You all get a huge monster chapter today with a lot of new stuff :) You're welcome!

Plus, I've got another song of the day for you, And When I Die by The Heavy. Ch-check it out!

Thanks to my beta dumbrat!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

I came back to the house feeling elated. I could make my trip back. It was going to take some time, but I finally had a way.

Once I put away groceries—I had found a Thriftway after I had left the Newtons'—I went straight upstairs to do some research. After checking airline prices and carefully doing the math, I figured out it would take me about four weeks give or take to earn the money I needed for a one way ticket— plus however much I would need for a taxi.

I leaned forward and lay my cheek against the desk. Four long weeks. It seemed like an impossibly long time to wait, but it was the only way.

I picked up one of the books that I had stacked up on the floor. For Whom the Bell Tolls. I flipped through the pages, noting where it had been dog eared and bent back at the spine. I had never read it, but someone else obviously had.

Shame and guilt flooded my stomach. This book…these things, this life…it belonged to someone. Where was the real Bella? Was she lost somewhere? Stuck and stranded somewhere like I was? I had a wild thought of her sitting in my room, just as I was sitting in hers, my mom and friends all calling her Jamie, before I shoved it away.

This was madness, and none of it was fair.

I found myself avoiding Charlie for the rest of the weekend. Every time I saw him, the first thing that always sprung into my head was my own parents. It was getting to the point where I would feel anxious and upset just by looking at him.

It was easy on Saturday since he got a call first thing in the morning and had to go to work. He didn't get back to the house until late at night. When I heard him come back, I made sure I was in bed and pretending to be asleep by the time he opened the bedroom door to check on me.

When I didn't come downstairs by late Sunday morning, he came up and knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said, not looking up from the textbook I had open on my lap.

"Hey," I heard him say as he opened the door. "Everything okay? Are you feeling sick again?"

"No I'm fine," I answered, my eyes glued to the page. I pretended to scribble into a notebook. "Just catching up on the school I missed."

"Oh. Okay," he said awkwardly. "Sorry to bother you; I'll leave you to it."

I heard the latch click. Looking up at the closed door, I felt a pang of regret. Time, I told myself, was all I needed.

I picked up For Whom the Bell Tolls from the pile of fake schoolwork I had surrounded myself with. With nothing else to do, I flipped open to page one.

Hours later and more than two thirds of the way through the book, I heard another knock at the door.

Charlie poked his head in. "Sorry to interrupt Bells. Phone for you downstairs."

I raised my eyebrow questioningly as I bookmarked my page, but by the time I looked up Charlie had already headed back downstairs.

I went into the kitchen and picked the phone up from where it sat on its side on the counter.

"Hello?"

A woman immediately answered, talking almost faster than I could follow. "Bella! There you are! I sent you five emails, why haven't you answered me? I was so worried about you."

The familiar voice thrummed through my ear and I tried to place where I had heard her before.

"…I thought something might have happened! You promised you would write me as soon as you got there and it's been days—"

My brain clicked and my voice caught in my throat when I realized who it was.

"Ren—" I stopped myself. "I'm fine." I carefully decided what to say. Renée knew her daughter really well and I definitely wasn't her. "I'm sorry I didn't write you back. My..uh…email address got hacked. I had to delete it."

"Please, Bella. Make yourself a new one; I really need to hear from you. I miss you."

"I'll get it set up tonight."

"Are you alright sweetheart? You sound upset," she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," I choked out. "Do I really sound different to you?" I asked, wishing the incident that had occurred the first time I talked to her had been a fluke.

"You sound the same, honey," she said with some concern, "You just sound like something is wrong. You're worrying me. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure," I said steadily, "I…I just missed you is all."

Her voice softened. "I miss you too sweetheart."

There was a pause and I heard a man's voice in the background. "Okay, give me one second," I heard Renée answer him.

"Bella? I have to go sweetie," she said to me reluctantly. "Phil says we're late for out dinner reservation. "

"It's alright," I answered. "Have a good time with Phil."

"Oh and before I forget, did you call me the other day?" she asked.

"N—no," I choked out. "Why do you ask?"

"I got the strangest phone call…I could have sworn it was you," she said pensively. "Oh well, I guess it was just one of those things…"

I heard the man's voice again.

