Chapter 4
As Bella and I entered the living room together, I shook my head. It had never occurred to me before just how out of touch with their vampire sides my family was. They had to be clueless, if they thought sitting all together on one side of the room and leaving Bella and I to sit alone across from them all wouldn't be threatening. Never the less, I trudged over to the open couch, sitting to one side so Bella would have room to lay next to me, her furry head in my lap. My hands automatically began to tread a course through her downy fur, occasionally scratching behind an ear.
Despite his having called this meeting, Carlisle seemed to be miles away in his thoughts, not even turning to greet Bella and I. Esme had looked up briefly when we entered, but continued to fuss over Edward, whose hands had apparently been scratched by either Rosalie or myself. Speaking of my sister, she seemed to be the only one paying us any attention. The glare she was shooting at Bella set me on edge, but I tried not to tense up and disturb Bella who, for the moment, was quietly and calmly watching my family. I had a suspicion that Emmett's arms around Rose's waist were the only things keeping her from tearing into us again. I made a mental note to brush up on my fighting skills. I needed to be able to protect Bella, because, God love her, my girl isn't a fighter. I smiled down at the cat in my lap, rubbing her head affectionately. For all her muscles and roaring, she's really just a biggie sweetie.
It had only been a few seconds since we entered, but it seemed like much longer in the silence. I was almost grateful to Rosalie for breaking it. Almost.
"Get your filthy pet off the furniture!" She sneered.
"Rosalie." Carlisle interrupted sternly before I could respond.
"What? That thing attacked my mate!" Rose screamed, struggling a little harder in Emmett's hold. I guess I was wrong. At least one of my family members is in touch with their instincts. Now I kind of wish she wasn't.
"She didn't…" Esme started to chime in, but Rose interrupted again.
"I don't care! I want her gone!"
A hiss ripped from my throat as I stood abruptly, startling Bella, who drew back in surprise.
"Both of you, calm down." Carlisle mediated, standing between Rose and I.
"I won't give her up!" I screamed, crouching and preparing to fight anyone who tried to separate us.
"We would never ask you to do that, Alice." Carlisle placated, urging me to calm down until I finally relented, sitting back down next to a highly alert Bella. She let her two front paws rest on my thigh, while her head brushed my arm as she stared around at my family cautiously. The second of relative peace was broken by Rose's shrill cry.
"What are you talking about?" Everyone winced at the pitch, turning to face my irate sister. "That animal can't stay here! It tried to kill Emmett!" Said husband scoffed.
"Babe, please! That kitten couldn't kill me! I had it in a hold in less than a minute!" He actually sounded offended by her comment. And if Bella knew what he'd said, she'd probably be highly offended by his comment…even if it is true.
"Besides, the fight wasn't Bella's fault." Edward chimed in quietly from Esme's side where she continued to coddle him against his protests.
"You're right. It was Emmett's!" I shouted, childishly pointing at my brother, who just gaped at me, almost releasing a snarling Rosalie in his surprise.
"What?" He exclaimed loudly.
"That's right! If you hadn't snuck up on Bella and I, this wouldn't have happened."
"What? But…"
"She's actually correct, Emmett." Carlisle pronounced, silencing his son, but redirecting Rosalie's fiery glare onto himself. "Mates are extremely territorial and protective. Particularly, newly mated pairs. You should have known better than to surprise them that way."
I sat back, crossing my arms and smiling smugly at my married siblings.
"That's not to say you're off the hook, Alice." Esme quickly put in, and I turned to her, narrowing my eyes.
"Your mother's right, Alice. You're behavior recently, and especially today, is worrying." Carlisle said, unconsciously easing his way between Esme and I. As much as he repressed it, his vampire urges weren't completely gone either.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I lied, looking down at Bella, who had laid her head back down, over her paws.
"Yes, you do." Edward muttered, quickly looking away when I growled at him.
"Get the fuck out of my head Edward!"
"Language, Alice!" Esme gasped.
"I asked him to check on you." Carlisle admitted. He had a gift for getting people to redirect their glares.
