Deceiver
Chapter Seven - The blade
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
He's here.
I walk in the middle of a road, darkness surrounding me. There's no one else here but me. And him. Somewhere. I hear him breathe. Hear him call my name. "Ponyboy..."
It's a whisper. It's a car.
I start running, but my feet won't move. My legs are too heavy. "Ponyboy..."
Mrs. Garcia stands before me, grins.
"You have to choose," she says. "Him- or me."
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
Soda shakes me and I jolt up. I always wake up like this, screaming, sweaty and breathless, but I never seem to get used to it. I clench my hands into fists, close my eyes to stop my stupid tears. I am so mad at him. He destroys my life. Why couldn't he just leave, like he told me he should, why does he has to be here? What does he want?
"Pony, c'mon," Soda says tiredly, clasping his hand on my shoulder. "It ain't mornin' yet."
"I don't wanna sleep," I complain, but I lie down anyway. My brother tucks his arm around me, rests it heavy on my chest. I struggle around to face him. "Soda, I can't stand this anymore," I say to him, and I know I sound whiny. Soda's eyes are sad in the dark.
"I know, honey."
"We have to do somethin'."
"We are." He yawns. "Darry's gonna speak to the fuzz again, all right? So-"
"But they can't do anythin', can they? They don't even believe us."
"Pony..."
"I know they don't. You do too." I throw his arm off me, turn around and drag the cover over my head.
"Pony..." Soda pleads again, but I don't care.
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
"I have to work overtime today," Soda says at breakfast, eyes down. "I won't be home until eight or so."
Darry gulps his coffee, and I know he's late. We all are. "Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" he says stressful.
Soda plays with his fork, unaware of the time. "Sorry. It was so much else goin' on, I forgot."
He looks up to meet my gaze, but I look away. Yesterday I told them about me seeing Henry in town. They were both really upset by that.
"Make sure you have someone to stay with you today, Pony," Darry says. "All day, okay? I wish we could stay home, but..." He trails off, dumps the rest of his coffee in the sink with a sigh.
I nod at that, but I can't help but feel angry. It's like my fear has turned to rage instead, and I stomp through the rest of the day, snap at everyone who tries to talk to me. I glare at Mrs. Thomas, ignore James, and when the day is over, I don't even wait for Dally to show up. I don't care if Henry comes. If he does- I finger on the blade in my pocket, the blade I took from Soda's drawer this morning, his old one, the forgotten one. He got a new switch blade from Steve on his sixteenth birthday in November, he won't miss this.
I can protect myself and I will. I couldn't before, I was too little then, but I'll show him. I'm not three years old anymore.
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1942
"I asked her out," Darrel says, casual.
Henry drops his cigarette, puts it out with his heel. "Yeah?" He doesn't like this.
"She said yes." Darrel can't hide his smile any longer. Henry represses a sigh, thinks that this will change everything between them.
"So you ain't comin' tonight then?" he blurts before he can stop himself.
Darrel shoots him a questioned look. "What's with tonight?"
This time Henry sighs for real. "Nothin'." And it's true. They don't have any plans. And with a girl between them, he doubt they ever will. Especially with this girl. Anne. She may be poor, may was born in the same area as them, but she is something else. She won't put up with stuff.
"I like her a lot," Darrel says, his eyes so happy. The knot in Henry's stomach tightens.
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
They wake up at noon. Sarah picks up her blouse from the floor, sticks her arms through the sleeves, buttoning it up. Henry stretches out to find the cigarettes, lights two, hands her one of them. She holds it carefully between her fingers.
"Please, Luke," she says, hating to use that name. "I don't want to stay here." She inhales with a grimace - she has never liked to smoke.
He's stubborn. "Then don't," he snorts at her, gestures at the door. "You can fuckin' leave."
Sometimes she wonders if he even cares. As much as she does.
"I can give you everything, you know," she tells him, and she means it.
He lies down on his back again, covering his eyes with an arm. "You can't."
She frowns. "Want me to prove it?"
"Sure. Prove it." His voice reveals that he doesn't believe her. He laughs mockingly at her, and sometimes, just sometimes, she wonders why she is with him. Why he's so blind, to everything. Why he is so cold.
But she can make it better. She must.
"I will."
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
Johnny grins at me over his cards, his poker face all readable, like mine. I'm happy Soda and Steve aren't here, they would have teased us about our bad experience in playing the game. But at least we're having fun.