"I guess I really need to go, Phil's getting impatient with me," she laughed girlishly.

"Okay," I said, smiling despite myself. "Have fun."

"I will," she laughed. "And don't forget to write me back once you've gotten your email set up. I want to hear all about your new school."

"I'll do it tonight, I promise."

"Thank you, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too," I responded automatically. I suddenly felt a wave of nausea when I realized what I'd said. I put the phone back on its hook and walked quickly out of the kitchen.

Charlie had sat down to watch football on the couch while I was on the phone. "Is everything okay?" he asked, looking at me over the back of the couch.

"Everything's fine," I lied. "If it's okay with you, I'll just grab leftovers for dinner when I get a chance later. I still have a lot of studying to do."

"That's fine," he said. "I'll be here if you need me."

I nodded and went back upstairs. I closed the door and sat down on the bed to try and finish the book, but after twenty minutes I realized it wouldn't be as easy to distract myself as it had been earlier.

The last bits of my conversation with Renée kept repeating through my head. I love you she had said, andI had answered. I told her I love you too. The response had been unconscious and I hadn't thought much of it before I said it, but now I was left feeling unsettled about the whole thing.

I tried again to read the book and just found myself rereading the same line over and over. My eyes drifted shut as the repetition of it lulled me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to a knock at the door. I was still fully dressed with Hemingway open across my chest.

"Come in," I said groggily.

Charlie looked in. "Morning. You have school today; up and at'em."

"I'm up," I said, sitting up and stretching out my cramped muscles. "What time is it?"

"A quarter 'til," he answered. "I'm heading in to work, but I wanted to make sure you were up and let you know there's coffee in left the pot before I left."

"Okay, thanks."

He shifted from foot to foot for a few seconds before he turned around and walked out. I listened to him walk downstairs and heard the front door open and close.

After I heard him start up the car and drive away, I got out of bed and looked out the window. The world was so white with snow it was almost blinding. My first time in the snow, I thought distractedly.

After I picked out a pair of jeans and a black sweater I got showered and ready before heading downstairs. Today was the first day of a long four weeks. I can do this, I told myself, nothing to it. Today I would make by first step by starting work at the Newtons'.

I drove carefully to school, a little nervous about the snow seeing how I'd never driven in it before, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

I saw the silver Volvo almost the second I pulled into the school. Despite myself, I had almost forgotten all about the Cullens. My heart skipped a beat when I thought about seeing them again.

The bell rang as I locked the doors to the truck. I couldn't help but bend down and smush a small handful of snow into my first snowball. I grinned and lobbed it up in the air, watching it fall and splatter by my feet. Rubbing my now numb fingers off on my jeans, I headed off to my first class.

The morning dragged on and on, but I made myself pay attention in each of my classes. I made a list in my head. Read Wuthering Heights for English, take notes for chapters twelve and thirteen for government, finish fifteen problems for trig, learn the past tense forms of a list of verbs for Spanish.

I had to finish all of that, plus each of the assignments I had missed the week before. I was determined not to draw attention to myself and I knew that completing all my assignments on time and not talking in class would keep me off most of the teachers' radar.

By the time fourth period ended, I was tired and overwhelmed.

Jessica walked with me to the cafeteria, keeping up a stream of chatter that I had a hard time paying attention to.

"And then she told me that…"

I groaned inwardly as she started in on some girl who had apparently bought the same jacket as her. I made myself smile politely, but inwardly I decided it didn't seem fair for her to blame the girl, Ashley, I remembered suddenly, for it, when there were only three some-odd places to shop for clothes.

"Isabella, your…"

I tripped over my feet, landing awkwardly on my knees. I threw my hands out, barely saving myself from falling into a good-sized snow pile.

"…shoelace is untied." Jessica sniggered quietly.

"Shoot," I said. Two wet spots had already formed on my jeans. I shifted into a crouch so I couldn't do anymore damage.

As my cold fingers fumbled with the laces, I could hear her Jessica shift her feet impatiently.

"You go on," I said. "I'll meet you inside."

"Okay," she answered gratefully. "I'll hold you a spot in the line." Then she turned and walked inside without looking back.

As I stood up and started walking inside, I felt someone grab my shoulder. Surprised, I turned around and found that it was Mike who had stopped me.

