I do not own any of the characters, Suzanne Collins does.

I'm having that dream again. It's the last night of the Quarter Quell, when the Arena exploded. I'm screaming for Aaron but I can't move since I'm paralyzed from the lightning and lightheaded from Johanna. I have to get to him. I hear him call my name but I can't tell if it's real. I scream his name as loud as I can but I'm picked up by a hovercraft being flown by the one, the only, President Snow who is about to… I wake up, thankful that I didn't see what's next. I'm soaked in sweat and tears and I feel horrible for slapping Peeta. It's already been a month but it just won't leave my conscience. I'm no better than his mother, the Witch. When I sit up I see a note saying I start training today. Good, something to get my mind off things and it's one step closer to killing Snow.

I get up, get dressed and go to find Haymitch because I have no idea where to go for training. He takes me there and I had no idea how out of shape I was. I haven't had any exercise in months and I have to drop out after a mile in the 5 mile run, but I don't feel too bad because Johanna Mason's in worst shape than me. After training, I go to my hospital room. I really want to get out of the hospital and live with my family but it turns out I'm a lot worse than they thought. I was recovering from a broken rib when I got there but it still seems to hurt. Also, I can't hear Aaron's name without sobbing for ten minutes straight but they say that will heal over time. Worst of all, I have flashbacks. Flashbacks of in the Capitol trying to convince me my mother and Prim are trying to kill me. Flashbacks that President Snow is everywhere. The worst flashbacks are that it's my fault Aaron's dead. If I just would've insisted he come with me to lay out the wire he would be here with me now getting rid of the flashbacks and nightmares.

I started having daily sessions with Dr. Aurelius to help me return to normal, but that's impossible. After I slapped Peeta, I went into this deep depression and didn't talk to anyone for about 2 weeks. They healed that by letting Gale and I go out to the woods to hunt. It really helps me clear my mind and forget about everything.

"Hello Katniss." I'm pulled back to reality by Dr. Aurelius.

"Hello. What's on the schedule for today?"

"I want to talk about Aaron." My body starts shivering at the sound of his name and I feel tears stinging my eyes.

"No. Please no."

"Katniss you'll never get better if we don't talk."

"Please, just not today. I'm exhausted from training and I had a flashback today."

"What was your flashback?"

Damnit, now I have to make up a flashback or else I'll have to talk about Aaron. Instead I just start shaking like I do during a flashback and he leaves me alone.

"Alright, how about you tell me everything you can about Peeta Mellark."

"Peeta Mellark is the baker's son. He has 2 older brothers. His mother hits him when he messes up. He's good at wrestling and came in 2nd at our school competition just after his brother. He was in my grade."

"Have you had any interaction with him before District 13?"

"No. How many times do I have to say that?"

"None at all?"

"He saved my life once. I was going through the trash in the pouring rain because we were completely starving. His mother came out and yelled at me so I just went and sat under a tree. I heard a large commotion inside the bakery and heard someone get slapped. His mother was screaming at him because he must've burnt bread. She told him to throw it to the pigs, but when he came outside and tossed them to me. That's it. Can I go hunt now?"

"Alright, go find Gale and you can leave."

"Thank you," I say and run out the door and for some reason I want to cry. I've always had so much control over my emotions but now it seems like I cry at the drop of the hat, thanks to Snow.

I find Gale in his compartment playing with Rory. "Gale, we can go to the woods early today"

"Really? Let's go!"

I catch 3 rabbit in the first hour and almost all of the snares are full but then the unexpected happened. I had one of the worst flashbacks of my life. Gale is setting a new snare and asks me to lay out the rope, similar to the way I did in the last Arena. All I can picture is ways I could've saved Aaron. I collapse suddenly and try to find air to breath but it seems as though all of the air has been taken away. I'm too stunned to cry but I feel a little better when Gale's takes me in his arms. "It's alright Catnip. I'm here, everything's ok. We're in the woods, remember? It's not our woods in 12 but we're hunting together just like we always do. Shh, don't cry. It's just you and me." Then, he kisses me gently on the forehead. Gale isn't usually calming like this, that was Aaron. He always made things seem better while Gale was always like me, thinking about the bad things. It's not like Gale, but I like it. I need it.

"After about ten minutes, I come to my senses. "Gale, I killed Aaron, real or not real?"

"What? Of course you didn't."

"Then why is he dead?"

"Because, it was the Games. He died just like all the other tributes did. It's President Snow's fault he's dead, not yours."

I look into his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. Those same Seam gray eyes that I know so well and I know he's telling the truth. And for the first time ever, it's me who leans into the kiss.

A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to review. It really helps! Sorry I hadn't uploaded in a while but I babysit every Tuesday and Wednesday and I just finished re-doing my room. I leave for the Smokey Mountains on Sunday and come back Friday so I won't upload until Monday at the latest but it will be extra long. I PROMISE! So stick around it will be worth it!