A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter Seven: Rendition

It was the silence that was slowly but steadily driving Tony crazy. He should have been used to it by now, but somehow it hadn't been quite that oppressing than over those last couple of days. He tried his best to break that silence as best as he could but he was tired of hearing his own voice when all he wanted to hear was Jethro's. Learning sign language and being able to communicate with him on a basic level had been a relief, but it just wasn't the same and little did it help to fill the emptiness inside of Tony. He had tried to talk to Abby about it but she didn't know how to console him either. He'll just have to wait for things to change, he knew that, too, but his patience was wearing thin these days. He had waited for so long now that it felt rather stupid to lose to impatience now when Jethro was doing so remarkably better. And yet he simply couldn't help it. He wasn't even sure whether he really remembered how Gibbs' voice had sounded like anymore and it freaked him out. It was like the man he visited every single day, while having regained most of his mobility again and showing signs of his old traits, was only an echo of his former self. Tony had felt bad about thinking like that until he realized that he was an echo of his own self, too. He'd be deliriously happy one day just to be sick at heart the next and he had no idea how to get out of these funks. He didn't know whether he was actually depressed or not and he wouldn't let himself think too much about it. It would all go away once all of the other stuff would be over, too, he was sure about that. But only god knew when that would be.

Jethro had made progress in almost all areas except for the talking part and yet it didn't seem enough – not for Tony who felt himself get more restless with any day and not for Gibbs himself, either. He was able to eat on his own again, as his hands weren't all that shaky anymore and he had even learned how to write down his own name. He was also able to walk very short distances alone with only the help of the cane. His left leg still wasn't very cooperative and would probably never regain all its former strength, but that was a price that both Tony and Gibbs would gladly pay in exchange of being alive. And Tony was thankful for all of that, he really was, but it was the echoes of their former life that threatened to eat him up alive, causing Gibbs to repeatedly ask him if he was alright. He always answered with a fake smile and a 'yes' because he was fine after all. It wasn't him who had to endure therapy session after therapy session. He had no clue whether or not Gibbs really bought it, but he never followed up on his inquiry and that was enough for Tony to be able to compose himself every time he would step into the other man's room and be as positive as he could.

He might be fooling Gibbs to a certain degree, but he certainly wasn't able to fool his team. Ziva and McGee had frequently tried to distract him, asking him out for a game of pool or a movie, but he had always declined. He felt bad enough growing impatient with Gibbs; he wouldn't let him stay alone at the hospital more than strictly necessary. McGee and Ziva had understood, but Tony could see the concern in their eyes and the looks they shared whenever they thought he wasn't looking their way. Abby and Ducky, in a way, were even worse. While the other two did at least pretend to want to go out for other reasons than to cheer him up, the ME and the Goth would bluntly ask him if he was alright and whether they could help him. He had almost said yes, but then he realized that there was no way that they actually could help. They couldn't make Jethro remember more than the fragments he did recall and they couldn't miraculously make him talk, either. So he just shook his head and claimed that he was okay and could handle the situation just fine.

Sometimes he was even able to fool himself into believing that he was okay, that he was not internally falling apart over this. He had put all his energy into being there for Gibbs. He didn't regret one bit of it, not by a long shot, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't hindering the other guy from making more progress. What if his endless stories and endless photos and his hovering over the other man did more bad than good? And what if he really did lose himself over it as Jackson had warned him such a long time ago? But he had come to realize that it simply didn't matter. He couldn't help himself. He wouldn't not come to visit the guy every day, he wouldn't not tell him about their time together and he wouldn't not let himself down in giving in to his sheer exhaustion. It was as simple as that.

.

It was a day after Gibbs and Tony had taken a slow walk around the park outside the hospital for the first time that the younger man was called into the director's office first thing in the morning. Casting a rather fearful glance at both Ziva and McGee, who just shrugged, Tony slowly made his way upstairs, thinking about what he had done wrong this time. He came up empty, though. But that made the sick sensation in his stomach even worse.

"Come on in, DiNozzo," Vance's voice traveled through the door as Tony knocked.

"You wanted to talk to me, Director?" Tony asked as he sat down in front of the other man's desk.

"Indeed, I did, Agent DiNozzo," Vance replied with a slight smile on his lips, which in return caused Tony to calm down a bit. "How is Gibbs doing these days?"