"You had NO right…"
"Alice! Stop, and just listen for a moment. This is serious."
"Yeah! A serious invasion of my privacy!"
"Alice, your behavior…" Esme started to interrupt and I shot out of my seat to face her, pointing a finger threateningly.
"You are on thin ice with me already!" I snarled.
"HEY!" Carlisle yelled, stepping into my space with an authority he rarely used. Looking down into my pitch black eyes, he met my glare with one of his own. "You do NOT speak to your mother that way. SIT DOWN!" He growled, catching me so much by surprise that I followed his demand without a thought.
Once I had retaken my seat, Carlisle came out of the state he'd been in, seemingly shocked at his behavior as he raked a hand through his hair, pacing behind the coffee table.
"This is all her stupid cat's fault. She's making us all crazy! She corrupted Alice and now it's infecting Carlisle as well!" Rose scowled, watching the paternal blonde walk back and forth in front of her.
"Rose…" Esme warned, but was interrupted by her own husband.
"No, she may be right." Carlisle said, still pacing, Esme watching worriedly. "I mean look at my reaction just now. Or better yet, think about how Alice has been acting ever since Bella arrived."
"Don't you DARE blame my Bella!" I growled, but Carlisle didn't seem to hear my words. In fact, he didn't even seem to be speaking to us anymore, rather just thinking out loud.
"Territorial…expected…the behavior…so feral…completely natural, but…No, that can't be…maybe…hmm…"
"Carlisle." Esme finally interrupted, standing to pull on her husband's hand. "What are you trying to say, exactly?"
"Well it's rather ironic really. Simply put, we brought Bella here to assimilate into normal human culture and experience, but without even trying, she's instead made us wilder. A reverse domestication process…subconscious…" Carlisle trailed back into his mutterings as the rest of the family turned to Bella and I.
"You see? I told you! That cat has to go!"
"She's my mate!"
"She's nothing but a pain in the ass."
"If she goes, I go!" I yelled, finally silencing everyone. Even Carlisle stopped.
"What?" Emmett asked, surprised as the rest.
"You heard me."
"You'd give up your family, the people you lived with for almost a century, for some ridiculous cat girl, who can't even speak? Who you've only known for three days?" Rosalie hissed.
"Yes. I love her." I stated, leaving no doubt to the truth of the words.
"Impossible!" Rose spat, looking at Bella with disgust. I growled, covering Bella protectively, as best I could. "Even if you did love her, she couldn't love you!" My sister sneered. "She wouldn't know how!" I refused to show any reaction to her words, despite their hitting a nerve. Could Bella understand love? Not just mating, but love?
My heart told me love was an emotion, a higher form that didn't need any knowledge of language to understand and feel, but there still remained that inkling in the back of my mind. Could I ever be sure that what she felt was more than biological? All her actions told me she cared about me, but were they just normal mating behavior in her mind. In the wild, lions nuzzle and act affectionately at times, but that doesn't mean the male lion loves any of the lionesses he breeds with.
I looked down at Bella, falling into the expressive green eyes that watched me worriedly. It was as if she could feel my doubts and it was causing her pain.
"Perhaps it would be best for the family to go away for a while?" Carlisle suggested, finally coming out of his thoughts.
"WHAT? NO! Make the cat leave! I'm NOT moving again!" Rosalie snarled, glaring hatefully at Bella and I.
"Not a move, Rosalie, just a break, a vacation. I think we all need a little time to get ourselves back to a place of control. Unfortunately, I don't think that can happen with Bella around. She brings out our monsters too easily."
"Right, so make her leave." Rose muttered, but Carlisle ignored her, turning to face Bella and I.
"Alice, you need to find some sort of balance. Before Bella arrived, you were one of the best in the family at controlling your nature and thirst. I'm concerned that this lapse in control will make it more difficult for you to stick to our diet when you return to school. Strong emotions run a higher risk of causing a relapse. Just keep this in mind." He said, giving me a nod before turning to Edward and Esme.