"Are you okay?" he said, a little out of breath, but still smiling. "I saw you fall."

My face turned bright red. "I'm fine. It's my own fault for not paying attention."

He grinned sympathetically. "So my mom said you came by the shop and asked for a job. Are you really going to work for us?"

"That's the plan," I said. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not," he said beaming. "I think it's great! When do you start?"

"Today actually."

"Awesome," he said enthusiastically. "I'll find you after school and you can follow me over."

"Sounds great, Mike," I said politely.

He opened the cafeteria door and held it open for me as I walked through. We walked inside and Mike shrugged off his jacket. "So, now that we're going to spend some more time together, I was wondering if maybe you might want to…"

As he talked, without really thinking about it, I looked over to the table in the corner, not sure what I would find. They were all there. Edward had come back. I tried to keep my face expressionless.

"Isabella?" Oops, I forgot about Mike.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

For whatever reason, he turned beet red. "No, nothing. Never mind."

I weaved through the other students and followed him over to where Jessica stood in line, momentarily distracted.

My stomach was fluttering frantically and I fought the urge to turn around and stare at the Cullen table. I couldn't imagine eating anything so I grabbed a soda.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jessica asked me.

"Not particularly."

I paid for my drink and followed Jessica over to a table that was about half full.

Mike asked me twice, with unnecessary concern, if I was okay. As we walked up, I recognized Eric and I made my guesses at who some of the others might be. When Mike quickly named off each person, I made a point to memorize the faces that went with Angela, Lauren, and Ben.

"We've already met," Eric said with a smile. He shifted the empty chair next to him. "Have a seat."

Mike glared at him as I sat down, taking the seat on my other side.

"Do you like not have any money to buy lunch?" Lauren asked with a smirk as I sat down.

"No, I'm good. Just not that hungry" I answered, totally bewildered by her hostility.

She opened her mouth to say something back, but Ben cut her off. I could've kissed him.

"Where were you last week?" he said. "You started on Wednesday didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. I stayed home sick, just feeling a bit under the weather."

"Bummer," he said. "Being sick sucks."

"Yes, it does," I agreed.

Thankfully, the Jessica turned the conversation to herself and I was left to my own thoughts.

A bit later, I remembered with a smile the part from the book when Bella looks over at the Cullen table right after Alice chucks a snowball into Emmett's face.

Still smiling, I purposefully made a decision to look over at the Cullen table. I took a deep breath and looked up. Emmett's hair was flecked with snow as he shook his head at Rosalie and Alice, getting them wet with the melted ice. Edward and Jasper laughed as Alice hid behind a cafeteria tray. I grinned as I watched them all laughing and smiling at each other.

Jessica's voice cut through my thoughts. "Isabella, what are you staring at?"

My smiled froze in place as Edward looked over to our table, his eyes quickly flickering over Jessica before landing on me. His eyes were really light today, and I gave myself a few second to look before I tore my eyes away and stared at my hands.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica whispered to me, giggling.

"Just ignore him. Please."

"Why. Did something happen between you two?" She didn't try to hide her doubt.

"No. Please, just leave him be."

"He's still staring," she said.

"Then don't stare back!"

"Jeez, fine!"

When the bell rang for the end of lunch, I collected my things and got up to follow Mike outside. I had a hard time listening to him complain about the snow melting as we walked. I wondered hopefully if Edward would talk to me in Biology.

The minute I thought it made me wonder if I had any right to. I knew, better than anyone in our class, how easy it would be to become friends with him if he let me. I realized suddenly that I did want to be his friend; more than anyone else in Forks. On the other hand, I also knew how hard it would be to become his friend and then watch him leave.

Even though he had come back, I didn't know how resolved he was to stay. I was afraid of what it would be like to just get a glimpse of who he was and then never seeing him again. I figured it would be easier to see if he actually was going to stay before I tried to befriend him. Coward, a little voice in the back of my head taunted. I pushed it aside as I walked up to the door of Biology.

When Mike and I got inside, I sat down and slid my seat as far away as I could from where Edward was going to be in a few seconds. No need to make things harder than they already were. I opened my notebook and took my time copying 'Stages of Mitosis' onto the top of the page, doing my best to not watch the door.

I saw him come in out of the corner of my eye, and I tried my hardest to ignore him. When I heard the chair next to mine being pulled out and scraped along the floor, my heart skipped a beat.

