"Uncle Steve?"
Steve's head snapped towards the doorway at the whisper of his name. He had been dreading this moment with every fiber of his being. He hadn't even realized that the night had slipped away. Without windows in the ICU ward he had no concept of time. He could have sworn it was only a short while ago that he had spoken to Rachel. A conversation that had left him with mixed feelings. Rachel had been somewhat closed off, a steely tone to her voice. Perhaps it was her way of preparing to tell Grace of her fathers condition. Whatever the reason, Steve was extremely apprehensive of seeing her. Now that she stood stoically behind Grace he wasn't sure what to think. He was having a difficult time reading her expression as she eyed the prone figure in the bed.
Grace on the other hand was an open book, just like her father Steve thought sadly. She stood tall, grasping tight to her mothers hands that lay over her shoulders. Big brown eyes like saucers that kept fleeting back and forth between himself and her Danno. Unshed tears sparkled in her eyes and he could see a slight tremble to her lips.
"Hey kiddo"
Steve barely recognized his own voice, rough with disuse and grief. He offered a small smile that didn't match what he was feeling inside. The guilt was tearing his heart out and ripping a hole in his stomach. Danny's little girl, his most prized possession, was standing before him with an ocean of fear in her eyes, and it was all his fault. She would never forgive him for what he had done to her father, he didn't expect her to.
He saw her trepidation, understood it. He himself had not wanted to touch the battered body that lay before him. How could a nine year old girl not be afraid to do so.
Steve held out a slightly shaky hand towards Grace, unsure if she would accept his offer. He didn't deserve her comfort but found he suddenly needed it. His question was answered when less than a second later the little girl broke free from her mothers grasp and flew into Steve's arms. He held on, feeling Graces small arms wrap tightly around his neck.
"Is Danno gonna be okay?" Her small voice shook. Steve glanced up at Rachel who remained in the doorway. If he had been hoping for some help with the answer to Grace's question it was gone quickly when Rachel turned her head away.
Gently, Steve moved Grace's arms from around his neck and looked her in the eye.
"Remember when I told you how tough your Dad is, and brave?" Steve repeated his words from months ago when he had gone to pick up Grace after Danny's run in with sarin. Everything had worked out fine then, maybe his words would render the same results this time around.
Grace nodded, a stray tear escaping her eye and rolling down her cheek. Steve reached a finger up to brush it away, pairing the gesture with a warm smile. This up close he was taken aback at the resemblance Grace had to her father. In the past he had always seen Rachel, brown hair, brown eyes, pretty face. But now, really looking at Grace he saw nothing but Danny. They had the same trusting eyes.
"Well it's gonna take a while, but little by little Danno's gonna get better. He's gonna be sleeping a lot, but that's good because the more he rests the stronger he'll get"
Grace turned her head to look at her father. Steve could feel her tremble slightly in his arms.
"C'mere" He stood and gently guided Grace closer to the bed.
"It's okay Gracie, you can hold his hand. In fact, I'm sure it's just what he needs to start feeling better"
It wasn't a lie. The one thing Steve knew for sure was that a touch, a hug, a word from Grace was the one thing that could always make his partner feel better.
"Go ahead darling" Rachel's soft voice floated across from where she now stood at the other side of the bed. She offered a small nod and smile to her daughter, encouraging her to do as Steve said.
With her mothers approval, Grace raised her hand and slipped it under her fathers still one. Steve felt his heart stutter as he watched her wrap her small fingers around Danny's larger ones.
"Hi Danno, it's me, monkey" Steve swallowed hard at Grace's use of the nickname Danny used for her. She glanced back at Steve with questioning eyes. He smiled and nodded that it was okay that she speak to him.
"Uncle Steve says that you're gonna get better. He said it's good that you're sleeping, just like you tell me when I'm sick."
Steve watched Danny's face while Grace spoke. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to see, he knew full well how medicated Danny was, but he couldn't help but have that small hope that Grace's voice would pull some sort of reaction from him.
"Uncle Steve is right, isn't he Danno? You are going to get better aren't you? You have to Danno, we didn't finish reading Because of Winn Dixie, and we were up to a really good part..."
Steve felt his chest constrict as Grace's voice became emotional, she began choking on her words. He could see her squeezing Danny's hand as if she could wake him up herself.
"...we have to find out if Opal finds Winn Dixie. Please Danno, please wake up so we can finish it. Please..." Grace dropped her cheek onto Danny's hand and began crying, begging her father to just wake up. Steve should have known better than to let Rachel bring her here. It was too much for any child to handle, let alone Grace, who worshiped the ground her father walked on.