"Edward, you may either go to Denali, or come with Esme and I."
"I'll go visit our cousins." Edward said, his face showing distaste at the idea of going on some type of honeymoon with his parents.
"That's fine. Esme and I will go to her island?" Carlisle said, looking to Esme for confirmation. When she nodded he turned to Rosalie and Emmett.
"I still don't see why we need to leave when it's the cat that's causing the problem." Rosalie huffed, crossing her arms.
"Because I am hoping that being in the house unthreatened will allow Bella time to acclimate to this environment and encourage her human side a bit more. The more she learns and integrates into civilization, the easier it will be for us to remain in control of our vampire instincts."
I listened to all of this quietly, but something about what Carlisle said irked me. I wanted Bella to be more comfortable as a human, and learn how to function outside the forest, but I didn't want her to become just another drone of society! I didn't want to lose my wild woman completely! But was it possible to have both?
"When are you planning to leave?" I asked, once Emmett had finally convinced his wife a trip to Europe wouldn't be so bad.
"Hmm, I'll have to let the hospital know, but I think the sooner the better. We'll shoot for tomorrow evening." Carlisle announced, and the so called 'family meeting' broke up as everyone went to make travel plans and pack.
That left Bella and I alone on the couch. She was looking up at me with her big green eyes swirling in confusion.
"Don't worry Bella. You may not understand, but you'll like this." I promised her, placing a kiss to the top of her head and stroking the fur at the back of her neck. "Now, let's try out your new bathroom again." I grinned, leading Bella upstairs where I'd set up the grass mat on my balcony. So far, she'd been frustratingly unreceptive.
It was actually nearly three days later before the last of my family left. Edward couldn't get a plane to Alaska until then, and Esme would never let him run up there by himself. I swear, sometimes she treats that boy like he's four instead of fourteen, or the hundred and four he is in reality.
I'm not sure what it was exactly, but apparently my beast was still angry with Esme, even though I'd forgiven her. Ever since the other day when she taught Bella, it seemed everything she did bothered me to no end. It was unfair really, but I couldn't help it.
But finally, the day had come when everyone was finally leaving. Thank God! I loved my family, but they were all getting on my last nerve, at this point.
Carlisle, with his extra time off, had somehow managed to teach Bella how to ask what something was, even with her never changing out of cat form in his presence. So I had the wonderful task of answering every time Bella said, 'was that?' Damn it Carlisle! On top of which Esme had stuck labels on seemingly everything in the house, so Bella could 'learn to recognize the word for the object,' she explained.
Speaking of my wild woman…
"Bella?" I called, after shutting the front door behind the last of my family members. It was odd for her not to be right beside me. I immediately started to worry she might have left.
"BELLA?" I called again, this time more panicked. It was unnecessary though, as almost immediately a white lion lazily made its way to the top of the stairs, most likely from my room. After a brief inspection of the room, Bella changed, swaying her hips with a feline grace as she made her way down the stairs bare as ever. At this point, I'd finally gotten used to Bella's nakedness. That's not to say I take the view for granted now, I've just accepted that Bella prefers and feels more comfortable without clothes. So I stopped trying to get her to wear them when we're alone. It hasn't exactly been a hardship for me to see a naked Bella prancing around, nor has it been an issue of other people seeing her. Bella won't even stay human for Esme anymore. Apparently, my mother lost that trust. It was probably my fault, but I assuaged that guilt by blaming it on my instincts.
"Liss?" Bella asked, following it with a wide yawn. "Was that?" She asked curiously, pointing to her mouth.
"Yawn." I answered, rolling my eyes, as I took her hand and brought her into the kitchen. She was always hungry after her cat naps in the afternoon. I grabbed a pre-formed burger patty from the fridge and found the correct instructions in the handmade book Esme had put together for me (another reason for me to feel guilty). I followed the page to the letter, and a few minutes later I had a fairly large rare burger on a plate and a drooling nude woman eyeing it hungrily. I was still trying to expand her taste buds a little, so I added a slice of tomato and a pickle to the top of the patty and placed it in front of her on the table. As I had come to expect, Bella shoved the toppings off to the side and grabbed a fist full of the still slightly bloody meat.