I glanced up and saw Edward sitting down, taking care to position his chair as far away from mine as possible. He smiled at me. I was shocked by the brilliance of it, but the light circles under his eyes were a shadow that reminded me of the danger.

"Hello," His voice startled me; in that one word I heard how almost laughably inhuman it sounded. Really? How did no one notice something was up with these guys?

"My name is Edward Cullen. I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week." I fought the urge to snort. He was too busy trying to not kill me last week to bother introducing himself.

"Hi," I said. Be polite, but don't be too friendly, I reminded myself.

He smiled at me again, and my breath caught. "Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

I hesitated, "Oh, ummm…"

"Isabella!" Mike came over to our table. "I forgot. You dropped this in the cafeteria." He handed me a pen.

"Thanks," I answered, and I was spared from answering.

Mr. Banner chose that moment to start class so I turned my attention to the front and Mike returned to his seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward staring at me.

"Today's lab will focus on the stages of mitosis. Each of you and your partner will look at onion root cells on slides that I will pass out. You will need to identify which stage is occurring on each one. As soon as you receive your slides, you may begin. Good luck."

As soon as Mr. Banner finished, a babble of voices returned to the room.

"You still haven't told me your name."

I looked over to Edward who was staring at me intently. I knew he knew what my name was. What was he doing?

"Um…Bella, I guess."

Mr. Banner came by our table and dropped off our slides. Each one was labeled with a little number from one to five in the corner. I pulled out the top one and slid it into place.

"You guess?" He was raising his eyebrows at me.

"No…I mean yes…I mean…," I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath to pull myself together.

I opened my eyes. "No, not a guess. I'm Bella, nice to meet you." I stuck my hand out without really thinking about it. I tried to jerk my hand back, but, to my surprise, Edward caught it. His hand was icy cold and rock hard.

He shook mine gently, "It's nice to meet you too."

My breath caught in my throat, I had no idea what to say. Edward released my hand and I jerked it into my lap, embarrassed.

"We should get started," I said, avoiding looking at him.

I glanced through the eyepiece.

"Prophase," I said. "You can check it if you'd like."

"Thank you."

I glanced over at him and he was smiling lightly as he looked in the microscope, but I thought I saw a bit of frustration there too.

"Prophase," he agreed, deftly switching the slides. I wrote our answer into the worksheet as he glanced back into the microscope for the next slide.

Without really thinking, I wrote 'anaphase' into the next space. Even though I had never done the lab before in my life, I knew all the answers by heart. I covered the writing quickly with my hand as he looked up, hoping didn't notice my slip-up.

"Anaphase."

I quickly scribbled in the answer again over my own writing. He replaced the slide again and passed it to me to look at.

We finished the lab quickly. Even though I didn't check his work, he checked mine.

I couldn't help but glance over at him we finished, and I noticed he still wasn't breathing.

We sat in silence for a few seconds. I looked around the room and saw my classmates struggling. Mike kept shooting unfriendly glances over at Edward that made me feel annoyed and guilty; I figured his thoughts weren't being all that nice either. I looked over at Edward, and his eyes flashed up to meet mine. I blushed, annoyed at myself for being caught staring.

"Sorry about that," I said quietly. "I don't know what's gotten in to him."

He looked mildly confused for a second, and then surprised when he figured out what I meant.

"What—" the question he wanted to ask was obvious, but thankfully he was interrupted by Mr. Banner again when he came over to see why we weren't working.

"So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" he asked after glancing over our paper.

"Bella," Edward corrected, looking away from me. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mr. Banner looked over at me at that point and I was kind of insulted by the skeptical look on his face.

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked.

"No. I read it in the book." No need to tell him which book.

The skepticism was obvious on Mr. Banner's face. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"I guess so."

"Well," he said, "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." I watched him as he walked away, muttering under his breath.

We sat in silence for about a minute after he left, and then I heard Edward ask, "It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?"

"I guess so," I answered, avoiding looking at him. "I've never been around snow much before."

"Forks must be very different than you're used to then."

"You have no idea," I muttered darkly, glancing away.

I looked up when he didn't say anything and saw that he was staring at me again. Uncomfortable with the intensity of it, I looked away.