Steve didn't know what to do, if he should offer the little girl comfort or let her get it all out. The decision was made for him when Rachel pushed past him and leaned down to wrap her arms around her daughter. Steve could here her whispering into Grace's ear but he couldn't make out what she was saying. He took a few steps back, desperately trying to hold onto his own emotions. Grace was breaking his heart. He had caused Danny's innocent little girl to have a breakdown at her father's bedside.
"Come on sweetheart" Steve was pulled from his thoughts as Rachel lifted Grace into her arms. A tear streaked face turned in his direction, big glassy brown eyes piercing his soul.
"You'll stay with him, won't you Uncle Steve?" Grace hiccuped as her sobs died down.
"Every second, I promise"
She didn't reply, simply turned her head back towards Danny and whispered, "I love you Danno," before resting her head on Rachel's shoulder.
"I trust you'll keep in touch Commander?"
"Of course, I'll call with any change"
With a terse nod Rachel quietly left the room.
The course of the day brought no news and no change in Danny's condition. Steve sat idly beside his bed and watched as nurses and doctors periodically took vitals and checked on Danny's stats. They suctioned his tubing several times and changed the dressing on his head once. Steve quickly learned what all the machines were doing, what the monitors were for and found himself checking them all day, hoping for some positive change. The staff was kind to him, asking if he was okay, telling him it was alright to take a break and stretch his legs, that Danny was in good hands. He couldn't. He had made a promise to Grace and he was going to keep it.
Her visit had taken it's toll on him. It kicked the guilt up several notches, and with no word from Chin yet on the car reports he felt it weighing even heavier. He found himself touching Danny's hand a lot, needing the contact to remind himself that Danny was still here. He would wrap his fingers around his wrist, feeling for Danny's steady pulse beneath his fingertips. His brain knew that the monotonous beeping from the monitors told him that Danny was alive, but he needed a physical reminder so his own heartbeat would even out.
The arrival of a new nurse told him it was shift change and it was the only indication he had that it was late in the day. He thought briefly about Chin and Kono and why they hadn't been back all day. He knew they were running on empty having come right off the case last night, both injured, and then spending half the night at the hospital with him. He hoped they had gotten some much needed rest. As if on cue soft footsteps pulled him out of his thoughts.
"Hey Boss." Steve found himself smiling in spite of himself at Kono's warm smile.
"Sorry we took so long getting back here, Governor threw a case in our laps earlier, wouldn't take no for an answer." There was obvious anger flowing through Chin's words.
"Ah man, I'm sorry guys. You should have called me." It was a weak offer. Even if the Governor had waltzed in here himself and demanded Steve's attention on a case he would have refused, doing whatever he had to do in order to remain by Danny's side.
"Nah, we handled it, no biggie" Waving Steve off Kono stepped up to the rail of the bed. Steve watched her run a few fingers through Danny's hair then lower her hand to rest it atop the lifeless one on the bed.
"How's he doin'?" Chin asked studying Steve closely. He noted the lines of exhaustion on Steve's face.
"No change." The cousins glanced at one another sadly, they could hear the emotion in Steve's two short words.
"It's still early, his surgeon said it would be a while before there is one right?" Chin tried to be reassuring.
"Yeah" Steve replied hoarsely. "Those the car reports?" he added, nodding at the folder in Chin's hand.
"They are." Chin confirmed, lips pressed together tightly.
"And?" Steve wasn't sure what answer he was hoping for. On one hand he was praying nobody had tampered with the car, he couldn't bear the thought of someone intentionally trying to hurt Danny. On the other hand he was looking for anything other than it being an accident, something to blame this on other than himself. He held his breath waiting for Chin's reply.
"And it looks like this was just a really horrible accident..." Steve felt his stomach lurch, partly from relief and partly from overwhelming guilt.
"...They went over every inch with a fine tooth comb. Made it top priority. It appears that everything was in working order." Chin paused, Steve could tell he had more to say.
"What?"
"We went through HPD's accident reports. According to the witnesses who called 911, they were driving behind Danny right before he crashed."
"So they saw the crash, what happened Chin?" A huge part of Steve did not want the details, but he needed them.
"Well, they said he was going pretty fast, definitely above the speed limit, but not driving erratically until a car that had been traveling on the opposite side of the road got closer. Then they said he cut the wheel really hard as if to swerve out of the way and that's when he lost control."
"So this other car, it ran him off the road?"
"No, witness said the other vehicle was safely on the other side of the road, nowhere near Danny. I guess we'll have to wait until he wakes up to find out what really happened." Although Steve was happy to hear Chin sounding pretty sure Danny would wake up, he was sick to think that he already knew the answer to that question.
"Can I see?" Steve reached for the folder, wanting to read the reports for himself.