"Bella." I warned, staring pointedly at the vegetables she'd shoved aside. She glared at them, her nose scrunching with disgust, and I had to agree. They smelled terrible to me, but I knew they were good for her. Besides, she needed more variety in her diet than meat and berries. So far, I'd been able to add apples and carrots into the mix. Grains were completely out. She refused to even try most of them. She didn't like eggs, onions, celery, or most cheeses. However, she LOVED peanut butter. She'd put it on damn near everything if I let her. Through the idiocy of Emmett, we also discovered that Bella is allergic to chocolate. It was lucky Carlisle had a shot to counteract the swelling in her throat after my idiot of a brother tried to make friends with Bella by offering her a candy bar. Now she distrusts him even more. I felt a little bad about that actually. He wasn't trying to hurt her, but the fact that he did put his name a little higher on my shit list. Also on that list were ticks, after I'd found one in Bella's fur yesterday. How DARE that little bug try and steal my mate's life source. If anyone would taste Bella's blood it would be ME and me ALONE. I had to reel myself in after that one. The beast didn't even want to let Bella out of the house anymore, for fear she'd acquire another of these heartless creatures, but I knew that would be worse than death for her. She lived to be outside. She was a free spirit in that way.
A half eaten piece of tomato that was spat onto the counter drew me back from my thoughts and I looked at Bella, who was regarding me angrily with her tongue sticking out. I guess she blamed me for the bad taste in her mouth. Rolling my eyes at her, I pushed her mug of water towards her and she chugged it down. Despite the failed attempt with the tomato, once she'd finished her burger, I insisted she try the pickle, and I'm glad I did. It turned out to be one more thing I could put on the 'Bella will eat' list. While I was washing the plate at the sink in the kitchen island, Bella pointed to the label in the middle of the granite counter top.
"Counter." I read for her, being sure to enunciate each sound carefully. It was becoming second nature to me now. I saw her lips moving, trying it out, but no sound was actually produced. She slapped her hand on to the granite twice, pointing again to the label and I nodded. "Yes Bella. Counter." I said again, gesturing to the whole island. I sighed, drying the plates and putting them up in the cupboard.
"Liss?" Bella asked, hopping off her stool and coming to my side. She peered into my face worried about something, probably my expression. Personal space was still something we were working on. Not so much for my benefit, but other people. I took a step back, allowing some room between us as Bella continued scrutinizing my face. "Sa-duh?" She asked, using one of her new words. I smiled, shaking my head.
"No Bella. I'm not sad." The truth was, I was wistful. I was looking forward to a time when things could just be easy with Bella, with everyone. I truly loved Bella, but I would never claim to be a patient person. I wished she could just understand. I wish she knew what I meant when I said I love her.
She didn't look convinced despite my attempt at a genuine smile. Instead, she opened her arms. "Ha-guh." She more or less demanded, and I really did smile this time. She'd become quite fond of this word/action. I was all too pleased to indulge her.
Wrapping my arms around her, I let her pull me into her chest, squeezing gently. As she pulled away, I reached up on my toes to peck her cheek again before finally stepping back. As in the clearing, Bella blushed, looking at me in amazement.
"Liss?"
"Kiss, Bella. Kiss." I said, pulling her hand up to my lips and kissing her palm.
"K-Kee-sss."
"Almost honey. Kiss." I said again, waiting for her to practice forming her mouth correctly.
"Ki-hiss."
"Good Bella. Kiss." I said, happily performing the example on her hand again.
She watched, enraptured by the display, and apparently eager to try it herself. She took my hand as I had done to her and pressed it against her relaxed mouth. I giggled, taking her hand back.
"You forgot to pucker up, like this Bella." I said, smooching the air at her before dipping my head and doing the same to her hand. She was beaming as we swapped again.