"Why did you move here?" he asked abruptly.

The question startled me. I should have remembered he was going to ask but it had slipped my mind. I had no idea what to say. I made the mistake of looking up again. His eyes were gentler now. They looked kind and understanding, persuasive.

"It's a long story. I really don't want to get into it," I said.

"We have time. Tell me."

"I can't, sorry."

Edward's eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "Bella Swan," he said, "you are very stubborn."

"Tell me. Please." His voice turned softer and he stared right into my eyes.

"My mother got remarried." He opened his mouth to cut me off but I shook my head. I was going to tell the story all at once and be done with it. "Not that I don't him or they don't want me around or anything it's just he plays baseball for a living, only minor league, but enough that he travels a lot. I came to Forks so my mom didn't have to choose between staying at home with me and being with him."

It was easier than the truth and I couldn't come up with anything else quick enough. He had listened to my rant, eyebrows raised. Now he was frowning. "But now you're unhappy."

"Apparently life's not fair." I bent down and doodled on the corner of my open notebook.

"I believe I have heard that before." I could tell he was frowning again.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding amused, "Am I bothering you?"

I looked up at him quickly, surprised that's how I was coming across. "No! Not at all! You're really nice…it's just...I'm not sure what to say to you, Edward." I fought the urge to put a hand over my mouth to take it back and instead bit my lip.

Just then Mr. Banner called for attention so I faced the front, fighting the blush I could feel spreading across my cheeks.

Where did that come from? I shouldn't have said anything. We didn't speak for the rest of class, and he bolted out the door the second the bell rang. Mike instantly came over and picked up my books for me.

"Thanks, but I got it," I said, taking them back.

He shrugged. "That was awful. They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."

"It's not so hard if you read the material ahead of time, Mike" I answered, jabbing him teasingly in the side with my elbow.

He smiled sheepishly, and I smiled at him in return.

"Cullen seemed friendly enough today," he commented as we walked towards the gym. I knew he was remembering how hostile Edward had been on my first day, and I knew he wasn't pleased that that had changed.

"Yeah," I said, wanting to defend him. "He's a pretty nice guy. You didn't have to glare at him the whole time."

He had the good grace to look guilty. By the time we split up to go into the locker rooms though he was back to his normal cheerful self. I got to dress out for the first time, and I actually had fun with the volleyball game. Mike made it all the better; he kept covering for me and feeding me the ball.

After class, we agreed to meet over at the store instead so he could go home and change.

As I walked through the parking lot when class was over, I tried not to look over to the Volvo.

I was so focused on not looking, that I wasn't watching where I was going. I stepped into a giant puddle, water soaking through my boots and into my sock. I muttered a curse under my breath as I opened the door to the truck, then laughed to myself. Smooth, really smooth.

I totally deserved it. I couldn't help looking over at Edward and saw he was smiling. Despite my wet pant leg, I was glad he could still look at me and smile, even if I was making an idiot of myself. I smiled back and waved.

I got into the front seat of my car, relaxing as I turned up the heat as high as it could possibly go. I carefully pulled out of my spot and turned out towards the main street. I took the chance to look in my rearview mirror to catch a last glimpse of Edward for the day, and saw him watching my car as it drove away.

The parking lot to the Newton's camping store was nearly full when I pulled in. Mrs. Newton was helping a customer when I came in. She smiled and nodded at me.

When she had directed them over to a selection of outdoor sleeping bags, she came over to meet me.

"Hello, Bella!" she said, looking a bit harangued. "We're swamped right now and I don't think I'll have the time to train you today. I'm so sorry. Could you come back tomorrow?"

My heart dropped. "Of course."

"Thank you!" she said. "Hold on, I have something for you." She went behind the register and pulled out a clipped bunch of paper. "Fill these out and have your dad sign the last one. We can get started right away tomorrow."

I tried to smile. "Sounds great, Mrs. Newton. I'll see you tomorrow."

Another customer caught her attention so she smiled apologetically and hurried off.

I went back to the car and tried not to feel too disappointed. It was only one day; it wouldn't make that big of a difference.

I did my schoolwork in the living room when I got home. I still had trouble being around Charlie when he came back to the house. If he noticed anything, he didn't say so. We had pizza again for dinner and afterwards I excused myself and went upstairs.

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