"I don't know if that's a good idea brah."
"He wouldn't let me see them either." Kono, who had been quietly stroking her thumb over Danny's scraped knuckles, chimed in.
"It's bad enough I had to see what's in here, I don't need you..." He looked pointedly at Kono. "...or you..." eyes now back on Steve, "...having nightmares over it."
"Well Chin, I'm a big boy and I think I can make that decision all by myself." Steve snapped, reaching his hand back out. Chin sighed heavily and placed the folder in Steve's outstretched hand. He knew nothing he could do would keep Steve from wanting to see it, that he would demand it even if he hadn't brought it with him.
Chin moved to stand next to Kono, placing a hand on Danny's forearm.
"Hey brah, we're all praying for you. Take as much time as you need to heal as long as you get through this, you hear me? There's a box of Coco Puffs with your name on it just waiting for you, my treat." Chin smiled and squeezed the arm he was holding.
Steve gripped the file folder tightly in his hands but not opening it. If Chin was adamant that they not see it then it must be pretty bad and he did not need to fall apart in front of his team.
"You guys looked wiped"
"Says the man who looks like he's been run over by a truck." Kono's hand flew to her mouth when she saw Steve flinch at her poor word choice. "Oh God, I'm sorry...I didn't mean.." Tears flooded her eyes.
"It's okay Kono." Steve assured roughly.
"Come on cuz, I think we all need some rest." Chin gently pulled on her arm.
"Chin's right, go home, sleep."
"I meant you too Steve. You're not gonna do Danny any good if you end up in a bed of your own from sleep deprivation and exhaustion."
"I'm not leaving," was Steve's adamant reply.
"Steve..."
"Chin, I'm staying." Steve and Chin stared each other down.
The standoff ended with Kono making Steve swear that he would try to get some shut eye and she promised she would bring him a change of clothes the next day. After they had gone the nurse came in to run some checks on the monitors, change the IV bag and soon he found himself alone with his partner once again.
"Just you and me again Danno. Ya know, for all I complain about you talking to much I would do anything for you to open your eyes and say something." His eyes studied Danny's face, not even a twitch. "I guess I should be careful what I wish for huh?" He swallowed hard and looked down at the folder still clenched tightly in his grasp.
Taking a deep breath he gathered his strength and opened it. Nothing could have prepared him for what he found inside. The first picture was from the accident scene. it must have been taken at the top of the slope that the car rolled down. The Camaro was barely recognizable, just a twisted heap of silver metal. The second picture was closer, what appeared to be the drivers side was blocked by paramedics. The front end was crushed. As Steve got to the third picture his stomach rolled. A clear shot of Danny's limp and battered body stared up at him. The airbag in front of him had been deflated, the seatbelt looked to be gripping him as his body was trapped between twisted pieces of metal. The drivers door was crushing him while his head hung limply, chin resting against his chest. Red covered the entire side of his face, soaking his shirt. Steve couldn't help but wonder how much of the accident Danny had experienced before losing consciousness. He silently prayed he hadn't felt much. How Danny had even survived was a miracle in and of itself.
He felt tears burning his eyes and looked back up at his friend. The blood had been cleaned but the horror of the accident remained. Danny's injuries were severe and there was no guarantee that he would wake up. The guilt had been swallowing Steve up, convinced he caused the accident. Now a new feeling overwhelmed him. What if Danny never woke up? What if the last words he ever said to him were about Danny being a mistake? No, no he would wake up. He had to, there was no other option.
Shifting closer to the bed he dropped the folder on the floor and reached out, taking hold of Danny's hand tightly in his. He ignored the scrapes and bruising, knowing his friend was beyond feeling any pain at the moment anyway.
"Ok Danny, I need you to listen to me now. I need you to fight dirty here. I told Grace that you were strong and brave and that you'd be okay, don't make a liar out of me."
He paused and drew a deep breath.
"You have to know Danny, I didn't mean what I said. I never...I would be lost if you left. When I told you to transfer back to HPD? Jesus Danny, I would never want that. Saying that you were a mistake was the biggest damn lie I've ever told. Making you my partner was the only thing in my entire life I've done right. I'm sorry Danno, I'm so fucking sorry for making you think otherwise. You have to be ok so I can tell you that, cuz you need to know that...I need you to know that. Please"
His final word was barely a whisper as his emotions took hold. He let his head drop so his forehead was resting against Danny's hand.
"Please..." He quietly pleaded with his friend. And in the stillness of the room, as hot tears finally spilled over his cheeks, falling on the cool skin of the prone hand below Steve felt Danny's fingers twitch. Flexing once, twice before going still again.