"Uh," Tony answered hesitatingly and unsure. "He's fine mostly. He's stable, there have been no setbacks to speak of and he's managed to walk short distances by now."

"That's good to hear," the director answered, still smiling at him. "Do you think I could drop by some time?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "It's not like he will recognize you or anything, but I'm sure he'd appreciate seeing something else than my face all day long."

Letting out a laugh, Vance nodded again before he averted his gaze from Tony to look at a file on his desk instead and Tony realized that it was his.

"Do you like cold cases, DiNozzo?" the older man finally continued to talk.

"Uh," Tony once again wasn't quite sure how to answer it, so he decided to go with the truth for once. "They're all right. They will never live up to the thrill of a new one, but I do like the satisfaction to be able to give some families closure after so many years when we solve one."

"So, you're saying, you do miss the hot cases?"

"Yeah, I mean I think so," Tony slowly replied, not sure what Vance was zeroing in on.

"Okay. The thing is, DiNozzo," Vance kept on talking, his eyes resting on Tony once again. "I'd like you to consider being the full-time lead of your team and work on hot cases again. Please let me finish first," he hurried to say when Tony had opened his mouth to contradict him. "This does not mean that I think Gibbs won't be coming back or anything. But right now I need a full team on those cases and as much as I appreciate the work Agent Balboa's team has done these last couple of months, we are missing a second MCRT team and the agency could certainly use your eyes out there again. You wouldn't be assigned a new team member because I know you and Agents David and McGee would never allow it, but think about the possibility to go back into the field, will you? You have a week to decide what to do and let me assure that it won't be a set-back in your career if you decide to stay on the cold cases. I understand your situation, DiNozzo."

Tony stared at him for a few moments, feeling his heart beat furiously in his chest. He knew that he should take the week to decide about it, knew that he should talk to Ziva and Tim about it and he knew that he should check with Gibbs first and still he heard himself reply only after a few more seconds.

"We'll do it."

"Sorry?" Vance replied, obviously taken aback by the quick answer.

"We'll do it," Tony repeated, feeling a smile spread on his face. "I want to do it."

"Don't you want to talk with your folks first?"

"No, ultimately it's my decision to make. Ziva and McGee will appreciate it because they are field agents after all and they miss it, even if they don't say it out loud. As for Gibbs," Tony paused for a moment, feeling something lock into place inside of him. "I have done everything I could and will continue to do so, but I think Gibbs would want me to go out there again, catch the bad guys because that it what he was… is all about. So, I've made my decision, we'll do it."

"Okay, then," Vance said as he stood up and reached out his hand to shake Tony's. "You'll be back in business as of Monday, then. Appreciate it."

"Me too," Tony replied quietly, knowing that despite his dislike for the guy, he had helped him out tremendously over the last weeks and months. "Thanks."

"It's fine, Tony," the director just answered and nodded at him.

Tony did the same and then left the office to tell Ziva and McGee about it all.

.

Abby had strictly been against them going out into the field again because she didn't like them to be in danger or because Tony was abandoning Gibbs. She wouldn't tell, but Tony had the suspicion that it was the latter. He hadn't let himself be knocked off course, though, because McGee and Ziva had almost been ecstatic about going out there again. He knew that he had made the right decision. Even Gibbs had simply nodded his understanding and had waved off Tony's concern of leaving him alone too much. Deep down, Tony liked to think that Gibbs actually did remember what it felt like rushing after a perp, what it felt like bringing a murderer down and that he therefore understood Tony's decision. At least, he hadn't been mad at him, had only patted his shoulder and given him a soft smile that had somehow caused something in Tony's stomach to flutter. Maybe it was alright with him and maybe he knew that Tony had slowly been going crazy and needed the distraction. Or perhaps he wondered if a little break from the younger man would do his progress some good, too. Whatever the reasons for his acceptance had been, Tony was glad that he had given his okay. It wasn't like he wanted to get away from the grayness of the hospital and from Gibbs, but he knew that he had to in order to find his inner equilibrium again. Gibbs, somehow, had maybe realized it, too, and had let him do it and Tony was beyond thankful for that.

.

Tony was still visiting Gibbs every night and every time he could get away from the office. Whenever he couldn't, he found himself missing the other guy again. He constantly called him and talked to him, even though he didn't get more than a snort or a grunt in return, but sometimes it was even enough to only hear him breathing on the other end.