"Be nice," I try to trick him. "It's my last cigarettes." I drop them on the floor between us, sure of that I have better cards. Three kings.
Johnny opens his mouth to answer me, but at the same time, there's a knock on the door. It startles me a bit, and Johnny's eyes widen, his grin disappears.
"Who's comin'?" he asks me. I scan the room, to make sure it's neat.
"Maybe its one of the unannounced visits from Mrs. Garcia," I whisper to him, even if I think it's kind of early for that. But you never know with the state. Johnny collects the little pile between us while I rise and walk over the floor. Before I open up, I throw a glance over my shoulder, to make sure Johnny has cleaned up every evidence of smokes and game.
But it's not Mrs. Garcia. I have never seen the woman on the other side before.
She smiles at me. "Hello. Are you Ponyboy Curtis?"
I nod mutely, wondering what's going on.
"Can I come inside?"
"Um," I say, throwing a glance backwards again. Johnny has gotten up on his feet too, looking wary. "I don't know who you are."
"I'm from the state, Ponyboy."
It almost takes the breath out of me. I get a nervous feeling, wondering why she's here, wishing badly for my brothers to come home. But they both will be home late today.
"O-okay," I stutter, glancing at Johnny again.
"Can you please let me in?" Her tone is more serious this time, and I take a step back, moving out of her way with a sinking heart. She takes a step over the threshold, and I close the door, standing awkwardly behind her as she looks over the room. She frowns when her gaze lands on Johnny.
"You are not one of the Curtis brothers, are you?"
He shakes his head, and she turns to me again. "Where are they? Are they home?"
It's pointless to lie. "Um, no. They're at work."
"Both of them?"
I feel really nervous about the questions. "Yeah."
"When will they be home again?"
I bite my lip. "They... um, they will be home at dinner." It's true, right? She doesn't have to know that we will eat at eight tonight.
"I see." She seems pleased about it, and I relax a bit. But only for a second. "Well, I have some news for you. Your custody case will be brought up by court next week, and meanwhile, you will have to come with me."
At first, her words doesn't make sense to me. I can only stare at her. "What?"
She repeats, and this time they hit me like punches in my gut, and it feels like I fall, faster and faster. I have to reach out and put a hand to the wall to steady myself.
"What?" I say again. "But - no. No. I... what custody case? Darry has the custody, he-"
She smiles sadly at me. "Not anymore. I'm sorry, but you have to go and pack a bag."
I don't believe this. I shake my head to clear it, swallowing hard, but then I narrow my eyes at her. "Where's Mrs. Garcia?" I ask her harshly. "I don't even know you!"
"Mrs. Garcia? Oh. Yes, Mrs. Garcia. Of course." She laughs softly for herself. "Yes. She didn't handle your case in the right way, so they had to let her go."
My head is spinning even more. I feel the headache come, and put a hand to my temple. I can't handle this. I need Soda. I turn my head. "Johnny, please go get Soda," I plead him.
He hesitates, and I guess he doesn't want to leave me alone. I know Darry's strict orders too. But the woman next to me grabs my arm.
"We don't have the time to wait for your brother. You have two options, Ponyboy. Either you cooperate with me and come with me now, and then I can almost promise you that your brother will get the custody back next week." Her fingers dig into my arm. "Or," she says, "you fight this, and the judge will see to it in a very bad way. They will probably send you to a foster home outside of the state, and then you never will see your brothers again. The choice is up to you."
I close my eyes, feeling the tears burn behind them. I don't know what to do. I refuse to go with her. I will run away. I will -
"Think of your brothers, Ponyboy. What would they think if they knew you disobey the state? I'm sure they trust you to do the right thing."
"They, they know about this?" I sniff, wiping my eyes with my other arm since she still holds me in a tight grip.
She smirks. "Of course they know. I told them you would call them as soon as we come to the boys home. They are very understanding about the situation."
I shake my head fiercely. "No!" I almost shout at her. "Soda wouldn't be understanding! He would be home if - he would come home!"
She looks a bit surprised by this, but then she catches herself. "Oh. Okay, we didn't call Soda. We talked to your other brother, Darrel. He said we could come and pick you up at home."
I can only stare at her, and the tears fall from my eyes by now. I don't believe her. Darry wouldn't do this. He wouldn't, right?