Puckering her lips into an adorable pout, she once again pressed them against the back of my hand. She lingered for a moment before pulling back, a big smile still on her face and I couldn't help laughing. She'd gotten the basic idea down, but it wasn't quite right. It was like pushing two dolls' faces together and calling that a kiss.
"Bella come here." I said, hopping up onto the counter and pulling her into place between my open legs. Now that we were at equal height, it would be easier. Pulling her face towards mine, I watched her eyes for any unease, but found only excitement and curiosity. So leaning forward I pressed my lips against her cheek, instead of pulling back, I moved to the corner of her mouth, leaving another kiss, this time letting my tongue sneak out for just a quick taste before pulling back and examining Bella's expression.
Awe didn't seem quite substantial enough to really describe how she was looking at me, and I actually felt like I could blush. "Lisssss." She breathed, staring at me like I was the sun.
Then without warning she leaned in and placed a kiss to my cheek. It was sloppy and wet, but it was definitely a kiss.
"Good Bella. Good Kiss." I said quietly, easily losing myself in two green hypnotizing swirls. I only questioned for a moment whether my next move was a good idea, but in the end, I went on an impulse. Sneaking my hands up Bella's neck and into her hair, I pulled her to me once more, this time landing my lips directly on hers, moving them slowly against her mouth, and hoping I wasn't freaking her out.
At first, Bella didn't seem to know what to do, but after a few moments, she was matching my movements, mimicking me in this, to learn, just as she did with everything else. In this case it worked out perfectly. I gasped when she was the one to first quest further into my mouth with her tongue. Although, perhaps I shouldn't be surprised, she did have a tendency to want to explore everything by taste.
Bella picked up this lesson far quicker than any of the others. Although the kiss wasn't burning with passion and lust, it was soft and tender and perfect for Bella's first time.
"Ki-hiss?" Bella asked when I pulled away, bringing her fingers up to her lips and touching them gently. I shook my head, breathing heavier despite not needing to.
"No, Bella. That's a…umm…" I didn't want her to think that was just a regular thing to do. If she started kissing other people like that, the homicide rate in our area would most certainly increase. She tilted her head to the side, waiting for my word intently. "It's an Alice kiss." I finally offered, shrugging, unable to come up with anything better.
"Liss ki-hiss?" She questioned, and I nodded.
"Yes. Sure. It's a Liss kiss. Only for Liss." I said, pointing to myself. Moving to hop off the counter. Bella looked at me almost skeptically for a moment, but I convinced myself I was seeing things. Then waving a hand away from her side, she wandered back out to the living room.
I watched her go, torn as to how I felt about it. In some ways I was glad she was feeling more comfortable here and moved around on her own, but I missed the Bella who was glued to my side. I missed the Bella who needed me.
Oh dear. What a hypocrite I've become. One minute I want Bella to be able to speak perfect English and understand everything, and the next I want my lovable mute back who was always snuggled into my side.
"Liss? Was that?" Bella asked, coming back into the room with a piece of paper in her hand, the tape still connected to it. It was obviously one of Esme's labels she took off of something. Taking the piece of paper from her, I looked down to examine it and gasped, slamming it face down on the counter.
"Damn it Emmett!" I growled.
"Liss?" Bella asked again, now concerned by my reaction. What could I tell her? Emmett apparently thought it would be funny to draw two stick figures performing an act which would be obvious to anyone, but Bella. Beneath the perverted drawing in bold letters he wrote 'cunnilingus.'
He was SO dead when I got my hands on him. How the hell does he even know that word?
"Drawing, Bella." I finally mumbled, knowing she wouldn't know any different, and it wasn't exactly a lie. There was a drawing on it, even if it was perverse. "It's a drawing."
With that I proceeded to tear the paper into shreds and threw them in the garbage.
"Come on Bella. Let's go draw something ourselves." I said, smiling as I took her hand and led her back up to my room. She was fond of drawing, usually using my charcoal sticks, but sometimes she would use a pencil, now that she'd gotten use to it. Her art was a little more abstract than mine, but it was still beautiful. I had no doubt that if she had access to more things besides sticks and dirt or rocks, she'd be an even better artist. The best part about drawing was that it was something we both enjoyed and understood. You didn't need language to understand art.