The cases, too, had helped him to get out of his headspace for the most part. He wasn't that moody anymore and he wasn't brooding over every little step he would take. Leading the team had come just as natural as it had all those years previously during Gibbs' sabbatical to Mexico, with the only difference that this time McGee and Ziva actually followed without any complaint at all. Tony had told Gibbs about it, too, and the older man had nodded, his eyes somehow lighting up with something that the younger man couldn't identify and the older guy didn't comment – or rather sign – on. He had signed to him, however, that he was proud of him as Tony had told him about their latest case three weeks into his return. Tony had stared at him for what must have been a really long time and for once Gibbs hadn't flinched or looked away from him, instead had steadily looked right back into Tony's eyes. The younger man had had no clue what it had meant, but he had had trouble holding back his tears because Gibbs never or rarely used to tell him that he was proud and even though, this Gibbs was just an echo of the old version, it was somehow enough for Tony to feel the warmth spread inside of him.

.

Tony tiredly rubbed his eyes as he opened the door to Jethro's room after an exhausting six-day-chase of the murderer of a retired lieutenant early on a Friday afternoon. Secretly, he wished that he could just drop down onto the couch in their living room and sleep for three days straight, but he would never do that. Visiting Gibbs was far more important than sleep, especially when he hadn't seen the guy in almost a week. Remorse had made itself perceivably a couple of times, but Abby as well as Palmer and Ducky had assured him that Gibbs had claimed it was all well when they had visited him that week. Slightly pacified by that, Tony entered the room and then felt his heart miss a beat when the bed was unoccupied. For a moment, he felt panic rise inside of him before he cast a quick glance around the room and saw Jethro sitting on a chair and staring out the window with such intensity that he hadn't even heard Tony enter. Smiling slightly, Tony dropped his bag and coat on his usual chair, effectively pulling Gibbs out of his thoughts.

"Hey," Tony said, his fatigue somehow diminishing as he saw the happy expression on the other man's face. "We finally caught the guy. I swear, if we hadn't, Ziva would have killed someone with her knives or paperclips or whatever. Anyway, it's really great we got the guy now and to top that off, we got the whole weekend to ourselves, Jethro."

Gibbs gave him a rather broad smile at that and was about to get up, but Tony waved him down in an instant as he went over to the sink to wash his hands.

"Stay put if you don't mind. I'm too tired to do anything right now."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tony saw Jethro nod and give him a slight smile again and he once again realized how much he had missed the guy over the last couple of days. But maybe that was exactly what he had needed. Maybe he had needed the distance to appreciate the other guy's progress and everything about him basically again. So, Tony returned the smile and then reached for the towel to dry off his hands.

"So, how are you anyway?" he asked, looking at himself in the reflection of the mirror, taking in his tired-looking face.

"'m fine," Gibbs mumbled from behind and Tony nodded.

"That's gr…" he trailed off, watching his own eyes widen in shock as the realization hit him with full speed.

Gibbs had mumbled. Gibbs had mumbled. He hadn't imagined that, had he?

"You're fine?" he asked as he turned around, his heart missing two or three beats and his eyes fogging up.

"'m fine," Gibbs replied once again, more clearly this time and with a wide smile on his face.

"You… I…," Tony stuttered, not knowing what to say as he let the towel drop to the ground and rushed towards the older man who was still sitting there on his chair as if nothing monumental had just happened in this very room.

Tony stared at him for a short moment before he all but flung himself on the other guy, engaging him in a tight embrace. Gibbs' arms came around him automatically as Tony felt the first of his tears trickle from his eyes. He had no idea how long he stayed like that, hanging on to the other man for dear life, feeling like his whole world had finally come together again. He was still lost for words when he let go of him again, ignoring the way Gibbs had stiffened up for a moment when he had first embraced him.

"You said something, I can't believe it. And you're fine… do you have any idea how big that is? Of course you do. Sorry," Tony started to ramble after a moment of silence in which he had scrubbed away the tears from his face. "I'm just so… this is so awesome for you. We've been waiting for this for so long now and now I don't…"

"Toh-nee," Gibbs interrupted his rant with a feeble attempt to speak his name, but it worked because it did manage to render the younger man speechless again.

"God, Gibbs," Tony said after a little while, feeling the warmth of the other man's word spread within him as he realized how important that moment was for him, for Gibbs, for both of them. "I can't tell you how much I love you right now."

A/N: That's it for Part II. I hope you liked it so far and a review on your way out would be really great, too! ;)