I think of his life some months ago. His plans of working hard to go to college next semester. His football scholarship. I'm the one stopping him from living his dream. I'm a burden, I know I am.
"Pony..." I hear Johnny say behind me. I sniff again.
"He... doesn't he want the custody?" I whisper. "He wants me to go with you?"
Her grip loosens up and she pats my arm instead. "Yes. He does want custody, but he also want you to come with me without a fight. Like I told you, if you cooperate with me, this will be over in a few days, and you will be back with your brothers again. I promise you."
I curl my arms around my body, hanging my head. I almost can't think, I don't know what to do. But the thought of being taken away from Tulsa, even from Oklahoma if I fight, is worse than the thought of sleeping in a boys home for a couple of days. I can do that, right? For Soda's sake. He will never allow Darry to drop the custody. If I do as they say, they must let me stay with him.
"Wh- when do we go to court? How l-long will I be staying at the boys home?"
"Oh, not long at all," she says vaguely. "Please, pack a bag with clothes for a few days, okay? But you need to hurry up."
I nod shortly and turn around, heading for my room. When I walk past Johnny, he steps up beside me, follows me. His eyes are black.
"Are you sure?" he says distressed. "Pony, this ain't right."
I open the door, grab my backpack from the floor and pick out my books. I place them on the bed, and when the bag is empty, I throw in some clothes, not even looking at them. I hope they are mine and not Soda's. Or maybe I want them to be his.
"I have to go with her," I snap. "You heard her Johnny, they will send me out of the state if I don't."
"Yeah, but," Johnny starts again, sitting down on the bed. "I don't think you should go with her. C'mon, we can sneak out through the back door or somethin'."
I drop my bag, fold my arms and glare at him. "No, Johnny. Don't you listen to me? Darry knows this happens, but he doesn't even care to come home to stop it!"
"Ponyboy," he tries again, but I bend down, pick up the bag again and finish my job. I will do as they say and then they have to give him the custody back. He can't deny the custody in court because Soda won't let that happen. Maybe Darry wants me to run away so he can blame me for losing later. I bet that's what he plans. He doesn't want me.
"Bye, Johnny," I say to my friend, and then I leave him in my room.
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1944
He's in deep shit, he knows it. He parks his car, climbs out to go and find Darrel. He's the only one he can trust.
He finds him smoking against the wall, squinting against the spring sun. "Darrel!"
He shades his eyes with one hand, grins. "Hey, Henry."
It's no time for small talk. Henry grabs his friend's arm, drags him along, out of range.
"What's the matter?"
Henry looks around, but they are alone. "I need your help. I need to do some shit, fix some money. Something bigger this time."
"Bigger?"
If he can speak even lower, he does it now. "Robbery."
Darrel shakes his head in disbelief. "You're kiddin' me, right? You'll get caught, Henry. You have to stop with this shit now."
"It's the last time, promise-"
"You always says it's the last time. You always says it's just a couple of dollars. It's gettin' serious."
"You have to help me. We won't get caught if you help me."
Darrel looks to be uneasy, shifts his weight from foot to foot. "I can't, Henry. Anne-"
"Shut the fuck up! I have helped you, Darrel! Without my money you wouldn't have been able to ask her out in the first place, you know that. Fuck, my money has support you the last years! I have let you chicken out because you're my best friend, Darrel, and now, just because you've gotten a job, you think you can just ditch me? After all I've done for you? You wouldn't have anything without me, and you know it!"
Darrel sighs. It's true.
"Okay," he says. "Maybe I can help you. But it's the last time, okay? I don't want to do illegal stuff anymore."
xXx
Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1966
"You can sit in the passenger seat," she says to me, and I walk around the front of the car to the other side. I throw a glance at our house - Johnny stands on the porch, looking at me. Without a word I jerk the door open and climb in. I lock my seat belt and fold my arms, glare through the windshield. I can't believe this is happening, and I'm so angry at Darry for letting it. It hurts me so much that he knows, but made me face this alone. He couldn't even leave work to say goodbye, or try to convince them to let me stay at home until court.
He doesn't want me. I know that.
"Ponyboy? Are you all right?"
No. I'm not. But I just grunt out that I'm fine.
She steers out onto our street, and I don't look back.
"Don't worry, sweetie," she says. "It will be fine, I promise." She smiles. "I think I forgot to introduce myself, right? I'm Sarah. Sarah Wells."
I look out through the window. I don't care.
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