Once Bella saw me pull out her designated sketch book and a charcoal stick, her eyes lit up and she eagerly took them from my hands, finding what had become her usual spot at the bottom of the stairs to my platform level. I normally worked at my desk, but if I was drawing with Bella, I laid on my stomach at the top of the stairs, doodling whatever came to mind.
Getting lost in my own work, I was surprised to look up and see Bella's supplies abandoned. I realized the air I felt wasn't coming from the vent, but was actually a draft from my balcony door and turned to peer out the glass. Bella was standing to the side of her mat, arms folded on the railing as she looked off into the woods. I smiled, taking in her silhouette in the waning light of sunset. Her long hair barely moved in the gentle breeze. I considered that a haircut may be needed in the future, being that her beautiful brown locks covered most of her backside. It must be incredibly heavy and hard to manage.
Standing, I silently made my way outside, slipping an arm around her waist and taking the place beside her at the railing. A soft purr vibrated from Bella's chest, as she briefly looked down at me before returning her gaze to the distant trees.
I watched her frowning slightly. Did she not like living here? Was she not happy? An idea struck me, and I eased away from her before darting into my closet and throwing on some shorts and a cute tank top. Rushing back out to Bella, I grabbed her hand, beaming up at her.
"Come on Bella. I think you need a camping trip." I said, hopping up onto the railing and turning to make sure Bella got the idea. Once she joined me, I jumped down, landing in a perfect crouch on the grass. Bella dropped down gingerly right beside me, turning to see what I would do next. Taking her hand, I started walking into the forest. I thought the clearing she had shown me would be a perfect spot for our first camping trip together.
I grinned cheekily as I thought about how this was exactly the opposite of Carlisle's intention of our time alone. Oh well.
Soon we broke through the trees, frolicking into the long grass and wildflowers. Bella gave a throaty laugh as I twirled around the space, arms held out. It was definitely freeing. I could understand why Bella enjoyed being out in wilderness. I agree that nature has a beauty that can't be replicated, but I still enjoy some of the more material things in life. I don't think that will ever change. It's what I know, just as this simple, feral way of living is what Bella knows.
I nodded to myself. I would make these camping trips a regular occurrence for us. It wasn't fair to ask Bella to accept my way of life without giving hers a shot also, at least part of the time. With my new philosophy in mind, I stopped twirling with a new determination. Locking eyes with Bella, who had sat down, trailing her fingers lightly over the blades of grass, I moved my hands to the hem of my shirt, steeling my courage before ripping the piece of clothing over my head. I figured, when in Rome…
This is how Bella lived in the wild, and wanted to get the full experience. My bra, shorts, and panties swiftly followed, making a neat pile on the ground.
I shuffled my feat, staring at the ground. It felt odd being so exposed out in the open, and I couldn't help being a bit bashful. A warm hand wormed its way into mine, clasping our fingers and finally causing me to look up. The sparkling green eyes that greeted me immediately set my worries at ease, and I returned Bella's genuinely happy grin. Her eyes took a slow trip down my body and back up, appreciating her new view, but her gaze didn't hold any real lust. I didn't know exactly how I felt about that, but I suppose for her, being naked wasn't an indication or catalyst for sex. It begged the question in my mind, what would be? Now that we'd overcome nudity, hugging, and kisses? If I did want to get down and dirty with her…in the future, would she know?
"Liss, come." Bella stated innocently, tugging me down into the grass as I giggled at her choice of phrase. Bella looked at me in confusion, but apparently decided not to ask and instead, allowed me to rest my head on her stomach as we laid perpendicularly under the darkening sky. I sighed happily into the night and released a light purr to match Bella's. I could definitely see this becoming a regular thing for us.
A/N So I didn't think Bella would immediately recognize a kiss on the lips as anything sexual, don't know if you agree, but...whatever. I'm pretty happy with this chapter, which is a rarity for me, so hopefully some of you will agree.