaths, two elderly men, one druggie, and a woman in her forties who had been in a car accident. He had never experienced a child's death before and it hit him worse than anything else. He wasn't the one who actually gave Stanley his chemo drugs, but he saw him plenty of times when he was home and even a few visits at his hospital bed.

Dr. Davies felt naive thinking he'd never experience something like this eventually in his career. Leukemia was the most common form of cancer for children, he was bound to give the diagnosis and see the signs in a child eventually. But he had not. All the time examining children the majority of things he told parents were 'your child has asthma, diabetes, is overweight, underweight, or has an ear infection'. It had never been something as serious as leukemia. And to such an undeserving child too (not like any kid should have the disease). Poor Stanley Marsh had a reputation of hating hospitals and doctor's offices and needles and rubber gloves. It wasn't fair he would endure the worst of all those things and more. But being a doctor you came across many things that were not fair and you had to learn how to get up and move on. Yet somehow James could not. A patient of his had died, not on his own hands, but had still passed away due to an unfortunate situation.

Dr. Davies kept to himself the rest of the morning, trying to keep himself busy without doing busywork. It was the perfect time to catch up on paperwork or things of that nature that needed to be completed but he really wanted to stay away from his work as much as he could. He tried watching TV until the sound of the mail truck was heard just outside his building. He waited ten minutes before the mail man left. He stepped out, still in his robe, and went to grab his mail with a couple of his neighbors who greeted him and he waved a short hello back before going back inside. James flipped through a couple bills and boring crafts magazine but the thing he did not know of was in the envelope on top the magazine. He looked at the address and saw that it came from Stanley Marsh's home. Curious he sat on his sofa and tore it open- to find another envelope inside. This one was smaller and had a post-it note on it.

Our son left this to you in his will. We do not know what it is. Thank-you for everything you have done for my family. Randy Marsh

James had no idea what this could be but he respected all the kids he took care of and if Stan wanted him to have whatever this was, he was going to have it. He opened it and found a letter, one page long. Defiantly not what he was expecting.

Dr. Davies

Was written in Stan's untidy lettering. Only then did the pediatrician notice he did not really recognize the boy's handwriting. He had never really had Stan fill out a form or anything when he was his patient and in general never had seen what his writing looked like. It felt a little odd to stare at this sheet of paper knowing the words written on them came from him and him alone. Well, he had nothing better to do, might as well see what it said. Hopefully it would make him feel a little less guilty.

Hey, Stan here. I just wanted to take a quick time out to say thank-you for everything. You were a really cool doctor.

The man grinned.

Remember how I told you during my first check-up/meet-and-greet with you how much I hated doctor's offices and hospitals? Well you lessened my hate. I stopped getting annoyed that I had a doctor's appointment because of you. Sure you've only been my pediatrician for a few months before I was diagnosed but I still was always happy to see you. You're a really cool guy Dr. Davies. You make kids feel safe and you really care about them.

James felt his eye sting at the words.

You lighten the mood all the time and make every visit a pleasant one. I'm really glad my family and you got real close real soon. It made my mom really happy especially. She couldn't believe she had found such a perfect doctor for me! Also, how much you seemed to care. A lot of time you can tell a doctor cares little about his patients and more about his pay-check. You are the complete opposite. You worked tirelessly with me. Diagnosing me and checking up on me after my diagnosis. Thanks so much for putting my needs first like that. I'm sorry we couldn't get to know each other a bit more these past few years Dr. Davies.

"Hey, don't say that champ," James found himself saying.

And since I was your patient for only a few years you might forget me.

James shook his head at this.

But I won't forget you. You're a smart, kind, selfless man and that could be hard to find in the medical world. :-) Thanks though for all your help and being a real good doctor. I will miss you!

Your "champ",

Stan

June 7th 2013

James looked at the date again and shook his head; this was written only a month ago. It was almost eerie. He sat there for a small while, thinking over what he had received and read. He had to admit it was making him feel slightly more cheery but he was also tinged with sadness. It was as if the spirit of Stan was coming out of the paper, he could almost see this boy sitting in his hospital bed writing it. He wondered who else may have gotten a letter before shaking his head knowing that was stupid. He had to have written to his family and friends as well. But it was so sweet for him to have thought of him as well. That he was important enough in the child's life to have words to spill too. A tear burned his eye once again thinking of Stan.

His thoughts then traveled to all the other kids he whose health he was responsible for. He rubbed his eyes; he felt horrible. He was stewing in his own sadness too much to be bothered with children. The thing he had dedicated his life to for so long now. He loved kids and he was abandoning them for days now. He knew there were parents who would not be pleased with him. What if there was something seriously wrong with any of the kids who came into his clinic? What if there was another little Stanley Marsh whom he had to see and diagnose?

James got to his feet and took hold of the letter. He had to smile.

"You're welcome for everything…champ. I've got some other kids who need me now so I'm going to run okay?" He had plans to pin the letter up in his office back at his clinic should he fall short anytime in his life again and need an extra push. Stan wouldn't be the last child whom he gave bad news to and he wouldn't be the last child whom he would watch suffer and grow more ill before a disease finally took hold of his life. This was what he did for a living and he couldn't take every case to heart like this. James went up the stairs, deciding to dress for the day and call in Pediatric Medicine to tell them he would be in tomorrow. It would be a new day and he was certain he'd feel refreshed and ready to go.

Short but to the point. Only two more letters left. Review and come back for them. Thanks.

Lots of love: Rose, April 3, 2012